Infertility

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hello. i’ve spent some time reading this thread and now i find myself wondering if anyone here understands what it’s like to have given birth to one child (my birthson who i love with All my heart- i was 17 when i had him and not married to the birthfather nor did we have the resources at the time to start raising a family)…and now years later I find myself married to the most wonderful man and not able to have a child with him (at least yet- it’s been almost 2 years now of trying). To put it into words is pretty futile at best but frustrating comes to mind. I know that God has a plan for us whether or not we have children but I can’t help feeling kind of alone in all this. most people who’ve experienced this type of loss have never known what it is like to have a child in the first place and after grieving for the loss of him- the idea of not having one to raise as my own- sigh. does anyone out there understand? thanks.
 
I didn’t place a child for adoption, but I did lose a foster baby who went back to live with her birth parents, who have a history of all sorts of abuse. Meanwhile, we can’t have any children of our own. The birthparents have 12 children between them. I’m so sorry for your situation. Do you have ongoing contact with your son?
 
I also meant to say rosaryforlife, that I applaud and in awe of your courageous decision to make an adoption plan when you didn’t see another option available. It is people like you who make people like me hopeful that one day an adopted child will join our family.
 
Rosaryforlife,
I just want to tell you that I have been praying for you for a long time, and for all birthmothers. What you did is the most selfless, courageous, loving gift anyone can ever possibly give. You not only gave life to your child, but you created a family. I thank God for all birthmoms, not just my daughter’s. As an adoptive mom, I must tell you how much you are appreciated. I don’t know how you feel, but I know how much infertility hurts, and how much joy is brought to families who adopt. Thank you again for your loving and brave choice. God bless you!
 
thank you both for your words of encouragement and thanks. Really, I’ve always believed that God is who is in charge when it comes to having children whether you raise them or not. I think He chose my son’s parents before we even knew about them or that we would be in that situation in the first place. That being said, thank you again for your kind words and especially for the prayers.
Chovy, I hope you are one day able to nurture children in your life whether it be through parenthood or otherwise…I’m so sorry for your situation of having to return your foster child to abusive birthparents. I have Never been able to understand how people can be so irresponcible. I do have some contact with my birthson though it is really through his mom. She is wonderful. We email eachother from time to time and update eachother on our lives…she wasn’t able to conceive for 10 years and then they adopted our son when she was 31. They then went on to have another son biologically. They’re both little miracles and I hope and pray for a day when my birthson will understand why we did what we did and that I love him very much. I wish for days when we can “hang out” and talk about life. But I understand too that any future relationship is up to him. We used to have short visits when he was a bit younger but I feel that now he is almost a teenager and deserves to “find himself” without the pressure of having to maintain a distant relationship with me. So, I’m just hoping and praying that one day he may want to get to know me better. I just love his family to death though. They are like my own family…even though we’re not related.
Oh well, I rambled on enough. Sorry so long,
thanks again for your posts!
 
Ugh. I’m convinced I’m getting pregnant this cycle and it’s only day 5! Why do I ride this roller coaster every month? The reasons I am so ridiculously confident are:

I get to go back on pergonal this month. I get to take 16 shots, and I now ovulate without any medications. The last time I took plentiful pergonal I got pregnant (but lost the baby), and that was way before having surgeries which corrected my hormonal issues. If I had 10 mature follicles with 40 shots pre-surgery, maybe I’ll have at least 3 or 4 with 16 shots post-surgery.

I will be able to test the first week in August. My father passed away 10 years ago Aug. 2nd. and my birthday is Jul 31. I’d like to think that after 5 years of asking him (and every Saint I can think of) for intercession, perhaps he will help us receive this gift as I still grieve his loss.

That’s it! There’s nothing else telling me that this month will be different than all of the rest. Why oh why do I set myself up for disappointment? I’m not trying to be negative, just realistic, while still clinging to ludicrous levels of optimism.

Ahh… I guess I better just buckle up and enjoy the ride. (Double entendre not intended but not avoided either).
 
Chovy said:
Ugh. I’m convinced I’m getting pregnant this cycle and it’s only day 5! Why do I ride this roller coaster every month? The reasons I am so ridiculously confident are:

I get to go back on pergonal this month. I get to take 16 shots, and I now ovulate without any medications. The last time I took plentiful pergonal I got pregnant (but lost the baby), and that was way before having surgeries which corrected my hormonal issues. If I had 10 mature follicles with 40 shots pre-surgery, maybe I’ll have at least 3 or 4 with 16 shots post-surgery.

I will be able to test the first week in August. My father passed away 10 years ago Aug. 2nd. and my birthday is Jul 31. I’d like to think that after 5 years of asking him (and every Saint I can think of) for intercession, perhaps he will help us receive this gift as I still grieve his loss.

