In-laws vs. husband's conversion

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I have just watched the 4-minute preview of the Common Ground DVD, and man, that is powerful. I’ve already ordered it, but it won’t be here in time for the meeting, but I’m sure there’ll be another occasion soon.

Yeah, email is a bit cold. My husband was dreading his mom’s reaction though, specially because she has been fainting every so often, so he wanted her to be comfortable and have time to think when she read it.

Great idea, I will ask my Guardian Angel to break some of the ice with their Guardian Angels!

Yes, it does seem they are angry. On the phone, his mom told him that he was just lying to himself.
His sister replied to his email, saying she thought they were supposed to follow only Jesus. And she said he didn’t sound like himself in the email. But other than that she said she would come to the Vigil and then changed the subject.

I am sure most Catholics with non-Catholic spouses wish that they be converted by Jesus to the Truth. However, I am not sure there would be anyone who would have this wish hidden in their hearts. In fact, when we got the dispensation from the Church to marry, my husband had to sign a paper saying he was aware that I would keep my responsibilities as a Catholic and that he was not opposed to me bringing up our children in the Catholic Church.

I wouldn’t say I am ready to handle this perfectly, but I do pray to God that I may be. I have taken many suble indirect attacks for years, like I mentioned above, without having the chance to respond. I have actually brought this up to my mother-in-law’s attention, I asked her to try to avoid side comments and instead directly ask me questions about the Church, or tell me what it is she doesn’t like about it. She then asked me why Catholics are the biggest drunkards and gamblists, that was the first honest question about the Church I ever got from her. I basically told her “unfortunately, there are many Catholics who do fit that description, although they are not supposed to if they are faithful to the Church. The problem is exactly that many are not. Just like I’m sure you’ve ran into many of your fellow Christians who were not true in their faith. The Catholic Church gets an even worse reputation in this area because it is afterall the oldest, largest Christian group on the planet. 1/3 of the world is Christian and 1/2 of Christians are Catholics. There are many Catholics who call themselves Catholic just because they have been baptized or have some family members who are actually true Catholics”.
She then said “well, I apologize if I offended you, but I have been very patient with Catholics for many years now”. That was pretty much it.
She has since then continued to make her indirect comments.
So, please pray for me that I won’t lose my grip, be fed up and reach my limit if something really bad happens. I have been praying for God to help me show her the difference between us Catholics and most of our separated brothers and sisters. How we don’t agree but respect them as Christians, and how even our converts maintain a loving memory of their protestant background, while most ex-Catholics just basically hate the Church from the guts of their livelihood.
I realize this will be like a golden chance to finally have an open conversation about our differences, so I pray that I won’t blow it. Dear Blessed Mother, I need to follow your example of self-control, endurance, patience and strength.

True, I have sent them an email in the past with the dates and places of the foundation of most religions and Christian denominations. Never got an answer.

Yes, if the conversation starts getting personal, emotional or subjective, I agree that would be time to leave.
I confess I have thought of the potential impact that the Easter Vigil itself could have on his family, specially his mom. I do believe in her honest love for Jesus, I think if she ever let herself see the Catholic Church for who she really is, I have no doubts his mom would go over her pride and accept the Church.
The Easter Vigil is very powerful, very beautiful, I cannot imagine any pure heart not seeing the beauty and truth in it.
Yes, my husband needs to make this very clear. That this is about him and Jesus, that they need to respect his decision.

We’ve just ordered the book “Born Fundamentalist Born Again Catholic” as well, we got it for $5.75. He wrote the book to explain to his family why he converted. Very appropriate. My husband will read it before giving it to them though.

Very good question about the contents vs. interpretation of Scripture, I’ll make sure to ask that when I get the chance.

I apologize if I missed any comment that could get a response. I am trying to keep my post as “small” as possible. I truly am thankful for everyone’s (name removed by moderator)ut.
 
I actually had a similar situation. My wife converted through RCIA, and her mother is anti-christianity (dont ask, I wish I understood). Anyway, she didnt tell her mother until after she received the sacraments of initiation. Her mother took it very poorly, was very dissapointed in her. She attacked me as well, for “forcing her to convert.”

