Intercourse without orgasm during fertile days

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Me and my wife using NFP to space our children. We are struggling with abstinence and we still have intercourse during fertile days but I control not to have an orgasm and my wife still reach her orgasm sometimes. This is wrong? If anybody know any moral teaching about this topic, please let me know.
 
It’s basically masturbating (mutually) even if you don’t to orgasm you are still technically masturbating.
 
Me and my wife using NFP to space our children. We are struggling with abstinence and we still have intercourse during fertile days but I control not to have an orgasm and my wife still reach her orgasm sometimes. This is wrong? If anybody know any moral teaching about this topic, please let me know.
Aside from the morality, what you are doing is a bit futile. You aren’t abstaining, so your wife can still conceive. 🤷

So either actually abstain (no genital contact) or have regular relations to completion and accept any chidren that come along.
 
By having intercourse, even though you do not have an orgasm, you are still introducing sperm by way of the clear fluid that is discharged during arousal and are therefore potentially going to conceive. I cannot see how this could be sinful. I also cannot see how this could be effective NFP.
 
Aside from the morality, what you are doing is a bit futile. You aren’t abstaining, so your wife can still conceive. 🤷

So either actually abstain (no genital contact) or have regular relations to completion and accept any chidren that come along.
GOOD ADVICE. 👍
 
Me and my wife using NFP to space our children. We are struggling with abstinence and we still have intercourse during fertile days but I control not to have an orgasm and my wife still reach her orgasm sometimes. This is wrong? If anybody know any moral teaching about this topic, please let me know.
This is equivlant to coitus interruptus, so this is against the church teachings. Any intentional arousal and sexual contact without completion of the act isn’t being open to life.
 
Me and my wife using NFP to space our children. We are struggling with abstinence and we still have intercourse during fertile days but I control not to have an orgasm and my wife still reach her orgasm sometimes. This is wrong? If anybody know any moral teaching about this topic, please let me know.
Seriously, if you’re really needing to not get pregnant, don’t even chance it! Your wife can deffinately get pregnant this way - as has been mentioned sperm are present in pre ejaculatory fluid. This is basically the same thing as withdrawl - which is notoriously unreliable if you don’t want to get pregnant.
Also, it’s been shown that a woman’s orgasm is at times likely to help conception (not saying she wouldn’t get pregnant without it - but that some studies believe there is a purpose to it other than just pleasure)-as the cervix kind of gets dipped into the sperm and also blood flow is increased to those areas in the female. If you don’t want to get your wife pregnant - don’t risk it!

God Bless
Rye
 
Unless there is some requirement that one must finish the act, I do not see where the sin is.
 
Unless there is some requirement that one must finish the act, I do not see where the sin is.
That is just it, having sexual contact without a chance to create life is wrong. The man must finish inside the woman or it is a sin.
 
Me and my wife using NFP to space our children. We are struggling with abstinence and we still have intercourse during fertile days but I control not to have an orgasm and my wife still reach her orgasm sometimes. This is wrong? If anybody know any moral teaching about this topic, please let me know.
Not only is it wrong morally, it is considered abandoning the method from a child spacing perspective.

Morally speaking, any time you have intercourse, it must be a completed act. So to interrupt it is contraception. And morally wrong.

Practically speaking, you are **not **practicing NFP. You are practicing coitus interruptus. And that is **not **a way to space births. It has a high failure rate due to pre-ejaculate containing plenty of sperm to do the job.
 
That is just it, having sexual contact without a chance to create life is wrong. The man must finish inside the woman or it is a sin.
These are two different statements. It is false that in this situation there is no chance to create life. It is in fact very possible.
 
Morally speaking, any time you have intercourse, it must be a completed act. So to interrupt it is contraception. And morally wrong.
I’m curious as to the reference.
Practically speaking, you are **not **practicing NFP. You are practicing coitus interruptus. And that is **not **a way to space births. It has a high failure rate due to pre-ejaculate containing plenty of sperm to do the job.
The definitions of coitus interruptus that I’ve seen include ejaculation, which is not the case here. Does the Church have a definition of this act that is nonstandard?
 
