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3DOCTORS
Guest
Okay, I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think you’re getting closer to the heart of the matter here. You lost your dad - your male role model - right when you were making the transition from just barely beyond boyhood to manhood. I am guessing if your dad had not passed on, you would have had him to go to for more advice, and to imitate. Also you have some “baggage” from being bullied. That can drag a person down. You have to work through the traumatic memories and try to forgive the perpetrators so you can be free of all that negative junk. Your spirit will be lighter and optimism will come easier if you can jettison those bad memories. I think a spiritual director or mentor may be a big help if you can find the right person.I’m sorry If I come off having a bad attitude in these posts. Its just hard because as of now I don’t really have anyone in my age group in my area since I’m out in the middle of rural nebraska where most people (let alone Catholics) are either older or have families. In public I try to be nice, and I try to find events and be positive whether its in my part time jobs (I substitute teach and work at a grocery store. Hopefully though I will get a teaching job or some other better full time job, or do this masters program I’ve looked into where I would teach in a Catholic School while getting a masters… and its subsidized if I get in:thumbsup, but at the end of the day I feel so alone. I’ve always had friends, but i’ve never been close or had a group of friends who did everything together. I always see these people, and I just feel like i’m some creepy loner sitting in the corner, even though I try to smile and look like it doesn’t bug me.
When I’m home though I just get so sad about it. I feel like everyone else is out having fun while i’m just alone sitting on a stupid computer. I do pray and I do try to do other Catholic events when they are available, but there don’t seem to be much in my diocese that are youth centered. Also, other young people events don’t happen much unless it involves getting drunk or if I do go, I feel weird because i’m alone instead of with a friend or a group.
I guess I also feel like things just never go away. People say trust in God yet the wrong things happen. My father died at 15. I was bullied to the point of threatening kids at an otherwise great Catholic school, i couldn’t get a job. Sure good things have happened, but they seem insignificant to the bad things. I guess I have to look at it though that God is preparing me for something greater, but its so hard when I hear people say God has blessed them so much and I don’t get as many and it makes me doubt my faith. I do though try and keep going by going to mass and hoping God gives me enough strength to get through things. Even so, I still feel like I have to be self centered because no one else seems to care about me and my problems and just say “pray about it” or “your depressed” and just go on without actually helping. I guess though sometimes I just get so frustrated and want more than just the typical answers. I’ll also admit that I do like to argue sometimes and am sorry if I’ve come off as uncharitable or selfish Thank you for at least being honest. I guess sometimes I just still hold on to the idea that some girl will love me flaws and all, but I should stop that and try and change myself. What are some ways to get a better attitude? Any tips?
God Bless
BenJammin
Sometimes the church young adult programs do leave something to be desired. I used to go and feel disappointed too. Well, it was hard not to because the ratio of females to males was high, and the available males were often considering seminary or were confirmed bachelors - or at least didn’t get bitten by the marriage bug till well into their 30’s! So there were a lot of us ladies feeling like wallflowers. Now if this is the way it is in your group, you may actually have an advantage.
Sadly, it is true that some go to the groups and don’t set a good example, consume excess alcohol or other problematic behaviors. But the fact that you don’t will be in your favor too if the young woman who values your moral standards happens to show up one night. However, if the groups aren’t your thing, there are other avenues.
haha but all I’m saying is that looks don’t mattee because 30 years down the road looks go away and all you have is personality left. So if you chose a rotten personality over looks well bad choice. Wait. You’re still pretty young I mean go out have fun enjoy yourself meet other people. Maybe youre not yet ready to get married. My cousin didn’t get married till she was in her 30s. Lots of ppl don’t get married till their late 20s. What’s your hurry? Be patient. 
