Infertility

[Convert_in_99]

Convert,

I see the loss of having children as something to grieve over. Remember the stages of grief? Denial, anger, etc. I believe that we must travel through those stages. You may be in the angry stage right now. It’s difficult, too, because you are not sure if and how your infertility may be resolved. You want to still have hope of becoming pregnant, but then you just get disappointed and have to start grieving again each month it does not happen. At my age, I am pretty sure my possibility of conceiving is quite small, so that hope has diminished quite a bit…along with the continual monthly grieving. Plus, we have reached a resolution! We have a beautiful family of children that we are so very thankful for. Everyone handles grief differently. Perhaps some spiritual direction from a priest or other person may be beneficial? You’ve mentioned before that you need to talk to people about this. Maybe call in to Catholic radio–Ray Guarendi or Gregory Popczak?

Prayers continuing for you and all on this thread.

**This is very much where I’m at. The greif/anger stage. I’m trying to get completely over the idea of ever having any children naturally or adoptive. If I think never, then maybe it will happen. If I keep hoping, then its bound to not happen. That’s how it seems to work with my experience. Trying to get over the idea of ever having children 100% completely. That’s what I’m working towards. Hope I get to my goal sooner than later. **

**All I know is my Catholic brothers and sisters are NOT helping me at ALL! Not you all of course, you are a blessing. **

**But seriously when’s the last time you heard a catholic or read something catholic that said “YAY for you! You promote the gospel of life every day. You may not have children, but you promote it in not turning to immoral means to have them. You promote it by being 100% open to life with every marital act. You promote it by being in a life giving communion of love with your spouse. It’s still livegiving even when not fertile.” Nope…we’re not “real” or “good” catholics cause we cannot have kids. We are called to have our “problem” fixed. Not live out life as is. That is seemingly not an option…or at least not a “good” or “honorable” one. **

 

[dkoinzan]

Convert99,
You should check out “The Women of Grace” books. See if there is a group near you. It is amazing! It explains that we are not just women in body, but also in soul. We were created to bring life. I really never gave that much thought, but it is true. The thing is that we aren’t just suppose to bring physical life into this world, but also spiritual life. God made us to be life giving and bring life into this world wether spiritual or physical and both can be difficult. Right now God may not be asking you to be a physical Mother, but maybe a spiritual Mother.

 

[Truly_Beloved]

I am really unfamiliar with this thread, but I wanted to pop in here and ask a question.

I had a dream last night, where I was supposed to be praying for a woman named Jennifer. I don’t know anyone named Jennifer, so I thought I would check here. In my dream, Jennifer was a 31 year old trying to conceive, and she was turning 32 in 4 months. Jennifer and her husband do not have children yet. The only other detail I can remember about the dream was seeing cherubs crying on a single white rose, which was sprouting from a cabbage plant. Weird, I know, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.

So, if this sounds like anyone here, I’d be very grateful to have the opportunity to pray for you. Either PM me or let me know in this thread. Thank you!

God bless all you ladies (and gents) praying for little ones ~

 

[SeekerJen]

I had a dream last night, where I was supposed to be praying for a woman named Jennifer. I don’t know anyone named Jennifer, so I thought I would check here. In my dream, Jennifer was a 31 year old trying to conceive, and she was turning 32 in 4 months. Jennifer and her husband do not have children yet. The only other detail I can remember about the dream was seeing cherubs crying on a single white rose, which was sprouting from a cabbage plant. Weird, I know, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.

So, if this sounds like anyone here, I’d be very grateful to have the opportunity to pray for you. Either PM me or let me know in this thread. Thank you!

Well, I’m only 29 so it’s not me (yet!). I’m sure it applies to someone here, though. Thanks anyway!

I had a funny experience this weekend. Two years ago this probably would have had me in the bathroom crying, but now I was struggling not to laugh. We were with DH’s family after his grandmother’s funeral. His aunt was sitting with us at the table, looking back and forth between us. Finally she said “I’m just trying to imagine what your kids will look like. I know they’ll be beautiful.” I had to be careful not to catch DH’s eye, or SIL’s eye (she knows that we can’t conceive and plan to adopt) because we were all thinking “Lady, you have no idea…and neither do we!”

