I'm a gay guy. Should I marry a woman?

  • Thread starter Thread starter catholic1seeks
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I know right. Maybe we should put a dollar toll for replying.
 
Sorry what happened there with the private messages. I figured you’d dropped our conversation and I was just trying to open the subject to others. And I’m still not clear on what that “much more” is.
 
Last edited:
There have been so many responses, so I’m sorry, I don’t remember your original replies.

But it is fine! I accept your apology. I think a lot of the tension at first was because of misunderstanding.
 
I just want to first say that I am humbled by the honesty in your post. It was the first thing that stood out the most to me. The second thing was the realization of such a cross that God has called you to. The desire that to be loved and want to love and be in relationship with somebody is, for most Catholics, a beautiful and pleasant experience. I’m sorry If I keep coming back to your honesty, but I am moved by it. One of the reasons I am moved by it is because I think it is exactly this type of honesty that is going to impact the world the most. The burdens you feel and the cross you are carrying have a purpose and I know there are no easy answers to your questions. Do I think you should marry a woman? Not if you do not love the woman. Not just for the sake of being married. Not just so you aren’t lonely. I am not very old and I am not very educated but I have been very broken in my life. I have spent a lot of time in hospitals and psychiatric units because I could not bear the pain of life. Even if you do not find the answers that you seek today or tomorrow… the most important thing is that you haven’t stopped looking and asking. The fact that you do not want to lead yourself into sin and that you are trying to remain faithful to what the Church teaches is a testament to the kind of person that you are. Remember God does not demand us to be successful, he just asks us to be faithful…which from the looks of it, you have in spades. God Bless you for your humility and your honesty.
 
CD45 said:
I am not sure you endanger one’s soul by being either beinga Protestant or entering into a gay marriage.
Click to expand...
Really? Then why does the Church condemn schism and why does it not recognize and condemn gay marriage, if it weren’t bad for the soul?
 
If she knows about his SSA and is okay with it then it’s an intimate problem between them two.
But even if I am not a Catholic, I read here on CAF that a Catholic marriage requires some guarantee that children may or might be produced. Is that correct? If I got it right then it seems to me that the OP and his now theoretical bride would have to do some intentional lying to a church to receive a marriage.
White marriages (mariage blanc - a vow of chastity on both sides, or convenience marriage) are no longer accepted by the Catholic Church.

Impediment (Catholic canon law) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org

One impediment to marriage - refusal to have children.
 
Perhaps the Lord may have a vocation for you in the Church? It may be a celibate vocation, but you can be surrounded by people in need?

Do you pray earnestly very much for direction?

With God all things are possible.
 
Mary888 said:
If she knows about his SSA and is okay with it then it’s an intimate problem between them two.
But even if I am not a Catholic, I read here on CAF that a Catholic marriage requires some guarantee that children may or might be produced. Is that correct? If I got it right then it seems to me that the OP and his now theoretical bride would have to do some intentional lying to a church to receive a marriage.
White marriages (mariage blanc - a vow of chastity on both sides, or convenience marriage) are no longer accepted by the Catholic Church.
Impediment (Catholic canon law) - Wikipedia
One impediment to marriage - refusal to have children.
Click to expand...
All this is true except what C1S is saying is that any spouse would need to be open to children with him. So your assumptions fall flat!
 
CD45 said:
Okay, I guess I will be burning in hell with all my soul mates. 🔥🔥🔥
Click to expand...
That is not what Joe is talking about but you probably know that and if you don’t should probably try to learn what the Church Teaches about what might happen to ones soul that leaves the Church.

You like your ecclesial community, That is great, but Catholic Christians are called to Holiness and a much more exalted relationship with the Holy Trinity. So for one to know the Truth and leave the Truth Is a major problem. Even with the cross he bears C1S knows the Truth and cannot ignore it.

Peace!
 
catholic1seeks said:
For a long while, I’ve felt attracted to the idea of having a same-sex relationship. I have attempted this before. I KNOW that this is against church teaching, and I do not want to lead myself to sin.
Click to expand...
It sounds like you are already leading yourself into sin. Be careful, you don’t want to rationalize sin. The mind is capable of rationalizing anything; pedophiles do it, thieves do it, liars, adulterers, traitors, hypocrites, even Hitler rationalized his attrocities. Rationalizing evil is to suppress one’s conscience.

These days it is easy for people to rationalize evil. Instead of dying to one’s self as Jesus exhorts us to do, the world makes it easy to die to one’s own conscience, or rather, to suppress and kill it.

Today we are bombarded with messages that present fornication, promiscuity, homosexual and transgendered lifestyles as wholesome, noble and courageous by pornographers who have saturated the minds of people with smut, that a normal psychology has been conditioned to embrace whatever one desires. Thus the spirit of sexual immorality tempts us to misuse our sexual desires, that would lead to masturbation fornication, adultery, homosexuality, and all kinds of activities that bring disease into the world and father all kinds of psychological misery and suffering. The purpose of sexual desire is the procreation of children; not a lifestyle. Following one’s attractions is not a moral compass.

Killing the conscience is the reason why sin always leads to psychological problems and strange complexes. If you keep thinking about it then it’s only a matter of time that you’re going to embrace lifestyle. Temptation always begins with a thought; when the thoughts are not rejected, they become fantasies and sinful deeds in the heart.