Long story short - it was not a good conversation. my advice to you. do a lot of listening. do not answer for your husband on questions like why he chose Catholicism, but do help him with questions on doctrine if he needs it. AVOID PERSONAL ATTACKS, even if they lash out at you, do not return the favor. from your post, I dont believe you will “win” this argument. Your goal is for your in laws to be OK with it, then eventually their support. Your goal is not to convert your inlaws this weekend. Focus on similarities of the Christian religions, points you can agree on.

Hope this rambling helps. Good Luck
 
Thais,

You aren’t obliged to satisfy my curiosity, but how did it go? Is everyone in one piece? 🙂 I hope it went okay.
 
Thais,

You aren’t obliged to satisfy my curiosity, but how did it go? Is everyone in one piece? 🙂 I hope it went okay.
Thanks, Pug. I actually wanted to resume the conversation here, because I need more help, but I, for one, kept thinking I may be abusing everyone’s goodwill, but mostly I was somewhat embarrassed to tell what happened. This weekend was one big nightmare, which I still don’t feel like I woke up from.

Well, first of all, there was no meeting. We have not met any of my in-laws, or even talked on the phone, since my last post. My husband and his dad have exchanged emails.

(I am not the kind that likes real life suspense, so let me tell you that my husband is still coming to the Church.)

Ok, I had been asking my husband to talk about the game plan for the meeting almost all week, he kept postponing it to the following day, saying he was busy (which he is, he’s attending college). Friday night, he tried to postpone it again, until I pointed out we would be busy the following morning and would have no time to talk. He then agreed.

He then tells me he has to talk to me about something else that relates to the meeting. Then he says “I think I’ve been lying to myself in wanting to become Catholic” (which is exactly what his mother told him on the phone, let me remind you). “I have been having many doubts all week, so I don’t think it would be correct for me to convert in the midst of these doubts, it would be like lying”.

After recovering from the shock, I was able to utter these words: “You have either been lying and putting up a show to me, my family and the RCIA group for 6 months, or you are afraid of your parents”.

He denied his parents had anything to do with it (which I obviously did not believe) and said that he was under a lot of pressure when he made his decision back then.

I told him that from what I saw, the moment when he made his decision was a beautiful episode, which was right after he fell down on his knees in prayer, asking God to take away his pride, which btw happened after 2 days of intensive continuous research for the history of any Christian group that dated back to the Early Church (other than the Church itself, which he already knew did), whose outcome was obviously nothing but a group that claimed to have been, but that a protestant historian figured out that they started in the 14 hundreds, if I recall they were called Waldesians, or something like that.
I also reminded him that I even double checked that he hadn’t made that decision just to please me. And that even the RCIA coordinator had a meeting with us to check on that as well (because my husband had left the group to spend some time researching on his specific issues).

I went to bed, and woke up with the decision to not direct a word to him, lest he use it to accuse me of “pressuring him” again.

After a few attempts to talk to me and some time, he asked me to sit down and talk to him. I told him “I have nothing to talk to you about, because nothing you may say at this point carries any weight for me, I am tired of being lied to. I have never felt this lost and empty, at this point, I feel like my whole life is now on your parents’ hands, because any plans we have made so far may change at any minute if they disagree with it, and they don’t even know me well, I’m not even sure of how much they like me. So I’ll just go on living one minute at a time, and hoping that whatever plans your parents have in store for us in the future may be good” and left the room.

After a while, he came after me, telling me that he could guarantee that this has nothing to do with his parents. I told him “Right now, I have no certainties in my life, other than this: that they have everything to do with it”. He went away.

He comes back crying and saying he was sorry for hurting me so bad, but that God would restore my trust and our relationship. I asked him “for how long? Six months, until I find out it had all been a lie? One year, 3, 5 years? I will never know when it ended for sure”.

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Later, he told me that he had sent his parents an email in the morning canceling the meeting. He then said that his conversion wouldn’t be authentic if he had doubts and if he didn’t feel anything in his heart, and that if he were to convert and then later fall away from the Church, that I would think his soul was in serious peril. I told him “last night, you didn’t act like you just had doubts, you acted like you had backed away from your decision already. Having doubts is only natural for us humans, I still struggle with one doubt or another every couple of years, ever since I reverted back to the Church. I just trust the Church that Jesus gave me, keep praying and searching for the answer, still in obedience, and it does finally come. Faith is not a feeling, it is a decision, an assent of the will. Same thing with love, and honestly, right now, I do not “feel” like I love you, but I am standing behind the commitment I made, so right now, loving you is a decision for me. I am also being tormented by the evil one with many doubts about our marriage, and whether our marriage was even valid, since you did not possess the free will and maturity it takes for an adult to make a vow, and also since I have been slowly discovering that you lie constantly, which I did not know before. However, my Catholic Faith and everything I know tell me that these are all mere attempts by the enemy to destroy a Sacred Marriage, so I am choosing to ignore them. About my concern for your soul, I already have it, because you have already had a baptism of desire, and you already have been exposed to more than enough information to know that the Catholic Church is the One True Church that Jesus founded, unlike your parents, who get a discount because of their lack of this knowledge”.

