Improper to ask guests to remove shoes before entering your home?

[carol_marie]

Wear someone else’s slippers? Gross. :nope:

I’d rather wait outside.

 

[Mummybee]

Bottom line, OP, I don’t think you can win this one, no matter what you decide. Which would you rather do: risk offending people you may not know so well, or clean up after them? I left out the slipper option because I don’t know about you, but I’m not likely to pick up 30 pairs of courtesy slippers to have on hand for such an occasion. Five or 6, mayber, if I decided I really liked the idea, but not enough to cover all the feet of your expected guests!

 

[PRmerger]

OP here.

It seems to be the consensus that people may not feel comfortable being asked to remove their shoes.

Funny–I never discussed whether we would ask our guests to remove shoes with my DH until after I started this thread. He said it was a no-brainer: of course we wouldn’t ask guests to remove their shoes!

Regarding holes in socks–never once have I given this a second thought! I often have holes in my socks and have never been embarrassed, as long as they’re clean and not smelly. Maybe I’ll feel a twinge of shame from now on!

 

[PRmerger]

To the OP, why not just say, at the door “Feel free to take off your shoes if you’d like.” That way more people will, but if they’d prefer not to then no pressure.

That would be a wonderful idea…were it not for the female tendency (generally speaking) to read into that statement.

Although this is fodder for another thread, my feeling is that men generally will take a statement like “Feel free to take off your shoes if you’d like” for what it’s worth. And will take off their shoes if they feel like it.

Women, generally, will read into that and think, “Oh, dear. She wants me to take off my shoes. But I’d really rather not. Now I have to take off my shoes.”

Generalizations, of course.

 

[Gearoidin]

We are having a “Reunion Party” for people from our parish who attended the March for Life Bustrip to Washington, DC. Even though we’ve been in our new house for over a year, this is the first time we are planning a party for more than 30 people.

Would it be in bad form to ask the guests to remove their shoes in our foyer?

It is something that we all do in my family–for comfort as well as cleanliness. (What were we thinking when we bought the house??–white carpets and 4 children are not a good combination!)

We do not know many of these people well–as I said, they are fellow parishioners who attended the ProLife Bustrip (and I suppose, 18 hours on a bus will help you to know someone… nevertheless, we are not close friends with all the invited.)

Not here in Japan. It would be very rude to keep your shoes on! However, back in Ireland you wouldn’t expect guests to remove their shoes. I don’t know what the social customs in the US are.

Gerry

 

[masondoggy]

I’ve always thought it was rude to ask guests to remove their shoes. I really think it is a comfort issue for your guests.

I’ve gone over to DH’s friends house before and was asked to remove my shoes. The floors were ceramic and were FREEZING cold. I was given yuky used slippers to put on. Let’s just say I was not pleased. Yuk.

Some people are also very self concious about their feet. And there’s nothing grosser than going over to somebody’s house where you have to take your shoes off, but the place where all the shoes are is wet, snowy, muddy etc. and your nice warm socks get wet. Then your stuck walking around that way.

I think the best solution is to plan on scheduling a carpet cleaning appt. the next day or maybe even invest in your own carpet cleaner so you can make a quick cleanup after guests leave.

 

[dympnha]

My sister in law used to ask everyone to remove their shoes upon entering her home. So we would sit around, freezing since my brother in law does not heat the house over 60 degrees. Plus my husband works hard for a living and when he takes his shoes off it’s smells like a man

I was always infuriated by this whole thing. To me, making guests feel uncomfortable is unpardonable rudeness and one day I just refused to take my shoes off. She’s never brought it up again.

 

[1ke]

I do not take my shoes off even in homes where that is the custom. I have some serious medical issues with my feet and going barefoot (or in socks) is extremely painful. I wear shoes at all times, even in my own house. And, not slippers, real shoes.

You never know what type of issue your guests may have, from holes in their socks to medical conditions and any number of other reasons. As a hostess, you should never do anything to make your guests uncomfortable. And, this would make me uncomfortable, and I would refuse the “no shoe” policy anyway. And, if it came down to me or the shoes, I’d leave.

 

[TrishaW]

Although I personally always take my shoes off (even when told that I don’t have to), I agree that it would be rude to actually tell/ask people to.

Someone mentioned cold houses, which I’ve encountered a lot. But since I know that I will take my shoes off, I always bring my slippers with me when I go visiting.

My parents and my s-i-l are the only people in the family who expect this. My parents have brand new carpeting and live in the country (lots of dirt around), so I can understand. My s-i-l, I don’t know. Like someone else said, there’s always a pile of wet, muddy shoes by the door, and it’s almost impossible to navigate it without getting yucky yourself. The funny thing is, the one time she came to my house, she DIDN’T remove her shoes (even though everyone else did without any comment or requirement from me) and hers were filty. She left dried mud all over the place. Strange.

