Insensitive Sticky Note

[cthulhubryan]

Congrats!

Are you sure the writer of the note was serious? I’ve a friend whose wife had their 4th last year and I gave him a flashlight with a note saying that candle light is scientifically proven to cause children.
He loved it.

If this is not a joke, I would take it to HR but only after giving the writer a chance to apologize and mean it. In today’s pro-death culture he may actually think that he is doing the right thing

 

[basilisk]

I would march right over to the offender’s desk, note in hand, and inform them that the next time they feel the need to harass me over protected status markers such as family size, marital status, or religion, this note and a record of any further comments or actions that are discriminatory or derogatory toward myself or my family WILL be on the desk of the head of HR. Anti-Catholicism is one of the few socially acceptable bigotries left. We should start fighting it using the tools the PC whiners have handed us. Dose of their own medicine…

 

[whatevergirl]

I would march right over to the offender’s desk, note in hand, and inform them that the next time they feel the need to harass me over protected status markers such as family size, marital status, or religion, this note and a record of any further comments or actions that are discriminatory or derogatory toward myself or my family WILL be on the desk of the head of HR. Anti-Catholicism is one of the few socially acceptable bigotries left. We should start fighting it using the tools the PC whiners have handed us. Dose of their own medicine…

While it might seem harsh, I’m in agreement with you here. I think that if this were a stab at a gay lifestyle, or a jab at someone’s enthnicty…etc etc etc…it would not be tolerated. It could very well have been a joke, and depending on the OP’s relationship with the person, I would kindly point out that the remark was not appreciated…but if it was a random Joe/Jane in the office, throwing their two cents into my life…I’d be a bit more stern with the person. I think that it’s time to stop allowing people to walk on living a Christian lifestyle. We deserve the same respect as any other group.

But before jumping the gun, bring it up in a kind way and hopefully, it will stop.

 

[LilyM]

I think you all are being a way over-sensitive. It is like everyone today is just looking for something by which to be offended.

It is most likely intended as a joke…you know…Ha, Ha…slap on the back kind of thing. It is not intended as a “You Catholics and your huge families are ridiculous…ha, ha…your religion is a joke…wink, wink…nudge, nudge,” kind of deal. I have 4 small girls, and I get these comments all of the time, and they are almost always intended as a humorous bit of small talk and is almost never said in a mean spirited, demeaning manner…so I never take it as such. I just laugh when they say, "Do you know what causes that? and reply with something like, “Well we’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3 likely causes…so we are getting there.” They laugh, I laugh…and we go on our merry way.

–Rico

Yeah, hi-freaking-larious. I refuse to laugh at someone else’s demeaning idea of a joke just to be on side with them, I don’t care how funny they think it is or how unfunny they might think I am.

 

[basilisk]

RicoS, if the “joke” in question had been, “How do you keep Blacks/Jews/Mexicans/Muslims from breeding?” followed by whatever supposedly hilarious stereotype-laden punchline, would you be so tolerant? If not, then why should Catholics or anyone else with a large family take that lying down?

 

[whatevergirl]

Lying down? You’re full of puns today, basilisk LOL–sorry, I know you were trying to be serious.

I agree though. I wouldn’t have liked the comment, and I would say something. It’s not about being ‘overly sensitive,’ it’s about not tolerating slurs that are meant to put down our faith. That’s how I see it. Why was that comment necessary…congrats was enough. It was sufficient.

 

[Lil_Cat]

Anti-Catholicism is one of the few socially acceptable bigotries left. We should start fighting it using the tools the PC whiners have handed us. Dose of their own medicine…

Whoa, are you sure this is Anti-Catholicism? All religious backgrounds have big families. I think it was more an attack on big families than it was on Catholics.

I just don’t see the connection.

 

[ChristinaM]

Yeah, hi-freaking-larious. I refuse to laugh at someone else’s demeaning idea of a joke just to be on side with them, I don’t care how funny they think it is or how unfunny they might think I am.