I also told him I almost feel like I just got lucky that his parents happened to approve of our marriage, otherwise we may not be married right now. He did not deny this. I then concluded that I should expect a divorce from him at any time, in case his parents one day woke up to realize they didn’t like me anymore. He still did not deny this.
I then told him I would not have children with him until I knew he was not under the control of his parents like this anymore, because that would just mean they would have free access to do whatever they wanted to my children, because he would give them that license.

We went out to get some food, but on the way back, I told him I didn’t feel like going home and be depressed. So he suggested going to a park, which I accepted.

We talked a little, and he clarified that when he said he was under pressure back in September, he didn’t mean that I was the one pressuring him, but our situation itself. I told him I agreed that our situation was really bad, but that this would always be true until resolved, and that the fact that he might want to please me in solving it doesn’t necessarily mean that this is his actual driving force, so that he shouldn’t let that confuse him.

He then asked me: if he was not able to explain his Catholic faith to his parents, did that mean he was lying to himself? I told him that explaining one’s Catholic faith is not easy even for most cradle Catholics, even less for someone who just got baptized, even less someone who has not even been baptized. I reminded him of what Fr. Corapi had said in the Catechism series, how most Catholics, even the active ones, would probably not be able to talk about the Eucharist for 10 minutes straight.

He then said that he would continue his course, trusting the decision he made in September, but that he would not meet with his parents before the Vigil. I was ok with that, and reminded him that some people in the thread here hadn’t even liked the idea of having the meeting because of the false impression of power/control it gave his parents, and that if he was brave enough to go through with this despite his parents’ disapproval, that this would be like breaking free from his parents control once and for all. He agreed with that.

He said he would read the book we ordered “Born Fundamentalist, Born Again Catholic” during his break (next week), and mail it to them with a note.

Finally, he warned me that he had no idea what his parents might try to do, from calling him, calling my cell phone, showing up at our house, etc. He asked me to not answer my phone if they tried calling me. I said ok.

We got home to find an email from his dad canceling the meeting, which had been sent like, minutes after my husband’s own email canceling the meeting. It seems his dad did not see it arrived while he was typing his. His dad basically said that his heart issues had been worse ever since my husband’s original email about his conversion, so they wouldn’t meet us. He said that my husband was an adult of age and able to make his own decision. He then said they were just sad because they had raised him and trained him as a Christian (!!!). And he said that they didn’t like that he just sent an email, and didn’t like his refusal to meet with them privately, that as his parents they have a right to do so. He then said my mother-in-law and others were coming to the ceremony, but he was not sure about that yet, that he would talk with his pastor. And he said that he and his wife loved my husband and I.

(2 of 3)
 
My husband replied, saying basically that his dad was right in saying he is an adult able to make his own decisions without requiring their approval. He said he sent an email because he dreaded his mom’s recent fainting spells, and didn’t want to make it more emotional by being present, that he did not want to cause either of them to have health issues. He said he didn’t agree that his parents have the right to force him to meet with them at a certain point in time, and that about meeting privately, if the intentions were good, there was nothing to hide from me (this part was my suggestion - I also helped him with the rest of the email, at his request). He also said that his dad could rest assured, that he would continue to always be a Christian, because Catholics are Christians, whether they believe it or not. And then he said we loved them also, and that he just asks that they respect the decision he had made, and hopes they’ll understand it one day.

His dad replied, saying he had twisted what he had said “as usual”. I did not recall his dad ever claiming that before, so I asked my husband if he did, he didn’t either. His dad said that he had not said that they had a right to meet with him, but to “request” to meet with him (we went back and checked his previous email, and that was not what he said, the word “request” was nowhere to be found in that email, but we agreed it wasn’t worth even bothering). His dad then said that he had not said anybody was forcing him to do anything, and that he wouldn’t say anything else, as he knew what my husband was “dealing with”.

