I'm embarrassed about my vocation

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=scapularkid8;5035253]I feel like God is calling me to be an exorcist.
I can’t explain it and I don’t really understand it, but I just feel like that might be my vocation…
I don’t know what to think of it or what to do about it.
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Friend, why “embarrassed?”

If this actually defines your state of mind, then, one might conclude that the “lack of peace in your heart” may be the Holy Spirit telling you NO?

On the other hand, this is a ministry of the Holy Spirit. If your still in School (A Catholic School) seek out someone who has advanced knowledge of Moral Theology. If this is not possible dicusss with your Confessor, as all priest have some MT background.

Gifts of “The Spirit” are not to be sought, or they would not be gifts.

Heb. 2: 1"Therefore we must pay the closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it. 2 For if the message declared by angels was valid and every transgression or disobedience received a just retribution, 3 how shall we escape if we neglect such a great salvation? It was declared at first by the Lord, and it was attested to us by those who heard him, 4 while God also bore witness by signs and wonders and various miracles and by gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to his own will."

I shall offer a prayer for your discernment process.
 
If you haven’t noticed, I have a flair for the dramatic. I’m a poet and it comes with the territory.

I imagine that (to you) I sound like I’m trying to beat you up. I can have that effect on people, especially when I’m sitting at home, typing on my computer, and I can’t see the face of the person I’m speaking to, and thus cannot read non-verbal communications which tell me if I’m going too far.

I don’t know why I got so worked up over this. I just did. I’m 41 (you’re 19). I’ve been where you are. I have. I read the Satanic Bible, thinking that I needed to know the devil better in order to fight him. I was wrong. This is just my confession. I’m not saying YOU read the Satanic Bible. But the thing is, the devil is seeking vocations as much as God is. They are both putting out “the call.” I don’t know how else to say it than that. I made a good confession and was surprised by the fact that I began weeping and shaking profusely. The priest even hugged me afterwards. It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, being freed from that.

I used to like the smell of marijuana but told myself I’d never do it. (Um…I did it. Yep, me and President Obama, a couple of former potheads 😊). Telling yourself that you’d never touch a Ouija board but then talking about it as if it were nothing is the same way that I talked about pot. The seed was there, and my resistance broke down over time, like water flowing through the (now) Grand Canyon. That’s how these things start.

Your other posts do show you have much knowledge and you seem well versed on many faith issues. It warms my heart to know a young man such as you is so well-versed in his faith. Many your age are not, and I’m sure you know this.

I PM’d ByzCath and asked him to share here (thank you) as he is Byzantine and I thought it might help you if you had advice from both the West and the East, as it were. He’s also a Carmelite. Deacon Ed B is a deacon. I’m just a poet, and a former seminarian. They are a professed and an ordained; listen to them.

We don’t know you, but we love you. You remind me of a guy I knew that thought like you do, and he went the wrong way. Satan beat him. He’s now married to a Wiccan. I’m not saying YOU will get married to a Wiccan.

Note to Deacon Ed B: The exorcist priest I knew told me *some *details about one exorcism (I was a seminarian at the time, and it was for educational purposes–he only shared how he knew that it was a possession rather than mental illness), and it wasn’t anything quite as dramatic as the Exorcist movies, but there are books that account true exorcisms and I read about ten pages into one and had to put it down.

Wiser heads than mine have counselled you here. Please just listen to *them *without writing them off completely. You are my brother. I’m praying for you as I hope you’ll pray for me. Please forgive yet *another *overly long post.
 
I knew from the beginning even saying this would case flare ups. Maybe that’s where the other part of the embarrassment came from! 😃

I also understand that the reason you’re all getting very worked up over someone you don’t even know is because you care about me and my soul. Thank you. That’s great.

I should be even more clear about my personal situation:

I don’t get involved in any occult practices at all. I have refused to be in the same house as Ouija Boards before because I know how perverse they are. And I attribute my awareness of that to myself being a person that doesn’t put up with the occult. When I do educate myself on occult practices or topics I always seek a Church opinion/interpretation and use that as a signpost for any other information I may want to look up.

I guess we just share different views on how evil should be approached. Yours is careful. Mine is almost a drunk-with-courage run head on. Both can be dangerous and either way the devil can use different tactics to lure people that hold both approaches. We’re human, but Christ is our God, and as much as satan hates to admit it, Jesus of Nazareth is it’s God too, even though it refuses to serve Him. Something I like to keep in mind.

Also, this is not a huge major life thought for me in any sense. It was just something I felt/realized could be my path and wanted to vocalize that. When and if I’m ready I may choose to talk to someone about it, but I don’t want the general thought to be that I’m out in the dark at night running around with a Rosary and Holy Water fighting imps in a park.

