Inheritance?

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my parents are dead and MIL doesn’t have a dime. so no expectations. our plan is to leave no money to our kids since I think it does more harm than good, we plan to live just long enough to spend what we have saved and leave the rest to charity. our assets as we take distributions from retirement accounts go into charitable remainder trust, which will pay enough to live on, and principal goes to charity when we die. we do have a trust account to support a disabled son so that will not be a burden on our daughters.

I have probably read way too many murder mysteries revolving around wills and inheritance. prefer to give my kids and grandkids gifts as they need them now, esp. help with CAtholic school tuition, and now oldest grandchild is going to college, than make them wait for it.
 
JustAnotherThou said:
I was watching a show this morning and they were talking about inheritances and people’s expectations on what they think they are going to or should inherit?
I just thought I would shoot off a couple questions for all of you?
  1. As adults, do you expect to receive some type of inheritance (monetary) from your parents, grandparents? Yes, I did when Dad died 4 years ago.
  2. If yes why?
    Because he had made it clear that we would inherit the property.
  3. Have you talked to your parents or grandparents about if you will inherit (monetary) anything?
    My grandparents had nothing to leave their children. My father, had always made it clear that the family home and the land it stood on would come to us 3 children one day. By the time he died one brother had already been given his share of the property so the remainder of the land and the house (a farmhouse built in 1900) was willed to my younger brother and me. We knew there was an insurance policy which was to go to my older brother and the bank account was to come to us along with the house. The contents of the house were for my younger brother.
Unfortunately, it’s my belief that Dad put off going to a nursing home in the last year of his life because he feared that he would have to turn over the land to the gov’t.

I am just curious about inheritances that would go to adults, not minor children, I think that goes into a whole different belief system.
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  1. My grandmother (still alive) already shared my grandparents’ money with their grown children, and the remainder of their retirement fund is being given to my parents who are looking after her now. (My parents aren’t banking on the money because it just about covers expenses.) My parents have already told us that there’s no chance they’ll leave us anything significant, and I wouldn’t have expected it anyway.
  2. My parents raised me to be financially independent. Why would they continue to support me and my siblings after we’ve reached the age of adulthood? They’ve often told us that their financial obligation toward us stopped at 18, although they’d help out if necessary after we left home. I am hoping that my mother will leave me my grandmother’s pearl ring (the necklace could go to my younger sister), but I wouldn’t be upset if it didn’t happen. I am also hoping that my parents will give me a buy-in option on their business (a lodge, generally used for forestry workers) when they’re ready to retire, but my boyfriend’s not too keen on living in a rural area after marriage, so the point may be moot.
  3. We’ve talked about this stuff because my aunt was getting rudely demanding when my grandfather’s sister died and didn’t leave her any money. My parents wanted us to know that if they died and we behaved like my aunt, they’d be rolling over in their graves! Also, when we were minors, my parents went over their will with us in terms of what would happen if we were underage when they died - who would look after us, how the finances would be handled, etc. Luckily we never needed to use that information!
 
JustAnotherThou said:
I was watching a show this morning and they were talking about inheritances and people’s expectations on what they think they are going to or should inherit?
I just thought I would shoot off a couple questions for all of you?
Click to expand...
JustAnotherThou said:
  1. As adults, do you expect to receive some type of inheritance (monetary) from your parents, grandparents?
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Yes. I inherited some money from my grandmother when I was 20 which was enough for a down payment on a house and the remainder I put in an IRA. My mother inherited the remainder of my grandmother’s estate and I will inherit it when my mother dies.
JustAnotherThou said:
  1. If yes why? If no why not?
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It’s a family nest egg that is handed down from generation to generation. The principal is preserved and added to and each generation lives off the earnings.
JustAnotherThou said:
  1. Have you talked to your parents or grandparents about if you will inherit (monetary) anything?
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Oh, yes! I am my mother’s accountant. I’m sure my mother and grandmother talked about it to some degree before my grandmother died. My mother and I have talked about it a lot since then.

Since I have no heirs, most of my money will go to the Church and other Catholic charities with a little going to a few secular charities.
 
