R
Robert_Sock
Guest
I fear this life!!! I’m retired with very limited income, and homelessness is a possibility. I actually want to die, and I often pray that my life would come to an end. The Hereafter amazing me to think about.I will begin by saying how scared I really am.
So I was watching the disney movie “frozen” with my friend, and I can’t find but got hooked on it because of how beautiful it is. I watched it for many times until one day I realized :
“gosh, that’s an amazing story, and I’d bet many people in real life also have story like these or better, parental love, sibling love or romantic love is so beautiful I wish they last forever for those who find them”.
my life goal is to dedicate my life for those who find happiness, or to help others to find happiness, I’m an engineer and my goal is to work in the bio-mechanical field such as medical devices or prosthetics. I graduated a year ago and although I am working in a unrelated field, I believe it is my stepping stone to my life goal.
anyways, what has always kept me going is my belief that there’s an afterlife, that all good things can last forever or something even better will kick in, but as a man of science, I must also admit the fact that there are more scientific evidences suggesting that human consciousnesses is just a process of the brain and “I” don’t really exist. And there are really little evidences that show that afterlife, or soul exist.
throughout my life I have always been nourished by the faith of a loving God, an afterlife, yet recently I just go into this deep depression and fear of the oblivious. If nothing will last, why bother fighting? why bothering studying so hard or working so hard to make lives better? to help others to find happiness when nothingness is inevitable?
I am afraid of not being, I feel depressed because all good things will come to an end and everything I have ever done will be in vain, never in my life have I truly understand the fear for death, it is not because of the pain that you may endure, nor the uncertainty of what lies ahead, but the oblivion that awaits me ahead and “I” will no longer be.
Does anyone ever feel the same way? like ever?
LOVE!
