Im Bisexual

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ceciliatherese

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I just turned 19 and recently accepted that I’m bisexual, and have been since I was very little (my earliest memories are from when I was 6, always drawing pictures of pretty girls because I found them really attractive). When I was 11, I accidentally stumbled across bdsm porn online, and I got addicted to it. Over the years I’ve tried to stop but it’s been really hard. I’m wondering what to do, (BESIDES talking to a priest, that’s one thing I wont do). I haven’t told anyone about it besides my brother, and I’m at a loss. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you.
 
YOU are a person…indeed a Catholic.

You are not a bisexual…no matter what attractions you may have…

(do not define yourself as a bisexual)

That first is very important to note.

And the second is like it…what to do? Live a holy life…live ones baptism …chastely following Christ joyfully as his disciple!

The Sacrament of Confession is very helpful…and important. (always deal with any mortal sins there…before Communion…and do not be afraid…even if something from the past was of such a nature (if one hid something mortal in confession in the past…tell the priest that you hid it…and ask him what to do next…such needs to be taken care of…)…the priest has heard it all…and more…)

One can see a good Catholic counselor here: catholictherapists.com/…and this may be of some assistance couragerc.net/

Oh and read these!!!

vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/messages/youth/index_en.htm

Let us live in Christ! In him is* true life*
 
I would recommend you start by looking for resources in your area to help with porn addictions. Why don’t you want to talk to a priest?
 
You might see if their is a porn addiction group in your area for women. Being in a support group with other women who feel they don’t have enough self-control in this area might help.

BTW, the tempation isn’t wrong, but if you can look for what triggers your loss in self-control, you might find it easier to choose barriers to put into your life that could keep you on the straight and narrow without such a hard interior battle of will.
 
I feel for you. I am a bisexual myself and it is a very hard plight and highly misunderstood. This site is probably not the place to go to look for help. I asked a question like this under an old name a while back and got ripped apart and harassed… The biggest thing I have found that has helped me is finding someone who you are comfortable talking with about this (kind of an accountability partner). I would be very careful when picking this person out, because if it gets out, you can deal with great hostility and even hatred from the community. I don’t mean to scare you, I just learned this the hard way. Prayer is helpful as well. These feelings of same-sex attraction may never go away (they haven’t for me), but they have become more manageable in time. Another word of advice would be to NOT go to a catholic homosexual support group, the homosexual community tends to be very hostile to bisexuals. I hope that this helps!
 
Dr. Philip Mango
President, St. Michael’s Institute
Psychotherapist

118 E.28th St., Suite 916
New York, NY 10016

phone: 646-424-0395
fax: (504) 910-8576
email: info@saintmichael.net

He is a real sweetheart of a man. Very compassionate. He also counsels (depends) by phone. Don’t know if he still does.
 
ceciliatherese said:
I just turned 19 and recently accepted that I’m bisexual, and have been since I was very little (my earliest memories are from when I was 6, always drawing pictures of pretty girls because I found them really attractive). When I was 11, I accidentally stumbled across bdsm porn online, and I got addicted to it. Over the years I’ve tried to stop but it’s been really hard. I’m wondering what to do, (BESIDES talking to a priest, that’s one thing I wont do). I haven’t told anyone about it besides my brother, and I’m at a loss. Any advice would be really appreciated. Thank you.
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This is your cross to carry. Embrace it as a way to show God that from being celibate, you are offering up your sexuality as a sacrifice. There’s not much room for manoevre in the sense that homosexuality and porn will always come under the category of adultery. Try to accept this as being a pain you can offer up.

Confession is a must! But the priest will be delighted to absolve you, so there’s no need to worry because Jesus doesn’t want us to be anxious, but to turn to him trustfully.

The porn addiction can be worked through, e.g. avoiding triggers, joining a support group etc.

Think of all the crosses you DONT have to carry and thank God for that.

You never know God’s power of love and compassion. Turn to him. There are wonderful things in life beyond sex, there’s so much out there, so much joy.

Be guided by the Holy Spirit on your journey. God loves you!
 
bethanysamuel said:
This is your cross to carry. Embrace it as a way to show God that from being celibate, you are offering up your sexuality as a sacrifice. There’s not much room for manoevre in the sense that homosexuality and porn will always come under the category of adultery. Try to accept this as being a pain you can offer up.

Confession is a must! But the priest will be delighted to absolve you, so there’s no need to worry because Jesus doesn’t want us to be anxious, but to turn to him trustfully.

The porn addiction can be worked through, e.g. avoiding triggers, joining a support group etc.

Think of all the crosses you DONT have to carry and thank God for that.

You never know God’s power of love and compassion. Turn to him. There are wonderful things in life beyond sex, there’s so much out there, so much joy.

Be guided by the Holy Spirit on your journey. God loves you!
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There is no reason why a bisexual person can’t be in a monogamous straight relationship. I am a bisexual who is happily married in a sacramental marriage. Saying she must be celibate is a little harsh.
 
JoArtist said:
There is no reason why a bisexual person can’t be in a monogamous straight relationship. I am a bisexual who is happily married in a sacramental marriage. Saying she must be celibate is a little harsh.
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My mistake,sorry.
 
Porn addiction is very tough to break free from. One thing that helped me A LOT was to put a picture of the Blessed Virgin Mary as my wallpaper on the computer, and make sure my browser home page presented me with similar images.

Hope that helps

God bless
 
Well if you are bisexual, that means you can be attacted to the opposite sex. So, I would say that you should just look for the opposite sex.
 
