Insensitive Sticky Note

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dad_o_six

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DW had our latest bundle of joy about a week ago. I’m taking two weeks off, but I stopped by the office today briefly. Attached to my monitor was a sticky note that read as follows: “[my name], Congratulations on the new baby! If you need any info on how to stop that from happening again, come talk to me [name of writer]” I don’t think the writer intended any harm, but I’m really tired of these kinds of remarks.
 
Firstly, congrats on your new baby! You won’t get comments like that here. 😉

Second, is this something you are willing to address? I would mention to the author of the sticky note that your family size is none of his/her business.
 
I’d leave a sticky note in reply that read: “Thanks, but I think we’ve almost got it figured out!” 😃

Honestly, how rude can people be? Your family size is none of their business and frankly, it’s an inappropriate topic for work. I would let the note writer know that you and your wife do not need help planning your family and consider each child a blessing.

If you return from work and begin to be bothered by more comments in the same vein, you should discuss it with your HR rep - especially if the person who wrote the note is your superior.
 
ChristinaM said:
I’d leave a sticky note in reply that read: “Thanks, but I think we’ve almost got it figured out!” 😃

Honestly, how rude can people be? Your family size is none of their business and frankly, it’s an inappropriate topic for work. I would let the note writer know that you and your wife do not need help planning your family and consider each child a blessing.

If you return from work and begin to be bothered by more comments in the same vein, you should discuss it with your HR rep - especially if the person who wrote the note is your superior.
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I’d be a bit blunter - something like ‘Thanks for the note - if you need any info on how to mind your own business about other people’s family sizes, come and see me, Dad_o_six’
 
Ahhhhhh! My response would be to run across the room and do this: :banghead: I just don’t understand what possesses people 🤷

Anyway, what your coworker meant to say was: Congratulations!!! May God Bless you for your openness to His will. 😃
 
I’d be tempted to respond with a sticky that says, “I’d love to hear what you have to say, and so would {insert head of HR}. We’ll swing by together sometime and have a listen!”

Margaret
 
I rather like Meg’s idea.

My DH had an ex-boss who didn’t like Catholics, Italians or fat people, and DH is all three. HR did what nobody else could do- shut the fella up.
 
Congratulations! Try not to let that get you down! I went to college with a girl who was one of 15 children and her aunt & uncle have 25 children…(lots of sets of twins). I’m 45 and she is younger than me. But I understand exactly what you mean-I have even heard those consider themselves devout catholics complain about people who have large families…

It seems that there is always a new arrival somewhere in my family…whether it be my children or nieces/nephews…currently we will be having a new addition to the family in Jan…

My best friend of many years said to me… Wow! your family likes to procreate…what are you trying to do take over the world?
 
dad_o_six said:
I don’t think the writer intended any harm, but I’m really tired of these kinds of remarks.
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boy you are a very nice kind person who always sees the best in other people, I congratulate you on that, but I disagree as to motives of your “friend” and were I in your situation, would waste no time letting him know I consider his remark way beyond insensitive, let’s talk offensive and meriting an official complaint to management for harrassment.
 
“If you have one too many children to love, we are willing to adopt.”

“Oh I know, but we’re only half done.”
 
I have just had my fourth, and I get those also.

Depending on my mood, how well I know the person, or how rude I perceive the person to be I have responded in various ways.

My favorite because I get the most shocked looks is “My wife and I finally found a hobby that we both enjoy”. They will take it as making the kids, but the way I intend to say is that we enjoy the kids.

I have also gotten the “Snip , Snip” type comments. These are totally inappropiate so I am usually ruder with these comments. Again, depends on how well I know the people. If I know them well and they should know my beliefs, I will usually tell the people that I’m not a dog and don’t need to get neutered. If I don’t know them well, I just tell them that their comments are inappropiate because they are neither my wife or my doctor and I don’t discuss unnecessary medical procedures with other people.
 
Thanks for all your support. And laughs. I’ve never posted here before and find it quite helpful.

My hesitance has been that I despise the PC gag-order. In my experience, people who go to HR for stuff like this never really solve the underlying problem. They only cause people to walk on eggshells. I’d prefer to have the opportunity to defend myself and make clear the comment was disrespectful. I need to call for a meeting between the note writer, the boss, and me. What surprised me was how dirty this sticky note made me feel.
 
I think you all are being a way over-sensitive. It is like everyone today is just looking for something by which to be offended.

