Institutionalized Rape

[Neil_Anthony]

It just occurred to me that the “liberating” culture started by the sexual revoluation actually created a whole society where many young women feel forced to choose between giving themselves sexually to a boy or being rejected and unpopular. This kind of pressure deserves to be called coercion, and coercion to have sex is rape. Thus the dominant culture practices systemic insitutionalized rape.

I just thought I should share this insight in case it is of help to anyone in explaining why discussion of morals really does belong in the public square.

 

[JimG]

That’s one way of looking at it. The sexual liberation movement ended up mainly liberating men from sexual responsibility.

 

[MissMarlene]

Just want to add, that young men too are coerced in the way you mention, namely through social pressure.
We saw a case like that a few days ago here at CAF where a young Christian guy was not only feeling odd in his culture, but also pushed to get physical by a girl who pressured him with all kinds of abusive language and he was devastated after he half way gave in to her advances.

I have met a number of men who felt that pressure and who were bitterly sad and in anquish after they gave themselves away to someone.
So please also remember men in your talks,… even if its easier for them, to some extent, to abstract themselves from their sexual actions due to their more outward psysical structure, many of them also feel stupid and sad after they gave themselves away the first time, just like girls.
The voice of concience and presense of God-given purpose in the spousal nature of our bodies are the same.

By the way,… If you only focus on young women in your talks you will be misunderstood by young girls… you’ll be suspected of double standard (boys will be boys, but women should be chaste and more protected than boys/have more rules).

 

[MissMarlene]

That’s one way of looking at it. The sexual liberation movement ended up mainly liberating men from sexual responsibility.

And you can say it liberated women from it too… Many of them feel that and believe that.

But in reality in the eyes of God, both have the same responsibility that they ever had in any age.

 

[kaid100]

It should be noted that there isn’t an obligation for a woman to have a boyfriend, and in fact a woman that wanted a boyfriend but not sex could probably find one if they wanted (e.g. by going out with a pious Christian or Muslim)

Separate to the issue of modern mores; in the past it was thought that a married woman had an obligation to have sex with her husband, and that there was no such thing as marital rape. If a man raped his wife, in many countries he couldn’t be prosecuted.

 

[Brendan]

in the past it was thought that a married woman had an obligation to have sex with her husband,

That is actually still the case, each spouse has a natural right to their spouses body.

and that there was no such thing as marital rape. If a man raped his wife, in many countries he couldn’t be prosecuted.

That is not the case, while one spouse should only withhold consent for a just reason, an attempt to engage in sexual relations without consent is still rape.

 

[Dale_M]

That is not the case, while one spouse should only withhold consent for a just reason, an attempt to engage in sexual relations without consent is still rape.

I believe Kaid is referring to past law, not current law. However, spousal (or marital) rape is a relatively new crime.

A month after Rosanna Hawkins filed for divorce in Michigan in 1981, her estranged husband broke into the house where she was staying and in more than an hour of what she said was total terror, raped her. Her husband, Eugene, who had been armed with a six-inch knife, was convicted in Oceana County Circuit Court in 1982 and sentenced to 27 years to 92 years in prison.

Last February, however, the Michigan Court of Appeals voted 3 to 0 to overturn the conviction.

The court ruled that, legally speaking, Mrs. Hawkins could not have been ‘‘raped’’ by her husband because in Michigan it is not a crime for a man to sexually assault his wife unless they are living apart and one has filed for divorce. And Mrs. Hawkins’s divorce filing was not valid because Michigan requires that a person be a resident for at least six months in order to file for a divorce; Mrs. Hawkins had moved back to the state only a week before she filed.

nytimes.com/1987/05/13/us/marital-rape-drive-for-tougher-laws-is-pressed.html

South Dakota was the first state in the US to make spousal rape a crime. But that wasn’t until 1975. North Carolina was the last state to make it illegal, but that wasn’t until 1993.

 

[Brendan]

I believe Kaid is referring to past law, not current law. However, spousal (or marital) rape is a relatively new crime.

