I'm in a tough situation

[Celtic_Catholic]

My friend and I have been put into quite a situation. We went out with a bunch of our friends over a month ago, and both of us had way too much to drink. I don’t remember most of what happen that night, but I do remember waking up in bed with my friend. Both of us were completely horrified, and neither of us knows how we managed to get that drunk or how we ended up in his dorm, let alone his bed. Most of our friends had gotten pretty drunk too, so we just don’t know what happened.

Regardless, I just found out I’m pregnant. I know it’s his baby, because I was a virgin before that night, and he’s not denying that it’s his. The problem really isn’t the baby, I’m a pretty devout Catholic (I know this isn’t making me sound like one), and he is converting to Catholicism, so there is no question that I’m going to have the baby.

The problem is there are a lot of little issues. The most pressing is that my friend happens to be gay. This pretty much negates us being able to get married, but he still really wants us to try and raise our baby together, even if it means living like brother and sister. I’m not sure how we could possibly make that work. He’s coping with understanding that as a gay Catholic he has to be celibate, but for me, I want to marry. I just think it would be very awkward for our child growing up in a household like that, especially since we’re both very young I’m 19 and he’s 21. I’ve considered allowing my parents to adopt our baby, but he really wants us to raise the baby. He’s really taken charge the last couple of days, he’s already looking for either a better job or at least a second job until he finishes his degree, and an apartment near our university. He tells me not to worry, that we can do this, and that he’ll take care of everything. I’m skeptical, I want to do right by my baby. I’m wondering what would be the proper thing to do in this situation, our baby would call us Mom and Dad, but we’d live like brother and sister…

Congratulations!

The first thing that came to mind is how could a gay man be intimate with a woman . . . especially while he’s drunk? Being drunk takes a lot out of you (if you know what I mean). To be “successful” there has to be A LOT of attraction and desire there. (I don’t mean to be crude.) So I’m wondering if your friend is truly gay.

Regardless, sex without marriage is wrong. You made one mistake that resulted in a blessing that will bring you joy for the rest of your life. So you should ask God for forgiveness and thank Him at the same time.

My advice is to not feel pressured about marrying anyone at this time. Concentrate on taking care of yourself and your child. Make a plan. If you have supportive parents, accept their help. It’s always better to keep the child with his or her biological family if possible.

God bless all of you!

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

I have to agree with YellowDaisy. I don’t personally think adoption is the best idea here.

I know someone very close to me who got pregnant out of wedlock. I was thinking of you when I saw her today, actually. The dad did not intend to have anything to do with their child. She then got married to a good catholic man, and the child has a wonderful life with his mother, step-father, younger half-brother and younger sibling on the way.

Are there married coules out there wanting to adopt? Yes. Is a single household the ideal situation for a child? No. But I see no reason here severe enough to break up your family like that. You don’t know what God has planned for you in the future. This child shouldn’t have to ever ask himself “why didn’t mommy want me?” when it’s something as silly as being an unwed mother. Almost a third of all children born in America are born to single moms. They turn out just fine and have a great relationship with their mother. One of my best friends is this way. She went on to go to college, get married, and live devoted to the Lord. It’s not the end of the world.

 

[Celtic_Catholic]

I have to agree with YellowDaisy. I don’t personally think adoption is the best idea here.

I know someone very close to me who got pregnant out of wedlock. I was thinking of you when I saw her today, actually. The dad did not intend to have anything to do with their child. She then got married to a good catholic man, and the child has a wonderful life with his mother, step-father, younger half-brother and younger sibling on the way.

Are there married coules out there wanting to adopt? Yes. Is a single household the ideal situation for a child? No. But I see no reason here severe enough to break up your family like that. You don’t know what God has planned for you in the future. This child shouldn’t have to ever ask himself “why didn’t mommy want me?” when it’s something as silly as being an unwed mother. Almost a third of all children born in America are born to single moms. They turn out just fine and have a great relationship with their mother. One of my best friends is this way. She went on to go to college, get married, and live devoted to the Lord. It’s not the end of the world.