God bless and good luck with your party!

Trish

 

[BlyssfulDreamer]

I have never asked people to remove their shoes. Most people would not want to track in though and I would have no problem asking them to do so if they were bringing in mud and crud with them. It is rude for them to do so. But on the other hand, if it is dry it would seem to rude to ask them to remove them, although I am always padding around the house in my socks.

:heart:Blyss

 

[CarolAnnSFO]

Not here in Japan. It would be very rude to keep your shoes on! However, back in Ireland you wouldn’t expect guests to remove their shoes. I don’t know what the social customs in the US are.

Gerry

I think it depends on the household. I was brought up not to wear shoes indoors, and I don’t – nor does anyone else in my family.

When guests arrive, and they see my shoes standing by the doorway, they’ll often ask if they’re supposed to remove their shoes, and I tell them “no, you can leave them on”. I just make sure there’s a shoe-wiping rug near the doorway.

Regarding repairmen, I would never expect them to take off their shoes or boots, even if the footwear is muddy. They’re working with tools and machinery, and those boots often serve a protective function (steel cap toes, for example).

 

[Em_in_FL]

I grew up wearing shoes in our house… and never knew of anyone, as a child, who specifically took them off at the front door like that.

For me… I don’t feel comfortable taking my shoes off. I often don’t wear socks, so that would just make my feet all nasty from walking on their floors… YUK. I mean, there’s cat and dog hair, infant boogies, food crumbs… no one keeps a perfectly spotless home! I just prefer shoes!

I’m not insulted when people ask me to remove my shoes… it’s just not a pleasing task.

I don’t force anyone to do anything in my house.

 

[jrabs]

I do not take my shoes off even in homes where that is the custom. I have some serious medical issues with my feet and going barefoot (or in socks) is extremely painful. I wear shoes at all times, even in my own house. And, not slippers, real shoes.

You never know what type of issue your guests may have, from holes in their socks to medical conditions and any number of other reasons. As a hostess, you should never do anything to make your guests uncomfortable. And, this would make me uncomfortable, and I would refuse the “no shoe” policy anyway. And, if it came down to me or the shoes, I’d leave.

I’d have to agree.

I do not have medical issues with my feet but rarely walk around my house without shoes on. Even in my own house. I hate the feeling of nothing on my feet. I even sleep with socks on.

Ick.

Plus not to mention - there are people out there that have embarrassing foot odor. Best for all if they kept their shoes on.

 

[water]

Some people will not like to take the shoes off because their feet might be smelly

It would be a big surprise to ask them to take their shoes off.

Tell them to use foot powder before coming to your house.

 

[joecoolcat]

That’ll teach you to buy a white carpet

 

[BLB_Oregon]

We generally answer the door in stocking feet, so guests will often ask if they need to remove their shoes. We tell them to do what makes them comfortable and that they are by no means expected to take their shoes off. Unless taking shoes off is what polite people normally do in your area, you can’t go changing the rules on people when they hit your door.

Let people do what they want with regards to their shoes. Since it is a party, it is unlikely that anyone will show up with muddy sneakers on. You can also buy a box of those booties that they have for real estate open houses, but I would only offer them if someone asks, making it clear that they are *not *required.

After all, if you’re serving anything in the way of food or beverages, plan on having the floor cleaned after the party, anyway. And with that white carpet, I would advocate against offering punch with red coloring in it or other food that is likely to stain the carpet. You would almost be asking for someone to embarrass themselves.

 

[lizaanne]

This is a huge hot button for me.

When someone dresses for an occasion, be it a party or social visit, they consider what they are wearing, and shoes are part of that consideration. Especially for women. I’ll be darned if I’m going to go to the trouble of putting on a nice skirt, a gorgeous pair of boots, and a new pair of tights, only to walk around in my nearly bare feet feet and ruin my stockings. It’s rude to expect people to remove articles of clothing to be in your home.

Yes - I have to endure this every single time I go to my dad and step-mom’s house - and it DRIVES ME FREAKIN’ CRAZY!!! (He couldn’t care less, it’s her “rule”)

One Christmas I did have the nice skirt, and new suede boots on. She asked me if I wanted to take them off, and I said no, I’m just fine thank you. Then she told me that heels poke holes in her hard wood floor!! (her sister walks like an elephant and left tiny little indentations one time, so now “everyone leaves holes”) - so I said that I would just stay on the carpet and not go in the kitchen.