I told my husband that this email, just like when his mom said he was lying to himself, or his sister that he didn’t sound like himself in the email, all of this sounds to me like a pattern of “subliminal messages”. That none of these were direct attacks done in the light of day, but instead, side comments, subtle suggestions, done as in the dark of the night. He said “this might be where I got all my lies from”. I told him not to worry, that he would be made brand new, washed clean at the Vigil.

Well, we both agreed it wasn’t even worth replying, as it would only welcome them to continue.

Sunday night, his dad sent another email, saying that after talking to his pastor, he would come to the Vigil as well because they love him unconditionally, and they would support him. He then said "and this is all I’m going to say, because I know the pressure you are under ".

Again, they weren’t content that the previous emails’ indirect suggestions were clear enough, they made sure that my husband would understand that they were accusing me of putting pressure on him. I told my husband I was just glad that his conversion had actually happened 6 months ago, so that this accusation that I was pressuring him right now wouldn’t trick him into believing it.

I was very sad that his dad was saying these things about me (the Christian comment, and then the accusations), specially because he had never done anything evil towards me before, while I was kinda used to that behavior from his mom. He told me he had no doubt that his mom was actually the one behind his dad’s emails. It still hurts though, because he must have agreed with everything, otherwise he wouldn’t have typed it all.

Well, my husband at this point is dreading what they might do to disrupt the Vigil, he’s even warned his sponsor and the RCIA coordinator that his family is coming, but that they didn’t take his conversion well at all, and that they might try to stop him right before or during the ceremony.

He won’t reply to the last email either, and he told me he would actually prefer that they didn’t come.

I do feel better than I did this past weekend, but I still feel horrible. I have no doubts that his parents do not like me enough or even respect me. I will only really believe my husband is becoming Catholic when I see it happen with my own eyes. And I don’t even know for sure that he has stopped his lies.

On top of that, I feel like I’m walking on eggs, and I keep wondering if having told my husband what I did (which were all my true thoughts), or even having helped him with that email wasn’t like “putting pressure on him”.

I talked to my mom, but tried to tell her the bare minimum, while being true in my answers to her questions, to avoid worrying her. It was like she could sense there was something wrong, because she’s not all that big of a Catholic herself, and usually doesn’t ask too many questions about Faith, but this time she was definitely asking non-stop. In the end, she said “well, I just didn’t like that they said that about Christians, because you were also raised and trained as a Christian” (which was like, pretty much the only detail I gave her). She then was ok with hanging up the phone, but I could tell in her voice, she was worried.

Please obey forum rules, but go ahead and do not hold back if you believe something to be true.

(3 of 3)
 
If his parents are indeed going to attend the Vigil Mass, you may want to prepare some kind of pamphlet for them explaining the parts of the Vigil Mass and the sacraments of initiation (and their Biblical backing), as well as perhaps pointing out some of the various features of the church building that they might not understand or disapprove of (statues, tabernacle, altar, etc…). A simple understanding of what’s going on might go a long way. Maybe the priest can welcome them as they come into church as well, if he has time.
 
If his parents are indeed going to attend the Vigil Mass, you may want to prepare some kind of pamphlet for them explaining the parts of the Vigil Mass and the sacraments of initiation (and their Biblical backing), as well as perhaps pointing out some of the various features of the church building that they might not understand or disapprove of (statues, tabernacle, altar, etc…). A simple understanding of what’s going on might go a long way. Maybe the priest can welcome them as they come into church as well, if he has time.
They’ve been to a Catholic Church before, at least on the day of our Wedding.

They are familiar with the idea of Baptism, my husband was baptized when he was 4, when she was still a Pentecostal (she’s a non-denominational pastor now). His baptism was invalid because it was not in the Trinitarian formula, it was in the name of Jesus only.

In fact, for our Wedding, we asked her for his baptism certificate, which she didn’t find, but she told us he was baptized in the name of the Trinity.

Later when she did give us the certificate, it said the contrary. We got on the church’s website, which had a link to the main Pentecostal website (UPC), which explained why they baptize in the name of Jesus only.