Such a beautiful post.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Such a beautiful post.

aawwww.

 

[Sasha]

This child shouldn’t have to ever ask himself “why didn’t mommy want me?”

Hi all,

I’m not weighing in to try to tell the OP what to do… that’s got to be an incredibly difficult decision that I can’t personally imagine. However, I feel the need to address some of the comments made in this thread about adoption. (which, quite frankly, are offensive, to this adoptee).

I have never had to give up a child for adoption, but I am adopted. I was adopted at 3 months by my parents who gave me a wonderfully stable upbringing. I am eternally grateful for the very difficult decision that my biological parents made, which was in MY best interests. There are people who have (obviously) had a bad experience with adoption, and they want everyone to believe that it’s a bad decision. I have NEVER thought… why didn’t mommy want me? (honestly, that’s a far more offensive statement to make to me than “give my baby up”). I know that it was a difficult decision made in my best interests. I have talked to a lot of other adoptees and almost all feel the same way as me.

Adoption is not right for everyone… but it CAN give a child a stable upbringing with 2 parents in the same home that love that child.

For those of you who are offended by the fact that I believe adoption is viable… I am sorry, but I speak from experience.

 

[momof8]

Hi all,

I’m not weighing in to try to tell the OP what to do… that’s got to be an incredibly difficult decision that I can’t personally imagine. However, I feel the need to address some of the comments made in this thread about adoption. (which, quite frankly, are offensive, to this adoptee).

I have never had to give up a child for adoption, but I am adopted. I was adopted at 3 months by my parents who gave me a wonderfully stable upbringing. I am eternally grateful for the very difficult decision that my biological parents made, which was in MY best interests. There are people who have (obviously) had a bad experience with adoption, and they want everyone to believe that it’s a bad decision. I have NEVER thought… why didn’t mommy want me? (honestly, that’s a far more offensive statement to make to me than “give my baby up”). I know that it was a difficult decision made in my best interests. I have talked to a lot of other adoptees and almost all feel the same way as me.

Adoption is not right for everyone… but it CAN give a child a stable upbringing with 2 parents in the same home that love that child.

For those of you who are offended by the fact that I believe adoption is viable… I am sorry, but I speak from experience.

Dear Sasha,
I wrote the first post about adoption and want you to know how precious I think your message is. The response by the adoptive mother hit me pretty hard. I was sad to see adoption characterized by the adoptive mother as something that would “only (only?) add unnecessary emotional difficulties for you, the father AND the baby” and that “adoption complicates things-- it doesnt simplify them!” Actually, out of wedlock pregnancy is what complicates things for the innocent baby, but this old world has a long history of unwed pregnancies (and adoptions!) that turned out beautifully. I think the OP and the baby’s father are wonderfully admirable in their immediate response of care and concern about their still-so-tiny baby, and felt that adoption in this case is more than worthy of their consideration. I realize that some people simply would never consider separating from their child, and that is completely understandable, but your message was a needed reminder of how well adoption can work in bringing happiness to the baby and the adoptive parents.

Your message especially touches me because I am a birthmother and I hope my daughter feels exactly as you do about her adoption! I am so glad that you find the “why didn’t she want me” question offensive because if anything could break my heart again 25 years after her adoption is the thought of her holding that question in her heart. I’m so glad that I came across this thread and your precious response! God bless you, Sasha, and your entire family!

And to the OP, I will continue to keep all of you in prayer! You are a wonderfully concerned mother!

 

[msumissa]

I too am an adoptee. My TWIN brother and I were adopted as infants through Catholic Family Services. I have been immeasurably blessed by adoption. My parents provided a wonderful home full of love as had my extended family. After having 2 precious babies myself, I realized what a gift my birthmother gave my parents. I have thanked her in my prayers.

Ours was a closed adoption, I don’t know how many open adoptions there were 37 years ago.

