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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Well, I am going to backtrack and also correct “shutter.” A shutter is a contraption that covers a window in case of a hurricane (or a tempest, in a teapot or in a larger body of water), or, alternatively, a shutter is a camera aperture for controlling the light that hits the film inside.
One can SHUDDER at the thought of something repulsive. One can never SHUTTER.
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jmjconder
Guest
**Sorry I disagree with you - as does the Catholic Church.
Come now. The marital embrace is still sex with your spouse.
And I suppose the husband gets no pleasure.
The term “sex” is not the same as the martial embrace.
Unfortunately I have had both and they are not the same…one is for pleasure and one is for the sacrificail love of a married couple.**
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Debora123
Guest
Please provide a source for where exactly the Catholic Church states that the marital embrace is not sex with one’s spouse.
Until then, please do not make false claims regarding what the Church teaches.
Thank you.
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jmjconder
Guest
**I did not get the link.
Are you saying the Vatican equates “sex” with the expressed love of unity and procreation between a maried man and women as one in the same?
OM Gosh - I will pray for you.
You have no idea the difference between the marital embrace and sex? Please ponder and seek out the difference - it will give you a whole new way of fulfillment in what the “world” calls - sex. The marital embrace has so much more to offer.**
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AnaTurin
Guest
As a woman, my question would be WHERE does it hurt? Because if it is mostly your clitoris, then you could try different positions.
It’s great that he wants to please you; some men are very selfish about sex. But I’m sure he will find that there are other ways besides oral sex!
Tell him you want to try different things for goodness sake. Have him lay down on his back with you on top. I have friends that say that’s the only thing that “works” for them. If you have an orgasm during intercourse without oral stimulation, there is a much smaller chance of being sensitive afterwards (trust me).
It’s great that he wants to please you; some men are very selfish about sex. But I’m sure he will find that there are other ways besides oral sex!
Tell him you want to try different things for goodness sake. Have him lay down on his back with you on top. I have friends that say that’s the only thing that “works” for them. If you have an orgasm during intercourse without oral stimulation, there is a much smaller chance of being sensitive afterwards (trust me).
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
You are so wrong here. And you are taking this thread seriously off topic. There is nothing forbidden about using the term “sex” or “sexual intercourse” or “sexual relations.” One post above gave you a link to the term on the Vatican website. Your Victorian attitude is YOUR OWN and not the Church’s. Get over it.
Here is the link once more. Click it. The title is
EDUCATIONAL GUIDANCE IN HUMAN LOVE
Outlines for sex education
Sex Education from the Vatican website
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onthisrock
Guest
Absolutely! There are no laws of how a woman can reach orgasim. It doesn’t have to be with the man inside of her. The fact is…after a woman has an orgasim, (rarely through intercourse)the glands that secret lubricative mucus in the vagina (opposed to cervical mucus for charting purposes) Once you orgasim, you start to dry up as that lubrication starts to go away. It is best to let him go first, then you will have the vaginal lubrication needed. You may also use Pre-Seed, it is a fertility friendly lubrication that you could put in you or on his penis before intercourse. Trust me…a Napro doctor introduced us to that during a sperm analysis. they take a perferated condom so some semen gets out and give a sample of Pre-Seed to put on him in case it is awkward. A woman’s orgasim has nothing to do with, or very little to do with getting pregnant. If he will give you oral pleasures after sex…you found a one in a million! I have my own issues, which are truly more worrisome. My husband has gotten so heavy and is so small in size down there…that we can only get him to the point of being about to orgasim and then I hop on top so he doesn’t spill his seed. I have severe depression so I have no interest in orgasim, so it’s almost like I’m a baby machine…not that he see’s it that way. But I am just so disinterested. Lets both pray for each other!!(mature audiences only!)
Hello CAF. It took me a while to get the courage to make this post, and I apologize for its graphic nature.But this issue has really become a problem for me in my new marriage.
