Insane promise to God. Is it considered valid?

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LillyFaith

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*I already talked to a priest about this at confession today, I’m only here asking because I didn’t get the answer I needed and I’m still confused.

So a little over a year ago I made a ridiculous promise to God saying I will never waste a moment of my life again. Not exactly sure how to event went down. I remember thinking “in order for a promise to be made to God, you have to mean it in your heart.” So, I thought “I will never waste a moment of my life again.” And in my heart I felt like I meant it. Then I panicked because I thought I made a promise to God. Not sure if when I thought it, it was an intrusive thought because I do suffer from OCD.

This whole situation is so ridiculous but I need a few clear answers as I just came back from my confession and the priest didn’t help me out at all. He even told me he didn’t think it was a mortal sin to break a promise you make to God which made me feel sad because I’m pretty sure it is. So my questions are 1. Was that a true promise I made to God considering I am not able to keep it? I mean obviously there’s a part of me telling myself it must be vaild since I can always try to live up to it, even though it would tear me up inside. 2. Considering the fact that I don’t remember if the promise was ‘said’ just as intrusive at the time, does it still bind me to it? I even question what that promise means. I guess I don’t really know. 3. Can I somehow unbind myself from this promise? Again, I asked my priest about this, but he didn’t really give me the adivce I was looking for.

The whole situation is making my head spin and probably yours too, sorry for that. I asked my mom and she didn’t understand. I’m scrupulous just fyi, so that might be affecting my situation. I just want to be able to unbind myself from this promise if it was a valid promise, and my attempt to do so today failed.
 
I also will probably be going to a different priest sometime later this week to see what he says about it.
 
It sounds like the priest today told you that the so-called “promise” you made to God was not valid, and that you are released from it. But with your scrupulousity your mind is afraid to accept that. Remember the conditions for mortal sin: full knowledge, free consent, and grave matter. None of those exist here.

Don’t try to get validation here or from another priest. Go back to your original priest and ask him for clarification. You can make an appointment with him to discuss it, and also discuss what help you’re receiving for your scrupulousity.

I hope that helps you get peace on this issue. 🙏

ETA: Having one regular confessor for spiritual direction, who is familiar with scrupulousity, is really vital for someone like yourself. You might need to “shop around” till you find that special priest, but you shouldn’t be seeking validation from many different priests. I hope you find someone who can help you! Are you in therapy for your OCD?
 
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Here’s what I think if it helps at all
The Devil is a liar and he will mess your mind up if you give him a foot hold , he will do things to upset us to make us scared and to confuse us, luckily we have a bible and a Church that holds many answers to our questions, and if you look around the bible and listen to the church what you hear is this.
You are a child of God
You are loved beyond measure
Do not Fear I am with you always
I go to prepare a place for you
Pray in faith and even the mountains will move.
Sometimes the Devil will try to steal our peace and will plant seeds and try to lead us into a sin and for some that biggest lie can be that God will not forgive you? this stinks of demonic influence as they have no mercy for them but a child of God has always Mercy and forgiveness, so you should not let anyone steal your peace and joy knowing you are loved by God and he is full of compassion and mercy especially to a repented sinner oh and you should trust your priest also and pray for him.
Hope this helps and trust me God is full of mercy and Grace so trust him.
 
LillyFaith said:
He even told me he didn’t think it was a mortal sin to break a promise you make to God which made me feel sad because I’m pretty sure it is.
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I suspect his point was that it’s not mortal sin to break an impossible promise. That’s just common sense. You should listen to him.
 
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Peter told Christ he would never deny him… and we made him Pope!! So be well!! God often lets us feel humiliated through someething we do or can’t do because it’s good for us to realize how much need Him and we need to rely on Him.
 
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Because you’ve mentioned you’re scrupulous, please do what’s good for you and refrain from the temptation to ask your questions here. Instead, talk to that priest again so you might make real progress. Because when you ask on CAF, it is due only to lead to more confusion.
 
angel12 said:
I suspect his point was that it’s not mortal sin to break an impossible promise. That’s just common sense. You should listen to him.
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Precisely so.

I cannot speak for the Almighty, but if one of my children made a wild promise to never fail me (or himself) in some way ever again when I at least knew that he was talking about a character make-over that would probably be the work of a lifetime, I’d accept the offer with some bemusement. Still, I wouldn’t tell him not to try!

Our Father in Heaven knows us well, and knows that our ambition often outruns our frail resolve.

