I'm a gay guy. Should I marry a woman?

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So I guess you haven’t seen or heard of a gay spirit. That can enter into a person.

I spent some time at norvel hays christian bible college. The students there observed spirits being cast out if people.
It adds a real understanding to scripture
And the power of the holy spirit
 
catholic1seeks said:
In the end, I don’t think the replies dealing with the hypothetical woman’s point of view are very helpful, because all along I have been assuming that the woman is open to it. My question is more about what it means for me, as a gay Catholic man, to live out a vocation. The woman is purely hypothetical, and the situation assumes things, as I have stated throughout the thread: (1) There would have to be at minimum SOME attraction, and, related, (2) the woman wouldn’t be RANDOM, and so, (3) it wouldn’t be ONLY for the sake of loneliness; and (4) She would know everything beforehand about me being SSA; and fundamentally, (5) it would be something we are BOTH open to.
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I pointed this out before but your hypothetical is based on a woman who initially is open to it. Were she at some point to wish for a partner who actually experienced intense desire for her, you’d have created a significant problem for you both. Why this worry doesn’t seem to phase you is odd to me.
 
It is very rare to be completely recovered but it is certainly not rare to have SOME recovery.
And that may be enough.
 
The analogy is this:

Let’s say I have a major fracture of my legs.
Well yes it’s very rare to be still an Olympic runner after so does that mean we shouldn’t treat it and just leave it fractured?
No! We should treat it so that you can at least walk if not run.

The gay lobby is telling us not to treat the fracture.

Telling a person to just start running is also not the solution. (So no don’t just get married)
The solution is a long process of rehab and healing.
And it depends how you go with that.
Perhaps you can only walk afterwards. (Living a celibate life)
But perhaps you can run (getting married) just not an Olympic runner (no SSA at all)
 
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Glad it’s “just fine” with you to deceive a woman so easily.

Your disdain for women is really sad.

It’s not even close to being a tricky question. It’s deceitful.
Ever wonder why mail order brides are a no-no?
Because it brings them into marriage under false pretenses.

Again, as someone else said. a person cannot solve your issues.
That’s true for starry eyed young women, and grown men who think they are smart, older women who think they’re hot, and old men who think they are hot.

People are not things to acquire. There’s no justification for that.
 
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The issue of same sex dilemma aside, I think you ought to concentrate on just why you feel you need to have someone else around you in order to be happy.
Perhaps you should try and teach yourself, and allow Him to teach you how to be content alone. How to be fulfilled with God and let Him comfort your soul.
If you are not happy with yourself you will never be happy even if you have another warm body around you.
I am man not judging, just seems like there is something else inside you that needs to be addressed.
Deal with your codependence first then tackle whatever else lies in front of you…
Also if your really seeking to be a faithful Catholic I really hope you are discussing this in depth and honestly with a trusted Priest…

Hope it works out for you…

M
 
Yeah but that almost never happens. Perhaps you are thinking of bisexuals who often switch between partners of different sexes.

If you are homosexual you typically stay homosexual. Just like if you are heterosexual you stay heterosexual.
 
HI’ve been following your thread for a bit.

I might be wrong. But these are Catholic marriage vows:

Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into the covenant of Holy Matrimony, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.
Groom: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love you and to honor you all the days of my life.

And a couple needs to accept children lovingly.

Do you think you can vow the above with a woman? And do you think a woman would mean her vows to you? That might be hard to discern.

I’m going against the grain, but I think if you might be able to marry sacramentally. You might need pastoral care to discern.

Chastity is hard in general. I can’t imagine how hard it is for a young gay person.
 
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Interesting. What is your source for this?

How is this any different if the marriage is between two heterosexual people? Are you honestly going to blame the spouse for a failure of chastity?

Is his why you have eliminated any biological factors?

Does trisomy on chromosome 21 have a biological purpose?

Again this statement seems to eliminate any biological factors.
pianistclare said:
Glad it’s “just fine” with you to deceive a woman so easily.

Your disdain for women is really sad.
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@catholic1seeks I have to say, you have gotten a lot of hostility from people who have not read your posts, or disregard the content of them. I am sorry.
 
I wouldn’t get married unless you had at least some attraction to your future wife.
check out http://www.the4tsandthechurch.com. It’s an interesting website, they have an audio podcast series about related stuff.

You have to accept that you can have meaningful relationships without those being marriage or sexual relationships. people are relationship oriented. You probably need meaningful same sex relationships. Maybe there are already people in your life you could have a more meaningful relationship with, and you just need to open up.
Marrying without OSA to your wife sounds pretty risky. wouldn’t try it. It’s probably not going to help with same sex intimacy needs, and for that reason your homosexual desires could be amplified, and potentially more problematic.
 
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Your post caught my attention and is very personal to me. This is the reason why. I (a woman) am very deeply in love with a man that struggles with SSA. He has absolutely no physical attraction to women…none. He has told me the exact same thing, that he is mostly afraid of being alone. We considered dating, but after praying about it he has told me an absolute no unless something changes. Here is why. Marriage should be both procreative, unitive, and a picture of Christ and the church. If any one of those aspects is missing it is not a healthy marriage. His fear is that we could not be sexually united. I have told him I would stand by him no matter what, but because he cares about me, he does not want to put me through that. That is his perspective and an accurate one I should add. However, I think it’s important to balance it with the perspective I have and that is should we get married or date right now in these circumstances? no. However, he has been honest with me and without explaining my whole life story, I believe it is not a mistake that we have met and that I believe there is a path of healing that is possible for him just as there was for me. I’ve told him I’m willing to stand by him as he finds that path of healing and that no couple has the sexual unitive part down from the get go. It’s something we grow in together. So how does this apply to your question? Ask yourself, am I able to follow the Biblical form of marriage? Am I wanting marriage for selfish reasons? Then realize that your desire to try to love a woman is a GOOD thing and that healing IS POSSIBLE. Realize that healing may need to come before marriage is a possibility but perhaps God will lead a woman into your life that is willing to help you on that journey.
 
Eek! At this point, I wish the thread remained deleted the first time!

Such horrid responses! Calling gay people possesssed! Goodness me.

Oh well! I think I just need a break from Catholic Answers Forums. About a good 20% of responses are even charitable…

I already accept church teaching. But going down the road some of you are proposing?!? Now that would be so self-destructive! No wonder gay Christians leave the church!
 
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My “disdain for woman”???

Really.

Give me a break.

Hope you become more compassionate in the future!
 
My heart goes out to you. I’m not sure if you saw my post or not, but it explains why
 
Thank you so much for being one of the only persons who understands the dilemma and responds compassionately.

Sad to see not many others are. I can see, now, why people end up leaving the church because of the example of others in the church 😦 Even now, I, a dedicated Catholic, am becoming bitter. I should know better and look to Christ, but people who dare to represent the church and Christ sometimes can be so awful.
 
catholic1seeks said:
I can see, now, why people end up leaving the church because of the example of others in the church 😦 Even now, I, a dedicated Catholic, am becoming bitter. I should know better and look to Christ, but people who dare to represent the church and Christ sometimes can be so awful.
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Consider this God’s call to you for your ministry. There are many needs in the Church, and some of them are better met by persons who see from this point of view. I know that it may seem at times like swimming up a waterfall, but you know in your heart that God loves every soul He creates, and that He desires all to be saved and come to the knowledge of the Truth.

One way to learn our vocation in life is to look at what we are passionate about, what impacts us deeply. Your suffering may be part of His call for you.
 
Thank you for sharing that with me.

I’m on my phone, so I can’t reply much at the moment. But I’m glad you understand the situation and have a particular perspective.
 
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