Infertility

[LittleDeb]

How does the Catholic Church know that IVF is a sin? The procedure was only invented in the 1970s, so when was this decision made? How can an organisation determine God’s desire to such a degree of accuracy?

What makes IVF a sin? Is taking fertility drugs also a sin?

The joy we have received so far through IVF, could only have come from the Lord. I really feel like I’ve seen the true light in the last few weeks, and the truth really does set you free.

Thank you for responding charitably. It makes discussion so much easier.

I think the core of the discussion is your final thoughts here. Of course I agree with you that you have been brought joy because of your child, but I disagree that the joy is due to IVF. My friend has a son who is her joy as well. She is a rape survivor. She would gladly go through the rape again for the one and only result. That does not make her rape a good thing.

I know you believe that IVF was necessary to bring about your joy. I am here arguing that it was not. Our sinful society wants you to believe that and I read it in your statements (paraphrased): “It was our last hope.” and “We weren’t getting any younger.” Read those again. “Last hope” is very common, as is “we are too old.” No. Our first, middle, and last hope is God himself. And according to Scripture, we are never too old.

So the most basic argument for IVF is that it is God making the science capable of accomplishing the task. Now I hope we at least agree that there are things that science does that are most certainly **not **what God desires. Where we differ is in the discernment of IVF as God’s desire or not.

Simply put: we may *assist in *the natural process. We may not *supplant *it. A process that helps *heal *the body is moral (even if it makes you sick in the process like chemo.) A process that replaces the design is not. This is across the board in all things of faith and morals. IVF couples have a similar divorce rate as contracepting couples. Why? If the new life is such a joy (as opposed to the sadness of not having babies through contraception) why would they divorce at the same rate? What is it about the act of marriage that it is so important to maintain the integrity? What is it about supplanting the creative act that eventually destroys marriage? IVF does that.

The Church does not have rules to make us miserable. She has authority from God to keep us holy. Marriage is a gift from God. We deserve to know and live authentic marriage. A baby deserves the right to be brought into the world by God’s deliberate will. All babies are created by his deliberate will. The circumstances of conception need to be too.

 

[user3856530]

Simply put: we may assist in the natural process. We may not supplant it. A process that helps heal the body is moral (even if it makes you sick in the process like chemo.) A process that replaces the design is not.

In our case, we had a problem with our bodies. Our reproductive equipment was not working correctly. There was a problem with it. Some women have problems with their tubes and will never conceive naturally. IVF really was our last hope. Female fertility drops rapidly after age 35. My wife is in her forties now. My own fertility also decreases with age. This is natural design, you need to be fit and healthy to grow and give birth to a baby.

We didn’t do this without the aid of God. I visited the Child of Prague during the cycle, unaware that IVF was contrary to Catholic doctrine. It was a very trying time for us. It’s still up to God if the IVF works. Our IVF had about a 20% success rate, less the older you get. 0% if you don’t do it.

To use your example, should a person with cancer wait for divine intervention, or get chemotherapy? Time is ticking for them too as the cancer spreads.

Instead of conceiving in my wife’s womb, which there was a problem with, we instead opted to conceive out side of the womb. God was still the one that created this life. He created it in a petri dish - I just can’t see the problem with it!

Would a hip transplant be regarded as surplanting a natural process? Or prosthetics, or even eye glasses or hearing aids? Some people have artificial hips, we used an artificial womb.

IVF couples have a similar divorce rate as contracepting couples. Why? If the new life is such a joy (as opposed to the sadness of not having babies through contraception) why would they divorce at the same rate? What is it about the act of marriage that it is so important to maintain the integrity? What is it about supplanting the creative act that eventually destroys marriage? IVF does that.

There are far too many confounding factors for this to be a valid conclusion.

You really have to examine the data was sampled and underlying distribution before making such analysis. For example, how many Catholics have IVF done and are Catholics more or less likely to get divorced? When the data is biased such as this, you can not jump to the conclusion that IVF somehow destroys marriage. The obvious flaw is that religion itself has a bearing on IVF uptake.

 

[LittleDeb]

In our case, we had a problem with our bodies. Our reproductive equipment was not working correctly. There was a problem with it. Some women have problems with their tubes and will never conceive naturally. IVF really was our last hope. Female fertility drops rapidly after age 35. My wife is in her forties now. My own fertility also decreases with age. This is natural design, you need to be fit and healthy to grow and give birth to a baby.