Since same-sex attractions are characteristic of both homosexuals and bisexuals, you may find the study by the Catholic Medical Association on homosexuality helpful. It deals with same-sex attraction.

narth.com/docs/hope.html
 
Myqyl said:
Porn addiction is very tough to break free from. One thing that helped me A LOT was to put a picture of the Blessed Virgin Mary as my wallpaper on the computer, and make sure my browser home page presented me with similar images.

Hope that helps

God bless
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I did a similar thing to break mine is that I thought of Jesus put a picture in my mind and when that didnt work I pictured him crying when I looked and I no longer view the stuff and rarely think of it…Good luck. when you try and fail keep trying you can and will succeed.
 
JoArtist said:
I feel for you. I am a bisexual myself and it is a very hard plight and highly misunderstood. This site is probably not the place to go to look for help. I asked a question like this under an old name a while back and got ripped apart and harassed… The biggest thing I have found that has helped me is finding someone who you are comfortable talking with about this (kind of an accountability partner). I would be very careful when picking this person out, because if it gets out, you can deal with great hostility and even hatred from the community. I don’t mean to scare you, I just learned this the hard way. Prayer is helpful as well. These feelings of same-sex attraction may never go away (they haven’t for me), but they have become more manageable in time. Another word of advice would be to NOT go to a catholic homosexual support group, the homosexual community tends to be very hostile to bisexuals. I hope that this helps!
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Thank you JoArtist, for taking the time to reply, and give me advice and stuff. 🙂 I’ve actually been thinking of posting this on here for about a year, and finally decided that I will; hopefully nothing bad will come out of it.
 
jsaldar said:
Well if you are bisexual, that means you can be attacted to the opposite sex. So, I would say that you should just look for the opposite sex.
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Thank you Jsaldar. When you’re bisexual, sometimes you have preferences of one sex over the other sex. For me, I greatly prefer girls, I don’t find too many guys attractive. Some, I definitely do, but it’s mostly girls. I have a crush on this girl I know right now, and I could definitely see myself being in a relationship with her. It just seems so natural for me, and strange to try to block it out.
 
ceciliatherese said:
Thank you JoArtist, for taking the time to reply, and give me advice and stuff. 🙂 I’ve actually been thinking of posting this on here for about a year, and finally decided that I will; hopefully nothing bad will come out of it.
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I hope that I have helped you!
 
ceciliatherese said:
Thank you Jsaldar. When you’re bisexual, sometimes you have preferences of one sex over the other sex. For me, I greatly prefer girls, I don’t find too many guys attractive. Some, I definitely do, but it’s mostly girls. I have a crush on this girl I know right now, and I could definitely see myself being in a relationship with her. It just seems so natural for me, and strange to try to block it out.
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If she were a man, but married to someone else, you’d have to “block it out,” right?

It is a sign of our times that having to fight temptation is counted as an unnatural act. Passions are a gift to one who is blessed with self-control, but we are not meant to be owned by our passions, nor defined by them.
 
EasterJoy said:
If she were a man, but married to someone else, you’d have to “block it out,” right?

It is a sign of our times that having to fight temptation is counted as an unnatural act. Passions are a gift to one who is blessed with self-control, but we are not meant to be owned by our passions, nor defined by them.
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He gender doesn’t matter… the fact of the matter is it is hard to “block out” same-sex attraction when being a bisexual…especially if you are more attracted to the same gender. People act like you can just be with the same gender and not think about the other gender. Not so… it is a constant struggle. I know… I love my husband, but temptation still arises. I for one can’t live a normal life. I refrain from not only being alone with a man, but being alone with a woman as well. My friendships are limited and it is horribly isolating. People don’t realize how hard it is to be a bisexual.
 
JoArtist said:
He gender doesn’t matter… the fact of the matter is it is hard to “block out” same-sex attraction when being a bisexual…especially if you are more attracted to the same gender. People act like you can just be with the same gender and not think about the other gender. Not so… it is a constant struggle. I know… I love my husband, but temptation still arises. I for one can’t live a normal life. I refrain from not only being alone with a man, but being alone with a woman as well. My friendships are limited and it is horribly isolating. People don’t realize how hard it is to be a bisexual.
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I’m hearing that it is not just the fact that you are bisexual, but the fact that the noise level of your temptation is exceptionally high. That must be very difficult. I would think that level of sexual tension, that is the excitement of seeing someone as attractive on more than a casual passing-notice basis would be very tiring.

I have a great many male friends, and quite a few of them are priests. When we are going to have a private conversation, we either meet where someone not in the room with us nevertheless knows we are there and could peek in at any time or else we just plain meet in public, like in a restaurant. My husband always knows and is always invited. As it happens, I don’t think I meet any of my female friends under different circumstances. We have private conversations, but never in a place that we would have an opportunity to “do” anything. Very often, we meet in a group. That is not by design, it is just how it is. Women are especially likely to socialize in groups–you know, bookclubs and whatnot. Maybe you could have a social life far more like mine than you know. But I do understand where that might be like a strict diabetic trying to work at See’s.

That would be very hard. I don’t know what could be like that for me, except maybe to have a long list of food allergies: you know, no eggs, no dairy, no gluten, no alcohol, no this, no that. It would make social events so hard that I’m sure I’d be less social, even though I’d miss the human contact. I’d probably resent that being “good” required more privation for me. The energy required to “be good” while being social would be too high to do it often. Yeah, I think I can imagine the basic idea. Very hard.
 
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