I'm really starting to question my faith

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Thank you all for your prayers. They helped! 🙂

I still feel horrible, but:
  1. I have an appointment with the Deacon tomorrow. :bounce: He even offered to pick me up and take me to the Church (since I don’t have a car during most days and since I worry falling asleep at the wheel lately.) :love:
  2. I have a follow up with my doctor Saturday for my depression.
  3. As another poster reminded me, my adrenal gland malfunctioning is probably exasperating my symptoms. I probably need to call that doctor too and tell him the medicine hasn’t kicked in yet, and if that’s normal.
This is all excellent.
 
I am dumbfounded by all this. OK, I’m a lot younger than the rest of you, and no, I have no idea what the backstory of all this is–some of you seem to know each other and each other’s previous posts and history. And I’m coming into this fresh. But maybe that’s a good thing.

Here are the highlights I’ve read so far:

"Ok I’ve committed a list of sins a mile long, I get it why I’m being beat up on.

And through your nephew’s sacrifice other souls will be saved.

God does not permit evil, except to draw a greater good from it.

But the difference is it [nephew’s suffering] will no longer have a purpose. At all.

Instead he’s deepening everyone to their raw capacity. He’s pushing for the deepest wells possible.

Because only that way [our suffering] can He really even get close to connecting with us.

He allows you to overburden yourself with sin - and it clearly shows.

I don’t know for sure if I’m just still being punished for those serious sins of my past, or is God mad about something in the present?

I very much believe we are punished for sins. Both here and in the next life.

You are important and special and an extremely critical part of God’s plan.

Yes He does punish. It clearly says so in both the old and new testaments."

What on earth have I stumbled into? Whatever you people are talking about, it has no relation to the Catholic Church I know. You all seem to be discussing some sci fi evil God who “tests” people with torture to their breaking point, then punishes them if they break. Where did this come from? Not the New Testament. Some of the statements sound like something an abusive husband would say to his abused wife. I don’t see any point in saying anything else. Just to an outsider this all seems very bizarre.
Glad you took the time to read the whole thread. And sort of interested in your mash-up. I mean have you ever thought of being a DJ? Sort of got a bit of each refrain tucked away in that steady beat.

But now you’re the authority on all things Catholic? Just as you stumble over to the Islamic side of the field? What exactly is your point if you don’t mind a direct ask?

I mean any mix of advice put into a paragraph will be a bit nutty. And it won’t be getting any better just because you end it with a little sum-up that adds letters and numbers together.

Is God abusive for being bigger than we are? Is He abusive because He can take pain and turn it into love? And real purpose?

Or does God have to be a fairy-godmother? Does God have to swing around the planet and play nice with us until kingdom come?

And if so? How is Allah coming along in that department? I mean speaking of abusive relationships. How are his many wonderfully peaceful disciples making out? How are their wives enjoying the view through their eye slits? :rolleyes:

Sorry man. But don’t do this drive-by in this thread. Pick a new one. We can make friends there instead.
 
But now you’re the authority on all things Catholic? Just as you stumble over to the Islamic side of the field? What exactly is your point if you don’t mind a direct ask?

Is God abusive for being bigger than we are? Is He abusive because He can take pain and turn it into love? And real purpose?
Fair enough. I have categorized myself as “former” Catholic because of the child abuse mess. No point in discussing that here. I am “investigating” Islam. That doesn’t mean I’m converting. I’m studying it. And yes, it has a lot more problems than just child abuse. But in terms of doctrine and belief, I am Catholic. I wouldn’t say I am an authority, but I have had two years of theology at university and have read extensively–both Catholic and Protestant theologians. When I have a question, I go back to the catechism or Vatican II documents. They are always very logical and filled with common sense. I have yet to find anything I disagree with. It all makes sense to me, and it always has made sense.

My point is that although I completely agree that different people in the same religion can have individual interpretations of a lot of things, what I have seen on this thread seems to go beyond the optional and into the basic core of Catholicism. I guess I am horrified to see that there are a lot of people out there who perceive God in a completely different way than I do. This wouldn’t bother me if we were supposedly believers in different religions, but theoretically at least we are all Catholics. Maybe I’m naive. And of course in the normal course of events I would just say “This is none of my business” and I would bite my tongue. But unless I am very much mistaken, the purpose of these forums is to discuss issues like this. If we all minded our own business, there would be no forums.