Adoption is a viable answer. I am very shocked by the PP who said it was not.

Each person has their own experience.

I am SURE you would never beat or hurt your child, but look at the statics of single mothers who do? I am sure those children would have been better served had someone encouraged those mothers to consider adoption.

In your situation, I would encourage my own DD to really pray about adoption as the best option.

Raising a child is HARD. VERY HARD, yes they are blessings, but I know I could not do it without my husband there. Could I do it if I had to, yes, but THANK THE LORD I don’t have to.

Please look openly at ALL your options and pray fully for guidance. You are in my prayers.

 

[kage_ar]

Let’s see, we have an immature young person who is unable to control themselves with alcohol, has friends who encourage and participate in drunkenness, cannot control their sexual urges, has a best friend who claims to be homosexual yet will take advantage of a female friend who is so blind falling down drunk she does not know what she is doing… yeah, let’s add raising a child to this soap opera.

This child DESERVES a stable, practicing Catholic, loving married couple and to be brought up as part of this family.

When the OP grows up, learns to choose her friends wisely, learns to control her passions, battles her drinking problem - then finds a good Catholic man to marry, she will start a family and understand how placing her first child for adoption was the most loving and responsible thing she did up til that point in her life.

 

[sanctamaria17]

I think that was a little harsh.

You don’t think they learned from that mistake? I think waking up next to a guy without even remembering is ENOUGH learning, without even the pregnancy.

You don’t think they can repent and change their lives? Ouch.

She is a practicing Catholic, she messed up and she knows it. He wants to be a good man, a good father, he also messed up. He also knows that.

And one bad incident with alcohol is hardly a drinking problem. Like I said, I think she learned.

She wants to make it right. If she herself can change and provide for her child, why does she need to choose adoption, if it’s not right for her? Another poster mentioned bad choices in men and an unwed pregnancy, yet she’s doing all she can to raise her son herself and change her behavior.

She made one bad sexual mistake from one mistake with alcohol. This is someone who knows she sinned in a big way, and learned the hard way once. That doesn’t make her a sex addict or alcoholic. It means that she had a night where she did stupid things (everyone does)…does not mean she didn’t learn from them.

And the OP is a Catholic, her friend is converting. They never claimed to be perfect and are trying to figure out what is best for their baby. Hardly a couple who’s immature. On the contrary, I see some maturity coming out of this.

 

[tafan]

I think that was a little harsh.

You don’t think they learned from that mistake? I think waking up next to a guy without even remembering is ENOUGH learning, without even the pregnancy.

You don’t think they can repent and change their lives? Ouch.

She is a practicing Catholic, she messed up and she knows it. He wants to be a good man, a good father, he also messed up. He also knows that.
.

I will take kage_ar’s side in this. Did they learn from the mistake? Probably. But people don’t mature overnight from any event. It takes time. kage_ar did not say that they can’t repent and change their lives, but conversion is a life-long process. Most people don’t make sudden jumps forward along the way. It takes time and from the event that caused the pregnancy, it is fair to say the OP is very possibly not far enough along the way to take on the responsibility of raising a child. I would point out that drinking enough to totally forget what happened is a MAJOR binge.
On top of it, the boy in question does have some major issues that will take time to work out. There is no reason to subject the child to this when there are lots of good, stable families waiting to adopt.

It is a good thing that the OP is trying to figure out how to deal with this the correct, I cannot imagine anyone not recommending putting the child up for adoption in this scenario.

 

[sanctamaria17]

But it’s HER baby. She needs to decide for herself what to do with this situation. If she can get the means to support her child and they talk to a priest, there’s no reason to. There are single parents who’ve made mistakes who become outstanding ones.

And it’s a one time incident. People make mistakes.

Adoption is not always the best choice for situations like this. Maybe she’ll come to the conclusion that it is. But a couple that’s willing to change their ways and make a plan for their baby sounds like one that is maturing.

Binge drinking is more common. But it was one night. Many of us had those nights where we drank too much and our society loses sense of temperance. She gave into the ways of the world ONCE. Apparently, that’s all she needed to learn.

