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paramedicgirl
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Yes, but she also said this:
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Jaded27
Guest
Not to be rude, but so what? so learning about other religions is bad? I get to hear all the time on here how JWs would never set foot in a church. . .yadda, yadda, yadda. . .
So now it’s bad for my kids to set foot in a Kingdom Hall? We don’t get baptized until we’re older so it’s OUR choice. It’s not like just by going to the hall the kids are being forced into something.
And it’s hardly child abuse to go to church AND meetings. If it works for us, what’s the big deal?
There’s really not much to argue about here as it is our personal choice. I was just talking about this with my FI this morning. How people can be so adamant that going to both would never ever work and yet they have never lived it themselves. Everyone expresses so many doubts about an interfaith marriage, yet there are so many more things to be upset about and disagree with in life. It works for us so it’s really not anyone’s business.
And my point about god was not having anything to do with the trinity. I was pointing out that I can’t see Jehovah caring whether I get a catholic annullment or not. Then I said but it’s not like a “catholic god” or a “jehovah’s witness god” are not both FORGIVING and glad that my FI and I are simply trying to fix our lives. I was not comparing the trinity or our two religions or anything like that. This is not a religious debate. It’s a post about my annullment process and such.
So once again - it works for us. And that’s all that really matters to me.
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paramedicgirl
Guest
No one even suggested child abuse. And yes, it is your choice. I was simply pointing out that it will most likely be very confusing for your children to be raised in 2 very contradictory faiths.
Since you have posted on a public religious forum, you encourage and solicit (name removed by moderator)ut and opinions from other posters.
See above
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Jaded27
Guest
We could go round and round with this so I’ll just sit back for a while.
Anyone know how long it takes to hear back from the diocese after your priest has mailed the paperwork in?
I"m going to have to call my ex husband at some point to warn him about the paperwork coming his way. Really not looking forward to that. I don’t care what he writes. I just want him to send it back quickly. He can tear me apart on it as long as this process goes as fast as possible. Fun stuff.
Anyone know how long it takes to hear back from the diocese after your priest has mailed the paperwork in?
I"m going to have to call my ex husband at some point to warn him about the paperwork coming his way. Really not looking forward to that. I don’t care what he writes. I just want him to send it back quickly. He can tear me apart on it as long as this process goes as fast as possible. Fun stuff.
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catsrus
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Well, it took 2 and 1/2 years for my approval but that was for both me and DH.
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Jaded27
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::nervous giggling:: I will go INSANE with stress. . . .
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carol_marie
Guest
I’d call pretty soon & give your ex the heads up… if they aren’t backed up… I think they get right on it. You’ll want to give your ex some time to adjust & get over it before he starts filling out the forms. Does he know you are getting remarried or is this going to come as a total shocker? I
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Jaded27
Guest
carol marie:
The marriage thing shouldn’t be a TOTAL shock. . . I tried to play it off as we’re not engaged (which we’re actually not) and I need to do the paperwork so that when we want to get married we can. We’ve started planning now because it takes so long for the annullment and even just to plan a regular wedding. I don’t have a ring or anything, but we’re unofficially engaged. So I’m trying to let him get adjusted to that first. Then I’ll tell him about the wedding later. With as few details as possible so that he can’t show up there. lol.
I just emailed him today. I was going to call but I chickened out. He’s been weird to me on the phone lately so I didn’t want to get into a fight.
The marriage thing shouldn’t be a TOTAL shock. . . I tried to play it off as we’re not engaged (which we’re actually not) and I need to do the paperwork so that when we want to get married we can. We’ve started planning now because it takes so long for the annullment and even just to plan a regular wedding. I don’t have a ring or anything, but we’re unofficially engaged. So I’m trying to let him get adjusted to that first. Then I’ll tell him about the wedding later. With as few details as possible so that he can’t show up there. lol.
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MistyF
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My fiance, who has always been Catholic, recently got his annulment. His first marriage was not in the Church, and Father Andy has known him almost his whole life, so the process was very easy for him, and I think all told between the first time he went in to talk to Father Andy and the day he got the final papers in the mail, it took about 3 months.
I was raised Jehovah’s Witness, and my baptism is not valid in the eyes of the Church because it was not a Trinitarian baptism. I will be received into the Church (hopefully!) next Easter, and it will include a baptism. I never felt, from the day I was baptised as a Jehovah’s Witness until now, that it was valid anyway. I did it because it was expected and I was afraid of the judgement from people, and hoped to finally have my mother’s approval. Funny though - my toe came out of the water, and they didn’t re-dunk me. LOL.
