Importance of Catholic Friends

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No man is an island. We are all part of the same human family. We are not made to be alone. Having friends that share your faith and will support you in pursing holiness and with prayer is indispensable.

Honestly, I think this is one of the big deficiencies in our present day that leads to people falling away from the faith: the lack of good Catholic friendships. I know some people who really struggle with it for various reasons (I’ve had families who really struggle to even identify another Catholic in good standing to be their child’s sponsor or godparent).

We all need a support system.
 
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redbetta said:
It’s nice to have people with whom you can be yourself and 100% uncensored.
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Personally, this is why i need non-Catholic friends as well. Personally i like to think things through, by talking about them out-loud. I need to be able to express thoughts and work through logic without the thought police jumping on it every time at thought comes out that may or may not violate page 3,962 of the catechism.
 
stupidisasstupiddoes said:
I need to be able to express thoughts and work through logic without the thought police jumping on it every time at thought comes out that may or may not violate page 3,962 of the catechism.
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The Catechism is only 904 pages (including appendices). 😜
 
I was listening to the Catholic Stuff You Should Know podcast (highly recommend if you haven’t heard of it!) from the other week on spiritual friendship and they quoted a suggested definition of friendship as: “finding a person whose fundamental interest is walking with me towards God.” That really struck me and I realized I don’t think I have any true Catholic friends, outside of my mom and grandmother (and even then, we really don’t talk theology or religious issues).

My husband is not religious. While he’s open to discussion about religion, it’s obviously not the same. I attend church by myself and find it hard to socialize with people there (though I guess that’s on me…I do assist with CCD and have attended a few social events but am pretty shy). Friends from college, coworkers, etc; none of them are religious.

It’s kind of lonely. Would love to find people strong in their faith to share things with and to mutually build each other up.
 
Joe_5859 said:
The Catechism is only 904 pages (including appendices)
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Yeah but then they’ve memorised the bible cover to cover, along with 3 different commentaries on it and every book, every Pope has ever written - so i’m adding that to my page count.
 
redbetta said:
What kind of Catholics have you been hanging out with? I only see that on the Internet.
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Good question. Actually the only Catholics I’ve ‘met’ like this are here on CAF. But i grew up around fundamentalist Protestants (the home schooling types) who are just as bad. Same song, different verse. I got shut down for mentioning breast feeding to an Aunt at Christmas (my wife and I are hoping to get pregnant this year).
 
Yeah, the Internet is where people on the free fringes gather. But no Catholic I’ve come to know acts like that. Also, there are trolls here who come and act like perfect caricatures of what people think Catholics are like.
 
ColleenEH said:
I was listening to the Catholic Stuff You Should Know podcast (highly recommend if you haven’t heard of it!) from the other week on spiritual friendship and they quoted a suggested definition of friendship as: “finding a person whose fundamental interest is walking with me towards God.”
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That’s a really beautiful definition of a friend. It makes me realize how utterly blessed I am to have people like that in my life. There’s one person in particular I can count on to be more concerned about my relationship with God than almost anything else (and manages not to be preachy abou it).
 
This is true. I just don’t know what kind of male enjoys going around telling everyone they are going to hell. Actually i do, it’s just trolling, you’re right. Thanks for clearing that up for me, it was quite a shock when i joined here and first saw it!
 
That’s like asking why church is important. Other people in the faith will help you grow in the faith. They’ll see things you don’t see and help you in ways that you can’t help yourself. Also most people date so they may even help you find someone to go out with.

Not only that but there’s this old adage about lying down with dogs and getting up with fleas. Well it’s the opposite with Catholics. Hang out with mostly Catholics and sometimes those fleas aren’t there anymore
 
But back to your original statement about being “100% uncensored”. Without going into details, is there no sin where you think “i really need to think through the Church teaching on X” (i.e. why is this a sin, what’s the damage, why isn’t it illegal etc) without worrying that you’re going to be seen as arguing against the Church / trying to lead other Catholics astray or justify your own sins?
 
The quotation was from Bishop Massimo Camisasca, who is currently the Bishop of Reggio Emilia-Guastalla, Italy. Though I believe it’s from a work not yet translated into English…though they (the podcasters, who are all priests and members of a priestly fraternity in Denver called the Companions of Christ) hinted that they might be working on a translation.
 
stupidisasstupiddoes said:
Without going into details, is there no sin where you think “i really need to think through the Church teaching on X” (i.e. why is this a sin, what’s the damage, why isn’t it illegal etc) without worrying that you’re going to be seen as arguing against the Church / trying to lead other Catholics astray or justify your own sins?
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I think that, ideally, we will have Catholic friends who will stand by us and be understanding even if we are wrestling with understanding a particular Catholic teaching. Rather than being scandalized by our struggle, they can help us in coming to understand the Catholic teaching.

Now, if one is always making snide remarks to undermine Catholic teaching without coming across as being open to hear arguments in favor of the Catholic teaching, then I could see one’s Catholic friends being upset by that. But honest questioning and seeking? That’s totally different.
 
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I’m not sure what you’re getting at. I’m not scrupulous, nor do I disagree with the Church on anything. At most, I’m skeptical of Pope Francis, but, maybe it’s a clash of personalities.
 
I was raised Protestant and became Catholic when i was 21. I think there’s a fundamental problem with the fragmentation of Protestantism that makes it virtually useless in 2018. What I mean by that is that i’m not satisfied to sit in some dark corner of the world convincing myself that everyone is going to hell and it’ll just be me, Jesus and my family in Heaven. Which is basically what fundamentalist Protestants do and why they love home schooling so much.

I love that we have a head of state who stands up for the down trodden, the helpless and those in need. Someone who isn’t a parasite, populist politician trying to tell every voter that all their desires can be accepted in exchange for votes. Reading “Crossing the threshold of Hope” literally had that effect on me, i read it, went to Rome on a holiday and came back sure that the Catholic Church was the only Christian Church that had answers to the problems of the world and it’s been 10 years now.

That said, i had 21 years where i could basically make up my own morality as long as i used complicated words and can cherry pick a verse in the bible that seems to agree with me (hyperbole for the easily triggered). So it does take time to get your head around why the Catholic Church teaches what it does because the beliefs are layered.
 
redbetta said:
I’m not sure what you’re getting at. I’m not scrupulous, nor do I disagree with the Church on anything. At most, I’m skeptical of Pope Francis, but, maybe it’s a clash of personalities.
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Ok i’ll give you an example: abortion. I was pretty shocked to learn you can be excommunicated for having an abortion. Not that i’ve ever needed one or been particularly in favour of them. I think that until you understand some foundational beliefs about why human life is sacred and the empirical consequences of not believing that; then you can’t really understand why the Church position is so strong on a legal activity. So as someone who didn’t grow up Catholic and essential grew up in a secular society that thinks abortion is fine below 24 weeks then i needed to work through that logic and understand where it came from. I fear that had i been through that thought process around Catholics then i would have been categorised as a pro-choice troll by some or many. Which isn’t fair because i’ve never had a strong opinion on it until i really thought through the issue. But you do start with “well it’s legal so how bad can it be?” turns out: very.
 
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