I also remember now that his mom asked me a question about infant baptism (before we were married, I think this was like 1 out of 2 direct questions she’s ever asked me about the Church). She asked why we baptize babies, that baptism required an adult consent. I told her to check the Acts of the Apostles, didn’t remember the exact chapter, but that it said that the apostles baptized entire households, including children and women. I told her that when babies are baptized, the parents and godparents give the consent in the baby’s name, promising to already raise that child inside the Church.

Right now, I do not feel like making anything to give them, but I will keep your suggestion in mind for a few days from now. Besides, that would be “for Jesus” more than “for them”.
 
Praying for your situation. How hard this must be for you. :hug1:
 
It is hard… I’ve just been reminding myself that God is in control and everything will turn out alright as long as I remain faithful to Him.

Thank you very much for the prayers!
 
Take a look at this link, there is even a PDF to print off… it explains what will go on at the Vigil

onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/prep-eastervigil.html

Joe
This is a great link, thank you. I think I’ll send them the PDF on Good Friday.
I think it may be best for them to not checkout the readings before the day. They are probably all familiar to them, but I’d like them to get the full effect of listening to them all in that order.
 
What a weekend! So many worries, feelings, happenings to process, wonderings what will happen, almost like you’ll have to wait a month to see if the proverbial shoe will drop. It’s the sort of thing that would make me want to run over to the church and sit in front of the Blessed Sacrament for some time, where there would be a figurative lap to lay my aching head in.

I’ll share something that has helped me work better with my husband. I’ve previously shared exactly the sort of feeling you did, when you explained to him that you were loving out of commitment right now. I don’t think it helped my husband any. Some feelings I now wait until I’ve had them for a while before allowing myself to express them, because if they change fairly quickly, then expressing them has just added to the pressure between us unnecessarily. My husband is very sensitive to being told that particular thing about commitment verses feeling, even if I were just intending to use it as an example. I used to think he wasn’t sensitive to anything I said at all, since it never seemed to matter what I said, as he is fairly uncommunicative about feelings, but I eventually figured it out that this one matters to him. The topic of children is also for us best reserved for a discussion with both of us having our attention on that topic alone, or at least having figured out in advance what I wanted to say about it in particular. Yes, I don’t have a leg to stand on advising this, but I do know it matters to reduce pressure. As a bonus, I end up feeling like he heard me better that way as well.

You know, I agree with what you’ve been saying about the full effect of the Easter Vigil. Just think, the candle coming in, “Christ our Light” and “Thanks be to God!” all sung and stuff. :highprayer:

It really sounds possible that your in-laws have been very controlling during your husband’s life. Most people would not express a concern that their parents would disrupt a religious service unless their their parents had a history of certain words and actions. He may have quite a road to walk to be free of this influence in his life. I can imagine lying could have developed as a way to escape them somewhat. I don’t mean to offer an excuse for any lies he told you. I hate being lied to, and it scrambles up trust completely. Rather, I mean that some of what is happening to you may all be of a piece. If they are super-controlling, they don’t really respect anyone, much less you. The “Christian” comment could be a pure control move. I have certainly seen that as a belief, though, but here, it seems to carry the control overtone. I’m especially suspicious of the health comments. I wish I knew what to tell you!

Everything I’ve said here could be totally irrelevant to your situation, but you wrote so much (and that is fine! :)), and I really want you to know that I heard and did listen, and it might be hard to tell that if I only wrote a sentence back. So I wrote more than I would otherwise, on that account. I don’t really have the wisdom to advise you here. Hugs! :hug3:
 
As I was reading your last post I was thinking that this may be your Lenten penance brought to you by Our Savior himself. I can imagine this is going to be such a trying time, but think of the pure joy you and your husband will have after he receives Jesus in the Holy Eucharist for the first time. All the torment will be worth it. I promise!!

To quote one of my favorite lines: It’s Friday, but Sunday is comin!!👍

Hang in there! You have a lot of people praying for you!
 
To give credit where credit is due my sponsor, who is now one of my best friends, pulled this information from me when I explained what you guys were dealing with. As I was almost a Protestant minister and was a Youth Director I had done years of research and was fully prepared to defend the Church before I even told my wife I wanted us to convert (still working on my mom but she’s clsoe :)) There rebuttals were minimal because I justified my conversion with scripture. David Armstrong’s website has some good info on it and his book “Catholic Verses” is good in that respect.

