Infertility

[dkoinzan]

Thanks Teakafrog!
I would love one more child born healthy.

 

[LovingHim]

Praying for you. I know that decision must have taken a great deal of faith. May God reward you for it with a healthy child.

I second this! Please Jesus may it be so, according to Your will. God bless you dear. I am so happy for you. We also have forgone the natural family planning efforts. We have just left it entirely up to Him and His timing. He knows best.

 

[Teakafrog]

Well, this has been a tough couple of days. We saw one cousin at Easter who is 8 1/2 mo pregnant, saw another cousin’s 5mo old, and today just got pictures of a third cousin’s baby that was born yesterday. I’m happy for them all, but it still just makes my heart ache. I want another baby so bad. I feel myself getting older, and know that it’s going to be harder (although every one of these cousins is older than me–go figure:shrug: ). Anyway, it’s just been tough dealing with the mixed emotions. It’s not really jealousy, because I really am happy for them. I’m just sad for us at the same time. Then I feel bad for that, because I know we’ve been blessed to have the kids that we do have, and I am so glad to have them. There’s still just this … hole…that needs to be filled by another baby. OK, I’m done whining now, I guess.

 

[Revert97]

Yes, you are blessed. I would love to have even one at this point. Happy Easter, and may the Risen Lord bless you and grant your desires!

 

[LovingHim]

Yes, you are blessed. I would love to have even one at this point. Happy Easter, and may the Risen Lord bless you and grant your desires!

I second this. I might have an army in heaven, but how I would like just one to hold on earth. I do so hope, Teak, that you will get the large family your heart is aching for soon. Until then, let God fill the void, cause only He can ultimately anyways. He’ll make it all better. And give those three miracles of yours extra love and kisses for us.

 

[Teakafrog]

See, you guys, that’s what I mean! I feel bad for feeling bad, but the pain of infertility just doesn’t go away. I have had 2 bio kids and adopted one, and I still consider myself infertile. I want the next baby almost as much as I wanted the first one. It becomes such a part of your life, all the testing and drugs and charting and waiting and hoping…it doesn’t just disappear when you finally have a child. Secondary infertility is just as hard as primary infertility, as least to me, having been through both.

 

[dkoinzan]

I would agree Teakafrog. Before I had my first child they told me I would be fortunate if I ever had any. I prayed desperately! There has been no oops babies in my house. You never stop loving the ones you have or wanting more. They are truly a gift!!! I tried and prayed every day for three years to have the ones I have. The children that took only a month to conceive are the children who have died. I think we all have crosses to carry and our crosses are not to be compared. They are just what we need to get to heaven. We need to hold each other up in prayer. I have a wonderful friend she has seven girls. She has miscarried twice. The oldest has autism and the youngest who is six has something wrong with her heart. She isn’t expected to live long. She is thankful for the ones she has and the ones in heaven and the ones who may go to heaven soon. She has what God has given and we pray that what ever God wants is what we get. Life is messy and hard sometimes and life is peaceful only when you do as God wills for you even during the sorrowful times.

 

[LovingHim]

I would agree Teakafrog. Before I had my first child they told me I would be fortunate if I ever had any. I prayed desperately! There has been no oops babies in my house. You never stop loving the ones you have or wanting more. They are truly a gift!!! I tried and prayed every day for three years to have the ones I have. The children that took only a month to conceive are the children who have died. I think we all have crosses to carry and our crosses are not to be compared. They are just what we need to get to heaven. We need to hold each other up in prayer. I have a wonderful friend she has seven girls. She has miscarried twice. The oldest has autism and the youngest who is six has something wrong with her heart. She isn’t expected to live long. She is thankful for the ones she has and the ones in heaven and the ones who may go to heaven soon. She has what God has given and we pray that what ever God wants is what we get. Life is messy and hard sometimes and life is peaceful only when you do as God wills for you even during the sorrowful times.

This is so very beautiful! And you are right. We can’t (and shouldn’t) compare our sufferings. Cause what’s suffering for one might not be for another, and so on.

Teakafrog, you are going through just as hard a time as we are. I don’t want you to think that I insinuated you weren’t. It may be a different cross, but it doesn’t make it lighter or easier to carry. Crosses are difficult, no matter what they might be. If I am falling very often carrying my little splinter around, and when I realize what Jesus carried and how perfectly He did, I feel so sheepish. But, I am sure He’s happy that I’m trying, and I know He’s the same with you. He knows our crosses are but splinters of what we carried, but how they feel like they are the whole thing. He understands, I understand, just because your situation is different, doesn’t make it any less. Please know that. And, just know that I’m praying alongside you for you and me and all who have trouble making babies, or carrying babies, or both. I pray that God blesses you very soon with more children, both biological and adopted.

 

[Revert97]

AMEN! Sometimes, it seems soooo much tougher when your family has babies, and you dont…

 

[yessisan]

I’ve been lurking for a while but never posted here before…

I’m beginning to think I have infertility problems. I used to use ABC when I was unaware the CC was against it. I used it for a yr in my marriage, and when I found out it was wrong, it took me a little while to stop using it. I stopped on 3/15/07, I had been married for almost a yr.

A month later, we took an NFP class and have been using NFP since then. We were supposed to be tta, but just being married for a yr, well, uhm… I think you get the idea from April to August last yr, we weren’t really tta nor ttc, but we did BD during fertile times every one of those months, and didn’t get pregnant. Every time I got AF, I’d feel sad, but then a bit relieved because my DH isn’t Catholic and I was waiting for him to agree that I could raise our children Catholic. So, finally he agreed, so we actively started ttc in August last yr. I got pregnant in my 2nd cycle of ttc, but that joy only lasted 9 wks 2 days . I miscarried the baby on 12/3/07.