This is a sensitive issue either way and I get that.
And for the record, I detest Ouija Boards and pot smells completely disgusting to me :cool:
 
It has always been my understanding that anyone feels compelled to be an exorcist, should not be one at all. I have been involved in one for 5 years a lay person (the possessed was a female) with two priests and with two bishops’ blessings. And anyone who is ‘attracted’ to this needs to be thoroughly scrutinized and my gut feeling is that you could not be a candidate for such a job. It is not a ministry one take lightly and is not for the faint hearted. It is actually ‘discerned’ by the higher ups…
 
Nom_the_Wise said:
Note to Deacon Ed B: The exorcist priest I knew told me *some *details about one exorcism (I was a seminarian at the time, and it was for educational purposes–he only shared how he knew that it was a possession rather than mental illness), and it wasn’t anything quite as dramatic as the Exorcist movies, but there are books that account true exorcisms and I read about ten pages into one and had to put it down.

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ours was not quite as dramatic as the exorcist of course, but it was bad enough!!! I would have to fast and pray hard before accepting anything like that again! Although, I would not have missed it for the world: I realized that the devil’s word is dead and boring to tears and God’s word was live and full of life!!!
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Shoshana said:
It has always been my understanding that anyone feels compelled to be an exorcist, should not be one at all. I have been involved in one for 5 years a lay person (the possessed was a female) with two priests and with two bishops’ blessings. And anyone who is ‘attracted’ to this needs to be thoroughly scrutinized and my gut feeling is that you could not be a candidate for such a job. It is not a ministry one take lightly and is not for the faint hearted. It is actually ‘discerned’ by the higher ups…
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You have a point. I wouldn’t write off everyone who felt called to do it, but it definitely can be a negative sign too. There’re are a lot of people attracted to these things in the wrong way, and haven’t even discerned the bad spiritual source or interior flaw of that attraction and the things wrong with it.

Still, exorcism is in fact properly what every priest does to a certain degree and part of the priestly calling, despite the total collapse of these times in these matters.
 
scapularkid8 said:
When and if I’m ready I may choose to talk to someone about it, but I don’t want the general thought to be that I’m out in the dark at night running around with a Rosary and Holy Water fighting imps in a park.

This is a sensitive issue either way and I get that.
And for the record, I detest Ouija Boards and pot smells completely disgusting to me :cool:
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I don’t know where you guys get those “animated” emoticons, but I’d put the one that rolls around laughing right here…😃 😃 😃 Imagine these, rolling around, Ha Ha Ha! That’s hysterical.

I don’t know about y’all, but *I *feel better. God bless you, son! Your head is screwed on far tighter than I thought.

You don’t have any classes with Bin Ramke, do you? I was his student once. I’d tell you to tell him I say “hi” but I’m anonymous here, and there’s no way in hell that I’ll tell anyone my real name after all the noise I make in CAF in general.

Peace!
 
Nom_the_Wise said:
I don’t know where you guys get those “animated” emoticons, but I’d put the one that rolls around laughing right here…😃 😃 😃 Imagine these, rolling around, Ha Ha Ha! That’s hysterical.

I don’t know about y’all, but *I *feel better. God bless you, son! Your head is screwed on far tighter than I thought.

You don’t have any classes with Bin Ramke, do you? I was his student once. I’d tell you to tell him I say “hi” but I’m anonymous here, and there’s no way in hell that I’ll tell anyone my real name after all the noise I make in CAF in general.

Peace!
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I haven’t and don’t think I’ll ever be taking a class from Bin Ramke. His area isn’t related to my majors at all (International Studies & Spanish). I’ve seen him around and heard about him though. I’m too busy putzing around the Jozef Korbel International Relations school where Condi and Madeline Albright spent their time 😃
 
As has been pointed out, exorcists must be Priests first. This is not just a matter of pre-requisite. It is a matter of calling - any exorcist is first and foremost a Priest. His vocation is not exorcist, but Priest. And while he may perform exorcisms, his first duty is to continue the apostolic mission of the priesthood through the sacraments.

So do not seek discernment over whether or not you would be an exorcist now. Discern whether or not you are called to be a Priest.

I would recommend that you look at the writings of Pope John-Paul II (especially Redemptoris Missio) and Pope Benedict XVI to help in this.
 
I just watched a TV show on EWTN that was an interview with an exorcist. He has written a book called Exorcism and the Church Militant by Fr Thomas Euteneuer. I think this would be a good place to start your research.

you might also want to research where you could see this interview again - it was good. I found an article about it here but it doesn’t say when you could see it again - EWTN might have this info.
americanpapist.com/labels/exorcism.html
 
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