Besides, from the sound of her posts, it doesn’t sound like she’s drinking when she’s pregnant. And having something like that happen to you usually makes girls wary of drinking again. At least plenty of the ones I know and not all of them are Catholic.

 

[StJudePray4Me]

I want to recommend that you NOT place this child for adoption.

The father wants and is able to parent his child. YOU want and are able to parent your child. Your child has TWO PARENTS who both WANT to parent him/her and are ABLE to parent him/her.

Your circumstances will undoubtedly be difficult as your work through the logistics of this situation. But you know what? Everybody’s circumstances are difficult! Adoption will only add unnecessary emotional difficulties for you, the father AND the baby.

Everyone is so quick to push adoption, without TRULY comprehending that adoption complicates things-- it doesnt simplify them!

For example:

1. will your adoption be open or closed?
2. with the adoptive parents be open to ongoing contact?
3. will the adoptive parents raise your child in the Catholic faith? Or will they decide to switch faiths six months from now with out telling you?
4. can you live for the REST OF YOUR LIFE wihtout the child you are currently carrying?

Adoption is not a quick and easy solution to a diffcult problem. I’ts a PERMANENT solution to waht MAY be TEMPORARILY difficult circumstances!

If two parents WANT their child, LOVE their child, are ABLE TO PARENT their child (emotionally, financially, spiritually), THEY SHOULD PARENT THEIR CHILD!

Dont let people pressure you into choosing adoption when it is unnecessary. People who pressure you into that are usually the people who have ZERO firsthand experience with adoption (and no, if your neighbors cousins daughter was adopted, that does NOT QUALIFY). Ask an adoptee, a woman who has relinquished, or an adoptive parent-- heck, as a LOT OF THEM so you have a good sample size-- and THEN consider adoption if you think you can live with everything they have to say.

(NotaBene-- I am an adoptive mom. Married to an adult adoptee. I am NOT against adoption! Adoption can be wonderful! But no matter how wonderful is CAN be, it is sometimes horrific, heartbreaking, and NOT in the best interest of the adoptee OR the woman relinquishing!

What I am against is people saying “oh youre not married? dont think youre going to be married anytime soon? Better ‘give your baby away’! That’s the only loving thing to do!” Baloney.)

(Second Nota Bene-- “give your baby up for adoption” is so horrifically offensive and insensitive. You very rarely hear people involved in adoption use this phrase. It turns my stomach, although I realize most people who use it dont realize that they are comparing a human life to smoking habit. You dont “give up” a baby. You PLACE a baby. You FIND PARENTS for a baby. You RELINQUISH your baby to other parents. I hate political correctness as much as the next person, but honestly, this phrase cuts to the quick in most adoptees I’ve encountered, and people dont realize how hurtful it is).

Just for the record, I suggested the OP pray about adoption. I am an adult, who was adopted at birth. My birth mother was 16. I think I have a right to bring up the subject. I am sure my bio mother loved me, but I sure am glad that I was raised by 2 grown-ups, who have a strong marriage based on love, and who could emotionally, physically & financially take care of me.

It’s not impossible that the OP and her gay friend could raise the baby well and love him or her, but I also think they are young and confused and should at least CONSIDER the option of adoption.

And again, for the record, I am personally not offended by the phrase “gave baby up for adoption.” As I see itl, my bio mother did have to give something up, she had to make a sacrifice, a difficult surrender. She did it not to hurt me but to help me.

 

[yellowdaisy]

sigh

I grow weary of trying to explain to people why coercing a young girl to place for adoption is just plain UGLY and UNETHICAL.

I have very little fight left in me about adoption. Infant adoption in the United States is a broken system.

I hope that what I said DID resound strongly with a lot of people. I hope people will think more before they speak-- and truly understand the ramifications of their actions!

it is so easy to sit on the internet and say “Adoption is the best option here”. Becuase you know waht? YOU ARENT LIVING WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!