Ever since, we’ve been ttc, but nothing. (Well, DH isn’t living at home, last month would’ve been a complete miracle if I had gotten pg). This month though, we celebrated our 2 yr anniversary and well, we BD’d. I still don’t have clear signs of ovulation, but more likely than not, I’m not pg, again .

Then, somehow I started thinking… I haven’t used ABC for a a whole yr already, and we never really tta, and miscarried our first and only baby… maybe I do have fertility problems. I mean, it’s always been my fear, ever since I was little, that I wouldn’t be able to be a mom. My mom lost twins, my grandma lost 2 babies, my mom’s sister lost 5, 2 of my grandpa’s sisters lost a lot too, and one those 2 never carried to term, I think she had 9 losses. And just because I’ve loved babies ever since I can remember, I think I won’t be able to have a baby ever . Even though doctors say infertility isn’t hereditary, I think otherwise. My sister too lost one when she was 18 or 19. So, you see, most of the women in my family have lost at least one baby, that brings me to the conclusion that infertility is hereditary.

I don’t know, maybe I’m just a bit depressed, since I just learned that one of the girls who was one of my best friends, who stopped talking to me when I broke up with the guy I was engaged to before I met my husband, is about to have a baby. Since then I’ve been feeling down. How can it be that everyone I know is having babies and not me? Even my mom’s cousin who is 35 and has hyper-thyroidism just got pregnant after so many yrs of infertility treatment… I feel like it’s never going to happen for me…

 

[dkoinzan]

Some forms of infertility are hereditary. You could have a problem, but you need to find a Catholic Doctor or at least one that believes in NFP and is capable of using your charts to figure out why you may be having trouble.

yessisan, you are always in my prayers.

 

[yessisan]

Some forms of infertility are hereditary. You could have a problem, but you need to find a Catholic Doctor or at least one that believes in NFP and is capable of using your charts to figure out why you may be having trouble.

yessisan, you are always in my prayers.

If I could, I would, but there aren’t any in my area… and my insurance is Kaiser, so I can only use Kaiser dr’s.

I have an appt with my OB next week, I’m going to talk to her and tell her all of this to see what she says… the only thing is that she told me not ttc for 2 months after the m/c but we didn’t listen since my NFP book and my instructor said it wasn’t necessary if I didn’t have complications or a d&c (which I didn’t).

You too are always in my prayers dkoinzan…

 

[Revert97]

Not even going to sugar coat this, but get new insurance…ASAP

 

[Teakafrog]

Not even going to sugar coat this, but get new insurance…ASAP

Yes, you need different insurance, and you need to see a Reproductive Endocrinologist if you really want to pursue an infertility workup/testing. Most OB’s don’t have much training in how to screen for or treat infertility, but that can be hard too, since most REs push things like IVF, which are against Church teaching.

 

[yessisan]

If I could get new insurance, I so would, but Kaiser is the best thing around here, plus, they’ve been my medical providers since I was 13.

They do have REs, so I’ll push it with my dr. She usually listens to me, so we’ll see where I get to in a wk from today. She’s actually the best out of 5 OB’s I’ve had in the past few yrs.

 

[aurora77]

I know that seeing other women be pregnat or with babies is still hard for me. Our licensing worker is pregnant! I wish her the best, but it’s still tough to meet with her.

I have some really exciting news. Our home study is almost done. We got the rough draft emailed to us today and it sounds good. She’s made us sound so smart! We’re almost there! We just have to get our license and then starting waiting!

 

[stadre]

I know that seeing other women be pregnat or with babies is still hard for me. Our licensing worker is pregnant! I wish her the best, but it’s still tough to meet with her.

I have some really exciting news. Our home study is almost done. We got the rough draft emailed to us today and it sounds good. She’s made us sound so smart! We’re almost there! We just have to get our license and then starting waiting!

Aurora, I am so happy for you!

 

[Teakafrog]

I know that seeing other women be pregnat or with babies is still hard for me. Our licensing worker is pregnant! I wish her the best, but it’s still tough to meet with her.

I have some really exciting news. Our home study is almost done. We got the rough draft emailed to us today and it sounds good. She’s made us sound so smart! We’re almost there! We just have to get our license and then starting waiting!

Yay! I remember what a relief it was to finally be finished with the homestudy. Then you’re right–the waiting game starts. I would jump every time the phone rang, hoping it was about a baby.

 

[LovingHim]

I know that seeing other women be pregnat or with babies is still hard for me. Our licensing worker is pregnant! I wish her the best, but it’s still tough to meet with her.

I have some really exciting news. Our home study is almost done. We got the rough draft emailed to us today and it sounds good. She’s made us sound so smart! We’re almost there! We just have to get our license and then starting waiting!

I know what you mean about seeing them everywhere. Like at my Church. Every-single-sunday the newest and cutest babies and toddlers WILL sit right in front of me. They have the whole huge Church, and there isn’t that many of them in the later mass I attend, but, they, again, are like magnetized to us and the seats around us. It’s like they are just placed by God in front of you, ya know? And, well, maybe they are! To help us grow stronger in faith, to love others more, and ourselves less by praying for them and helping them love and accept many more blessings within. And, of course, to rely on and lean on God during these difficult moments. But, I believe it’s all for a purpose, even if it is crazy annoying and hard at times. God bless and keep you dear. Good luck on the fostering.

 

[dkoinzan]

I babysit to make ends meat. It was so incredibly hard to watch babies for other people after our two had died, but it was the best thing I ever did. I take care of two children that would be the age of each of the children that had died. The helped me heal!!!