I was referring to the Natural Moral Law (in both cases)

 

[kaid100]

I was referring to the Natural Moral Law (in both cases)

Keep in mind I never used the word “law” in my previous post. When I said a that in the past a wife-raper couldn’t be prosecuted in some countries, and you said that that wasn’t the case, were you referring to Natural Moral Law?

 

[Debora123]

Just a side note:

Girls have a sex drive as well. From my teenage experience, all the lady friends I had who lost their virginity in high school did so because they were h*rny and wanted sex just as much as their male counterparts.

Sure, some girls feel pressured into it, but some guys feel pressured into it as well. My husband had not just one, but TWO separate occasions in high school where a girl he hardly knew tried to force herself on him (at which he pushed them away of course).

Sorry for the little rant. Just a pet peeve of mine when people stereotype women as being these delicate little asexual creatures who only have sex because big bad men try to pressure them. Certainly not the case.

 

[Neil_Anthony]

Just a side note:

Girls have a sex drive as well. From my teenage experience, all the lady friends I had who lost their virginity in high school did so because they were h*rny and wanted sex just as much as their male counterparts.

Sure, some girls feel pressured into it, but some guys feel pressured into it as well. My husband had not just one, but TWO separate occasions in high school where a girl he hardly knew tried to force herself on him (at which he pushed them away of course).

Sorry for the little rant. Just a pet peeve of mine when people stereotype women as being these delicate little asexual creatures who only have sex because big bad men try to pressure them. Certainly not the case.

I realize there are cases like this. My original post talked about “many young women”, not all of them. To some young women, the sexual revolution was liberating, but to others, it’s an extremely powerful coercion to have sex.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

Sorry for the little rant. Just a pet peeve of mine when people stereotype women as being these delicate little asexual creatures who only have sex because big bad men try to pressure them. Certainly not the case.

And boys come away looking like predatory creeps.

Seriously, you have to watch out for ladies these days, what with their vajazzled nether regions and promiscuous ways. Believe me ladies are out there doing all they can to tempt good, innocent Christian boys who are interested in nothing more than remaining pure and serving God. There should be a law against it.

 

[Elizabeth502]

As at least one recent, non-Catholic survey of adolescent girls and young women indicated, a surprisingly large percentage of them do in fact feel socially coerced. However, a better (more accurate) word for this (less than willing sex) is, what Fr. Brian Mullady, O.P. refers to as extortion and exploitation, other people refer to as prostitution – the “price” being the continuance of the relationship.

There is also a marked difference in interest in early sex between girls educated in all-girls’ high schools, and girls educated in coed high schools, overall. (Yes, I’m sure some responders will note “exceptions,” but generally girls attending all-girls schools form their self-concepts without the continual need for affirmation and editing by young men.} That plays out in social and sexual choices as well.

Women are as in control as they want to be in this very rape-sensitive American society. It’s too bad that so many of them put less value on their own integrity than they do on a relationship, which in many if not most cases, is probably temporary in this immature and fluctuating period of their lives.

 

[Dale_M]

I was referring to the Natural Moral Law (in both cases)

I agree with you that a proper understanding of natural moral law should regard rape within marriage as a real occurrence. However, US culture (and laws) and the cultures (and laws) of most nations have historically not agreed with that view.

I remember arguing with a college roommate back around 1980 about this subject. And he did have civil law on his side. However, we all know that civil laws are sometimes immoral.

BTW, the view that rape within marriage is impossible has not gone away. Phyllis Schlafly has long contended that in getting married a woman has given permanent consent to sex, a view she repeated several times in recent years.

 

[JimG]

And you can say it liberated women from it too… Many of them feel that and believe that.

But in reality in the eyes of God, both have the same responsibility that they ever had in any age.

Yes, you are right. At the start of the sexual revolution coupled with the wide availability of birth control, men were more liberated to pursue sex without responsibility. Now, both women and men have in many cases abdicated responsibility and pursue sex for its own sake, without regard for consequences.

I know of several instances where guys in a business setting have been propositioned by women.

It used to be that women were worried about pregnancy. Birth control pills and condoms alleviated that fear, and abortion is used as a backup.

Because of changing mores pushed universally by popular media, both sexes are now intimidated into having early sex.