My duaghter’s natural mother is BROKEN. Her spirit will NEVER be the same. Several of my very best friends, who I met through an adoption support group, are also “birthmothers”. They dont even know if their children are sitll ALIVE, because adoption agencies and adoptive parents LIED to them-- literally, legally, LIED. “Yes, we’ll send you letters and photos. OH wait, now that we’ve finalized, and we dont need you any more, we’re not going ot do that anymore.”

Do you knwo how many people have committed suicide becuase they’ve been pressured into placing children for adoption when it was unnecessary to do so?!

Do you know how many adult adoptees out there have had their own biology STOLEN from them by this system?

Do you know my daughter’s birth certificate says that I GAVE BIRTH TO HER?! That her origional was destroyed and there is literally NO RECORD of the truth?! Her decendents will look her up and think that she’s Scottish, because I am. She’s not scottish. Neither is she Native American like my husband. She’s Irish, and she has her OWN heritage that has been erased from record

People who so easily recommend adoption to someone have a Lifetime Movie Of Th Week concept of what it really means. They’ve never explained to a child why she was placed. Or why she doesnt look like her family. They’ve never PARTED with their own flesh and blood (for the most part-- I see one previous poster has)-- gone home from the hospital only to have the milk come in and no baby to nurse. They’ve never wondered what happened to their parents-- were they a product of rape-- were they a ‘mistake’ easily disposed of. Lots of adult adoptees DO struggle with these issues every day!

I wish, as a community, we would stop seeing ADOPTION as a band-aid for SINGLE MOTHERHOOD. Honestly? Most people need to get a clue. ADOPTION IS HARD. It is HARD on all three parties involved! Hard for the child, hard for the parents and hard for the birthparetns.

If you dont think adoption is hard on an infnat, it’s becuase you’ve never taken one home from the hospital. Infants know their mother’s smell-- they know they arent getting breastmilk. They know that they are looking for a person who is ABSENT. Theres a book called The Primal Wound-- read it.

Adoption DOES NOT simplify things. In many cases, it is the best solution. But in many cases, it literally destroys people.

Adoption is not the answer to every unmarried pregnant woman. Until we wise up and start supporting pregnant women in productive ways, we will continue to have broken families, and broken spirits.

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

Let’s see, we have an immature young person who is unable to control themselves with alcohol, has friends who encourage and participate in drunkenness, cannot control their sexual urges, has a best friend who claims to be homosexual yet will take advantage of a female friend who is so blind falling down drunk she does not know what she is doing… yeah, let’s add raising a child to this soap opera.

This child DESERVES a stable, practicing Catholic, loving married couple and to be brought up as part of this family.

When the OP grows up, learns to choose her friends wisely, learns to control her passions, battles her drinking problem - then finds a good Catholic man to marry, she will start a family and understand how placing her first child for adoption was the most loving and responsible thing she did up til that point in her life.

This is an extremely unfair judgment of the OP. She made a mistake. It happens to all of us. Just because one person’s mistakes are different, it doesn’t make them better. One night of over indulgence doesn’t constitute a “drinking problem”. I was raised by someone with a “drinking problem” and to equate one night of heavy drinking someone with an honest-to-god problem is incredibly inappropriate. It’s not fair to those who really honestly struggle, and it’s REALLY not fair to the OP. Although I can see how making the OP out to be an alcoholic who sleeps around bolsters your case for adoption, it’s a horrible thing to do to her to make your point.

As for the statement some of your found offensive. I apologize that it offended you. I know too many classmates who found out they were adopted and I have had times where I stayed up with them telling them that their birth mother just knew that someone else would be able to take care of them better. They WERE asking themselves how their mother could give them away like that. They had problems with self-esteem. Sure, this may not happen to everyone, but it can happen. Is it worth the risk, when the original circumstance isn’t something severe?

I know far too many other instances of people who had a child out of wedlock, later got married, and now the child is in a stable home with their real parents.