I am very, very aware of infertility rates. You are, after all in an infertility support thread. As someone who has helped many couples well in to their forties to conceive naturally, your stats are again, biased by the agenda of IVF. That is certainly what they tell you about fertility rates “dropping,” But with charting and the right medications and supplements, conception *does *happen; frequently. The year my son was conceived, I ovulated twice. I was 33. When my daughter was conceived I had healed to nearly clockwork. I was 36. My fertility went up. (So do most people’s when they start healing.)

I know my posts are wordy, but I don’t think you are actually reading them. I addressed all of your points, even stating the morality of chemo by name. The replacement of a hip or a glass eye are not tied to the very act in which we cooperate with God in creating human life. God is in charge and attempting to steal that away might succeed in conception, but it doesn’t keep the design intact.

In your petri dish. I wouldn’t exist. The mighty hand of the lab assistant wouldn’t have been drawn to pick me. There are too many things genetically wrong with me. I have more than five auto-immune diseases, all genetically predisposed. I was anything but, a designer baby.

You are doing what has been done in this thread before. The people in this thread aren’t miserable that they “can’t” have IVF. They are frustrated that immoral things like IVF have become so common that it can become difficult to get proper, moral help. So-called infertility clinics are aptly named. Only 20% of the couples carry to term. Most stay infertile. Yet the Pope Paul VI Institute, who does not perform IVF, has an 80% success rate of bringing a baby to term. Dr. Hilgers was just on EWTN again the other night. God’s design works better.

 

[user3856530]

Thanks for sticking with this LittleDeb.

I am reading your posts, but it’s apparent that I may not be understanding some of your points. Please could you clarify these two points?

Fertility rates. Do you agree that fertility decreased with age? After age 35 it drops dramatically for women? You increased your fertility, but do you believe that you can keep this up into your late forties or fifties? We know we were running out of time because of a few factors including age. The tests to determine when menopause will happen are also getting more and more accurate. We had an ovarian reserve test done, which didn’t instil us with hope. This isn’t ‘biased agenda’ - these tests are reality.
Waiting wasn’t an option for us because we are unable to conceive naturally. If we waited any longer would not be able to conceive at all. What are you suggesting we should have done?

The second point Where do you draw the line?
It seems that chemical intervention and Nap-pro is okay, but using an artificial womb isn’t? Does the Catholic church allow the use of Pregnyl for example? If a baby is premature, is it against Catholic doctrine to use an incubator? ie, using an artificial womb at the end instead of the beginning? Which part of creating human life does God not like us interfering with?

I’d also like to clarify that we’re not having a ‘designer baby’. We won’t know it there are any abnormalities until the birth. We are aware that embryos can be tested but we did not want this for two reasons: we wouldn’t have murdered the embryo but would have implanted it anyway, and secondly we only had one embryo and didn’t want to risk damaging it. We have just as much chance of giving birth to a baby with genetic problems as anyone who conceived naturally. We are older, so I believe the chances of our baby having genetic problems may even be higher.

One final point, be careful when comparing success rates for various clinics. We learnt this the hard way. Some institutions will cherry pick, just to increase their success rates. Remember - none of this is free of charge.
We didn’t do Nap-pro because of time issues. It takes three months of charting before you start and anything up to two years to find the problem. Our fertility, meanwhile, is dropping dramatically by the month. When, and if, they do find a problem, what if the only solution is IVF? It obviously works for some, but not for us. If my wife was 33, or even 36, we would probably have done Nap-pro, (and then ended up doing IVF anyway)

 

[Kiwi11]

I know this is between you two but I couldn’t help but join in…

First of all, after reading these statements I couldn’t help but feel that the overall tone is that there is this thought that we have a “right” to a child. I guess its always been my understanding that children are a “gift” freely given by God, not demanded to grow in a petri dish at such a time that is good for us. I also sense a lack of trust in the Lord who knows us inside and out. Phrases like, “time is running out”, and “we were getting old and we couldn’t wait a few more years”. If the Lord thought it best to send you a child at this time, don’t you think He would have?

IVF takes God out of the equation as far as love being physically expressed- and in the creation of human life. I used this quote before earlier in my musings but “what God has joined together, let no man separate”. Sex is the most physically unitive that we can be, and when contraceptives aren’t being used and both are healthy, sex is usually procreative.

I also see moral relativism here. Just because you don’t think its wrong, doesn’t mean that its right. We are not the ones judging ourselves in the end.

I sincerely hope for a healthy pregnancy for you and your wife. I also hope that your cognitive dissonance leads you to the truth, and not just what you conceive the truth to be.