Anyway, I talked to Father Moore, my priest, about an annullment a while back. He said that as I go through the RCIA classes, I will be given the appropriate paperwork. He said that although the decision is not his, it goes before a group, I can’t remember what it’s called, but that according to all of the rules he knows, my anullment will be simple, which is why he didn’t start the paperwork months ago. My wedding is set for next June, and will be at the Catholic Church my fiance grew up in.
Since I was an athiest at the time of my marriage, it was a civil ceremony, and there were no religious vows taken, it does make my situation different from yours. But, from everything I could find on the subject when I realized I needed an annullment, I am hopeful for you that your procedure will be similar. I haven’t been told about the 4 witnesses though! Hmmmm…
I must say, I see you as a very brave woman! You are up against a lot of obstacles, but it sounds like you are considering each one and are up to the challenge. To me, that signals a great chance of a successful relationship, because you value your fiance, as he does you. The one thing that it seems on the surface that you will be missing is the presence of God within your relationship. But, really - does it have to be that way? I would love to know what ways you and he will be trying to make that happen, and what works for you. It is something all of us, even those in what we consider to be a “fully sacramental marriage” can probably learn from.
I was raised Jehovah’s Witness, and my baptism is not valid in the eyes of the Church because it was not a Trinitarian baptism. I will be received into the Church (hopefully!) next Easter, and it will include a baptism. I never felt, from the day I was baptised as a Jehovah’s Witness until now, that it was valid anyway. I did it because it was expected and I was afraid of the judgement from people, and hoped to finally have my mother’s approval. Funny though - my toe came out of the water, and they didn’t re-dunk me. LOL.
Anyway, I talked to Father Moore, my priest, about an annullment a while back. He said that as I go through the RCIA classes, I will be given the appropriate paperwork. He said that although the decision is not his, it goes before a group, I can’t remember what it’s called, but that according to all of the rules he knows, my anullment will be simple, which is why he didn’t start the paperwork months ago. My wedding is set for next June, and will be at the Catholic Church my fiance grew up in.
Since I was an athiest at the time of my marriage, it was a civil ceremony, and there were no religious vows taken, it does make my situation different from yours. But, from everything I could find on the subject when I realized I needed an annullment, I am hopeful for you that your procedure will be similar. I haven’t been told about the 4 witnesses though! Hmmmm…
I must say, I see you as a very brave woman! You are up against a lot of obstacles, but it sounds like you are considering each one and are up to the challenge. To me, that signals a great chance of a successful relationship, because you value your fiance, as he does you. The one thing that it seems on the surface that you will be missing is the presence of God within your relationship. But, really - does it have to be that way? I would love to know what ways you and he will be trying to make that happen, and what works for you. It is something all of us, even those in what we consider to be a “fully sacramental marriage” can probably learn from.
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Jaded27
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It’s called a tribunal.
yea, civil is much different and easier.
Thank you.
I don’t really understand how God will be missing. We’re having a catholic ceremony and we both go to our respective religious meetings. How is God missing?
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Jaded27
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I’d still like my above question answered but. . .
What happened to the JW sub forum? Did the bashing get out of control? I haven’t checked anything except posts I’m subscribed to lately.
What happened to the JW sub forum? Did the bashing get out of control? I haven’t checked anything except posts I’m subscribed to lately.
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catsrus
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The mods had been discussing consolidating lately since the jw forums weren’t too active. Any forums you have posted on that were in that sub-forum are now in the non-Catholic religion forums proper.
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MistyF
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I guess that came out wrong. I will try to explain it better and hope that I don’t put my foot in my mouth.
What I meant is not that God is missing from you or from Him, that would be a totally different discussion. LOL. But, I suppose the reference was more to the point that because the religions are so very opposite, and outright conflicting in so many ways, one or the other of you are going to have to trust the other in matters of spiritual direction within the marriage itself, and that seems like it could be a very tough thing. I guess in my head, since I will soon be married, I worry that I will not allow my husband his rightful role, because I am often so strongheaded and stubborn. But, when thinking about what it would be like if I were in your shoes, casting my own stubborness aside, it seems that if my husband tried to lead me down a path that disagreed with my own beliefs, I wonder if I would be able to accept that? Of course I’m sure the obvious things will be covered, but I mean on the little, every day type of things. Will you bristle at his Cross, will he be embarrassed when you knock on his boss’s door in the ministry work, that sort of thing.
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Jaded27
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Well, the spiritual head of the household is the husband. I respect that. But just because he is the head of the house, does nto mean that if we have differeing religions we cannot simply agree to disagree. That is what we have done. He will “let” me go to my meetings, I will “let” him go to his church. All set.
