Everything you mentioned in your list is information I am interested in. Basically, I am a non-Catholic, and my long-term Catholic boyfriend has begun talking about marriage. I am hesitant to go further into these conversations until I know more about what our religious differences will mean for us here…
Thank you!
Mayleigh
It is very wise to discuss religion WAY before the commitment to marr is made.
(1) Whether or not it’s a good idea:
My personal opinion is “no.” And that has nothing to do with non-Catholics being “good” or “bad” or whatever. I was a non-Catholic until I converted-- and I didn’t date outside my religion then either… but when I became a Catholic, I maintained that stance. Here’s why: religion is the most important thing. If I cannot share that with my spouse, I feel I cannot be who God expects me to be. And, I would never date anyone “hoping” they would convert or do it my way. Anyway, that’s me.
Many people say it can “work” but I think that depends on many factors. What does “working” mean? It means compromises, some of which I was not willing to make. A practicing Catholic and a non-practicing “whatever” (insert your denomination) can work. A non-practicing Catholic and a practicing “whatever” can work. Typically that’s because the one who’s non-practicing doesn’t really care and let’s the one who is practicing do whatever they want.
Two devoutly practicing people who have opposing/differing religions are the least likely to “work” IMHO.
(2) What’s required:
A Catholic must get permission for a mixed marriage (baptized non-Catholic)
A Catholic must get a dispensation from disparity of cult (marriage to an unbaptized person)
A Catholic must get a dispensation from canonical form if they are going to marry the non-Catholic somewhere other than in the Catholic Church
The couple must attend Catholic marriage preparation, do all the premarital investigation of freedom to marry, fill out paperwork, etc.
The Catholic must promise to raise his/her children in the Catholic faith-- to do all in their power to do so-- the non-Catholic must be informed of this promise, but does not make the promise.
The Catholic needs to consider whether the non-Catholic will support things like going to Mass every week, Holy Days, fast and abstinence from meat days, will live according to Catholic moral teaching on topics like contraception, etc.
Any prior marriages on the part of either party is an impediment to marriage. Each would have to be declared free to marry-- this would include a tribunal annulment process for the non-Catholic if they’d been married before.
(3) Permission:
The permission for mixed marriage/disparity of cult is going to be granted if-- in the opinion of the priest and bishop-- the Catholic’s ability to freely practice their religion is not in danger and the Catholic’s ability to raise their children as Catholics is not going to be in danger. This would be done through interviews with the couple.
In the US-- pretty much it’s a formality. But, in other parts of the world-- for example, a Catholic living in a country governed by Sharia Law-- they would be in real danger of being forced to abandon the Catholic faith or have their children raised as Muslims if they were to marry a Muslim… so in parts of the world this is much more serious and much more likely to be cause for permission to be denied.
Hope that helps.