 

[dkoinzan]

I visited Dr. Hilger’s today. We went over the surgery. It went well, but it was decided that my abnormal cycle is probably premenopausal. We are incouraged not to attempt pregnancy without assistance, hormonal supplements a clomid. Now we aren’t sure what our next step will be.

 

[waitngnjyflhope]

Praying for you, dk. May our Lady wrap you in her mantle and gently bring you closer to her son.

 

[Chovy]

I visited Dr. Hilger’s today. We went over the surgery. It went well, but it was decided that my abnormal cycle is probably premenopausal. We are incouraged not to attempt pregnancy without assistance, hormonal supplements a clomid. Now we aren’t sure what our next step will be.

I’m sorry to hear that Dkoinzan. Prayers for you and your husband as you work through this.

 

[Caeryl]

Have you ever thought that maybe God is calling you to adopt?

I am part of a couple that can not conceive. We adopted two very special angels who were born in another country… But there are so many waiting angels…

I do believe in my heart that we were chosen to adopt. I never had the desire to be pregnant… I did have a desire for a child though…

we never regretted our decision to adopt…

Caeryl

 

[dkoinzan]

I am not sure what it is that God wants us to do. I have not ever felt a strong pull to adopt. I am always excited for those that do and I am always amazed at how God works, but I am not sure I could do it. As I spend time before Jesus, it seems I am being asked to give witness to trusting God’s will in our lives. I love all my children, those that are with me and those that are in heaven, and I feel that God has asked that we show others that it is ok to suffer and that there is joy in our suffering. It breaks my heart to not have been able to see Theresa and Joseph live and grow, but it gives me great joy to know they are in heaven. It amazes me each day to find that they are in my heart just as their brother and sisters are. I care for them every bit as much and my love for them is every bit as endless. I always tell Jesus that I really want to do his will, but my will is very strong and often very wrong, so I lay my will aside and find a way to make it all for the love of Jesus. Often times I tell Jesus to make the impossible happen so that I can see with my blind eyes. In the mean time I will ask Our Lady of Hope to go to Jesus for me. She knows how I have cried out to her and she loves me more than I love my own children. She will ask Jesus what to do. I honored her with my Theresa on Mother’s Day. I Named my Baby Joseph Marie after her and Joseph. She knows my sorrows and she holds me through it all. I trust that I am loved beyond what I can fathom. God has something special planned, he always does.

 

[Caeryl]

My husband and I did adopt two children. they are now 15 and 18 years of age.

. Each agency will have their own rules about the ages of the parents… If you choose to adopt internationally, then the country will dictate.

There are so many adoption options out there now…

Once we knew that there was a fertility issue, we know the cause of the infertility and knew that our time would be better served if we just went for the adoption.
I know that God had meant for us to adopt.

I wish everyone on this thread well on their own journeys to making your families…

Caeryl

 

[waitngnjyflhope]

We’ve been quiet for some time as of late. I’m sure it will be a little quiet as we enter into the Holidays of November and December.

I did have a question though to put on the forum.

Wondering if anybody has information about progesterone creams. Which ones tried, over the counter or needing prescriptions, any other info it would be go for others to know.

Thanks!

 

[Teakafrog]

I have an online friend on another forum who is having problems. His wife and he have been trying to have a baby, and between the stress of it all and all the hormones they’ve both had pumped into them, it got to be too much and she left. I feel SO bad for him. But I relate. I know that the infertility was probably one of the big reasons our marriage fell apart. It was always there, looming in the background. And the treatments themselves…ugh! I know clomid made me feel like a raging homicidal maniac. If they were both on hormones, I shudder to think. Anyway, please add them to your prayers. I’m hoping he can talk her into going to Retrouvaille.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I have an online friend on another forum who is having problems. His wife and he have been trying to have a baby, and between the stress of it all and all the hormones they’ve both had pumped into them, it got to be too much and she left. I feel SO bad for him. But I relate. I know that the infertility was probably one of the big reasons our marriage fell apart. It was always there, looming in the background. And the treatments themselves…ugh! I know clomid made me feel like a raging homicidal maniac. If they were both on hormones, I shudder to think. Anyway, please add them to your prayers. I’m hoping he can talk her into going to Retrouvaille.

**That’s why I won’t touch hormones with a ten foot pole. I’m messed up enough without them. I can’t imagine what I would be like WITH them.