When I was in high school, the support system for both sexes supported a choice of abstinence; girls pretty much backed each other up in saying no. They no longer do. In some respects they have become sexual aggressors. Note the recent spate of reports of women teachers seducing their male students.

 

[kaid100]

… Because of changing mores pushed universally by popular media, both sexes are now intimidated into having early sex. …

This was also the case before the current liberalisation, however today such sex occurs between late-teens and early-twenties of approximately the same age. In the past, an adult could assault a child and almost never get prosecuted, partly because the child wouldn’t understand what was happening and wouldn’t know to tell anyone, and partly because even if it was discovered it was almost always hushed up.

 

[3DOCTORS]

OP made a good point. Although I would be just a bit picky on the semantics and liken it more to coercion to engage in prostitution, or metaphorical rape, than out-and-out assault. Though I’m certainly not saying either that insidious evil is better than blatant criminal evil. Evil is evil.

Now as to the insidiousness of it - it begins “innocently” enough with the pressure to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, to pair up exclusively at too young an age or be regarded as an undesirable nerd. This was going on when I was in junior high, 35 years ago, and I’m sure way before that.

It has gone downhill from there with young girls being much less innocent because of the things they see on TV or at movies or read in books or on the Internet. And the social networking sites and all those things have made their contribution.

Parents who are responsible will stay on top of what goes on and work to keep trust and communication with their pre-teen and early-teen children, and set boundaries - and explain why they are setting them with kindness and emphasis on love. “I know it seems like I’m being harsh but I don’t want to see you get hurt, etc.”

It’s ironic that many young ladies by the time they get to their later teen years are calling themselves “feminists” yet at the same time caving to the pressure to let a guy use them. They don’t see the contradiction. And the guys who are straight may like to call religious people “homophobes” but at the same time they are making sure they have sex with girls so their status is not in doubt.

The kids with same-sex attraction, guys or gals, are pressured to “come out” and identify as gay or lesbian as soon as possible, never mind that their personal identities are still in the process of being formed, and that often a passing phase is turned into a lifestyle choice. For those with true SSA, they don’t get a chance to explore chastity or any support for choosing it or help to bear that particular cross. They find a haven within the “gay community” and usually the first order of business is to find a relationship to affirm their belonging there.

As for the straight couples, especially the females therein - I’ve known some of them, and I ask them, “Who’s in charge of you? Those so-called “friends” who make you feel like a freak for not having sex? Will they be around to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, or will they be off having more sexual adventures and not care less? Or ‘be supportive’ by driving you to the abortion clinic or the STD clinic? And what about your heart and soul, do they care about those at all? My guess would be, they haven’t a clue.”

 

[Thoughtfulone]

Please! If this is institutionalized rape, then 90% of marriages in human history have been institutionalized prostitution/slavery. Historically, women have basically been sold (or sold themselves) in marriage in exchange for money and status. In many parts of the world, this is still the norm. So you could say things are getting better.

 

[kenofken]

It just occurred to me that the “liberating” culture started by the sexual revoluation actually created a whole society where many young women feel forced to choose between giving themselves sexually to a boy or being rejected and unpopular. This kind of pressure deserves to be called coercion, and coercion to have sex is rape. Thus the dominant culture practices systemic insitutionalized rape.

I just thought I should share this insight in case it is of help to anyone in explaining why discussion of morals really does belong in the public square.

Ireland had a culture of systematic institutionalized rape, and it happened mostly during times in which there was most definitely NOT a culture of sexual revolution in the popular society.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

Please! If this is institutionalized rape, then 90% of marriages in human history have been institutionalized prostitution/slavery. Historically, women have basically been sold (or sold themselves) in marriage in exchange for money and status. In many parts of the world, this is still the norm. So you could say things are getting better.

Good point.

Throughout most of human history marriages were arranged for very practical reasons with very little concern for the young bride’s feelings. There was nothing stopping a brute of 40, blessed by the local priest, and with the approval of the parents, from defiling his youthful, coerced bride. It was simply a matter of survival and what had to be done. The Church supposedly didn’t didn’t see anything wrong with arrangements like this.