I'm getting a vasectomy :)

[captainmike]

Just. Don’t. Do. It.

 

[Memaw]

OldNewCatholic,
I think your choice to get a vasectomy is totally fine.

People is against birth control because of the potential to destroy a human life. If you take conception out of the picture then there is no life to harm. I dont know why other forms of birth avoidance (except NFP) are all bad. I think its totally up to the individual, their personal choices, where they are in their relationship with their spouse and family to make this decision.

And where does God come into your plans to “do your own thing.” God Bless, Memaw

 

[Memaw]

This was your most rational post
Listen, many of us here can sympathize your situation. It’s a difficult Teaching, but because it does not compromise faith in our Lord at all. This is why many of the Catholic Churches Teachings are rejected… because they do not compromise an unspotted faith in all things. St Paul said, “what does not come from faith is sin.”

There are natural ways to avoid a pregnancy. Contracepting is forcing shut the ultimate purpose in which God fashioned sex. This is reducing what making complete and unhindered love to your wife is intended to be, to a faithless act of carnal pleasure. Is it the worst sin in the world? Of course not. But committing a sin and planning to regret it is not an option. To regret something means you not only wish you never did it, but you realize that our Lord suffered death in order for you to be forgiven of it, and received by the father as spottless.

The instances where people are forgiven a permanent sterilization, are because they are truly remorsefull. You are dangerously treating the Sacrament of Confession as superstition. Please examine your conscience before God. You are taking out the honest prayer before the Holy Spirit and expecting a blessing. This is a huge issue which non Catholics use against the Church Sacrament of Confession to spread heresy.

Is it the “worst” sin in the world? Any mortal sin is the WORST sin. And if you die unrepentant, loosing your immortal soul to Hell would be the very worst thing to ever happen to you. Is it worth the risk !! I would say NOT. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Psalm98]

Troll most definitely.

 

[rcwitness]

Is it the “worst” sin in the world? Any mortal sin is the WORST sin. And if you die unrepentant, loosing your immortal soul to Hell would be the very worst thing to ever happen to you. Is it worth the risk !! I would say NOT. God Bless, Memaw

My point isn’t to say it’s not potentially very destructive.

St James says whoever transgresses against part of the law is guilty of the entire Law.

10 For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it.

But we do not have to argue that a married couple using contraception is equally terrible as murdering someone for pleasure.

The issue is about our honesty with God. Some sins push us completely away from an honest prayer with Him.

Some protestants are able to use contraception with much less guilt on their conscience. We are blessed with more conscience forming grace than them. The closer you are to God’s Truth, the more we realize we must suffer, and the more we participate in His suffering the more joy we will have.

For in much wisdom is much vexation,
and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.

 

[Joe_5859]

There is no reason to call the OP a troll. His thought process is not exactly a unique one. There are plenty of Catholics out there who think similarly.

J, I know you now regret the thread and so may not return, but I just wanted to encourage you to speak with a priest about this before you make any decision. You seem to be an honest guy who is still grappling with the issue. Seek counsel from a wise pastor. They are there to help us with difficult moments such as this. I know your faith is important to you, else you would not have bothered posting here. You owe it to yourself and your family to receive that Catholic feedback.

We are all selfish. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t all be sinning all the time. But we are all still called to be holy. And all of us are called to be holy. It is not a call for a select few priests and religious. Every Catholic has that calling. And since God does not call us to do things that are impossible to do, we know that He will give us the grace necessary to be holy.

Jesus called us to seek first the Kingdom of God. That’s not always easy. But it is always possible with His help. As husbands and fathers, we need to strive to be the heroic men that we are called to be for our wives and children. I know you can do it.

 

[Usige]

My heart truly weeps for you. I had a vasectomy after my second child was born. Since neither my wife or I were Catholic at the time it wasn’t a big deal and would not have been a mortal sin; grave matter yes, mortal sin no. The problem is I kept having nagging doubts at the oddest times. When I was called home to the Church those doubts burst through a dam and the grief for what I did nearly overwhelmed me. About eight years after my vasectomy and two months before being received into the Church I had a reversal. While it wasn’t required it was part of my personal resolve to right the wrongs I had done to God. He has since blessed us with 4 more children. I say blessed because the doctor gave us less than a 30% chance of having anymore kids. When we let him know that our fourth post reversal child was born he was amazed because most men only have one or two more.