I will certainly say a prayer for this couple. So sad. It just shows how much infertility hurts. I hope that they can get back together again, this time med free. Fertility medications and hormones are just really not meant for some people, baby or no.

**

 

[Cagrl]

Convert99,
You should check out “The Women of Grace” books. See if there is a group near you. It is amazing! It explains that we are not just women in body, but also in soul. We were created to bring life. I really never gave that much thought, but it is true. The thing is that we aren’t just suppose to bring physical life into this world, but also spiritual life. God made us to be life giving and bring life into this world wether spiritual or physical and both can be difficult. Right now God may not be asking you to be a physical Mother, but maybe a spiritual Mother.

I have this book and it is awesome! I recommend it too.

dkoinzan, very good insight. I think you have a point that maybe what our Lord may be calling her to be a spiritual mother right now. Things happen for a reason. God speaks to us through people so God might be trying to tell you somethng through dkoinzan, Convert99. We pray for what we desire but only he knows what’s best for us and why and when. I guess the tough part at times is us accepting what He deems fit (can be the hardest part for me). But through prayer, I also believe He helps us accept the situations we are given.

Good point, dkoinzan.

 

[Convert_in_99]

I have this book and it is awesome! I recommend it too.

dkoinzan, very good insight. I think you have a point that maybe what our Lord may be calling her to be a spiritual mother right now. Things happen for a reason. God speaks to us through people so God might be trying to tell you somethng through dkoinzan, Convert99. We pray for what we desire but only he knows what’s best for us and why and when. I guess the tough part at times is us accepting what He deems fit (can be the hardest part for me). But through prayer, I also believe He helps us accept the situations we are given.

Good point, dkoinzan.

**Yes Cagrl! Dkoinzan has helped me in more ways than one. She is so thoughtful, faithfilled and insightful. I really do learn lots from her.

I once wrote down a post she made to me and kept it in my pocket. I would read and reread that post. It really made my day!

So…thank you Jesus for dkoinzan! :hug1:
**

 

[mom2boyz]

**Okay, I know that most of you won’t be able to relate yet, but in the last few days I have been thankful for our infertility. I never thought I would be able to say this. I am heading toward menopause, but suffered many years with infertility. Oh the painful longing for a child I remember so well. I still read all the posts. I only share this so that you might someday know that there can be a light at the end of the tunnel. **

**DH came home the other day and told me a Catholic friend of his had gotten a vasectomy. I felt very sad that the friend felt the need to share this with my Dh. Dh is a convert, but still in the Cafeteria stage. I felt very grateful that we would never be faced with that kind of decision. It feels like the infertility has allowed us to avoid that kind of sin. There are so many ways to have to work to avoid sin, but at least in this area we don’t have to work. We won’t have to experience the kind of regret that may come this person’s way. It has been a long journey to get to this point. **

 

[Cagrl]

**Yes Cagrl! Dkoinzan has helped me in more ways than one. She is so thoughtful, faithfilled and insightful. I really do learn lots from her. **

I once wrote down a post she made to me and kept it in my pocket. I would read and reread that post. It really made my day!

So…thank you Jesus for dkoinzan! :hug1:

Wow…that is so wonderful to have someone around with such insight because they will point things out that we would have never thought of!! What a blessing!

 

[dkoinzan]

Ladies please… I am not all that and a bag of chips. When I have a clear thought it is only by the grace of God. If you keep it up I will have to go inlarge the doorways on my basement project before its done. You can always thank God for me though!

 

[aurora77]

Mom2boyz, I understand what you’re saying! I can’t be tempted to fall (again unfortunately) into the sin of ABC or permanent sterilization. My DH isn’t Catholic, so that could have potentially become an issue. While I wouldn’t have chosen to be in the situation that we’re in now, at least it’s one less area of sin to be tempted by!

 

[Cagrl]

Ladies please… I am not all that and a bag of chips. When I have a clear thought it is only by the grace of God. If you keep it up I will have to go inlarge the doorways on my basement project before its done. You can always thank God for me though!

Hehehehe… You are too funny and cute! Yes, we thank God because some of us can use some insight to set us straight when things just don’t makes sense. I know I need it very often. I just don’t get it some times. But I pray maybe one day I will get it.