Thank you for saying this! There is nothing funny about anti-child, pro-sterilization attitudes. Even if people just think they’re being clever, I think we need to challenge our culture’s silly idea that one boy and one girl is the only “perfect” family and anything more or less is “too many” or “too few”. Those so-called jokes actually sound like a great opportunity for a little evangelization.

 

[Rico_S]

Wow. I am stunned I am in the minority here. I am quite surprised at how easily everyone is offended. Well, I guess I shouldn’t be, but nevertheless, I am.

While I do think that the comment can be taken to be insensitive, and if done by a coworker with whom the op is not familiar, it is inappropriate; it hardly rises to the level of marching down to the “offender” and threatening him with HR action. I pray that the op thinks about it before committing such a blunder.

–Rico

 

[basilisk]

Whoa, are you sure this is Anti-Catholicism? All religious backgrounds have big families. I think it was more an attack on big families than it was on Catholics.

I just don’t see the connection.

When people find out I have five children, before we lived in our current town, the FIRST question out of their mouth was ALWAYS, “Are you Catholic?” Now, as we live in a majority LDS area, the first question is, “Are you LDS?” and when we say no, the second question is, “Are you Catholic?”

Seems to me the connection that large family = Catholic is well-enrenched in the larger culture… and this is based on living in six different states everywhere from the Pacific coast to the Rio Grande, from the Bible Belt up to the Canadian border, in large cities and tiny towns, in the last 11 years.

 

[Lil_Cat]

When people find out I have five children, before we lived in our current town, the FIRST question out of their mouth was ALWAYS, “Are you Catholic?” Now, as we live in a majority LDS area, the first question is, “Are you LDS?” and when we say no, the second question is, “Are you Catholic?”

Seems to me the connection that large family = Catholic is well-enrenched in the larger culture… and this is based on living in six different states everywhere from the Pacific coast to the Rio Grande, from the Bible Belt up to the Canadian border, in large cities and tiny towns, in the last 11 years.

I’m sorry people are so insensitive.

I still stand by my comment that this was an attack on big families and not Catholics.

 

[basilisk]

I’m sorry people are so insensitive.

I still stand by my comment that this was an attack on big families and not Catholics.

You know, it really doesn’t bother me anymore. I consider the source… what kind of bitter cynic would one have to be to actually get upset over the number of children someone else has?

However, the reason I would be so in-your-face over this workplace incident is because hypersensitive liberals have made the workplace darn near impossible for people to feel comfortable or safe in. Every idle comment might get one fired, reprimanded, or sued. So I would look at this as the perfect opportunity to stick it to one of those very population-control liberals using their own methods and tools. It would be sweet revenge to make one of THEM live in fear for a change… let them know how conservatives feel every day.

 

[whatevergirl]

I also can’t imagine making an equally offensive comment to someone who has no children, or 1 or 2 children. Imagine saying…‘you know how to fix that right?’ No, we can’t imagine saying that. Suppose the person is sterile, is ill, can’t have anymore children, whatever. Or imagine saying…“how many kids do you have, one? Only one? Only two? Well…why don’t you have more?”

If you turn the tables around, it really sounds offensive.

 

[Brenda_V]

I’m sorry people are so insensitive.

I still stand by my comment that this was an attack on big families and not Catholics.

I agree. I think there is a bigger undertone of “large families are bad” than “Catholics or LDS are bad”. There might be some of that too but highly unlikely because why would other Catholics or LDS say that to their own?

OP, congratulations on the new addition to your family .

Brenda V.

 

[MomaMary8]

You know, it really doesn’t bother me anymore. I consider the source… what kind of bitter cynic would one have to be to actually get upset over the number of children someone else has?

However, the reason I would be so in-your-face over this workplace incident is because hypersensitive liberals have made the workplace darn near impossible for people to feel comfortable or safe in. Every idle comment might get one fired, reprimanded, or sued. So I would look at this as the perfect opportunity to stick it to one of those very population-control liberals using their own methods and tools. It would be sweet revenge to make one of THEM live in fear for a change… let them know how conservatives feel every day.