Yep - I’ll let people come in my home with their shoes on, and I have ivory carpet. They are a guest, and a guest should be treated with all respect and dignity, and not asked to strip before entering. Even family are treated with the same respect - I see no difference. If someone is comfortable with no shoes, then go for it, but I would never ever ask anyone to remove their shoes.

WHEW!!! That felt GOOD!!! hehehehe

~Liza

 

[maggieodae]

I’d have to agree.

I do not have medical issues with my feet but rarely walk around my house without shoes on. Even in my own house. I hate the feeling of nothing on my feet. I even sleep with socks on.

Ick.

Plus not to mention - there are people out there that have embarrassing foot odor. Best for all if they kept their shoes on.

I even sleep with my shoes and socks on sometimes… No one is going to make me freeze to save their carpet.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

This is a huge hot button for me.

When someone dresses for an occasion, be it a party or social visit, they consider what they are wearing, and shoes are part of that consideration. Especially for women. I’ll be darned if I’m going to go to the trouble of putting on a nice skirt, a gorgeous pair of boots, and a new pair of tights, only to walk around in my nearly bare feet feet and ruin my stockings. It’s rude to expect people to remove articles of clothing to be in your home.

Yes - I have to endure this every single time I go to my dad and step-mom’s house - and it DRIVES ME FREAKIN’ CRAZY!!! (He couldn’t care less, it’s her “rule”)

One Christmas I did have the nice skirt, and new suede boots on. She asked me if I wanted to take them off, and I said no, I’m just fine thank you. Then she told me that heels poke holes in her hard wood floor!! (her sister walks like an elephant and left tiny little indentations one time, so now “everyone leaves holes”) - so I said that I would just stay on the carpet and not go in the kitchen.

Yep - I’ll let people come in my home with their shoes on, and I have ivory carpet. They are a guest, and a guest should be treated with all respect and dignity, and not asked to strip before entering. Even family are treated with the same respect - I see no difference. If someone is comfortable with no shoes, then go for it, but I would never ever ask anyone to remove their shoes.

WHEW!!! That felt GOOD!!! hehehehe

~Liza

Well, yes, but…
No matter how a guest comes to your house, you’re pretty much bound to let them come in with whatever they’re wearing, unless you’ve decided then and there that you don’t care if someone who would come to your home in such a state decides to break off all contact with you and never to come back. The breach really needs to be of that magnitude…turning someone away at the door because they showed up filthy, intoxicated, spewing profanities, or otherwise abusing of your hospitality, that kind of thing.

OTOH, shoes can do real damage to homes, and it is rude of a guest to not take care of someone else’s home, even if they don’t see fit to take care of their own. You should not let a gracious host induce you (as politenss requires that they try to do) to come into their home with clothing or footwear that would make a mess or damage their home. High heels can come under that category, if the flooring is soft and might be punctured grow.arizona.edu/Grow–GrowResources.php?ResourceId=217. Also, heels that have not been kept in good repair and have exposed shoe nails can cause extensive damage. If you are aware that someone does not like such-and-so in their home, it behooves you to try not to do that.

If you’re caught once, then no, you don’t have to remove your shoes and ruin your stockings. If your hostess succeeded in forcing you to do otherwise, she would be remiss. (Actually, unless you asked, which you should, she’d be remiss in telling you in the first place.) You would be in some suffering over it in any case, though, I would think. If you ever showed up at her house again wearing shoes that you suspect might be an irritation to her, though, it would you who would be remiss…but she’d still have to either bite her tongue or decide that your company was not worth the breaches of etiquette you might be expected to bring with you.

If you see that your shoes could do damage, you remove them without asking…you just announce, “Oh, my shoes are going to mess up your carpet, I’m taking them off.” The hostess can’t politely prevent that, even if your socks are a horror and your feet stink. If you ask if she wants you to, she can say that they don’t wear shoes, but she has to say that you are welcome to leave yours on, and in fact must make some effort to keep your shoes on your feet…shoes staying on guests being the norm in our country.

The whole idea behind polite behavior is for everybody to fall over themselves in order to exceed each other in foreseeing any discomfort and in being accomodating of that. The first one to blink–that is, the first one to put themselves and their own comfort and opinions first–loses.

 

[Joe_Brougham]

We remove our shoes for sanitary reasons just as in Jesus time shoes were removed in our Jewish ancestor’s homes because the foot/shoe is the dirtiest part of the body.

We have babies in our home - we don’t need to have some one step in fecal mater and drag that onto the floor for the baby to get sick. Some infections for newborns are fatal.

We ask our family to do the same. For large parties and new folks we put a bench and a basket beside the front door and let them decide.

Merry Christmas +
Brougham Family