 

[user3856530]

Kiwi - I happy for anyone to join in. The more the merrier!

You’ve raised the point of people believing they have a ‘right’ to a child.
I don’t believe this.
While we were going through our infertility, I had to accept the fact that we may never have children if God did not want us to. I never felt ‘entitled’ to have children, or that I had a ‘right’ to it. That way of thinking just didn’t enter my mind. We saw a problem and found a solution. People who do not do IVF could believe they have a right to a child.
I also had faith in the Lord. I had faith enough to go for IVF knowing our odds were very low.
I prayed to God that it would work. God helps those that help themselves. We didn’t just waste time, and then say ‘it wasn’t to be’. That would have been a sin.

In the end, God did bless us with a pregnancy, so my prayers did not go unanswered.

IVF takes God out of the equation as far as love being physically expressed- and in the creation of human life. I used this quote before earlier in my musings but “what God has joined together, let no man separate”. Sex is the most physically unitive that we can be, and when contraceptives aren’t being used and both are healthy, sex is usually procreative.

Usually procreative - but not always. Some people will never conceive through sexual intercourse, but they will through IVF. God wasn’t taken out of the equation for us. He was there every step of the way. Of course we would like to be able to conceive through sexual intercourse, but we can’t.
IVF has joined us and created a life that is the union of two loving parents. We have no intentions of getting divorced either.

I also see moral relativism here. Just because you don’t think its wrong, doesn’t mean that its right. We are not the ones judging ourselves in the end.

Who is judging us now? - The Catholic church, or God? Just because the Catholic church believes it to be wrong, does not make it a sin. It would not be the first time the Catholic church has got it wrong.

I believe that by denying treatment to infertile couples, the Church is committing a sin. They are denying life, and love.

I sincerely hope for a healthy pregnancy for you and your wife. I also hope that your cognitive dissonance leads you to the truth, and not just what you conceive the truth to be.

Thank you for your kind comment.

 

[Gladys]

I have had 2 miscarriages and now I am starting to lose hope. Now that I am 30 I feel more desperare b/c I wanted to have 2 kids. I’m afraid with my health problems and my PCOS, that I may not be able to have children. That breaks my heart, b/c with both miscarriages, I fell a hole in my heart that only a child can replace. I’m praying for a miracle!

 

[davidwillson]

Oh, and as for how family members react-- EVERYONE in both sides of our families and all of our friends love our daughter as much as we do. Especially the Grandmas! They place no distinction at all between her and our bio son. They are both spoiled rotten! No one at all treats her differently. In fact, when we go to any kind of family event, or friends gathering, we never see her, because everyone else wants a chance to hold her and play with her! She’s just another grandchild/cousin/niece. The grandparents are just happy to have another baby to love, it doesn’t matter what she looks like (even though she IS beautiful ).
Tammy

DH and I are in the same position. He wants to keep trying before we seriously consider adoption–I even bought an ovulation kit this month to get a little extra help. It’s been 2 years now and no luck. I’m thinking that I’ll be 30 next year and really want to get going on having a family. It’s in God’s hands, though, like you said. I’m going to start really looking at adoption and then when the time comes and DH is ready–I’ll have a lot of the info.

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watch movies online

 

[crazzeto]

IVF certainly is not saying ‘I will not work within God’s design’.
Only God can create babies. God creates babies through IVF, not man. Any other explanation, in my opinion, is sacrilegious.

What does ‘God’s Design’ mean anyway? Which of the following is God’s design?

• Intensive farming and Fertilisers
• Gay people
• Clothes

We went through IVF. I didn’t even realise that IVF was against Catholic doctrine until we were half way through. We didn’t murder any embryos, all our (few) embryos were used. None were frozen.

I suppose I’m no longer a Catholic.

People who are infertile, and are not doing IVF because of religion, should really consider who makes up Catholic doctrine, because it’s not divine.

With regard to IVF, you are objectivly in the wrong and I can only pray that you will reconsider your opinion. The fact of the matter is that IVF is objectivly evil, it is in fact, man attempting to bypass the natural order in order to obtain that which God has not granted them. The process involves a host of unnatural processes, including the harvesting of eggs which are not the mothers (at least sometimes).

IVF is objectivly evil, and going ahead with it despite church teaching is always a grave sin. I don’t post this without sympathy for those married couples that can not conseive naturally, on the contrary I have some idea how I would feel if in fact, my wife and I were incapable of bringing new life in this world.