Tiny seeds that take root in one’s heart, nourished by bad influence of movies, bad friendships, pornography, and imagination that indulges in all of it, the seeds become deep-rooted trees that are then hard to cut down; the rotten fruit being the separation from God. The spirit in full knowledge and consent goes along with the passions of the body and commits the sin.

Our bodies are the Temple of the Holy Spirit, a temple where God dwells. Thus mortal sin willfully ousts the Holy Spirit rejecting God from one’s life, in exchange for sin. Sin is incompatible with God.

The Church doesn’t teach that you cannot love other men; a man can love his father and his son, and male friends; it doesn’t mean you should have sexual intercourse with them; then that becomes a horrible sin. Sexual intercourse if for procreating people; eternal beings made up of body and soul.

The key is to fall in love with God and asking Him for help; seek Him sincerely from your heart. Following Christ is a pilgrimage of unmasking, uprooting and removing everything in our heart that separates us from God. God make this possible through the sanctifying grace we receive in the sacraments. Eternal Happiness and Life is not something to give up in exchange for a brief perverted lifestyle. Always keep in mind what is at stake:

 
Last edited:
Why are you replying to me about what another user said?
I am not making argument. Simply stating what I found, that a marriage with a woman who accepts him and let us agrees to never have sex with not even as a curiosity is a white marriage and Catholic Church does not accept it. Is this correct if you are Catholic and you know the Canon Law? I am not so I just present what gathered so far.
PS Even if my post (which I don’t see in any case as an argument because I am not detaing anyone here) “falls flat” so be it. Parallel to our wits is a real person (the OP) who wants a real answer.
 
Confused as to the point of all this.

Doesn’t my entire thread and its question suggest that I’m trying to follow church teaching?

No need for the fire and brimstone.
 
catholic1seeks said:
The Born This Way movement will use that data, but it doesn’t affect anything. Plenty of human conditions are genetic. Doesn’t mean God directly wills that.
Click to expand...
Even if God does not directly will genetic defects or other bad things that happen to people, that does not mean that He could not prevent them from happening in the first place or fix them afterwards. I’ve never understood the notion that an omnipotent God who supposedly loves us has no responsibility for anything bad that happens even to those of us that are innocent.

Luther’s Large Catechism which was published in 1529 has a section on the Ten Commandments and in the section on the 5th Commandment, “You are not to kill,” Luther says the following:
In the second place, this commandment is violated not only when we do evil, but also when we have the opportunity to do good to our neighbors and to prevent, protect, and save them from suffering bodily harm or injury, but fail to do so. If you send a naked person away when you could clothe him, you have let him freeze to death. If you see anyone who is suffering from hunger and so not feed her, you have let her starve…It will be of no help to you to use the excuse that you did not assist their deaths by word or deed, for you have withheld your love from them and robbed them of the kindness my means of which their lives might have been saved.
Click to expand...
So why would I be in any way responsible if I saw a hungry person and allowed them to starve to death because I didn’t feed them when God allows another three million children to die of malnutrition every year when he could have prevented it? It seems like a case of “do as I say, not as I do.”

And in the case of homosexuality, if this is indeed a disordered attraction which a person is not responsible for having, then why would God not prevent this person from having this attraction when He could easily have done so? This is especially true since, as @Briwerr has pointed out, “Not every homosexual will contract HIV; however there is a much greater chance a person will contract it if they are homosexual.” So, God, by allowing this supposedly disordered attraction, has not only put homosexuals in greater danger of committing a sin if they act on their attractions, but has also put them in greater danger of contracting a deadly disease.
 
Last edited:
So are we defending the Catholic teaching on homosexuality, or the notion of the Christian God in general?

I see you have trouble with both. I don’t think anyone has solved the problem of evil.

But I think you are correct to relate homosexuality, insofar as one accepts the Catholic sexual ethic, to the problem of evil. In that it’s not necessarily something God directly wills.

Part of the answer to the problem of evil is just the Christian Faith in general. Christ tells us that this world isn’t all there is. I know that looks like escapism and “head in the clouds” to non-believers. Nevertheless, the notions that this world is NOT all there is, and that Redemption and Resurrection are real, must be kept in mind when one is approaching evil and suffering from a Christian perspective.
 
Last edited:
Mary888 said:
Why are you replying to me about what another user said?
I am not making argument. Simply stating what I found, that a marriage with a woman who accepts him and let us agrees to never have sex with not even as a curiosity is a white marriage and Catholic Church does not accept it. Is this correct if you are Catholic and you know the Canon Law? I am not so I just present what gathered so far.
PS Even if my post (which I don’t see in any case as an argument because I am not detaing anyone here) “falls flat” so be it. Parallel to our wits is a real person (the OP) who wants a real answer.
Click to expand...
What you are saying may be correct but it is noot relevant to this thread or any help because this is not what C1S is talking about. He “WILL” be having sex and be in love with this spouse. He is not talking about entering into a “White marriage”
 
I looked throgh 500+ posts trying to find where the OP mentions intentions of having a full marriage with a woman. I found none. I get the feeling he wants more options from the Church because he wants a complete relationship a man. He even describes his priest’s answer as typical what else would a priest say.
Anyway useless or not my reply was in the reply to Irishmom who said an SSA man marrying a woman is unfair to her. I said that is not the case if she agrees but if it is a white marriage this is also not approved by the Church.
Let’s not steal the OP’s thread. Again, he states right from the start that he is not attracted to women at all, and further on in posts that he is somewhat dismayed of the options the Church offers to LGBTQ people.
 
Also read post 54 & 68 by C1S. This explains his veiws fairly well.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top