I will say–having parents who died by the time I turned 10…I’m not so sure I saw my ‘fair’ share of my dad’s estate. He was a very successful businessman, and he left my sister a lot of money to raise me. Now, I also had social security up until I was 18–but my sister controlled my side until I turned 21, where she gave me the remains. My sister has had one custom built home, which had 6 bedrooms, in NJ–and then in Florida, had three homes, a nice sized boat, maids, and beautiful cars. Also sent her kids to college on her tab–and paid for Catholic high schools for them both in Boca Raton. If you know Boca…you know it’s not cheap down there.

She was a stay at home mom for 15 years during her marriage, and my brother in law, although was successful, could not have afforded all of the above, plus living in Boca. They also took plush oo la la vacations throughout their marriage, and I wanted for nothing. (college was paid for me too) I don’t post this to appear jilted as I’m not a material type, however, I think it’s a bit unfair that my sister took my dad’s estate, and gave me a small piece, and she took the bulk of it – and spent is as she pleased. I will not allow that same thing to happen to our children…my husband and I have wills…strictly because we don’t want either child to feel ‘less than’ another. It’s not really about the money…it’s about how one feels when it’s all said and done. I love my sister to pieces–she raised me–for that, I’m eternally grateful. But, I do believe–now that I’m an adult and aware–feel like had I been an adult when my parents died, this might not have happened this way. Don’t get me wrong–my husband and I have worked hard…and we are grateful for our lives. I don’t wish things had been differently–HOWEVER–it served as a lesson to make sure we have wills, if there is a decent amount of wealth, or valuables, in our lives.

My husband doesn’t believe in inheritances…he said I was spoiled enough, and perhaps God had a plan with why things worked out the way they did. Not sure where he derives that I was spoiled but ok. It’s not about living life like you won the lottery, but if there is wealth to be distributed, I think it should be done equitably. I mean–I can’t afford the tuition for two kids to go to college–like my sister was able to do for her kids. I don’t feel jilted…but I do see the value in wills…both living and otherwise. Life is not fair–it’s a mantra I have lived with since I was a child. :o God is amazing though–and had it not been for Him, for my faith–not sure how I would have made it through.

Anyways…just my two cents on inheritances!:o
 
I was watching a show this morning and they were talking about inheritances and people’s expectations on what they think they are going to or should inherit?
I just thought I would shoot off a couple questions for all of you?
  1. As adults, do you expect to receive some type of inheritance (monetary) from your parents, grandparents? if my mom, inlaws or grandmother had any money, yes, i would expect. i don’t really know their financial status.
  2. If yes why? If no why not** ?because the inheritance is BIBLICAL. **
  3. Have you talked to your parents or grandparents about if you will inherit (monetary) anything**? no.**
I am just curious about inheritances that would go to adults, not minor children, I think that goes into a whole different belief system. inheritance to adults is a biblical concept and there’s nothing wrong with it. if i had anything to leave, i’d leave it to my kids-- regardless of age. why should i expect that i’m a more generous person than my mom, inlaws or grandparents.

that people act like thieves with inheritance is only a side issue. the foundational principle is that inheritance is biblical.
 
Whatevergirl,

it would seem your sister has dealt with you most unjustly. I am sorry. your acceptance and trust in God is inspiring.

thank you.
 
Thank you Monica. You know, in thinking back to it all…she was merely just turning 23, had a new marriage, baby…parents dying…handling their finances…handling my dad’s medical bills…two funerals back to back in the same year…so, I try to look at it from her vantage point. She was young too. It really boils down to that my father, once he knew he had cancer, should have put a will together. Truthfully, I just would like to have had some help with my kids’ education, nothing else. Now, they get good grades–I’m sure they can apply for scholarships–God willing–and my husband and I look at it more that we can certainly take care of ourselves…it really would have been nice to have had the same luxury afforded to me, in being able to send our children to college–with a little help. But, it is what it is. Again–she was young, so I think being an adult now, I look back and say…she really had a lot on her plate, and always did the best she could.

