I'm Catholic. She's Mormon. I need some advice

[Lemuel]

Mormons are trained to deceive.

There is a host of questions that he should ask her about her faith. I’m sure you know what a lot of them are. It would be interesting to see how honest she really is.

 

[Lemuel]

Of course, she may want you to do the same with her Mormon beliefs…

If she is anything typical in this kind of situation, she will ask him to take the missionary lessons.

 

[phil19034]

As someone who married a Jewish woman (I was away from my faith at the time), I strongly suggest not getting into interfaith marriage.

Marriage is hard enough when both spouses practice the same religion, it’s A LOT harder when they are different.

Now, that doesn’t mean it can’t work; but it can be very lonely too. For example: when you want to celebrate the sacraments together or go to mass together. Or if you eventually want to put up Catholic art around your house. And all this is before kids…

When children come into play - someone loses. With kids, one of three things winds up happening (as long as the two are practicing different faiths):

1. You raise your kids Catholics (which you would be expected to do) and she doesn’t get to pass on her faith to her kids.
2. You raise your kids mormon (which would be tragic) and you will sit there praying that they convert and that they one day get to be validly Baptized.
3. You raise the kids as nothing (thinking you will let them choose when they get older) and then they wind up picking nothing.

While there are plenty of secular (non religious) couples who make interfaith work, if you are religious or if you later become religious - this will be a major Cross to bare.

I love my wife, and I would NOT want to do anything differently because if I did, I wouldn’t have my kids. But, I would never tell someone that it’s OK to follow in my footsteps and marry someone who wasn’t Catholic, let alone someone who wasn’t even Christian.

Please pray hard on this.

If you have any questions, please feel free to message me.

God bless.

 

[PennyinCanada]

This is one of those things that a person needs to find out early in a relationship. After some time has passed, you get attached to each other, then there’s a bunch of energy spent on trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

It’s hard to end the relationship. But. When you are looking for a life partner (and she is as well) you need to get this right. Build your house on the rock that is Christ so when the wind and rains come, it will stand.

 

[adamhovey1988]

Okay, I’ll be honest with you. I’ll date (any possibly marry) a non Catholic, so long as they are Christian, or at least tolerant of my beliefs, and they have the understanding that my kids MUST be raised Catholic. In fact, the only girlfriend I have had since my conversion is Baptist (she is now married, good for her!), but I don’t think I would be with a Mormon. When a Mormon says they believe Christ and when a Christian says they believe Christ, they mean two different things (as someone else already pointed out). I’ve never been Mormon, but know quite a bit about it.

 

[ReaderT]

Though she states that she believes and accepts Christ as her savior and has been saved and believes herself to be a Christian practicing the Mormon faith

Mormons believe God the Father was a mortal man (like you or me) on another planet, but became God of this universe. Then he took the Virgin Mary to his planet (“Kolob”) and impregnated her in the natural way.

Anyway - no matter what religion you are, you’ll want a spouse with the same concept of reality as you. This is just a basic thing.

 

[Lemuel]

Just a minor correction:

Then he took the Virgin Mary to his planet (“Kolob”) and impregnated her in the natural way.

According to Joseph Smith, the Mormon God lives on a planet near the star called Kolob. Kolob is not a planet where the Mormon God dwells.

 

[Lemuel]

Which brings up another interesting doctrine of Mormonism. They are polytheistic. As their hymn, “If You Could Hie to Kolob” implies:

If you could hie to Kolob In the twinkling of an eye,
And then continue onward With that same speed to fly,
Do you think that you could ever, Through all eternity,
Find out the generation Where Gods began to be?

 

[Legend]

How much do you know about Mormonism? I don’t mean ‘are they nice people?’ Or anything like that. I mean, have you studied anything about Mormon doctrine?

And, no, you don’t have to go to any 'anti-Mormon sources. Although you can use them as shortcut’s, official Mormon doctrine will tell you all you need to know:

Mormons are definitely NOT Christian! When asked, they usually claim the fact that they use the name of Jesus, in the title of their Church. It’s not the same Jesus we belie e in. This Jesus is an elevated (‘exalted’ in their vernacular) human being, who, like all worthy Mormon males has, or will, become a god, once he is deemed worthy. Yes, lots of Gnosticism. And, an almost limitless supply of potential Gods, as godhood is the goal of every Mormon!

They have no problem with ‘lying for the lord’. If it will, in the minds of their prophets and elders help you, or them, to attain exaltation, they can take liberties with what is, or is not, true Mormon doctrine.

Yes, there are exceptions, but, since the internet anti-Mormon sites have proven that they’re not easy to get rid of, church-going Mormons are learning more than ever! About their true doctrine, and how to make it palatable to outsiders. Not an easy job, but one that must be done!

I could go on, but I think you get the picture…you’re setting yourself up for a life of misery if you marry this woman! If you feel you have to see her again, make sure you are strong in your faith, and brush up on the facts of hers.

Wishing you well. God Bless!

 

[1ke]

We didn’t really bring up the topic of faith untill recently, she had always said she was Christian and that suited me.

Mormons are not Christians. They do not have valid baptism, and deny the Trinity.

I’m sure not converting to Mormonism, and she states that her Mormon faith has made her who she is and she will never be a Catholic.

Sometimes, we discover deal breakers when dating. That’s the purpose of dating. This is a deal breaker, in my opinion.

I don’t know what to do. We’re both not budging on Faith,

Again: you found a deal breaker serious enough to end the relationship.