Anyway… take a look at the following information about Baptism and all of us being called to Priestly offices - Priest, Prophet and King!

*From the 2nd Vatican Council, the document Lumen Gentium (Dogmatic Constitution of the Church) expounds the concept of priestly, prophetic, and kingly people. It is at:

vatican.va/archive/hist_councils/ii_vatican_council/documents/vat-ii_const_19641121_lumen-gentium_en.html

Section 10 discusses the priestly office. A biblical root that it cites is Revelation 1:6. Unfortunately, the Vatican has yet to hyperlink its footnotes! Also, the footnote states “Apocalypse 6” instead of 1:6, which is where the quote they give is actually from.

Section 12 discusses the prophetic office. It cites 1 John 2: 20-27. That passage is a remarkable meditation on the doctrinal unity of the Church, and its origins in the anointing of the Holy Spirit. Again, some sloppy editing is present; they left the “1” off of “1 John”.

The last paragraph of Section 26 states that “[The bishops] direct the conferring of baptism, by which a sharing in the kingly priesthood of Christ is granted.” I could not find a handy scripture citation for this, unfortunately.

Section 31 mentions the three offices together in the context of the laity.
*

I’ll be out tomorrow but if you have any specific questions that I can help with PM me and I’ll definitely try to help!

In Christ,

Joe
 
Take a look at this link, there is even a PDF to print off… it explains what will go on at the Vigil

onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/prep-eastervigil.html

Joe
One more suggestion, ask your RCIA leader about the specifics for the way YOUR Parish does the Vigil.

At ours, your guests would need to be advised to arrive AT LEAST 30 minutes before the beginning to get a seat - it will be Standing Room Only. The Vigil does not begin until after dark.

At our parish, your guests would not be not be sitting with you. There are pews reserved for those coming into the Church, their sponsors and spouse and children. All the other guests, extended family and parishioners will have the remainder of the pews.

At our parish, we would suggest you tell them that the Mass will take between 2 and 3 hours. After the Vigil there is a buffet dinner for all those who came in, the sponsors and all the families/guests. Bottom line, it is going to be a LATE night. If your MIL has an early Easter Sunday service at her congregation, it will be wise to let her know what the schedule for Sat PM will be.
 
You said something interesting…something like you would not want him to convert unless it was a true conversion and he wanted to do it…so has he completely accepted the fact of conversion or is he still even being pulled by feelings of not knowing what he wants to do?? I get the sense here that he really doesn’t know what he wants to do. I may be over analzying it, but just my sense. I think either way, whether it be by his parents pulling or even you pulling, that he needs to make up his own mind for himself and his relationship with Christ. I am protestant and my husband is Catholic. I would never ask him to convert, argue about it, ask about it or anything to my husband. If he wants to convert that is completely up to him. If I ever wanted to convert that would be completely up to me. But I would hope that I would never have to have in the back of mind that I pushed him to it or nagged him to do it. I am not saying that is what you have done at all. But he sounds like a man that wants to make everybody in his life happy, even at the expense of himself and his relationship with God. As far as him telling his parents that he would like for you to convert and prayed it. I will be honest, I pray that all the time for my husband, as I am sure that he prays the same for me to convert to be Catholic. I don’t take offense to it at all. The funny thing here is…if someone comes on here and says they are praying privately and telling people here they want their spouse to convert, it is accepted with hugs and kisses…let a protestant on here say something about praying about it and see what you get, it is then deception. Two different standards if you ask me. I hope for the both of you though that whether he convert or stay protestant that you both can learn to accept one another for what each are and that is a Christian who both love God and that is the bottom line of this. You both sound like really good people that love the Lord and have a love for family. God Bless You Both.
 
I think I need to add this in case my above message is misunderstood. I think it is great if he does convert and can truly do it without any question or concerns, especially for the unity of your family (you and him). It would be best for the both of you. I was just making the point above of my husband and I. I think if he converted and it was not sincere for him, then he probably will not remain true to it for a long-term time and it would be more hurtful to me to know that he then had to come back years later and said, you know I had doubts then and so I am going back. That would be more hurtful to me. So if it were my husband, I would want him to be complete sure and as I also said, to do it for Christ and what he believed. I just felt like I needed to say that, just in case my above statement was taken out of context. I pray the best for you both.
 
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