First off, congrats!
Secondly, I kind of explained that above. I’m stubborn too, trust me. lol. But he’s not leading me down a path I don’t want to take. We have differences and we’ve accepted them.
I wouldn’t want him hanging a cross above our bed, but he’s not that type of that Catholic. If he’d be embarrassed by me knocking on someone’s door he’s not the type of person I’d want to marry. I already know he IS the type I want to marry (duh. lol) so we’re all set on that account.
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kim_wilson
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QUOTEThe Catholic Church can and most likely will refuse to baptize your children if they are to be raised as JW’s. Unless of course, you find a very liberal priest.END QUOTE
Sounds like you’ve already found an incredibly liberal priest! I’ve had lots of JW friendships at work and having worked in public school music classrooms, I have felt profound respect and pity for the JW kids at Christmas time.
Jaded, will your children be knocking on doors on Saturday mornings? Will they be allowed to celebrate Christmas and sing carols? Will the baby in the manger be called the incarnation of God or Michael? Will your kids get to have birthday parties? These are kind of important questions that Father Doubting Thomas doesn’t seem to care to bring up.
I went through an annulment process also before I became Catholic. I am a convert to Catholicism and as such my religion is very precious to me. I would never have married anyone who would have refused to raise my children as loyal Catholics. Makes me wonder just how devout your husband truly is.
Sounds like you’ve already found an incredibly liberal priest! I’ve had lots of JW friendships at work and having worked in public school music classrooms, I have felt profound respect and pity for the JW kids at Christmas time.
Jaded, will your children be knocking on doors on Saturday mornings? Will they be allowed to celebrate Christmas and sing carols? Will the baby in the manger be called the incarnation of God or Michael? Will your kids get to have birthday parties? These are kind of important questions that Father Doubting Thomas doesn’t seem to care to bring up.
I went through an annulment process also before I became Catholic. I am a convert to Catholicism and as such my religion is very precious to me. I would never have married anyone who would have refused to raise my children as loyal Catholics. Makes me wonder just how devout your husband truly is.
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rayne89
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kim wilson:
Devout Catholic means things to different people. A friend referred to her MIL as a devout Catholic and then went on to tell me how she was heavily involved in Call to Action. I wouldn’t exactly consider that a devout Catholic.
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rayne89
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Jaded only you know the dynamics of the relationship between you and your fiance. We can only give advice as outsiders from our own experience.
My faith was not very important to me until I became pregnant and then things changed rapidly. It’s not an uncommon occurance. You and your husband (or both) may suddenly have very strong feelings about how the children should be raised as far as faith. You seem to get a little flip when people present realistic concerns.
You priest who seems very kind and welcoming is a little lax when it comes to the hard facts about the unity issue when it comes to marriage and faith. Not to say that it couldn’t work but you need to be aware and realistic about future issues.
My husband was raised part JW and part pentecostal and was agnostic by the time I met him. It is confusing for a child. Children are very black and white about what is true and what is not. Either Jesus is God or he isn’t. Either there’s a Holy Trinity or their isn’t. Either the church has the authority handed down from Peter to his successors or it doesn’t. Either it’s a sin to miss Mass on Sunday or it isn’t. This you’ll just have to decide for yourself stuff could easily make a child believe none of it is true. If the adults don’t even agree (or know) what is a child supposed to think?You need to be prepared for these issues. You can’t just believe it will never happen.
My husband is now Catholic and we raise our children in the faith together. I consider myself devout at this point in my life. Although others are free to believe other things and I don’t believe in teaching religion bashing at all, I would not allow my daughter to be taught another doctrine is equally true.
Please just be realistic about what you may face. May God Bless you and your future husband.
My faith was not very important to me until I became pregnant and then things changed rapidly. It’s not an uncommon occurance. You and your husband (or both) may suddenly have very strong feelings about how the children should be raised as far as faith. You seem to get a little flip when people present realistic concerns.
You priest who seems very kind and welcoming is a little lax when it comes to the hard facts about the unity issue when it comes to marriage and faith. Not to say that it couldn’t work but you need to be aware and realistic about future issues.
My husband was raised part JW and part pentecostal and was agnostic by the time I met him. It is confusing for a child. Children are very black and white about what is true and what is not. Either Jesus is God or he isn’t. Either there’s a Holy Trinity or their isn’t. Either the church has the authority handed down from Peter to his successors or it doesn’t. Either it’s a sin to miss Mass on Sunday or it isn’t. This you’ll just have to decide for yourself stuff could easily make a child believe none of it is true. If the adults don’t even agree (or know) what is a child supposed to think?You need to be prepared for these issues. You can’t just believe it will never happen.