But a no to having children naturally (first and foremost) isn’t a call for IVF, but rather it may very well be a call to adoption, which is also quite beautiful and wonderful, so much so my wife and I have discussed the possibilty of adopting anyhow (maybe).

I would invite you to read the CCC on the matter, as well as this document written by the congregation for the doctrine of faith:

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19870222_respect-for-human-life_en.html

I would invite you to read this prayerfully, with a heart open to the will of God rather than your own.

Know that regardless, the child(ren?) you have from this processes are non-the-less, blessings in all respects. It maybe that you made an error (in ignorance to start with) bringing these children into the world in a way contrary to the teachings of Jesus Christ, but there is always reconciliation.

God bless,

 

[user3856530]

With regard to IVF, you are objectivly in the wrong and I can only pray that you will reconsider your opinion. The fact of the matter is that IVF is objectivly evil, it is in fact, man attempting to bypass the natural order in order to obtain that which God has not granted them. The process involves a host of unnatural processes, including the harvesting of eggs which are not the mothers (at least sometimes).

I will correct you. In the Catholic Church’s opinion, I am wrong. However, the Church has been wrong before.
I’d also like to point out that many Catholics do not seem to mind, for example, taking vaccines. This too involves a host of unnatural processes, sometime involving hens’ eggs.
Human life on Earth is pretty much ‘unnatural’ in general.

But a no to having children naturally (first and foremost) isn’t a call for IVF, but rather it may very well be a call to adoption, which is also quite beautiful and wonderful, so much so my wife and I have discussed the possibilty of adopting anyhow (maybe).

I’ve already posted this somewhere else, but adoption is not possible where I live. We are too old even to be considered, and it is now even illegal to adopt children from many countries.

If I took notice of the Catholic Church, I would be condemned to a life without children.
God gave me a brain so I would not be like a sheep, blindly following the Church’s teachings.

I refuse to let the Church dictate to me that I am forbidden to reproduce. Eugenics or selective breeding has been tried before.

I would invite you to read the CCC on the matter, as well as this document written by the congregation for the doctrine of faith:

vatican.va/roman_curia/co…n-life_en.html

I’m not reading that contrivance.

In summary, I’m not sorry for doing IVF because I haven’t committed murder, or adultery or sinned in any way. My conscience is clear. If any Catholics that are considering IVF read this, then I pray that my post helps them see the light. Do not let any organisation try to deny you the chance of experiencing a child’s love.

 

[davidwillson]

Oh, and as for how family members react-- EVERYONE in both sides of our families and all of our friends love our daughter as much as we do. Especially the Grandmas! They place no distinction at all between her and our bio son. They are both spoiled rotten! No one at all treats her differently. In fact, when we go to any kind of family event, or friends gathering, we never see her, because everyone else wants a chance to hold her and play with her! She’s just another grandchild/cousin/niece. The grandparents are just happy to have another baby to love, it doesn’t matter what she looks like (even though she IS beautiful ).
Tammy

DH and I are in the same position. He wants to keep trying before we seriously consider adoption–I even bought an ovulation kit this month to get a little extra help. It’s been 2 years now and no luck. I’m thinking that I’ll be 30 next year and really want to get going on having a family. It’s in God’s hands, though, like you said. I’m going to start really looking at adoption and then when the time comes and DH is ready–I’ll have a lot of the info.

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watch movies online

 

[davidwillson]

Have you done any medical testing? There may be something simple that can be corrected. If you have a diagnosis, you have a lot more options of how to proceed. There are many acceptable forms of treatment that do not violate Church teaching. Also, check into an NFP class. It can tell you whether you are ovulating too. Especially helpful is a NaPro program that uses NFP basics to help you achieve, not avoid pregnancy by tracking your cycles and ovulation patterns. Just some ideas if you haven’t started any of this yet.

Teak–we haven’t done any testing yet. My next doctor’s appointment is in November, I’m going to talk to her about how to proceed. We haven’t taken an NFP class; I’ll have to see if someone in my church could teach it; as far as I know the closest classes are about 45 minutes away. Surely we’re not the only ones who’d be interested in such a class. I’ve done some reading and attempted to track things on my own, and either I’m not ovulating, or I’m not doing something correctly (my CM is never like I’ve read it should be, my temps are all strange).