Although He blessed us, I know that I will still have to account for my selfishness come the final judgement. Even if you are absolved that does not mean you won’t be called to account for your choice. Assuming we make it to purgatory, we still are liable for the temporal punishment for our sins. Knowingly sinning and then presuming on God’s mercy are a recipe for disaster.

I pray that the Lord sends you the graces to do the right thing. So many inadvertently walk into the darkness, but every knowing step into it makes it that much harder to return to the Lord.

 

[Jeanne_S]

Troll

My thoughts exactly!

 

[rcwitness]

My thoughts exactly!

That’s unfair and inhospitable (word?) to throw at someone. I hope he is not a troll, and that we have offered him some encouragement. I hope he returns here to discuss, fellowship more. Maybe he will someday encourage others to use natural family planning.

 

[Sarcelle]

Thanks for not calling me a troll. My understanding is once I have confessed I am fine to receive the Eucharist from then on and I don’t have to get the procedure reversed. As for my wife she is religious but not Catholic and has no issues with contraception in general.

We here in this forum can give you all sorts of advice.

Please talk to a priest and tell him that you plan to get a vasectomy and then plan to confess it later on. You feel sorry but you plan to do it anyway and then will go to confession in order to get the Eucharist.

See how he reacts to it.

 

[Zachary]

OldNewCatholic,
I think your choice to get a vasectomy is totally fine.

People is against birth control because of the potential to destroy a human life. If you take conception out of the picture then there is no life to harm. I dont know why other forms of birth avoidance (except NFP) are all bad. I think its totally up to the individual, their personal choices, where they are in their relationship with their spouse and family to make this decision.

The Catholics Church is against any sexual act closed off from the potential to create life. NFP in not a sexual act.

If we all lived life with ourselves as the centrepiece, we’d have a lot more problems than what we see today.

I hope you return to this thread and ignore the trolls calling you a troll. Sincere or not (and I got the feeling as I read more that you were) I assure you others with the same “questions” read but never post.

I think you’ve gotten the answers provided and some sound advice. Mine is that a decision can seem right in one moment but leave you empty later. Worse when someone else’s decision leaves you empty.

You’re in my prayers.

 

[whm]

Couple of thoughts,

1. Once you are totally cut off from God’s Grace, your thought process might change and you may never even go to confession. This is very similar in my mind to trying crack once…
2. If you do successfully confess, confession does not erase the temporal consequences of sin. You may end up with a lot of cleaning up to do in purgatory.
3. As others have said, sin has consequences outside of yourself. What affect might it have on your wife? What affect will it have on your children? What message are you sending them about sex, about honesty? How might it impact other readers of this forum?

Hoping you make a good decision.

 

[O_Sapientia]

Others have already demonstrated that your proposed “loop-hole” is untenable. You cannot presume on the Sacrament of Confession by pressuming that you’ll be absolved of the sin of presumption.

But that is only half of the response you need. I notice that you said that your desire to get a vasectomy is due to fear of complications during birth. I am assuming that your wife is struggling with child-bearing, so I believe there’s three paths that you should explore. The first would be to consult with an appropriate doctor about the nature of the complications she has experienced or may experience in future pregnancies. Do not settle for one doctor’s opinion, you must explore the matter. My fiancée’s sister’s first daughter was delivered by c-section, and her coming second child will be delivered naturally. Many doctors strenously oppose VBAC deliveries. Because of a minority of complications in VBAC, every doctor from the north to the south is gung-ho about c-section. Of course, that’s where the money’s at. In the mean time, and possibly after your consultation with your doctor(s), you should explore Natural Family Planning (NFP). Catholics are permitted to use NFP for grave reasons, and the health of the mother is a grave reason to avoid pregnancy, whilst still maintaining the marital relationship. NFP is not an artifical means of contraception. Practising NFP means restricting intercourse according to the days and periods of the woman’s natural fertiility cycle when the woman is infertile. Women naturally have ups-and-downs in their fertility cycles. And it is permissible to restrict sexual intercourse to the days when conception is not as viable. It does not introduce an artificial contraceptive—condoms, the “cut”, etc.—and it facilitates openess to human life. NFP is not 100% accurate, so pregnancy is certainly a chance. If another child comes, you trust in God’s providence. And lastly, the least desirable of all, but quite a possibility, you bite the bullet and keep your pants on. Rather you surrender marital relations than committ a grievous act of sin against God.