To me a God who is an accountant keeping track of sins, who punishes people both on earth and in eternity for trivial sins, who seems to take pleasure in torturing people to their breaking point, etc. etc. is not the God I am familiar with from the Gospels, the catechism, or Vatican II documents.

God wants us to be happy. God forgives. And yes, God even waives punishment–with indulgences, and even plenary indulgences that take away all punishment. And whatever happened to the concept that you can’t commit a mortal sin without full agreement of your will? How free are any of us–we all have genetic predispositions, habits that are hard to break, situations we find ourselves in, etc. etc. I think it would be very difficult (not impossible, but difficult) indeed to give “free” agreement of your will to a major sin. Even secular courts look at the big picture before sentencing–what was the background of the person? Have they committed other crimes? Are they sorry? Are they likely to commit the same crime again? Etc. If secular courts take all this into account, surely an all-knowing and all-powerful God would take everything into account on a much bigger scale.

Let me give an example: drunkenness. Yes, I drink occasionally, and I’ve even gotten drunk on a couple occasions. But I have no interest in drinking every day or even every week, or in getting drunk. It just doesn’t appeal to me, and there is no temptation. But contrast that to an alcoholic, who, for whatever reasons (genetic, family example, despair, etc. etc.) finds it almost impossible to resist alcohol. So both of us get drunk. Does God see only the crime and ignore the person? Absolutely not. The alcoholic had very little–if any–control over his actions. But I–since I am indifferent to alcohol–have made a very free decision to get drunk. And even then you could certainly make a case that even I was not free, since the process of getting drunk is a gradual one, and at the beginning of the night you don’t say “Right, tonight I’m getting drunk,” you just have one drink, and that erodes your ability to say no to the 2nd drink, etc. So are both of us “guilty” of getting drunk? Sure. But I am much more guilty than an alcoholic, and God would judge us accordingly.

To go back to the original poster, I am familiar only in a theoretical way with OCD, so it’s hard, if not impossible, for me to put myself in his place. But surely someone who reflects on religion to that extent and has expressed sorrow for past sins is not the type of person God wants to punish in the ways discussed in this thread. And the idea of some type of “redemptive suffering” that somehow glorifies my own suffering and allows my suffering to somehow “help” someone else is beyond my understanding. I can see where my own suffering might be beneficial to myself in some spiritual sense, but not to others. And of course any theory must be able to withstand the extreme examples: why would a newborn baby suffer, for example.
 
Glad you took the time to read the whole thread. And sort of interested in your mash-up. I mean have you ever thought of being a DJ? Sort of got a bit of each refrain tucked away in that steady beat.

But now you’re the authority on all things Catholic? Just as you stumble over to the Islamic side of the field? What exactly is your point if you don’t mind a direct ask?

I mean any mix of advice put into a paragraph will be a bit nutty. And it won’t be getting any better just because you end it with a little sum-up that adds letters and numbers together.

Is God abusive for being bigger than we are? Is He abusive because He can take pain and turn it into love? And real purpose?

Or does God have to be a fairy-godmother? Does God have to swing around the planet and play nice with us until kingdom come?

And if so? How is Allah coming along in that department? I mean speaking of abusive relationships. How are his many wonderfully peaceful disciples making out? How are their wives enjoying the view through their eye slits? :rolleyes:

Sorry man. But don’t do this drive-by in this thread. Pick a new one. We can make friends there instead.
:clapping::clapping::clapping:
 
Fair enough. I have categorized myself as “former” Catholic because of the child abuse mess. No point in discussing that here. I am “investigating” Islam. That doesn’t mean I’m converting. I’m studying it. And yes, it has a lot more problems than just child abuse. But in terms of doctrine and belief, I am Catholic.
Man. I’m studying glass-cutting. But I don’t put it up there next to my religion. Usually a guy who is studying something is just taking a passing interest in it. Once you nudge your religion out of the way and mention you’re on the track of another one you’ve basically waved some kind of flag that you’re on the move. Otherwise why say it?

As for child abuse? I guess you’d better not stick your head too far into Islam then. The very founder of that religion was a pedophile. So you’re sort of being a bit strange with your tangent here. And you’re also being a bit strange in general really. I mean side-stepping a whole religion because of actions of some people inside it is pretty weird when you add on your view of God as being all wholesome goodness without creases. If you believe that why are you letting a handful (and it really is a handful) of screw-ups take your faith in Him away? Or are you just pouting?

