I'm a gay guy. Should I marry a woman?

  • Thread starter Thread starter catholic1seeks
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Sexual attraction doesn’t run a marriage. Genuine love does. Of course, no one’s marrying anyone unless they feel they genuinely love them. That’s what dating’s for.
 
Well, as I JUST said, I’m not planning on marrying a woman (singular) if I don’t have ANY attraction to her.

My OP may have been misleading, but I have “ZIP/ZERO” attraction to women (plural) generally. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be open to finding a woman who, eventually or even suddenly, I would be attracted to.
 
misstherese said:
Sexual attraction doesn’t run a marriage. Genuine love does. Of course, no one’s marrying anyone unless they feel they genuinely love them. That’s what dating’s for.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but if you read my post, you would see that I didn´t think marriage is only sexual attraction, but that sexual attraction is an important part. That´s a difference.
 
Well, I also don’t have context to what you mean when you said I’ve “changed” or seem different. I’ve had this CAF profile for about 10 years, so I imagine I may have changed in some ways. I’m 24 now, and I first got the account in the 8th grade.

I’ve always tried to be a faithful Catholic.

Any specific instances you are talking about in how I have changed?
 
Last edited:
It would only be a problem if one person has different desires. As a said above, two asexual people in a relationship would work. It wouldn’t work with one feeling sexual attraction and the other not feeling sexual attraction. It would be important to disclose this upfront, so there’s no conflict.
 
misstherese said:
It would only be a problem if one person has different desires. As a said above, two asexual people in a relationship would work. It wouldn’t work with one feeling sexual attraction and the other not feeling sexual attraction. It would be important to disclose this upfront, so there’s no conflict.
Click to expand...
I think you misunderstand the sexual out acting of marital love. Nothing in a marriage is one-way, and trust me, a spouse does feel if it is.
 
Well, since YOU asked…

you used to be stuck on doctrine.
Now it’s all about social issues.
Just seems out of character. You never ever posted anything remotely personal. It was always stuff like “how do we know…where did the church get this or that teaching”…etc.

I’ll unsubscribe. I just don’t understand how you could even think that marrying a woman will solve anything.

People have VERY close friends. Has happened since the beginning of time.
 
Also, for those who seem to be emphasizing the sex part of marriage so much, what about Josephite marriages?
A feature of Catholic spiritual marriage, or Josephite marriage, is that the agreement to abstain from sex should be a free mutual decision, rather than resulting from impotence or the views of one party.
Click to expand...
You know, the kind of marriage based, oh IDK, on the HOLY FAMILY itself.

This is just to point out that marriage isn’t always centered on sex. But, I’m assuming that my hypothetical marriage would involve sex.
 
alice24 said:
It would only be a problem if one person has different desires. As a said above, two asexual people in a relationship would work. It wouldn’t work with one feeling sexual attraction and the other not feeling sexual attraction. It would be important to disclose this upfront, so there’s no conflict.

I think you misunderstand the sexual out acting of marital love. Nothing in a marriage is one-way, and trust me, a spouse does feel if it is.
Click to expand...
We had recently the question of a man with irreparable impotence and if he was able to marry. The reason was no not because of cruelty, but because marital love is not only, but slo sexual and needs to have the possibility to satisfy this. Marriages must be open for a spouse changing in this matter, for example. Uncondtional love itself is not a base for marriage, not the only one. You can love a friend deeply and platonic, but this desn´t qualify for marriage.
 
If theres no desire or conflict of interest on both sides, there’s no issue. Every situation is different.

I think you are misunderstanding my posts. People can have romantic attraction but not sexual attraction and even gasp have healthy relationships. It all depends on if the other person is comfortable with it.
 
Last edited:
Well, since YOU asked…

you used to be stuck on doctrine.
Now it’s all about social issues.
Just seems out of character. You never ever posted anything remotely personal. It was always stuff like “how do we know…where did the church get this or that teaching”…etc.
Click to expand...
LOL wow how do you remember such things? Are you like this regarding other CAF members? But also, I’ve been into social issues (especially LGBT) for a while. I think I first asked something about it around 2010, because I was first starting to try to reconcile the “fairness” of why people were gay and God’s love.

However, I still post and start threads involving doctrinal issues all the time.
 
OK, so long as there is some measure of desire, then it’s fine?
 
I’m a very intelligent person. It’s not a stretch to remember certain posters. :roll_eyes:
Bye.
 
Read what I wrote about the impotence example. Even if both spouses would be ok, the marriage wouldn´t be possible. So, there is agreement, and it´s still not “everything ok”
 
I think you do know very well the difference between “no desire” and “desire” and “more desire” and “less desire”.
 
But several users on here have this imaginary threshold in mind. I’d like to know what that is. Like I said, I do not intend on marrying someone I have absolutely ZERO physical attraction to.

But I still wonder if that is necessary?? What about elderly people who get married in the Church?
 
Why would there be sexually unsatisfied marriages? Gay people still have sexual urges, and desire for a family.
Most marriages in the past were arranged marriages, so most couples probably weren’t attracted to each other at first, but i believe Love can grow, at least for women.

I don’t see anything wrong with a gay person marrying. Physical attraction eventually fades for everyone, he can even have a spiritual marriage like the Virgin Mary and Joseph.

It just doesn’t feel right to tell someone they have to be without a partner their whole life, loneliness is depressing for many people. Imagine being 80 years old with no kids or a partner and most of your immediate family dead, there is not much to look forward to. Most people would not like this life. It would be better to be a priest, because there is a parish community, but that is not a vocation for everyone.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top