In Jesus and Mary,
OS.

 

[whm]

That’s unfair and inhospitable (word?) to throw at someone. I hope he is not a troll, and that we have offered him some encouragement. I hope he returns here to discuss, fellowship more. Maybe he will someday encourage others to use natural family planning.

Trolling is a very common internet practice. Pointing out somebody as a troll is not an insult, like they look like or smell like a troll. It is labeling what they are doing, and warning others not to feed the troll. It is often helpful to point out trolling. Whether the IP intended to troll or not, it looked like a troll post. If he is not trolling he can demonstrate with future posts.

 

[EMILYOCD]

my husbands had one he is an atheist and am catholic the decision was made because i have mental health problems and i cant go through a pregancy because id be with out my meds i have OCD , Schizophrenia and severe depression
with out the medication am a danger to myself and others the meds i take would kill the baby or make it very deformed and it would suffer

i believe that its not a sin to want no suffering

my husband made the choice now we have to live with it

 

[O_Sapientia]

i believe that its not a sin to want no suffering .

Good intentions are not sinful, no. But the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The prohibition against vasectomy’s are not particular to the Catholic religion. This concerns the natural law and can be known and understood by all persons. The purpose of the sexual organ is to engage in the sexual act of reproduction. If you did not consent to the proceedure or supported him in it, then you have committed no fault, nor would anyone encourage you to withhold the marital debt from him. What’s done is done, and you simply have to make the best of the situation.

For someone in your case I think that there are other options. NFP stands to mind, and abstaining from sexual intimacy is another. But, although in your own case this is no longer applicable, for others in similar circumstances I would encourage them to consult with doctors (psychiatrists) to see about alternative medications that may be more accomodating to pregnancy. As you no doubt know, psychiatric science can be hit and miss at times, and it’s far from an exact science. My brother’s fiancée has had new courses of medications every other month until they finally found the right balance for her. I would encourage those to keep searching.

In Jesus and Mary,
OS.

 

[Crosscut]

And where does God come into your plans to “do your own thing.” God Bless, Memaw

God is in the same place he always is.

 

[whm]

my husbands had one he is an atheist and am catholic the decision was made because i have mental health problems and i cant go through a pregancy because id be with out my meds i have OCD , Schizophrenia and severe depression
with out the medication am a danger to myself and others the meds i take would kill the baby or make it very deformed and it would suffer

i believe that its not a sin to want no suffering

my husband made the choice now we have to live with it

I feel for your situation. However, that was your husband’s choice and you are not responsible for it, unless you actively encouraged him to go through with it. If you are concerned speak with a priest about it. Based on your post, it appears that there are extenuating circumstances about your ability to meet the consent requirements for a sin in this situation. Now that it is done, you are not obligated to abstain from relations, nor would the OP’s wife. As you pointed out he is not a Catholic, which is quite a bit different than the OP’s situation.

I am the man in a similar situation with my wife. We made a different choice, abstinence is a moral option. This was not an easy path for us either. But ultimately, I would rather go without than put my wife or children’s life in danger. I eventually got over it.

 

[Memaw]

God is in the same place he always is.

Outside lookin in while you make all the decisions? God Bless, Memaw

 

[Crosscut]

Outside lookin in while you make all the decisions? God Bless, Memaw

Lol
I think thats pretty presumptuous that you would know someones personal like so well that you can say for sure that God is not with them. I think you ought to pray like a good Catholic and think before you make judgments on someones personal relationship with God.

Peace/love/bless/etc