I want her to see the light, and if things get serious, have a relationship rooted in the Christian faith.

This is overstepping. You cannot force someone to become a believer. You cannot pressure them in a dating situation. You cannot base a future with someone on who you want them to be.

Take off the rose colored glasses and see her for who she is: a practicing Mormon with no desire to become anything else.

You have your answer, move on.

Looking down the road if we get that far, what about the saccrament of marriage and the upbringing of kids?

Deal breaker.

Can a Catholic and a Mormon have a successful, meaningful relationship?

No.

 

[1ke]

Okay, I’ll be honest with you. I’ll date (any possibly marry) a non Catholic, so long as they are Christian, or at least tolerant of my beliefs, and they have the understanding that my kids MUST be raised Catholic.

As someone who has known a number of Catholics who went into a mixed marriage with this assurance only to have the non-Catholic spouse change their mind after children came along-- some in very aggressive ways including getting it written into divorce/custody decrees… this is not the easy road you make it sound.

I always advise against mixed marriage as a general rule. It’s very precarious even when it starts out with these sorts of assurances.

 

[debgab]

No! This is a scenario that will turn into an unhappy marriage; if she showed any
sign of sounding the least bit interested in the catholic faith, then, she could attend
RCIA to find out more about it, however, it’ll still be hard work and it could take a very long time if ever she decided to convert. You’d be going to mass by yourself in this relationship.
If you have children then it gets even more complicated. You are each on different planets in regards to faith/religion. Right now she seems like the perfect person
but, as your faith begins to demand your attention, you may see another side of her
that you will not care for, as she will not care for another faith other than her own.
In the back of each of your mind’s, your both probably hoping that each will convert
to the other’s faith.

 

[vsedriver]

Can a Catholic and a Mormon have a successful, meaningful relationship?

one thing you must remember… you don’t just marry your spouse, you marry a whole family. So you must decide what kind of life you want. What kind of life you want your children to have. Because if she is a practicing Mormon she is going to want her children to be Mormon and her family is going to put pressure on her and you for that to happen. It can be subtle or it can be obvious but when the kids come along that’s when all hell breaks loose.

Is that a life you want?

 

[LittleFlower378]

I’m just curious, how long have you been dating this woman? Other posters have had similar questions(about getting married to someone of a different religion) and they have been dating for a long time. For me(if I were single and looking to court) it would be one of the first questions I would have asked the girl, what is your religion!?!?

 

[YourNameHere]

Unfortunately religion can sometimes be a relationship breaker. I pray for you both to find a solution. All good things start with prayers.

 

[Lemuel]

Having seen this many times when I was Mormon, I would not be surprised in the least if she’s been told that if she is righteous and faithful to her Mormon covenants that you’ll eventually come around and be baptized.

 

[SeeTheLight]

Don’t let her blind you keep your faith. I grew up in Utah it will not work ultimately it will be her way or the highway. Maybe you can convince her of the Catholic faith? I wish you well.

God Bless

 

[DaveBj]

Without having read the previous responses . . .

Don’t be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14). It’s a bad idea.

D

 

[PetraG]

I brought up the topic of converting to Catholism and her response was if I try to convert her, she’d be changing herself to suit my needs, not hers.

Even if she were to say she wanted to become Catholic, I’d let her do it first and then come looking for you afterwards. She has a strong need to know she was not pressured into doing something that important. I’d say she is absolutely right. You need to let her go.

When someone has been raised in a family that is still LDS, leaving the Latter Day Saints or allowing one’s children to be brought up as anything other than Latter Day Saints is an extremely serious step for a Mormon. Do you love her? Don’t even consider asking her to do that, except when you can be sure that you in no way pressured her to do it. Even if she were becoming Catholic of her own accord before she ever met you, she could tell you that her relationship with her family with regards to religion could be very thorny if they are at all serious about their own faith. The Latter Day Saints didn’t survive in this country by being “live and let live” about apostates. Every family is different, every social circle is different, but they tend to be as serious as a heart attack about that.

The Vatican and the officials of the Latter Day Saints have mutually agreed that neither one recognizes the baptism of the other. In other words, each church sees the other not as being a different denomination, but as a cult. Converts from one to the other have to be re-baptized (unlike, for instance, Lutherans or Baptists who convert to Roman Catholicism).

You each hold strongly to mutually incompatible faiths. Be respectful about it, but wish each other well and go your separate ways. If nothing else, your children would thank you, but I will bet that when you each marry within your own church you will both each thank yourself for the wisdom of making this decision at the outset, when it is still relatively straightforward to do. I’m not saying it will be easy, but don’t second-guess yourself. Do what is the most respectful thing for your own faith and for the other’s faith. Break up now and do not look back.

 

[MiamiValleyCatholic]

Wel I talked to her to get some specifics. She wants to let me practice Catholicism and to let her do her own Mormon thing. She wishes to agree to disagree and not pry in each other’s religions. She got very very defensive when I attempted to "enlighten’ her of the Catholic faith. And acted like her church only spreads good things about interfaith, and all the hate retoric of the such comes from catholic points of view. She also aggreed to attend Mass, to listen and respect the Priesthood, but not convert. Oh, and that’s only if her Mormon church dosen’t interferee with Mass. As for the kids (if any) she says it’s right not to tear them from one religion. It is sounding to me like she wants myself to be Catholic, have kids be Catholic, and for her to be Mormon, and somehow all co-exist in peace. I just don’t understand.