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watch movies online

 

[HAnne]

I have had 2 miscarriages and now I am starting to lose hope. Now that I am 30 I feel more desperare b/c I wanted to have 2 kids. I’m afraid with my health problems and my PCOS, that I may not be able to have children. That breaks my heart, b/c with both miscarriages, I fell a hole in my heart that only a child can replace. I’m praying for a miracle!

Gladys,

I too am now 30 and dealing with infertility. I will be praying for you.

Have you seen a reproductive endocrinologist or a fertility specialist? They may be able to help you determine what caused your miscarriages. Many times it’s something that can be ethically fixed to drastically increase your fertility.

Let me know if there is any way I can help support you other than prayer.

 

[kovu]

I will correct you. In the Catholic Church’s opinion, I am wrong. However, the Church has been wrong before.
I’d also like to point out that many Catholics do not seem to mind, for example, taking vaccines. This too involves a host of unnatural processes, sometime involving hens’ eggs.
Human life on Earth is pretty much ‘unnatural’ in general.

I’ve already posted this somewhere else, but adoption is not possible where I live. We are too old even to be considered, and it is now even illegal to adopt children from many countries.

If I took notice of the Catholic Church, I would be condemned to a life without children.
God gave me a brain so I would not be like a sheep, blindly following the Church’s teachings.

I refuse to let the Church dictate to me that I am forbidden to reproduce. Eugenics or selective breeding has been tried before.

I’m not reading that contrivance.

In summary, I’m not sorry for doing IVF because I haven’t committed murder, or adultery or sinned in any way. My conscience is clear. If any Catholics that are considering IVF read this, then I pray that my post helps them see the light. Do not let any organisation try to deny you the chance of experiencing a child’s love.

Here here. I am also a Catholic and did ivf twice - first time resulted in a miscarriage, second time twins (though baby B died at 21 weeks gestation). My survival is currently 8 months old and is baptized Catholic. I do not regret doing ivf at all. My husband has a very low sperm count so without ivf we would not be able to have any children and my daughter wouldn’t be here. If you deny ivf then you deny my daughter her life, which doesn’t make sense. I hate how the Catholic church has so many false information about ivf. IVF takes a lot more love and devotion than just having sex. None of my embryos were destroyed or frozen - both cycles I only had two good embryos and both were transferred each time. It was then up to God on whether they continued to divid and implant. Humans do not have control in ivf - it is still God in the driver seat all along.

Also the church changes it rules all the time - remember vatican 2? Just because it is against ivf today, doesn’t mean it will be in the future. It never says don’t do ivf in the bible, though it does say to go forth and multiple. It also says that if your spouse is infertile that you are suppose to sleep with a slave in order to give you a child - maybe we should try that. At least my daughter is biologically my husband’s.

 

[liliana51886]

My friends, the act of IVF is not only an act which two people give themselves to each other in love, but one that puts all its trusts in Doctors, and technology. Making Them God, creating life.
#1 We are sheep following the shepard, which Christ said whatever the church bind it binds in heaven… and who ever listens to it listens to him

But the point that I want to make, because I am sure you have heard what is above, and obiously disagree… The churches stance on life, AND WILL ALWAYS BE is that life begins at conception. Right now because of IVF there could be MILLIONS of human beings on ice, ones where familys have given there eggs/sperm… and they have had the children that they wanted. Not only that, but they try to implant more than one during the process… the ones that don’t take… die. It is a imperfect process that only God should be doing. God creates life, and if he calls us to have a life with out children, that is what is to be. Our suffering is our key to heaven, and trust me…I can understand the pain. My husband and I have been w/o child since we have been married almost 5 years ago. But I unite my sufferings with Christ on his glorious cross, knowing that it is my entrance to heaven. He is my shepard. I follow. I do not tell him, he tells me.

 

[CradleCathy]

Ooooooooh, I have so much to say on this and am dying to jump in and address - but I stepped in with a specific purpose.

I have a friend who came to me in much sorrow tonight that I would like to help her with. She is Christian, not Catholic, but very open to the wisdom of the Saints. She is a WONDERFUL loving woman who has so much to give to child, and wants one desperately, but she and her husband have been unable to concieve. They have discussed adoption, and even looked into it, but I believe she was “holding out” that her prayers for a biological child would be answered.

She recieved devestating news that she may have a cancerous condition and now must have her uterus removed. The finality of it all has just left her heart broken. She wants to continue the adoption process once her health returns, and has complete faith that God has plans for her, but I am sure you can understand the feelings of loss she is suffering.

