I'm addicted

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thestudentAD

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Hey everyone…
I’ll admit it. I’m addicted to porn. I started seeing video game sex vids when I was twelve, started masturbating at that time when I started reading erotic scenes and watching them. I first saw my first live action porn vid before my eighteenth or seventeenth birthday. I also watched it under the excuse that it would keep me heterosexual when my OCD came along and I had homosexual thoughts.
I’ve told my Dad… I haven’t told my stepmother. My pastor knows it, along with the other priests. My brothers, thank Heaven, don’t know it. And I don’t want them to see what I see.
I’ve wasted my graduate money on sex chats and sex sites, but it’s not fulfilling. I’ve never had sex… only masturbated.😦
Dear gosh, I want to get into a good relationship with a woman with an emotional and passionate aspect… and yes, I’m a Catholic. And I know I shouldn’t be doing this stuff. It’s just… so hard to let go, y’know? Sometimes, I’ve thought about writing my own erotic scenes. 😊
What should I do?
 
I have not had your particular addiction, although I have suffered from addictive behavior. Here’s what I’ve done to help my recovery:
  1. Pray a lot, especially when I don’t feel like praying. Go to confession when I stumble (yet again). Ask others to pray for you (you don’t have to specify why.)
  2. Find a counselor, who will agree that what you are experiencing is a problem. Ask your pastor or another priest you trust if they could refer you to a good Catholic counselor. if that’s not an option, you could call Catholic Charities or seek out a Christian counseling center (I found my counselor by googling “Christian counselor in [city]” and she was wondeful.)
  3. 12-step groups can be helpful. Several of them even have online meetings. It’s a relief to know that you’re not the only one, and that there are people who have been where you are who don’t stay there forever, and have lots of good suggestions for how to get you there.
  4. Find another hobby to substitute. My biggest triggers are what are called "HALT"s in 12-step world: being hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. I found things to do that were good for me that addressed these. Boredom is also a big trigger. For the time being, you may have to work hard to keep yourself busy.
There are other posters here who have struggled with this, too who may be able to offer more specific advice. God bless you. 🙂
 
Sometimes addictive or impulsive behavior can be triggered by health issues. You mention “OCD” as one particular concern of yours. I would recommend getting a full physical examination by a doctor, and discuss your issue openly with him or her as best you can to get better advice based on your situation.

You might also wish to discus this more, confidentially, with your pastor or another priest, however, try to limit the number of people you seek advise from. They can easily give you conflicting information, because each would only know part of your situation.
 
Its a very bad addiction in fact they say that about 1/3 of all males have it but no one talks about it. Its one of those perfect sins always done in private can be done in your own home.

I am some what an expert on porn addiction forI had the addiction for over 45 years however today I enjoy day 1104 of my freedom that came from a Confession in July 2011.

One thing is certain you are not going to get rid of it your self, marriage is not a cure and trust me when I tell you the addictions appetite grows and is never satisfied and it wants more.
I have a small group in Virginia Beach of men that struggle with porn Good news one fellow is over 300 days of freedom.
There is a group call SAA and I am sure they have a group in your area.
You need to pray, you need to go to Confession

Lots of Luck
 
thestudentAD said:
Hey everyone…
I’ll admit it. I’m addicted to porn. I started seeing video game sex vids when I was twelve, started masturbating at that time when I started reading erotic scenes and watching them. I first saw my first live action porn vid before my eighteenth or seventeenth birthday. I also watched it under the excuse that it would keep me heterosexual when my OCD came along and I had homosexual thoughts.
I’ve told my Dad… I haven’t told my stepmother. My pastor knows it, along with the other priests. My brothers, thank Heaven, don’t know it. And I don’t want them to see what I see.
I’ve wasted my graduate money on sex chats and sex sites, but it’s not fulfilling. I’ve never had sex… only masturbated.😦
Dear gosh, I want to get into a good relationship with a woman with an emotional and passionate aspect… and yes, I’m a Catholic. And I know I shouldn’t be doing this stuff. It’s just… so hard to let go, y’know? Sometimes, I’ve thought about writing my own erotic scenes. 😊
What should I do?
Click to expand...
Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength & fortitude to overcome your temptations.
 
There is a group galled “the Kings men” and I think they might have a group in your area . You are brave to admit the problem. Its amazing how huge this problem is and no body talks about it or do not think its an addiction. Ask any priest its the most confessed sin for males.
Find a group, keep praying, go to confession and find a good Catholic counselor.

Peace
 
Install software to block pornographic sites. Change the password for the software to a random combination of numbers and letters, and discard the password. Do this on all devices you use.

Begin saying the Rosary daily. Combine the Rosary while going on a walk if helpful.

Begin exercising 2-4 times per week.

Pray to God for his graces, for charity, strength ,for courage, for perseverance. Accept your dependency on him and acknowledge your inferior station; of your own meager willpower being pitted against a world of eroticism that is being directed by our enemy, who is immensely more powerful than you are.