Anyways! ha Thanks for letting me at least vent about it. Sometimes, I guess it does bug me a little.😊 I don’t mean it too…it seems a little…uh, what’s the word…selfish for me to think about my dad’s distribution of his estate, when God has given me an abundance of blessings!:o
 
JustAnotherThou said:
I was watching a show this morning and they were talking about inheritances and people’s expectations on what they think they are going to or should inherit?
I just thought I would shoot off a couple questions for all of you?
  1. As adults, do you expect to receive some type of inheritance (monetary) from your parents, grandparents?
    Only because 3 of my younger sibs would come live with us should my folks die. My paternal gp are gone and my maternal gp will pass on the land to my mom, aunts & uncles.
  2. If yes why? If no why not?
I hope that if my parents should someday be able to not have to live paycheck to paycheck, then they would spend sometime enjoying themselves and getting to relax and enjoy their grandkids. That would be the best gift I could get from them…their time.
  1. Have you talked to your parents or grandparents about if you will inherit (monetary) anything?
Yes but because I am the executor and needed to know about all the paperwork.

I am just curious about inheritances that would go to adults, not minor children, I think that goes into a whole different belief system.
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I don’t expect in the way like I feel like I’m owed anything.Certainly not.

I expect it in the way that I am their only living child and the general logical conclusion is whatever is left in their estate will be left to their child.

No I have not discussed it with my parents as they are very private about their finances although from their standard of living one could guess they are relatively comfortable.

The only thing ever discussed (kind of humerous actually) is my mom putting 10 grand in a cd and listing me as the recipient in case of her death instead of listing my dad as she does on all her others. Her reason? She wants a nice funeral especially mentioning flowers and is afraid my dad might be “cheap”. So I am to use this money to make sure she has a nice funeral.😃
 
rayne89 said:
The only thing ever discussed (kind of humerous actually) is my mom putting 10 grand in a cd and listing me as the recipient in case of her death instead of listing my dad as she does on all her others. Her reason? She wants a nice funeral especially mentioning flowers and is afraid my dad might be “cheap”. So I am to use this money to make sure she has a nice funeral.😃
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THAT IS HILARIOUS!!! 😃 Isn’t it funny the things people think about? I never would have thought of that in a million years…😛

Takes all sorts! I had an aunt who was so anal that she had picked out her pall bearers, songs for her funeral, what she would wear, and on and on and on. :eek: Personally, I want a rosary, I want a mass and I want EVERYONE I know to be on their knees praying for my soul…cause I know I’m gonna need every prayer I can get. :gopray:
 
one thing I would like to leave my children is an ethical will, a concept I learned from some Jewish friends, which is a document detailing the values and beliefs we have tried to live by, to teach our children and grandchildren as we put our Faith into practice. Their Catholic Faith is the most precious legacy we can give them.
 
one thing I would like to leave my children is an ethical will, a concept I learned from some Jewish friends, which is a document detailing the values and beliefs we have tried to live by, to teach our children and grandchildren as we put our Faith into practice. Their Catholic Faith is the most precious legacy we can give them.
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Faith of our Fathers, holy Faith, we will be true to thee till death!!! I love this idea!!! GoodHusband and I are going to do this!
 
monicatholic said:
I was watching a show this morning and they were talking about inheritances and people’s expectations on what they think they are going to or should inherit?
I just thought I would shoot off a couple questions for all of you?
  1. If yes why? If no why not** ?because the inheritance is BIBLICAL. **I’m not asking to be snotty or cause you trouble, but there are a lot of things that are biblical, like mikvah baths after menses, and leaving everything to the firstborn son.
that people act like thieves with inheritance is only a side issue. I will grant you that for sure!
/quote]
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monicatholic said:
  1. If yes why? If no why not** ?because the inheritance is BIBLICAL. **
    ** **I’m not asking to be snotty or cause you trouble, but there are a lot of things that are biblical, like mikvah baths after menses, and leaving everything to the firstborn son.
that people act like thieves with inheritance is only a side issue. I will grant you that for sure!
Click to expand...
 
I’m not asking to be snotty or cause you trouble, but there are a lot of things that are biblical, like mikvah baths after menses, and leaving everything to the firstborn son.
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beyond old testament customs, we hear Jesus tell the story of the prodigal son. not only did Prod. receive only part of the inheritance, but was the expectation was SO unchallenged, that he asked for it before Dad died.

parable, yes. but like parables were, it was set in a context of accepted norms.

btw, when did mikvah baths go out of custom? am i the only one who didn’t get that memo?
 
I think there have been some GREAT replies. Thank you all for sharing. I guess I still come away feeling that I would NEVER EXPECT an inheritance from my parents (or grandparents). If they leave me anything I will be GREATLY appreciative!
 
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