That’s it! There’s nothing else telling me that this month will be different than all of the rest. Why oh why do I set myself up for disappointment? I’m not trying to be negative, just realistic, while still clinging to ludicrous levels of optimism.

Ahh… I guess I better just buckle up and enjoy the ride. (Double entendre not intended but not avoided either).
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**CHOVY I AM SO SORRY ABOUT ALL OF THIS. :console: I SENT YOU AN EMAIL W/ MORE BUT TYPING IN BED NOW. JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING OF YOU AND PRAYING FOR YOU DURING THIS TRYING TIME.:gopray2:

TO ALL: I HAVE OFFERED MY CONDITION AND SUFFERINGS RELATED TO IT FOR ALL OF YOU YOU. I CAN’T EXPLAIN MUCH NOW, BUT THE PELVIC INFECTION I HAVE (PID) CAN HAVE DAMAGING EFFECTS ON FERTILITY INCLUDING PERMANENT AND IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE. IT LASTS 2-6 WEEKS IF YOUR LUCKY AND LONGER WITH SEVERE COMPLICATIONS. LONG ROAD AHEAD I GUESS. BUT ANYHOO KNOW THAT ITS ALL FOR YOU AND OTHERS I AM PRAYING FOR. 👍

BLESSINGS TO YOU CHOVY AND TO ALL HERE.🙂
**
 
Many prayers Chovy for you at this time. I am also at a hopeful and expectant stage. So I will offer my thoughts and prayers in communion with yours.

Convert, many prayers for you as well with this infection. May God give you the graces needed to persevere. In the midst of trials I cling to the knowledge that the “Lord is kind and merciful.” He does not burden us with more than we can carry. Much love.
 
waitngnjyflhope said:
Many prayers Chovy for you at this time. I am also at a hopeful and expectant stage. So I will offer my thoughts and prayers in communion with yours.

Convert, many prayers for you as well with this infection. May God give you the graces needed to persevere. In the midst of trials I cling to the knowledge that the “Lord is kind and merciful.” He does not burden us with more than we can carry. Much love.
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THANK YOU! YOU ARE SO VERY KIND! 🙂 PRAYERS FOR YOU AS WELL! 👍
 
**Hello everyone!

I went to the ER last night, and it was a good thing I did. They discovered the cause of my pelvic infection and fluid retention in my lower abdomen, back and thighs.**

I have two large ovarian cysts. One on each side. I am to try the medications for 3-5 days. If the swelling (a sign of infection) dosen’t go down some by then I am to go back to the doctor. The next step is to have them surgically drained.

**The hardest part was that I had a false positive on my pregnancy test. My hopes were held so high for two hours. Then, they came back and the second and third came out negative. That made me so very sad. But, thankfully, as it would have most likely been ectopic with this much pain. So very sad, and yet a blessing, all at the same time. I cried and cried for hours. It made me so sad to hear “pregnant” and then twice more “not.” I am sure that’s happened to others here. 😦 **

Just an update. Thanks for all the prayers. Hope all is well here. Blessings and prayers for all.
 
((((((Convert in 99))))))

I’m so sorry to hear about the false positive, but happy that you’re going to be okay. Thank goodness you went to the doctor!
 
Convert_in_99 said:
**Hello everyone!

I went to the ER last night, and it was a good thing I did. They discovered the cause of my pelvic infection and fluid retention in my lower abdomen, back and thighs.**

I have two large ovarian cysts. One on each side. I am to try the medications for 3-5 days. If the swelling (a sign of infection) dosen’t go down some by then I am to go back to the doctor. The next step is to have them surgically drained.

**The hardest part was that I had a false positive on my pregnancy test. My hopes were held so high for two hours. Then, they came back and the second and third came out negative. That made me so very sad. But, thankfully, as it would have most likely been ectopic with this much pain. So very sad, and yet a blessing, all at the same time. I cried and cried for hours. It made me so sad to hear “pregnant” and then twice more “not.” I am sure that’s happened to others here. 😦 **

Just an update. Thanks for all the prayers. Hope all is well here. Blessings and prayers for all.
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Oh dear! I hope your pain, both physical and not physical, will abate soon. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.
 
Chovy said:
Ugh. I’m convinced I’m getting pregnant this cycle and it’s only day 5! Why do I ride this roller coaster every month? The reasons I am so ridiculously confident are:

I get to go back on pergonal this month. I get to take 16 shots, and I now ovulate without any medications. The last time I took plentiful pergonal I got pregnant (but lost the baby), and that was way before having surgeries which corrected my hormonal issues. If I had 10 mature follicles with 40 shots pre-surgery, maybe I’ll have at least 3 or 4 with 16 shots post-surgery.