The definitions of coitus interruptus that I’ve seen include ejaculation, which is not the case here. Does the Church have a definition of this act that is nonstandard?
What the OP is talking about in this case is amplex reseivatus or coitus reservatus not coitus interuptus. It isn’t strictly condemned in itself but is seen as mostly illicit because it presents a serious temptation to sin.
AMPLEXUS RESERVATUS
On June 30, 1952 the Holy Office issued the following
statement concerning the practice of amplexus reseivatus;
Admonition
The Holy See has noted with grave concern that in recent
times not a few writers when treating of conjugal life have not
been ashamed to go into the details concerning it frequently,
openly and minutely: furthermore, that some of them describe,
praise and recommend a certain act called amplexus reservatus.
Lest it fail its duty in a matter of such great moment, which
concerns the sanctity of marriage and the salvation of souls, the
Supreme Sacred Congregation of the Holy Office, at the express
command of His Holiness by Divine Providence Pope Pius XII,
seriously admonishes all the aforesaid writers to desist from such
a way of acting. And it earnestly exhorts the Bishops to exercise
careful vigilance in these matters and to make diligent use of
appropriate remedies.
Let us briefly summarize three opinions which have been
held with regard to the morality of amp/cxus reservatus.
The first holds that it is licit, chaste, and generally com-
mendable without qualification; in other words that there
are no objections to it from the viewpoint of the Christian
law. The Holy Office undoubtedly considered that the
works of M. Chanson defended this view. This view is
condemned by the Holy Office.
The second view holds that it is not illicit in itself (i.e.,
by reason of its immediate object), but only by reason of
its end or its circumstances. These make it, or can make it
sinful, either gravely or venially. For instance, it would
often involve the parties in situations where they would be
running an entirely unjustifiable risk of orgasm outside the
marriage act. This would be gravely sinful Or it would
often involve them in an exaggerated or exclusive concen-
tration on sensual pleasure which would be venially sinful,
or at least inordinate. We agree with this second opinion
which is by far the most commonly held by thecl^hns.
past and present.
The third opinion holds that it is venially or mortally
sinful in itself, i.e., by reason of its immediate object as an
intentionally incomplete act of intercourse. Very few theo-
logians hold this opinion. The only one we know of who
still holds that it is intrinsically and gravely sinful is Hya-
cinthus M. Hering, O.P.
reuniting.info/download/misc/Ilmari.historical.notes.pdf
 
From what I’ve read (and we’ve read a lot about the morality of this sort of thing) it is a sin to be sexually intimate in any way without at least the intention (and intent is the important part) of it finishing in a way which is open to life. So if you are stimulating each other, but intending to withdraw before you ejaculate you are sinning. This is mutual masturbation - even if you don’t complete the act.
 
I think that this is a real grey area. Bringing each other to the brink of orgasm without the intent of finishing where you should is taking chances with serious sin. On the other hand, if the act is stopped well before that then it is only a form of foreplay until the real act can be acheived in the non fertile days. Just my opinion.🙂
 
I think that this is a real grey area. Bringing each other to the brink of orgasm without the intent of finishing where you should is taking chances with serious sin. On the other hand, if the act is stopped well before that then it is only a form of foreplay until the real act can be acheived in the non fertile days. Just my opinion.🙂
See, but foreplay should be just that, the activity before intercourse/sex, not the activity at a random moment because sex will occur some day in the future. This isn’t foreplay, this is activity apart from sex. What the OP is describing really isn’t a grey area.
Offenses against chastity 2351 *Lust *is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
 
Practically speaking, you are **not **practicing NFP. You are practicing coitus interruptus. And that is **not **a way to space births. It has a high failure rate due to pre-ejaculate containing plenty of sperm to do the job.
What the OP is describing is coitus reservatus not coitus interruptus.

Pre-ejaculate does not contain any sperm. The failure of perfect use of coitus interruptus is due to sperm being present in the pre-ejaculate bc of previous, recent ejaculation. If he has not ejaculated recently there should not be any sperm there. If he did ejaculate recently, urinating before the second round clears the urethra of sperm though.

I personally wouldn’t risk it though! Not during the fertile part of my cycle anyway!
 
I think that this is a real grey area. Bringing each other to the brink of orgasm without the intent of finishing where you should is taking chances with serious sin. On the other hand, if the act is stopped well before that then it is only a form of foreplay until the real act can be acheived in the non fertile days. Just my opinion.🙂
That is how I understand it as well. Coitus resarvatus is sinful if it presents an unreasonable temptation to orgasm outside of sexual intercourse.

I would like to see someone post some references from moral theologians that interpret things differently though.
 
Why can’t foreplay be days before the actual act? If the intention is to engage in the full act of intercourse who says foreplay must be immediately before intercourse?

During the fertile times of the women’s cycle the man and women are drawn towards each other more so than at any other time. It doesn’t seem natural or helpful to me to act like brother and sister during that time (unless self control is a serious issue for them). The fertile time can be quite romantic. Foreplay that doesn’t risk the chance of orgasm can be uniting during fertile times and help the couple look forward to what is to come.
 
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