It is both an act of your human will, as well as a devotion of your heart. We are inclined, via our concupiscence, to look around us and see what is missing - not what is there. Imperfection abounds and it catches our attention, dragging us down.
Those whom we find most difficult or troubling we must fervently pray for, and from the heart. Daily, for years if need be. At some level, our complaints about spouses are complaints about ourselves, inasmuch as we chose them.
Some married hoping that their spouse would change, while others married hoping that change would not occur. Since we are living and breathing, either or both may have happened. Yet, what attracted us to our spouses is still there, even if hidden, or clouded by life’s occurrences.
I searched out one prayer of Saint Teresa of Avila and it really struck a chord within me. I think it bears posting and re-posting.
Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.
– St. Teresa of Avila
This is a good one for the refrigerator door, wallet or purse. As to life’s ever-changing situations, I ask only the Lord’s mercy and the grace to bear my cross. Intercessory prayer is intended for others and so that is what I do.
But first, for example before eating, I offer, “Lord, I thank You, I praise You, I bless You, I glorify You, I adore you, for in You I live and move and have my being.”
Based on Acts 17:25.