Confess. If you fail, confess again. If you fail, confess again. For the sake of uncomfortable edification, I recommend face-to-face Confession, though obviously either is fine for receiving absolution. 2nd: Confess all daily venial sins in your life. Do not let the sole topic of your Confession be your acts of impurity. Confess these sins and intentionally work on them with the same pro-active assertiveness as you are giving to cease impurity. Sins are not islands. All sin begets all other sin. All acts of charity beget all other acts of charity. The stronger, the higher, the further you go in all areas, the stronger you will be in all areas. God is not interested in your mastery over your sex organ. What good is a sex organ independent from the body? He is not interested in your mastery over your head. What good is your head severed from your body? He is not interested in your mastery over your stomach. What good is your stomach removed from your body? He wants everything: so focus on everything.

Corporal works of charity and self-improvement. This is more important than any other piece of advice (other than Confession). Research ways to involve yourself in your parish, in your community, in your school, in your family, in your neighborhood. When this habit is broken, it is going to be because of the advancement of charity, not because of the repression of violent urges. Involve yourself. Use your hands, your tongue, your heart, your mind, and serve. Do not deem a service to be beneath you. If you have a schedule where you come home and sit around doing whatever, then you will lose. There is not enough willpower within your small person to overcome this age of eroticism by itself. You can either appeal for aid through works of charity, through positive socialization that strengthens you rather than serves as a near occasion of sin, and through activities of self-improvement, or you can lose. Confession is the sacrament that absolves you from sin if you have fallen, but works of mercy are what keep you up.

Finally: you must never give up giving up. This isn’t an evil that is going to go away without struggle. When you first commit to giving up, it’s going to be like the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan and the last 20 minutes of Rocky II put together, figuratively speaking. It’s not going to be pretty. Through the repetition of your sins, you have made them fortified within you.
 
I feel your pain! I will pray for you. I realized after many years the frightening position my soul was in, and that only Catholicism and my will could help me out. This is one of the best places to get help for sexual sins. Love others and do not beat yourself up. Keep pushing forward, one day at a time.
 
thestudentAD said:
Hey everyone…
I’ll admit it. I’m addicted to porn. I started seeing video game sex vids when I was twelve, started masturbating at that time when I started reading erotic scenes and watching them. I first saw my first live action porn vid before my eighteenth or seventeenth birthday. I also watched it under the excuse that it would keep me heterosexual when my OCD came along and I had homosexual thoughts.
I’ve told my Dad… I haven’t told my stepmother. My pastor knows it, along with the other priests. My brothers, thank Heaven, don’t know it. And I don’t want them to see what I see.
I’ve wasted my graduate money on sex chats and sex sites, but it’s not fulfilling. I’ve never had sex… only masturbated.😦
Dear gosh, I want to get into a good relationship with a woman with an emotional and passionate aspect… and yes, I’m a Catholic. And I know I shouldn’t be doing this stuff. It’s just… so hard to let go, y’know? Sometimes, I’ve thought about writing my own erotic scenes. 😊
What should I do?
Click to expand...
Check out Matt Fradd’s work on pornography addiction. He’s a recovering porn addict and his research is very illuminating. Porn addiction is nothing to make light of and has a very serious impact on the addict, the performers, and society in general. With the spread of the internet and the availability of porn at a touch of a button, you have every right to be concerned. You can find a connection to Matt Fradd on this site. Most important, remember that God loves you no matter what you think of yourself or what others think of you. Keep God in mind in everything you do and remember: we are all sinners but we are all children of God and He wants the best for us. God Bless you and give you strength for the journey.
 
First of all, you are not alone. Every man (and most women) have looked at porn.
  1. Please don’t be ashamed of your sexual feelings. It is normal for humans to have sexual feelings.
  2. Think about how unrealistic the sex is in porn. For example, shower sex is cramped and doesn’t work well.
  3. Think about how unrealistic the women (and men) are in porn. Real women have stubble on their legs, flawed bodies, and have bad breath in the morning. Real women have personalities, complicated lives, and aren’t always in the mood for sex. Most men aren’t that big, haha.
  4. Think about the STDs that are floating around in the porn industry.
  5. Think about how demeaning porn is to women, and how these women are being taken advantage of. Think about how society, despite paying these women handsomely, still disrespects them and kicks them to the curb when they’re no longer hot. (The Catholic Duke girl who claimed it was empowering to her… yeah right. So obvious she’s just playing her character. I can see right through it.)
  6. Think about the future women you date who will be offended, aghast, and devastated if you look at porn.
  7. Dude, porn gets old! Get a woman in real life!
 
I go to confession whenever I can now, about at least once a week or twice in one week. I still struggle with masturbation. I have started praying the divine mercy and the Holy rosary, striving not to procastinate. And yet… half an hour ago after doing the fourth day of Divine Mercy: It happened again.
 
You have to understand the nature of what your are dealing with, before you can get rid of it.

“I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin”

All sins take away your self control, that means, they turn you into a slave. That is pretty much a straightforward method to know if something you do often is a sin of not. If it takes away your ability to control yourself, then odds are you are facing a sinful situation.

So, what can you do? Well, I will tell you what worked for me: an honest confession, plus grace of God. And God only helps those who ask for His grace with humility.