It is most likely intended as a joke…you know…Ha, Ha…slap on the back kind of thing. It is not intended as a “You Catholics and your huge families are ridiculous…ha, ha…your religion is a joke…wink, wink…nudge, nudge,” kind of deal. I have 4 small girls, and I get these comments all of the time, and they are almost always intended as a humorous bit of small talk and is almost never said in a mean spirited, demeaning manner…so I never take it as such. I just laugh when they say, "Do you know what causes that? and reply with something like, “Well we’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3 likely causes…so we are getting there.” They laugh, I laugh…and we go on our merry way.

–Rico
 
dad_o_six said:
DW had our latest bundle of joy about a week ago. I’m taking two weeks off, but I stopped by the office today briefly. Attached to my monitor was a sticky note that read as follows: “[my name], Congratulations on the new baby! If you need any info on how to stop that from happening again, come talk to me [name of writer]” I don’t think the writer intended any harm, but I’m really tired of these kinds of remarks.
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This person meant no harm. The next time you talk to that person, simply say:

" Hey… Thanks for the congratulations note! My wife and I have been so deeply blessed by the birth of this child words cannot begin to express our gratitude for this gift. God has been good to us."

To be harsh toward this person would only make you look like a oversensitive religious nut (in their eyes). This will be much more effective in expressing the true catholic attitude toward the gift of life. It will also make them really think about what their note said. Then if the insensitive remarks continue, drop the hammer on them!😃
 
Just tell them that your kids will be paying for their Social Security 😃
 
I found that the comments become less the more you have. So, keep having babies, and soon they’ll get the idea that their comments are waisted on your deaf ears. 😃

Congratulations!
 
TLM08 said:
This person meant no harm. The next time you talk to that person, simply say:

" Hey… Thanks for the congratulations note! My wife and I have been so deeply blessed by the birth of this child words cannot begin to express our gratitude for this gift. God has been good to us."

To be harsh toward this person would only make you look like a oversensitive religious nut (in their eyes). This will be much more effective in expressing the true catholic attitude toward the gift of life. It will also make them really think about what their note said. Then if the insensitive remarks continue, drop the hammer on them!😃
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I agree… I think they were just trying to be funny… although it totally fell flat. I would shrug it off… leave a note of thanks and gush about how truly blessed you and your wife feel. It will speak wonders about the gift of life. Sadly, our society doesn’t value chidlren anymore - I think that rather than getting this guy in trouble (with your boss) you have real opportunity, to show that children ARE such a blessing.

CONGRATS on the birth of your baby!!! I’m jealous… I only have five!

PS. On the note writer’s desk you could leave a picture of your baby daughter with a note that says, “WHY in the world would I want to stop this from happening again? LOOK at how beautiful she is! My wife and I hope to have six more!” And you could add one of these guys 😛 so he knows it’s all in good fun - yet you might just be serious?!
 
dad_o_six said:
Thanks for all your support. And laughs. I’ve never posted here before and find it quite helpful.

My hesitance has been that I despise the PC gag-order. In my experience, people who go to HR for stuff like this never really solve the underlying problem. They only cause people to walk on eggshells. I’d prefer to have the opportunity to defend myself and make clear the comment was disrespectful. I need to call for a meeting between the note writer, the boss, and me. What surprised me was how dirty this sticky note made me feel.
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I know what you mean. I wouldn’t want to be “that guy who siced HR on [jerk’s name]” either. This would be something I would resort to only if that person continued to make comments like that, and only after I had let that person know personally how inappropriate his/her comments were. But do remember that your company has an HR department for a reason. Bottom line is, you have the right to work without being hassled over your personal life by some insensitive jerk.

Always keep smiling, and let the whole world know that you love EVERY ONE of your children, and that they are ALL blessings, no exceptions! You are reaping rewards that these insensitive people cannot even begin to imagine. Fatherhood is priceless.
 
dad_o_six said:
DW had our latest bundle of joy about a week ago. I’m taking two weeks off, but I stopped by the office today briefly. Attached to my monitor was a sticky note that read as follows: “[my name], Congratulations on the new baby! If you need any info on how to stop that from happening again, come talk to me [name of writer]” I don’t think the writer intended any harm, but I’m really tired of these kinds of remarks.
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Not to sound anal, but that’s an HR lawsuit waiting to happen. I would not be happy with such a comment, and I can take a joke like the next person, but I’m also over people feeling that they need to guide people to stop having babies or something.

I think I would politely tell the person that you really didn’t appreciate the note. It was rude, to be honest. Or you could write it on a sticky. lol:p How rude? The more I think about this, the angrier I get.:mad:

Oh well…God bless, and congratulations on the birth of your baby!
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
 
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