You learned how incapable you are to do what you intend to do out of your own power. That is the first step in allowing the Almighty to make a saint of you. Don’t try to unbind yourself from the promise. Repent from being so wildly optimistic about your self-mastery that you promised to achieve such a praiseworthy state immediately. Then start over by asking the Almighty to give you the grace in each moment to follow the advice of pursuing perfection in order to at least, someday, achieve excellence. Ask for the grace to ask for help often, ask to be spared the trial of temptations beyond your capacity, and ask for the humility to admit from here on out that your victories come entirely by the grace of God, since you know yourself to be as weak and as incapable of doing what you intend as any other soul in Christendom.

The saints are what they are, not because their sanctity makes them admirable to others,
but because the gift of sainthood makes it possible for them to admire everybody else.
It gives them a clarity of compassion that can find good in the most terrible criminals.
It delivers them from the burden of judging others, condemning other men.
It teaches them to bring the good out of others by compassion, mercy, and pardon.

We become saints not by the conviction that we are better than sinners,
but by the realization that we are one of them,
and that all together we need the mercy of God!

Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation
LillyFaith said:
…the priest didn’t help me out at all. He even told me he didn’t think it was a mortal sin to break a promise you make to God which made me feel sad because I’m pretty sure it is…
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LillyFaith said:
I also will probably be going to a different priest sometime later this week to see what he says about it.
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The priest is not underestimating your situation. You are overestimating it. You made a wild promise that only you could possibly fail to see you were never going to keep. You are only guilty of being rash. No one put their trust in your capacity to keep your promise, least of all the Almighty. You failed no one and nothing, except that maybe you failed your own inflated self-estimation. That is something we have all done. The main thing is to not let the humbling experience of failing to be better than everyone else not keep us from trying to be as good as we can be.
 
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mVitus said:
Because you’ve mentioned you’re scrupulous, please do what’s good for you and refrain from the temptation to ask your questions here. Instead, talk to that priest again so you might make real progress. Because when you ask on CAF, it is due only to lead to more confusion.
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The only addition to this good reply is to find a priest who can get to know you and offer you advice based on that knowledge. going to multiple priests may not help unless they have some depth of understanding you and the situation.
 
Never - vow a vow - that you can’t uphold.

That - irks God.

Stay away - from making ANY vows.
 
Saint Thomas Aquinas quotes Pope Saint Gregory I saying: “If you have promised ill, break your faith.” That means if you made a foolish promise to God, you are released from it. God does not want you to keep it. And yes, that would include the promise that you made. So just forget about it. You are released from the promise.
 
You have answered your questions several times when you said the priest didn’t give you the the advice YOU were looking for, you didn’t get the answer YOU needed. Please seek help for your OCD and trust your priest.
 
Sorry. I just didn’t want my issue to carry on since I was getting panicked (not to mention the next time I see a priest will be in about a week.) I feel when I ask my questions here, it puts my mind more at ease because people provide me with their (usually rational) take on it, or at least some other ideas to think about. Hope you can understand.
 
Huh? Try to stop thinking too much! It is driving you crazy. You went to confession. The Priest speaks for Christ. Were you absolved?

Yes? Then, forget about it, resume normal breathing and get on with life. God is not waiting around the corner to cast you into hell!
 
Thank you! I sometimes can be a more “fire and brimstone” type of person with my faith because I treat my salvation pretty seriously. I get so carried away with the idea of perfection sometimes lol.
 
No. Oaths or promises which are made that are pretty much impossible to fulfill (like a lot of scrupulous people like to do) are not binding.
 
We can definitely see a bright side there somewhere – it’s honestly great to see young Catholics taking the faith so seriously, even if there’s room for growth and improvement (there is for all of us!).
 
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Lilly, this is a common theme of OCD. Random intrusive promises would pop into my mind all the time when I was your age, and it was awful. I once even promised God I would marry this one kid from church, but I didn’t even like him at the time, and I didn’t want to marry him😂. The random promise just popped up because it disturbed me. Another thing is, my OCD does make me impulsive. I get super excited about things and am just ready to dive right in. This is also what makes people with OCD either be or appear to be indecisive. Listen to your priest. The only promises coming from me that I take seriously are promises that I say out loud, that I was 100% focused on when I promised them, and that I took my time considering and thinking/learning about. If it feels impulsive or intrusive, I don’t listen to it. Listen to your priest :). Our Lord knows better than anyone what OCD is and that we have it.
 
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