Sort of odd really.
I wouldn’t say I am an authority,
Well at least we agree on something.
but I have had two years of theology at university and have read extensively–both Catholic and Protestant theologians. When I have a question, I go back to the catechism or Vatican II documents. They are always very logical and filled with common sense. I have yet to find anything I disagree with. It all makes sense to me, and it always has made sense.
Which is why you’re on the trail of Islam. Got it.
My point is that although I completely agree that different people in the same religion can have individual interpretations of a lot of things, what I have seen on this thread seems to go beyond the optional and into the basic core of Catholicism. I guess I am horrified to see that there are a lot of people out there who perceive God in a completely different way than I do.

This wouldn’t bother me if we were supposedly believers in different religions,
Well. Aren’t you a bit on an off-side player at the moment calling the ref because someone else might be guilty of a bit of shoving? I mean if you’re horrified that people have different opinions can we be horrified that your different opinion has drifted you into poking around in a whole different religion? I really don’t know what you’re reaching for here.
but theoretically at least we are all Catholics. Maybe I’m naive. And of course in the normal course of events I would just say “This is none of my business” and I would bite my tongue. But unless I am very much mistaken, the purpose of these forums is to discuss issues like this. If we all minded our own business, there would be no forums.
I agree. I agree. And I agree. I’ll let you pick with what. The main thing though is that it’s one thing to have an opinion. But the funny thing I see here is your opinion is that God is so good that no try to help the OP is good enough. Then you come along and undo all advice while not giving any positives of your own. After sitting in the seat of judgment you then move on to reminding us that you have more schooling than most of us. That you’ve got so much insight it’s brought you clean out of your own religion and into another one. It’s cool. We get it. You’re so Catholic you’re truly universal.
To me a God who is an accountant keeping track of sins, who punishes people both on earth and in eternity for trivial sins, who seems to take pleasure in torturing people to their breaking point, etc. etc. is not the God I am familiar with from the Gospels, the catechism, or Vatican II documents.
Well no wonder you’re confused. Your interpret-o-meter is broken. Paraphrasing snippets from a dozen posters and coming up with that kind of paragraph must have taken a lot of work. But you didn’t have to bother. You could have just read what was actually written and commented on that instead. It would’ve saved time.
God wants us to be happy. God forgives.
So do you forgive? If so, why are you Islam-gazing?
And yes, God even waives punishment–with indulgences, and even plenary indulgences that take away all punishment.
So. Those child molesters we weren’t talking about. Is it cool if they grabbed themselves a bit of those indulgences? Got the slate all clean? No consequences? Or do you think maybe a jail term here on earth might be something God would allow as a temporal nudge? Just curious.

Because I’ll tell you what. While I agree God can forgive whatever He wants. Whenever He wants. He never erases consequences. So you and I (and the vast majority of posters) agree the OP is not bringing this on due to something deserved. But where we split company is in imagining nothing fundamentally matters.

A guy can forgive the thief. And the thief can be let out of going to prison. But at the end of the day the stereo’s still missing. :rolleyes:
 
And whatever happened to the concept that you can’t commit a mortal sin without full agreement of your will? How free are any of us–we all have genetic predispositions, habits that are hard to break, situations we find ourselves in, etc. etc. I think it would be very difficult (not impossible, but difficult) indeed to give “free” agreement of your will to a major sin. Even secular courts look at the big picture before sentencing–what was the background of the person? Have they committed other crimes? Are they sorry? Are they likely to commit the same crime again? Etc. If secular courts take all this into account, surely an all-knowing and all-powerful God would take everything into account on a much bigger scale.
I’m not sure where you’re going with this. I don’t think any (and certainly not many) were telling the OP they deserved to suffer. I think a lot of this was explaining why suffering can be allowed to happen even to good people. So you’re sort of running backwards around the track here.
Let me give an example: drunkenness. Yes, I drink occasionally, and I’ve even gotten drunk on a couple occasions. But I have no interest in drinking every day or even every week, or in getting drunk. It just doesn’t appeal to me, and there is no temptation. But contrast that to an alcoholic, who, for whatever reasons (genetic, family example, despair, etc. etc.) finds it almost impossible to resist alcohol. So both of us get drunk. Does God see only the crime and ignore the person? Absolutely not. The alcoholic had very little–if any–control over his actions. But I–since I am indifferent to alcohol–have made a very free decision to get drunk. And even then you could certainly make a case that even I was not free, since the process of getting drunk is a gradual one, and at the beginning of the night you don’t say “Right, tonight I’m getting drunk,” you just have one drink, and that erodes your ability to say no to the 2nd drink, etc. So are both of us “guilty” of getting drunk? Sure. But I am much more guilty than an alcoholic, and God would judge us accordingly.
Here’s where you and I step apart and I stare at you really hard. I think you’re wrong. I think you getting drunk is less of a problem. Because you might be ready to give a day to your drunkenness. But an alcoholic will swing his whole life that way. I mean telling me that just because something’s harder for someone means they get a bit of a pass? Take that idea back to the child-sex-abuse stuff. Obviously those guys have a weakness. So they aren’t as guilty? Nah. I’d say they are doubly guilty. For knowing they have a weakness and not stepping up to dodge away from all that brings them into it. As an alcoholic there’s no way it’s helpful for me to hear that my sins of throwing away my family and everything else are any less hurtful than when anyone else does it.
To go back to the original poster, I am familiar only in a theoretical way with OCD, so it’s hard, if not impossible, for me to put myself in his place. But surely someone who reflects on religion to that extent and has expressed sorrow for past sins is not the type of person God wants to punish in the ways discussed in this thread. And the idea of some type of “redemptive suffering” that somehow glorifies my own suffering and allows my suffering to somehow “help” someone else is beyond my understanding. I can see where my own suffering might be beneficial to myself in some spiritual sense, but not to others. And of course any theory must be able to withstand the extreme examples: why would a newborn baby suffer, for example.
So your answer is that her nephew’s suffering for his own benefit only? A newborn baby is suffering for its own uplift?

