I'm starting to believe NFP is sinful

[dixieagle]

I happen to agree with you 100% on this, but I don’t go there here on CAF because you will most probably be roasted alive for this opinion. But just know that you are NOT alone in thinking this - I know many very good and holy people who feel the very same way.

~Liza

They may be very good and, in your view, very holy; but they are also very mistaken and this is not what the Church teaches.

 

[dixieagle]

After reading 5 pages of responses, I think there a couple of things I need to address.

I’m not a protestant. I converted from protestantantism to Catholicism, but what disgusts me is to see how easily and readily Catholics will re-interpret teachings to suit their own minds. It bothers me to see how people don’t think stopping sex during fertile periods isn’t birth control, and birth control is sinful. We aren’t supposed to withhold ourselves from our spouses, or else what is the point in marrying?

I agree with lizzie in stating that the Church has never defined “grave” reasons. I keep hearing about these “grave reasons” yet no one can really define what they are! For all we know, grave reasons could be because couple A wants to travel the world first before having a child (heard that before) or because couple B want to get 2 master’s degrees (heard that before). I’ve heard even worse, and not a single reason was justifiable. Only in one instance in the past few years have I heard anything close. A friend of mine nearly died from organ failure, so she and her husband refrained during her healing.

Nowhere did I say women are supposed to be incubators and have endless amounts of children. Women didn’t even historically have endless amounts of children. Breastfeeding serves as a natural pregnancy-inhibitor and helped space births for women, and pregnancy served as a birthing spacer. For some reason people have this idea in their minds that if birth control isn’t used, a woman will have 10 kids automatically and always die. A lot of women nowadays can’t even get pregnant that easily, and the max I’ve seen is about 6 or so.

I wrote this question because I am feeling convicted about this topic…I am using NFP right now and as far as learning to track my cycle, it’s good. But using it to prevent pregnancies? It seems no better than the pill.

If you see NFP as no different from the pill you need to educate yourself. Here is a link to a good explanation of the difference:

catholiceducation.org/articles/sexuality/se0003.html

 

[mrs_ahs]

Kids clothes? Pfffffffft. Just cover them in Teflon (the stains just slide off) and duct tape. If you can afford clothes, you need to have more babies. Pass on the jeans, so you can pass on your genes. .

I’m being sarcastic. I’m a childless married woman using NFP to avoid (serious health reasons). And I get a ton of garbage from people because I don’t have kids yet.

LOL!! I might have to try that! I have considered using duct tape on them before.

 

[einna]

I happen to agree with you 100% on this, but I don’t go there here on CAF because you will most probably be roasted alive for this opinion. But just know that you are NOT alone in thinking this - I know many very good and holy people who feel the very same way.

~Liza

I think the bottom line for the OP and those who agree with her is that if they fill like it is a sin to practice NFP and practice it anyway, than it is a sin for them, and because it is not the Church’s belief God will easily forgive them; however, they should not condemn anyone else for practicing NFP.

 

[SusanneT]

I think the bottom line for the OP and those who agree with her is that if they fill like it is a sin to practice NFP and practice it anyway, than it is a sin for them, and because it is not the Church’s belief God will easily forgive them; however, they should not condemn anyone else for practicing NFP.

My understanding is that NFP is permissible if it is used for grave / serious reasons (a definition which essentially leaves it up to the conscience of the individual couple) and is not used with a “contraceptive mentality” - which I don’t really get but which I suppose means the couple remain mentally open to life - so if they do conceive that if fine the NFP has not “failed”.

I’m sure if you can do both of those it is not a sin - so good luck to you ! After all in a way how can it be a sin not to do something ? But (and I can only speak personally) I know we were using it (briefly) so that we could continue marital intimacy without me falling pregnant. We had a clear contraceptive mentality even if I’m sure we could justify our reasons. So for us I’m sure it was sinful.

Almost everything I read presents NFP as an effective moral alternative to contraception - no doubt with the well meaning intention of reducing ABC use. But the contraceptive intent is clear. If you chart accurately, learn your “symptoms” etc you can have sex 3 days out of 4 and be 98% “safe” !?!?

I’m sure if a couple with children use NFP to help keep their marriied relationship intact when the wife has strong medical reasons to avoid / delay pregnancy. That is in no way sinful - and to me that is what the Church means in accepting it. Otherwise I question whether using NFP is sinfull - just as the OP does.

There are lots of good reasons for discerning whether it is sensible, responsible etc to have more children. However if a couple deside to wait, avoid, delay for mutual reasons - they do have the option of abstinance. The whole point is that sex is supposed to be unative & (at least potentially) procreative as a default and although a couple using NFP can always say it is potentially procreative (not rendered sterile by ABC) I wonder whether for many couples that is what they have in mind !

There - my head above the parapet ! and I actually am a Protestant - so feel free to attack !

 

[Chiltepin]

I crossed the Tiber a few years ago and over the course of the years, have noticed that I am more traditional than the typical Catholic. It’s getting to the point where I’ve considered becoming Sedevacantist but I do not support a split in the Church.

The OP is not likely reading any of our responses as this person has been banned, but if she is returning I would say this.

On another thread you said something about this to the point of calling us all lukewarm so and so’s and that this isn’t what you signed up for when you joined. You’re not going to join a faith of over one billion people without running into some lukewarms. Beyond that, the mode of worship does not reveal the whether someone’s heart is lukewarm or infact on fire. Do you think that no one was lukewarm when all of Christendom was nominally Catholic? Do you think that is what we “signed up for” when we were born into it or when others converted?

When the going gets tough, you don’t just flee, you be the change you want to see. If you want things more traditional, wear a mantilla. I do, you will notice that it may give courage to a few more ladies and you start seeing them more. Politely fold your hands in prayer if and when people try to hold your hand. Recieve communion on the tongue. Join the parish council and lend your voice to decisions about renovations that may make the building itself more traditional, or even just if you can afford it give the church a gift like new stations of the cross or pay for something that inspires reverent worship. Have a big family and teach them to do the same. Take your family and yourself to a Latin mass every so often just to see it. Teach them the beauty of our Catholic culture and heritage. But most of all, be humble and polite and stealthy in your ways. You must not do any of this in a way that shames people or makes you feel superior. You don’t like the contemporary ways? Don’t blame the pope, blame the culture, and if you up and leave, blame yourself.

Dislcaimer: To everyone else, while I have these preferences I do not believe that other’s preferences happen to be wrong and sincerely hope no one reads this as a belligerent attack on modernity.

 

[einna]

Yep. We use NFP, have had 4 kids in 6 years, and have never even been on a vacation that my husband’s job didn’t pay for so he could go to a training. Our cars are both 13 years old and we are debt free (except for our house) because we live so frugally. Kids’ clothes? Garage sales and hand-me-downs. We’re just so selfish.

I’m right there with you. It is hard to believe that people would think that someone doesn’t have family values because they do not have the means to have 8-9 kids. When I was growing up you could send all your kids to Catholic school by giving to the church. Now you have to pay tuition for each and every child over what you give to the church. We feel it is important to send our children to Catholic school, but we could never do that if we had 8 children. We have three and we also have very old cars, clothes from the good will, and no vacations; thankfully my kids are very grateful for what they have.