You can’t fight the devil with porn blockers, passwords, of any human trick. Trust me, it doesn’t work. But the power of God can set you free of this addiction, forever.

So, the next time you go to confession, here is what you are going to do: you are going to embarrass yourself in front of the Lord.

You are going to tell him exactly what your did, how many times, and you are going to regret it. You are going to humiliate yourself in front of Him and ask Him to help you, because the truth is you can’t beat sin without His help. Nobody can. So you will BEG for forgiveness and then you will BEG again for the all the grace you need to work your way through sanctity in this whole situation.

And then the next time you are tempted you will feel as weak and vulnerable as you ever were, except this time you will be with OUR LORD by your side… and you will feel that too. And that is what is going to prevent you from sinning: HIS PRESENCE AROUND YOU.

Been there, done that. Trust me, it works.
 
What finally solved it for me was this very effective online community

reddit.com/r/NoFap/

They developed all kinds of prevention and coping mechanisms based on personal experience.
 
You should do two things:
  1. Go to confession to the same priest every time you do it. And face him–don’t hide behind the barrier.
  2. Avoid “near occasions of sin.” For example, if drinking causes you to do it, then stop drinking. If even running a “porn” search on Google starts a process that ends in you watching porn, then don’t even do that. Same thing goes for turning on the computer. Figure out the things that lead to you watching porn and stop doing them.
 
thestudentAD said:
I go to confession whenever I can now, about at least once a week or twice in one week. I still struggle with masturbation. I have started praying the divine mercy and the Holy rosary, striving not to procastinate. And yet… half an hour ago after doing the fourth day of Divine Mercy: It happened again.
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And yet you sound like you’re resisting this sin very admirably. Keep at it! Don’t give up on your struggles. Offer your struggles to Our Lord and ask Him for His Forgiveness when you fall. Then get up and try again. We all struggle, brother, and we all sin. Have faith in God and trust in Him. God Bless you.🙂
 
I had this problem for many, many years and here are my observations made during recovery:
  1. Fighting addition is hard. Don’t expect to get rid of it immediately or even within a year.
  2. It is possible to live without porn and not to miss it.
  3. Although you will probably never be entirely free of temptation, resisting it will become much, much easier.
  4. Fighting porn is “all or nothing”. You need to cut yourself of everything that encourages you to look at it. Those things might be fairly innocent for most people but still dangerous for you (browsing social sites, going to the beach, indecent conversation, gazing at pretty girls, etc). That is not forever, in time, you will acquire resistance to temptation.
  5. It is beneficial to make porn less available for you. If you need to put some work into acquiring it, you also have time to reconsider and control yourself. Blocking software can be used for that purpose.
  6. Develop a habit of praying to God for strength when experiencing temptation. Also pray for chastity in your daily prayer. But remember that prayer alone probably won’t cure you.
  7. Be aware that sexual abstinence actually benefits porn recovery instead of hindering it. So don’t worry you don’t have a wife yet. Marriage would make your life harder instead of easier!
  8. Control you thoughts. Quickly banish every thought that might make you want porn. Do not muse about past sins. Do not wallow in your sexual desires.
  9. Things will become easier in time!
It might be helpful to consider porn addition as a disease that affects your brain. First you need to cut yourself from the poison which is causing the disease (porn) and next withstand until your mind heals. There are some scientific studies about porn addiction. If you value scientific approach - look it up.
 
NormanWithers said:
I had this problem for many, many years and here are my observations made during recovery:
  1. Fighting addition is hard. Don’t expect to get rid of it immediately or even within a year.
  2. It is possible to live without porn and not to miss it.
  3. Although you will probably never be entirely free of temptation, resisting it will become much, much easier.
  4. Fighting porn is “all or nothing”. You need to cut yourself of everything that encourages you to look at it. Those things might be fairly innocent for most people but still dangerous for you (browsing social sites, going to the beach, indecent conversation, gazing at pretty girls, etc). That is not forever, in time, you will acquire resistance to temptation.
  5. It is beneficial to make porn less available for you. If you need to put some work into acquiring it, you also have time to reconsider and control yourself. Blocking software can be used for that purpose.
  6. Develop a habit of praying to God for strength when experiencing temptation. Also pray for chastity in your daily prayer. But remember that prayer alone probably won’t cure you.
  7. Be aware that sexual abstinence actually benefits porn recovery instead of hindering it. So don’t worry you don’t have a wife yet. Marriage would make your life harder instead of easier!
  8. Control you thoughts. Quickly banish every thought that might make you want porn. Do not muse about past sins. Do not wallow in your sexual desires.
  9. Things will become easier in time!
It might be helpful to consider porn addition as a disease that affects your brain. First you need to cut yourself from the poison which is causing the disease (porn) and next withstand until your mind heals. There are some scientific studies about porn addiction. If you value scientific approach - look it up.
Click to expand...
Excellent points.

If you want to see a chilling display of what it is like to be an addict of something. Check out Deadliest Catch Season 10 episode 6 titled “Falling Down”. You see a young man go through a trigger event, give in, rationalize, project, have a moment of clarity, agree to rehab and then almost talk himself out of rehab. It continues somewhat into the next episode too.
 
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