Yes, there are cases where adoption is the best option. Something like this situation is not it. The mom isn’t an abusive alcoholic that goes from guy to guy. She’s a young woman who made a one time mistake. Children need their mother, and to deprive a child of that better have a darn good reason behind it. A REAL reason.

 

[kage_ar]

Some of us have been working in the pro life movement longer than many posters here have been ALIVE. We well know what the adoption process is like and the effects it has on those involved.

I stick by what I have said, with the picture painted by the single post on this topic by the OP says that adoption would be wise.

 

[sanctamaria17]

You may have seen situations, but you don’t know the OP and what you know of her situation is what she told us on the Internet.

You already classified her as having a “drinking problem” for getting blitzed ONCE. For some of us, it only needs to happen ONCE. It’s not necessarily a habit (and, while I may be young, yes, I have seen many people for whom it does happen only once).

You classified her as being unable to control herself sexually for ONE incident where she made a mistake.

ONE mistake doesn’t mean she should have to be coerced into making a choice not her own. Not only will it affect her now, it could affect her as a parent later in life. SHE needs to PRAYERFULLY come to her OWN conclusions. Not every young single mother is a terrible parent.

The fact that her friend looking for a house and job to provide for his child and the child’s mother, as well as coming to terms about it with God, shows a great sign of maturity. The fact that she’s also trying is another sign.

I love how we shame young people on this board and pull the "they’re immature and stupid"card. The truth is, many young people are smart, they do care, they do think about things, and they admit when they’re wrong. Just because other college aged young adults are partying all the time does NOT mean others do. Some don’t at all. Some do it once and realize it was wrong. That’s between them and God.

And yes, it is possible to become independent while you’re still in school. I almost had to drop out due to the economy. Instead, I got myself a job and an apartment. I go to school full time, I work part time, pay my own rent, groceries and utilities, and I pay my own bills. I’m not that much older than the OP. And yes, I did drink too much once and, while I didn’t sleep with someone, I almost put myself in a bad situation and I got horribly sick. Yet, contrary to your belief, I didn’t end up with a drinking problem. It served as a warning for me to never binge drink again.

Yes, it will be difficult either way. It was difficult for her once when she realized what happened to her. It was difficult when she took the test and realized it was positive. However, the fact that she’s thinking, praying, asking for help and realizing things shows that she’s not just an immature teen without a care in the world. That shows a humble, striving, young woman who is trying to do right by God, her child, herself, and her child’s daddy. The fact that the young man in question is doing likewise also shows us something positive about his character.

OP, I’m not telling you to keep your baby or adopt. I commend you, however, for giving your baby life and for trying to work it all out. I pray that, whatever you do, you find the best option for both you and your little one and that someday, you find a loving husband

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

You may have seen situations, but you don’t know the OP and what you know of her situation is what she told us on the Internet.

You already classified her as having a “drinking problem” for getting blitzed ONCE. For some of us, it only needs to happen ONCE. It’s not necessarily a habit (and, while I may be young, yes, I have seen many people for whom it does happen only once).

You classified her as being unable to control herself sexually for ONE incident where she made a mistake.

ONE mistake doesn’t mean she should have to be coerced into making a choice not her own. Not only will it affect her now, it could affect her as a parent later in life. SHE needs to PRAYERFULLY come to her OWN conclusions. Not every young single mother is a terrible parent.

The fact that her friend looking for a house and job to provide for his child and the child’s mother, as well as coming to terms about it with God, shows a great sign of maturity. The fact that she’s also trying is another sign.

I love how we shame young people on this board and pull the "they’re immature and stupid"card. The truth is, many young people are smart, they do care, they do think about things, and they admit when they’re wrong. Just because other college aged young adults are partying all the time does NOT mean others do. Some don’t at all. Some do it once and realize it was wrong. That’s between them and God.