Then Jesus’ suffering on the cross was just for His own interior needs?

I mean have you never heard of offering up your suffering for the souls in purgatory? Have you never tried to get a plenary indulgence for one of them? Since when would it make sense that a God of selfless love would make it so that we couldn’t share our suffering to help each other out? Why not?

For someone more Catholic than the pope you seem to have missed out on lot of catechism. :rolleyes:

So while I get that you’re trying to be a bit of a nice guy here. You’re sort of like the waiter clearing away the food before people are finished eating. I mean you’ve taken away dirty dishes along with good food and left nothing in its place. Buddy. I sense in you a real bit of heart. I figure you’re really meaning well. But understand why I’ve got to prod you in all of this. Understand why I’m not really patting you on the back for erasing the chalk board. Before all of us were finished taking notes.

So if you want to dispute a thing or two here then how about starting with a single poster and calling them out on what they actually said. One on one.

Or how about we talk together about the purposes of suffering and how it can change others? Through our unflinching willingness to take on pain and stand strong? Or how we can face down hurt in a better way by knowing it serves a universal purpose? To know that a measure of pain is not the worst thing possible, but instead sometimes a doorway into deeper truths. That true joy needs an understanding of sorrow to be possible.

That real peace comes from knowing nothing is in vain. That pain is not our enemy. That usually it is the following of pleasure for its own sake that brings us closer to ruin than living a life of hurt. It’s when the flight from pain becomes the focus that you get your alcoholics and drug abusers into a room. Sometimes in fleeing pain we hurt ourselves more. Sometimes it’s how we end up hurting everyone.

Peace.

-Trident
 
I’m not sure where you’re going with this. I don’t think any (and certainly not many) were telling the OP they deserved to suffer. I think a lot of this was explaining why suffering can be allowed to happen even to good people. So you’re sort of running backwards around the track here.

Here’s where you and I step apart and I stare at you really hard. I think you’re wrong. I think you getting drunk is less of a problem. Because you might be ready to give a day to your drunkenness. But an alcoholic will swing his whole life that way. I mean telling me that just because something’s harder for someone means they get a bit of a pass? Take that idea back to the child-sex-abuse stuff. Obviously those guys have a weakness. So they aren’t as guilty? Nah. I’d say they are doubly guilty. For knowing they have a weakness and not stepping up to dodge away from all that brings them into it. As an alcoholic there’s no way it’s helpful for me to hear that my sins of throwing away my family and everything else are any less hurtful than when anyone else does it.

So your answer is that her nephew’s suffering for his own benefit only? A newborn baby is suffering for its own uplift?

Then Jesus’ suffering on the cross was just for His own interior needs?

I mean have you never heard of offering up your suffering for the souls in purgatory? Have you never tried to get a plenary indulgence for one of them? Since when would it make sense that a God of selfless love would make it so that we couldn’t share our suffering to help each other out? Why not?