My husband is now Catholic and we raise our children in the faith together. I consider myself devout at this point in my life. Although others are free to believe other things and I don’t believe in teaching religion bashing at all, I would not allow my daughter to be taught another doctrine is equally true.
Please just be realistic about what you may face. May God Bless you and your future husband.
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Jaded27
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kim wilson:
www.angelfire.com/ma2/newworld/
writing/we_are_not_deprived.doc
If it doesn’t work (doesn’t allow direct linking) just copy and paste it into your browser instead of clicking on it.
kim wilson:
kim wilson:
And Rayne, I do not get “flip” when people raise real concerns. I just find it frustrating to have to repeat over and over and over again that we have had a long time to discuss all these issues and have come to all the conclusions we need about them. We are all set in talking about children, marriage, all that. We’re clear and that’s all that matters. I don’t think getting flip when I have to repeat the same thing again and again is totally uncalled for.
No need to feel pity for them. They probably feel the same way about your kids having to celebrate it. We always found fun things to do instead of celebrating holidays.
www.angelfire.com/ma2/newworld/
writing/we_are_not_deprived.doc
If it doesn’t work (doesn’t allow direct linking) just copy and paste it into your browser instead of clicking on it.
kim wilson:
yes, no (only allowed to go to their grandparents’ house and have “family time” just like I did), he’s not god, no
kim wilson:
Devout enough to marry someone whom he loves instead of letting religion divide us.
And Rayne, I do not get “flip” when people raise real concerns. I just find it frustrating to have to repeat over and over and over again that we have had a long time to discuss all these issues and have come to all the conclusions we need about them. We are all set in talking about children, marriage, all that. We’re clear and that’s all that matters. I don’t think getting flip when I have to repeat the same thing again and again is totally uncalled for.
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kim_wilson
Guest
Jada,
Well you have a great little website and I used your Star Wars/Star Trek collage for a screen background. I’ve been a trekkie since I was 6 and a Star Wars nerd since I was 17.
And judging from your photos, you will make quite a stunning bride.
However I’m just a little concerned about a situation where your children will be knocking on Fr. Laidback’s door and handing him a Watchtower on Saturday morning and then receiving communion from Fr. Laidback at Saturday 5:00 Mass. Is Father L. aware that you will be raising them as JW’s simultaneously?
The time you spend awaiting your annulment (if you get it–it’s not always a guarantee) will be a good time to think about all these things.
kim
Well you have a great little website and I used your Star Wars/Star Trek collage for a screen background. I’ve been a trekkie since I was 6 and a Star Wars nerd since I was 17.
And judging from your photos, you will make quite a stunning bride.
However I’m just a little concerned about a situation where your children will be knocking on Fr. Laidback’s door and handing him a Watchtower on Saturday morning and then receiving communion from Fr. Laidback at Saturday 5:00 Mass. Is Father L. aware that you will be raising them as JW’s simultaneously?
The time you spend awaiting your annulment (if you get it–it’s not always a guarantee) will be a good time to think about all these things.
kim
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rayne89
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I read some of the stuff on your website. I’m a little confused. in Feb of this year it talks about you being disfellowshiped. I’m not that familiar with JW stuff. What does that mean exactly?
I didn’t see anything referring to holidays on your site maybe I missed it. I know my husband has a lot of resentment about not celebrating holidays. Being the only kid without a halloween costume. Not being able to celebrate his birthday like all the other kids in his class. When he was 13 his mom finally had enough. His dad agreed they could celebrate holidays if she stopped going to church. So she stopped going to church. By then it was pretty late in the game. Christmas is still particularily tough for my hubby even now, brings back a lot of bad memories.
It’s been very interesting reading your progress with your wedding plans and annulment and stuff. I get the feeling you’re not looking for advice. You seem to think you’ve got it all figured out already.
In that case I wish you all the best.
I didn’t see anything referring to holidays on your site maybe I missed it. I know my husband has a lot of resentment about not celebrating holidays. Being the only kid without a halloween costume. Not being able to celebrate his birthday like all the other kids in his class. When he was 13 his mom finally had enough. His dad agreed they could celebrate holidays if she stopped going to church. So she stopped going to church. By then it was pretty late in the game. Christmas is still particularily tough for my hubby even now, brings back a lot of bad memories.
It’s been very interesting reading your progress with your wedding plans and annulment and stuff. I get the feeling you’re not looking for advice. You seem to think you’ve got it all figured out already.
In that case I wish you all the best.
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