I was hoping to find a life story of a Saint who struggled with being infertile and God blessed them with a life rich in other ways. I am not having luck. I know many of our Saints went into their old age until God gave them a child, but I am afraid with her condition she would not see the hope in those stories.

Anyone have any ideas? Infertile female Saints who founded orphanages, adopted or raised others children to be Saints? Something uplifting to give her some strength?

 

[titi920]

…We are sheep following the shepard, which Christ said whatever the church bind it binds in heaven… and who ever listens to it listens to him…
… God creates life, and if he calls us to have a life with out children, that is what is to be. Our suffering is our key to heaven, and trust me…I can understand the pain. My husband and I have been w/o child since we have been married almost 5 years ago. But I unite my sufferings with Christ on his glorious cross, knowing that it is my entrance to heaven. He is my shepard. I follow. I do not tell him, he tells me.

I found so much inspiration in your post. I’ve struggled with infertility the entire time we’ve been married and am turning 35 this month. We just want so badly to have a child and it is so hard to see so many people-even Catholics just going ahead and getting IVF and having babies sometimes. I feel so alone sometimes… It really adds to the struggle. I would love if we could email each other for support and inspiration for how to trust in His will no matter how painful, when there is so much temptation to manipulate our will instead into this heartache. Thank you again for your post.

 

[user3856530]

My friends, the act of IVF is not only an act which two people give themselves to each other in love, but one that puts all its trusts in Doctors, and technology. Making Them God, creating life.
#1 We are sheep following the shepard, which Christ said whatever the church bind it binds in heaven… and who ever listens to it listens to him

Christ doesn’t want us to be sheep! that must be the complete opposite of what God wants.
Life isn’t about being a sheep. What ever decision people make it shouldn’t be following a flock.
That’s at least one thing I learnt at my Catholic school.

IVF doctors aren’t God either. If you ever do an IVF cycle you’ll discover just how little is in Man’s hands.

• Will there be follicles?
• Will they be the right size?
• Will there be an egg?
• Will the sperm be okay?
• Will the egg fertilise?
• Will it grow?
• Will the embryo be viable with good number of cells?
• Will the womb lining be thick enough?
• Will it implant?
  Then, after that is the two week wait.
  Then more waiting and praying.

You think this isn’t in God’s hands!
IVF, if anything, increased my faith that a God exists. (We also have no frozen embryos or murdered embryos)

 

[Willsfirecracke]

Christ doesn’t want us to be sheep! that must be the complete opposite of what God wants.
Life isn’t about being a sheep. What ever decision people make it shouldn’t be following a flock.
That’s at least one thing I learnt at my Catholic school.

I am very interested in what “Catholic” school you went to. Because in the Catholic school I went to, it was the complete opposite. What part of “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want” don’t you get. We are the flock. Society is the flock. Not the other way around. IVF fallows the flock of secular society, and yet you support it. Hmmmm… sounds fishy.

 

[karenu]

Some couples are really struggling with infertility and IVF. When the desire to have children is so strong, it can make us question the teachings of the church on IVF as well as other methods of conceiving, in order to achieve the ultimate desire to have a child… It’s really important to find out why the church is saying No to IVF. Our Faith requires two important aspects from us, a love of God and knowledge of His ways. We are so fortunate in the Catholic Church to have a true voice of authority, through the teachings of the church, our catechism , the magisterium, the pope. We have to listen to it if we want to protect our souls.

I would strongly recommend that we find out “Why” we should not do IVF. There are excellent books available on the new reproductive technology from a Catholic perspective. They might even sell here at Catholic Answers. I know there is a book available at Family life Center International (on line), called " Life Issues, Medical Choices", by Janet Smith and Christopher Kaczor. It addresses these issues. The biggest problem with these procedures is that there is no marital act involved. Sex was designed by God, to unite a couple in love and to allow for creation because of that love. IVF seperates , manipulates and does not allow for making love.
Anyone who has suffered infertility knows how mechanical it all becomes. One often wonders where the love and pleasure has gone. How much do we love and trust our Lord to see us through our suffering? Before you make your decisions based on your own personal moral choice, rather than our Lords, inform yourself fully. God says Yes, No and Wait.
He told us wait, 13 years before our first child arrived through the gift of adoption. The problem with me is that I wasted alot of time suffering instead of accepting, praying and offering up my sorrows to God. Think of all the souls that could have been saved during my suffering and yours. Our 3rd child arrived when I was 48 and my husband was 50. He likes to joke that he got a 3 year old for his 50th birthday! God is good… Do it His way and He will bless you.