For someone more Catholic than the pope you seem to have missed out on lot of catechism. :rolleyes:

So while I get that you’re trying to be a bit of a nice guy here. You’re sort of like the waiter clearing away the food before people are finished eating. I mean you’ve taken away dirty dishes along with good food and left nothing in its place. Buddy. I sense in you a real bit of heart. I figure you’re really meaning well. But understand why I’ve got to prod you in all of this. Understand why I’m not really patting you on the back for erasing the chalk board. Before all of us were finished taking notes.

So if you want to dispute a thing or two here then how about starting with a single poster and calling them out on what they actually said. One on one.

Or how about we talk together about the purposes of suffering and how it can change others? Through our unflinching willingness to take on pain and stand strong? Or how we can face down hurt in a better way by knowing it serves a universal purpose? To know that a measure of pain is not the worst thing possible, but instead sometimes a doorway into deeper truths. That true joy needs an understanding of sorrow to be possible.

That real peace comes from knowing nothing is in vain. That pain is not our enemy. That usually it is the following of pleasure for its own sake that brings us closer to ruin than living a life of hurt. It’s when the flight from pain becomes the focus that you get your alcoholics and drug abusers into a room. Sometimes in fleeing pain we hurt ourselves more. Sometimes it’s how we end up hurting everyone.

Peace.

-Trident
Excellent posting Trident.
 
Ok so I didn’t get to meet with the Deacon today. Was too sick. 😦 But I did get a hold of my doctor and they are going to raise my medicine for my low cortisol levels. So pray that this dose actually starts to work!

Still have the psychiatrist apt Saturday. Will discuss increased depression.

So today didn’t go as planned, but it certainly wasn’t for naught! 😉
 
Ok so I didn’t get to meet with the Deacon today. Was too sick. 😦 But I did get a hold of my doctor and they are going to raise my medicine for my low cortisol levels. So pray that this dose actually starts to work!

Still have the psychiatrist apt Saturday. Will discuss increased depression.

So today didn’t go as planned, but it certainly wasn’t for naught! 😉
The old saying two out of three ain’t bad comes to mind. It is disappointing about the deacon though. I feel like your spiritual health is primary here.
 
The old saying two out of three ain’t bad comes to mind. It is disappointing about the deacon though. I feel like your spiritual health is primary here.
Yeah. I know. Maybe I can schedule a time to talk to him on the phone or email. I think that’s what I’ll do. 👍
 
Do talk to him at a level of the mind.
I think from your posts that there is a language barrier or other issue preventing you from posting coherently. Perhaps you could try to fix that.
 
Hey! My thread ressurected. Not sure why, but thank you for bumping it up and the continued prayers. :hug1:

Faith is still shaky in all this. I totally believe in God, it’s the relationship I’m having troubles with. I keep trying though.

So my latest update is that they upped my hydrocortisone, since the starting dose did nothing, and Praise God it has given me a little more energy! 🙂 But I started retaining water and so now I’m on Lasix too. (Im a walking pharmacy!:o). We will see how this progresses with time. Prayers please!
 
Hey! My thread ressurected. Not sure why, but thank you for bumping it up and the continued prayers. :hug1:

Faith is still shaky in all this. I totally believe in God, it’s the relationship I’m having troubles with. I keep trying though.

So my latest update is that they upped my hydrocortisone, since the starting dose did nothing, and Praise God it has given me a little more energy! 🙂 But I started retaining water and so now I’m on Lasix too. (Im a walking pharmacy!:o). We will see how this progresses with time. Prayers please!
:gopray:
 
Hey! My thread ressurected. Not sure why, but thank you for bumping it up and the continued prayers. :hug1:

Faith is still shaky in all this. I totally believe in God, it’s the relationship I’m having troubles with. I keep trying though.

So my latest update is that they upped my hydrocortisone, since the starting dose did nothing, and Praise God it has given me a little more energy! 🙂 But I started retaining water and so now I’m on Lasix too. (Im a walking pharmacy!:o). We will see how this progresses with time. Prayers please!
Don’t force it. God is with you. Know this in your bones.
Don’t look for signs. BELIEVE that He is loving you for all eternity and has since before you were born.
Try peaceful music, soothing smoothies, (I’m not kidding) keep calm as you can. Sit outside and listen to the birds chirp.
Youa re in prayer chains all over the U.S. and the world, I imagine.
Let’s God handle it.
Sometmes we feel we have to orchestrate that relationship. Yu are a baptized chilod of the King.
Be at peace,
Love you,
moochas smoochas! (as our friend Gertabelle says:thumbsup: )
 
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