And yes, it is possible to become independent while you’re still in school. I almost had to drop out due to the economy. Instead, I got myself a job and an apartment. I go to school full time, I work part time, pay my own rent, groceries and utilities, and I pay my own bills. I’m not that much older than the OP. And yes, I did drink too much once and, while I didn’t sleep with someone, I almost put myself in a bad situation and I got horribly sick. Yet, contrary to your belief, I didn’t end up with a drinking problem. It served as a warning for me to never binge drink again.

Yes, it will be difficult either way. It was difficult for her once when she realized what happened to her. It was difficult when she took the test and realized it was positive. However, the fact that she’s thinking, praying, asking for help and realizing things shows that she’s not just an immature teen without a care in the world. That shows a humble, striving, young woman who is trying to do right by God, her child, herself, and her child’s daddy. The fact that the young man in question is doing likewise also shows us something positive about his character.

OP, I’m not telling you to keep your baby or adopt. I commend you, however, for giving your baby life and for trying to work it all out. I pray that, whatever you do, you find the best option for both you and your little one and that someday, you find a loving husband

VERY well said! :clapping:

 

[mesurman]

My friend and I have been put into quite a situation. We went out with a bunch of our friends over a month ago, and both of us had way too much to drink. I don’t remember most of what happen that night, but I do remember waking up in bed with my friend. Both of us were completely horrified, and neither of us knows how we managed to get that drunk or how we ended up in his dorm, let alone his bed. Most of our friends had gotten pretty drunk too, so we just don’t know what happened.

Regardless, I just found out I’m pregnant. I know it’s his baby, because I was a virgin before that night, and he’s not denying that it’s his. The problem really isn’t the baby, I’m a pretty devout Catholic (I know this isn’t making me sound like one), and he is converting to Catholicism, so there is no question that I’m going to have the baby.

The problem is there are a lot of little issues. The most pressing is that my friend happens to be gay. This pretty much negates us being able to get married, but he still really wants us to try and raise our baby together, even if it means living like brother and sister. I’m not sure how we could possibly make that work. He’s coping with understanding that as a gay Catholic he has to be celibate, but for me, I want to marry. I just think it would be very awkward for our child growing up in a household like that, especially since we’re both very young I’m 19 and he’s 21. I’ve considered allowing my parents to adopt our baby, but he really wants us to raise the baby. He’s really taken charge the last couple of days, he’s already looking for either a better job or at least a second job until he finishes his degree, and an apartment near our university. He tells me not to worry, that we can do this, and that he’ll take care of everything. I’m skeptical, I want to do right by my baby. I’m wondering what would be the proper thing to do in this situation, our baby would call us Mom and Dad, but we’d live like brother and sister…

Is this for real? If it is I will pray for you. but I will tell you this being a single mom is tough, just ask my daughter, life stinks for her right now. God Bless!

 

[Rage]

Hello. I’m not technically Rage, I’m the father of her baby. She’s doing okay, having a little bit of morning sickness, and going to class is wearing her out. She’s asleep as I type this. We also went to the doctor today, who thinks that conception definitely occurred around “the night” as Rage calls it, and put her at just shy of 7 weeks.

I don’t really want to defend my orientation, and don’t want Rage to have to either, so we’re both ignoring those comments. She’s more open to adoption then I am, and she likes the idea of praying about it. I am open to her decisions though, and if she feels adoption is best, I will be behind her. She’s seen our priest and I have not, I’m a bit afraid because of my upcoming acceptance into the Church. We’re suppose to see him together soon.

Rage hasn’t read Kage_ar’s post yet, so I’m not sure if she’ll have anything else to say about it. I know I feel the need to defend her. “The night” was not her fault. She doesn’t drink very often, and we were doing some serious shots. Whatever was in them was enough to get me seriously wasted, and I’m pretty good with holding my own, so you can imagine what they did to Rage. I know she had at least 2 but I remember very little past my 3rd or 4th shot, and Rage remembers nothing after we got to the party that night.

 

[kage_ar]

A good friend would not take a friend and get them plowed. Be a good friend, don’t get your friends wasted!