I will be able to test the first week in August. My father passed away 10 years ago Aug. 2nd. and my birthday is Jul 31. I’d like to think that after 5 years of asking him (and every Saint I can think of) for intercession, perhaps he will help us receive this gift as I still grieve his loss.

That’s it! There’s nothing else telling me that this month will be different than all of the rest. Why oh why do I set myself up for disappointment? I’m not trying to be negative, just realistic, while still clinging to ludicrous levels of optimism.

Ahh… I guess I better just buckle up and enjoy the ride. (Double entendre not intended but not avoided either).
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Chovy,

I know exactly how you feel. Although not as bad now, I still play mind games with myself. Sometimes it can be too much to bear. I will continue to pray for you and all the people here.
 
rosaryforlife said:
hello. i’ve spent some time reading this thread and now i find myself wondering if anyone here understands what it’s like to have given birth to one child (my birthson who i love with All my heart- i was 17 when i had him and not married to the birthfather nor did we have the resources at the time to start raising a family)…and now years later I find myself married to the most wonderful man and not able to have a child with him (at least yet- it’s been almost 2 years now of trying). To put it into words is pretty futile at best but frustrating comes to mind. I know that God has a plan for us whether or not we have children but I can’t help feeling kind of alone in all this. most people who’ve experienced this type of loss have never known what it is like to have a child in the first place and after grieving for the loss of him- the idea of not having one to raise as my own- sigh. does anyone out there understand? thanks.
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What a beautiful and giving soul you are. You are an inspiration to all of us. You have chosen to be charitable and kind when you could be bitter and angry over your situation. My only insight is that each and every situation must be discerned. At the time that you gave birth to your son, you discerned God’s will for him at that particular moment in time. Now, as you suffer this current cross, you need to discern what God’s plan is for you. Thank you so much for this post. It helps all of us to remember the great sacrifice that birthmoms make in allowing us to raise their children. Many prayers coming your way.
 
Just an update! I am praying for you all and offering my sufferings for you to conceive!
Well the cysts are not responding to medication so far. We are seeing a GYN. The most common treatment is Birth Control. NO WAY! So the surgery is the next step if they don’t pop first.
**Thanks for all of your prayers and support right now. I hope to be back to normal again soon. Though, I don’t even know what normal is anymore. It seems that when I just start getting used to one pain, another comes. 🤷 **
 
Convert, I’m sorry to hear that. Has your doctor said anything about these cysts maybe causing you to be infertile? My gyn was fairly certain that mine were why I wasn’t ovulating. Maybe you’ll get these drained and things will get back to normal for you.
 
Convert_in_99 said:
**Thanks for all of your prayers and support right now. I hope to be back to normal again soon. Though, I don’t even know what normal is anymore. It seems that when I just start getting used to one pain, another comes. 🤷 **
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Yup, I remember this phase all too well. I would be asked how “much” pain I was in. Was it a normal level. I remember thinking, "We need a new definition of ‘normal’ because this isn’t normal!
 
Well everyone I have good news and bad news.

**The good news is I will most likely not have to have the surgery now. They did a repeat ultrasound today and one of the cysts (the smaller one) popped on its own. They checked the larger cyst and saw hemorraging. I guess with cysts that is a good thing. It should pop within a month or two. I have an appointment at that time and if it still hasn’t popped then they will look into the surgical draining. The only thing to speed up the process is birth control pills or DP. NO WAY! **

All the pain I have had recently was the small one popping and the increased swelling is due to its bursting. So, it could get ugly when the larger one bursts. But, then I should heal nicely once it does.

**The GYN didn’t see much alarm in my fertility. She seemed to think everything looked good, and that 1.5 years isn’t that terribly long trying. She seemed very hopeful. She gave me cause for hope. 🙂 **

The bad news is this pain and infection might last for another month or two. So I just have to lay low until I feel a repeat increase of symptoms (which means that the cyst is popping.)
 
My husband and I have been trying for 2 1/2 years. We went to a special Mass and were blessed with a relic of St. Gerard in October. Right after that I didn’t get a period for 4 months. It was very frustrating. I don’t know how many times I’ve been to the doctor since then. Suffice it to say that I think I could give myself an ultrasound and interpret it by now.

Chovy,
I do the rollercoaster every month too. I always think I’ve given up, but then the hope creeps in and drives me crazy.
 
dostoyevsky said:
. Right after that I didn’t get a period for 4 months. It was very frustrating. I don’t know how many times I’ve been to the doctor since then. Suffice it to say that I think I could give myself an ultrasound and interpret it by now.
On the humerous side of things, when my best friend (who formerly did struggle with infertility) and I heard Tom Cruise had purchased an ultrasound machine for Katie Holmes when she was pregnant, we thought it was one of his more sane moves. I’m easily into the hundreds as far as how many ultrasounds I’ve had. I could look every day if I had my own machine and I know I could figure it out.
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