As my mother always told me, and I tell my children:

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Treat this man with charity. Was he right in his words? NO. But don’t add to his sin by sinning yourself.

I am a walking pro-life, large family, Roman Catholic Irish billboard. I take all comments with a bit of pride. I must be living my faith if I get a “you must be Catholic” comment. My large family is also a reminder to all that not everyone believes in contraception. If it gets noticed, all the better!!

 

[basilisk]

There might be some of that too but highly unlikely because why would other Catholics or LDS say that to their own?

I don’t know why they say it, but I have had other Catholics, some of the ones who are the most active in the parish, call us crazy for having so many children. It’s not rare. We’ve also been asked, at Mass, if we are “done.”

 

[yellowbird]

The way I see it, this could play out two different ways:

1. You march the guy into HR - He tells you he has nothing against Catholics, that he was only joking and is sorry he offended you. HR threatens him with sensitivity training. He avoids you like the plague.
2. You show him a picture of your baby girl and tell him what a blessing all of your children are. If he suggests you “fix” the problem, you tell him that you are Catholic and are going to allow God to decide when you are done. Basically you turn the other cheek and SHOW him by your attiude that your children aren’t a burden.

If you do # 1 here’s the conversation the guy will have with his family:

"I work with this Catholic guy who is the biggest jerk. I wish him congrats for having his SIXTH kid and I make a joke about it and he goes ballistic. I mean come on… the guy has SIX kids… what a jerk… his wife probably makes him have all those kids and he’s taking it out on me… he actually dragged me into HR to whine about my little comment which was totally a joke. Like he never jokes around… what a hypocrite… that’s what Catholics are. BIG hypocrites with too many kids.

If you do #2, I imagine he’d have this conversation with his family:

I work with a guy who’s wife just had their sixth kid! Can you even imagine…? And he’s actutally happy about it… he said he wouldn’t even mind more. He said he’s Catholic and he’s going to let God decide how many kids they have… I didn’t know Catholics still did that, did you? Anyhow, he has really cute kids… watch him end up with twelve?! Oh well… he doesn’t seem to mind. He’s a pretty nice guy… seems like a good Dad.

 

[Lil_Cat]

You know, it really doesn’t bother me anymore. I consider the source… what kind of bitter cynic would one have to be to actually get upset over the number of children someone else has?

However, the reason I would be so in-your-face over this workplace incident is because hypersensitive liberals have made the workplace darn near impossible for people to feel comfortable or safe in. Every idle comment might get one fired, reprimanded, or sued. So I would look at this as the perfect opportunity to stick it to one of those very population-control liberals using their own methods and tools. It would be sweet revenge to make one of THEM live in fear for a change… let them know how conservatives feel every day.

DH and I were talking about this just last night. He is of the opinion that they will phase themselves out by having abortions and using birth control.

I see what you are getting at and I agree.

Oh, and OP, CONGRATS on your new baby!! I pray that you take the right course of action.

 

[SeekerJen]

I also can’t imagine making an equally offensive comment to someone who has no children, or 1 or 2 children. Imagine saying…‘you know how to fix that right?’ No, we can’t imagine saying that. Suppose the person is sterile, is ill, can’t have anymore children, whatever. Or imagine saying…“how many kids do you have, one? Only one? Only two? Well…why don’t you have more?”

If you turn the tables around, it really sounds offensive.

Do you know how many people DO say those things? One of the best ways to get unsolicited advice is to tell people that you’re infertile. And of course if you 1) tell them that you’re not interested in discussing further; 2) tell them that you’ve already heard of/thought of/tried what they’re offering; 3) say that your religion does not permit the use of immoral artificial techniques, then you’re being “rude” because the person was “just trying to help”.

 

[basilisk]

DH and I were talking about this just last night. He is of the opinion that they will phase themselves out by having abortions and using birth control.

:sad_yes: :sad_yes: The same thing is said around here often, too.