Insensitive Sticky Note

  • Thread starter Thread starter dad_o_six
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I think when you have six kids people are gonna tease you. You said it wasnt meant meanly. It is lovely that you have such a large family enjoy it. If you went and complained it wouldnt make you any different than the people who get offended at the word Christmas.
 
Some background:
I get a lot of comments like this, from line workers to bosses, educated and uneducated…and family.

One of the bosses and I have had some rather lively conversations over lunch. Raised a non-Catholic, he nonetheless went to the Catholic grade school where his wife now teaches. He has initiated most of these discussions, and I don’t mind as it’s been friendly and open. Recently, after his vasectomy, he’s been very cool towards me. I didn’t say anything out of the way to him. I really don’t judge his decision as I believe he lacks an understanding of why sterilization is wrong. But suddenly my lifestyle is threatening and personal to him.

We also have two new division heads, and both made similar remarks when I reminded them of upcoming family leave. They asked if this was my first child. When I said it was the sixth, the first blurted out, “Are you insane?” He quickly regained his composure, never insinuated anything about religion, and appropriately congratulated me. He did comment about his own vasectomy. I took no offense. Later, when he confided in me about his daughter in college and her entitlement issues, I thought to myself that she wouldn’t be acting this way if she had five siblings and appropriate religious instruction. But I kept my lips shut.

The other department head also commented about his vasectomy after two or three children. He also said something remarkably insightful albeit misguided. He said that he couldn’t see himself giving his money away to any more children after the two or three. He made no mention of religion. Again, I said nothing.

Shortly after the birth of our daughter, I called my mother, who is not Catholic, but who had six children herself. I am the youngest. She has often stated that if she were to do it again she would have stopped after two. None of my other siblings take any offense at this frequent comment of hers. I do. Anyhow, my mother said something like, “Congratulations, I guess.” Then she went on a rant about pregnancies in the forties, the dangers of radiation, and insinuated (I am sure at the suggestion of my Darwinist brothers) that I am some sort of genetic mutation as a result of radiation exposure. This, of course, is the only possible explanation for my being Catholic. She strongly recommended that I get a vasectomy. I said, “Mom, gotta go,” about three times and hung up the phone. This, I find both exasperating but also so ridiculous that I can’t help but laugh.

I have found being at home with my wife, children and new baby incredibly mind-clearing. There have been a number of principle-centered dilemmas that I’ve been struggling with of late. Now, the answers to these problems are quite obvious. Getting away from the mind-numbing conformity of the secular workplace has been incredibly liberating for me.
I delight in this! See how the secular world view family life? All chaos, all strife, all suffering and bitter feeling! It shows it as such a miserable experience that people can’t wait to get to work!

But here! Here is how things should be!
 
I think you all are being a way over-sensitive. It is like everyone today is just looking for something by which to be offended.

It is most likely intended as a joke…you know…Ha, Ha…slap on the back kind of thing. It is not intended as a “You Catholics and your huge families are ridiculous…ha, ha…your religion is a joke…wink, wink…nudge, nudge,” kind of deal. I have 4 small girls, and I get these comments all of the time, and they are almost always intended as a humorous bit of small talk and is almost never said in a mean spirited, demeaning manner…so I never take it as such. I just laugh when they say, "Do you know what causes that? and reply with something like, “Well we’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3 likely causes…so we are getting there.” They laugh, I laugh…and we go on our merry way.

–Rico
I totall agree with this, and if there is lingering doubt as to the humor behind the note, the next time you see the person, just go on and on about how happy and blessed you feel to have so many children and gush about how the love is multiplied, it’s amazing how much love and joy is brought to your life by children, blah blah blah…
 
Wow. I am stunned I am in the minority here. I am quite surprised at how easily everyone is offended. Well, I guess I shouldn’t be, but nevertheless, I am.

While I do think that the comment can be taken to be insensitive, and if done by a coworker with whom the op is not familiar, it is inappropriate; it hardly rises to the level of marching down to the “offender” and threatening him with HR action. I pray that the op thinks about it before committing such a blunder.

–Rico
I would never say anything like that, nor do I find it funny. My BF however would probably be writing something like that. People have different senses of humor, so I agree with you. No harm was meant.
 
I love some of the retorts such as, “I am just too weak to resist her” or along the lines of “My wife just can’t get enough of me”. 😃
 
I just laugh when they say, "Do you know what causes that? and reply with something like, “Well we’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3 likely causes…so we are getting there.” They laugh, I laugh…and we go on our merry way.
I’ve heard another version of this:

“Well, we’ve got it narrowed down to 2 or 3 likely causes. We’re going to keep trying until we figure it out.”

My temptation would be to respond to the sticky note by bringing a family picture by, happily explaining some traits of each child - including the newborn - and ending with, “I can’t wait to see what the *next *one will be like!”

Proud great-aunt to these boys,

Ruthie
 
I think you all are being a way over-sensitive. It is like everyone today is just looking for something by which to be offended.

It is most likely intended as a joke…you know…Ha, Ha…slap on the back kind of thing. It is not intended as a “You Catholics and your huge families are ridiculous…ha, ha…your religion is a joke…wink, wink…nudge, nudge,” kind of deal. I have 4 small girls, and I get these comments all of the time, and they are almost always intended as a humorous bit of small talk and is almost never said in a mean spirited, demeaning manner…so I never take it as such. I just laugh when they say, "Do you know what causes that? and reply with something like, “Well we’ve narrowed it down to 2 or 3 likely causes…so we are getting there.” They laugh, I laugh…and we go on our merry way.

–Rico
I tend to agree. I bought a shirt for my friends 5th baby that said “My parents have a lot of rhythm, but not much method” They thought it was cute.
 
Hey, I know just what you mean! My father is a “dad o six” too. I went to a Christmas party last year, right after the sixth baby was born, and a man my dad’s age, when he heard that my dad was at home taking care of the sixth, said, “SIX! What, was your dad under medication or something?” And made some obscene gestures. The guy had been drinking. I wish I had given a snappier reply instead of my embarrassed, “Aw, no, we like kids!” But it really hurt and offended me. 😦

(Then again… I was in Italy this past spring, and buying t-shirts for my brothers, and the shopkeeper said, in broken English, “You haf five brothers? Your dad ees - strong!” 😛 Hahaha. Good to hear it praised elsewhere, even if the man was teasing.)
 
I remember watching a soccer game where one of the players on my daughter’s team was one of nine children. Her mother had just announced that they were expecting their tenth. I swear the snarky comments from those sitting around me were unbelieveable! I finally turned around and let loose on them. I said that the kids are loved, well behaved, healty, clothed, fed, and why the hell does it bother you so much. It was probably not the most charitable. But geez.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top