My husband and I waited until we were married to have intimate relations. Our understanding was that as long as the act ended with the man ejaculating into the woman, anything else we did up to that point was okay. So for these last few months he has performed oral sex on me and then we proceeded to have vaginal intercourse. The problem is that once I have reached orgasm (MAN, this is embarrassing!) I become very, very sensitive and then vaginal intercourse HURTS! We have tried different positions, going slower, etc, but the pain is almost unbearable. I have suggested that we just skip the foreplay, but he doesn’t want to have to do that because he wants sex to be enjoyable for me too. Honestly, i don’t want to have to give that up either, but I am starting to really dread being intimate because I either have to feel like I’m just an instrument of my husbands pleasure and get none of my own, or I receive pleasure too but then must feel such terrible pain during the “main act.”
If we could have intercourse first and THEN focus on my needs, this would solve all of the above problems. As far as I know though, that is not allowed. Anyway, what all this babbling has been leading up to is this question: In my situation, do you guys think my husband and I can engage in intercourse FIRST and then do oral sex after? Thank you for your help!
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faithfully
Guest
I’m always accepting of prayers.
But you really need to drop the condescending attitude.
You are well aware the church only teaches that sex is permissable between man and woman who are married. If they are outlining a course in Sex Education, please tell me who you think such a teaching is for. It is you who is trying to draw some sort of perverted distinction between “sex” and “marital embrace”. And it is you spreading a falsehood about our faith structure.
It’s this sort of talk that makes people wonder what the heck is wrong with Catholics. That they can’t even say the word “sex” without “shuddering”. It casts a negative and untruthful light on such a beautiful faith.
OP, this is a reason, while you seek advise and guidance, please make sure you do in fact seek written sources with the imprimatur stamp. If you, or someone else, is not familar with that term Wiki has a good explanation: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imprimatur
This book would be a good start: tinyurl.com/99vdv48
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AnaTurin
Guest
Exactly.
“Marital Embrace” is simply a more discrete, more “family friendly” if you will, way of saying SEX.
Yes, there is a difference between what Pagan hedonists do, and there is a difference between sex that brings life and sex that brings death, but for a validly married couple,
Marital Embrace=Sex
“Marital Embrace” is simply a more discrete, more “family friendly” if you will, way of saying SEX.
Yes, there is a difference between what Pagan hedonists do, and there is a difference between sex that brings life and sex that brings death, but for a validly married couple,
Marital Embrace=Sex
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Debora123
Guest
JMJ Conder,
Did you not see my post?
I’m still waiting…
Did you not see my post?
I’m still waiting…
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Corki
Guest
I think it would be more correct to say that the marital embrace** is **sex but not **just **sex. The marital embrace without sex would fail in terms of the Church’s requirement to be unitive and procreative. There is no procreation without sex.
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Good point! Maybe the pedantic previous poster means that the marital embrace is more than just the mechanical act. But she seems to see the term “sex” as excluding any intimacy, spirituality, unity, etc. which is simply very misguided. Sexual intercourse is the marital embrace, if it takes place within a marriage. Obviously the ideal is that every act be 100% unitive and procreative, but even if some are less than 100% ideal, it is still the marital embrace and it is still sexual intercourse. It’s all terminology, really.
But let’s not belabor the point here. The OP had her question answered and hopefully her marital embrace will be enhanced and expanded!
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Gordon_Sims
Guest
I always shutter my windows at the first sign of martial embraces.Looks like your admonitions fell on deaf ears…
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AnaTurin
Guest
hahaha!I always shutter my windows at the first sign of martial embraces.
Yeah, and a bit of advice…
Go outside, at night, and MAKE SURE that people outside can’t see anything through your curtains!!!
yeah, it only happened one time (to my knowledge) but we were um… in a room that we weren’t normally, and had some lights on, and later learned that these curtains were not as opaque as I had thought! You could see through them. Clearly and distinctively, (blurry and tinted red).
Thank goodness we moved from there a few months later! (it was a very busy street too!)
Wow, we need an embarrassing stories thread.
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VeritasLuxMea
Guest
I just had sex - er, the marital embrace with my wife. I regret to inform you that I experienced pleasure during this activity. I tried very much not to, I endeavored to make it as non-pleasurable as possible and it just didn’t work! Should I go to confession?
TRJ, with this dangerous and radical information, I am afraid that the original poster will find the act pleasurable. We must work quickly to prevent this impending tragedy!
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SpeSalvi
Guest
I see where you’re coming from, but to deny either aspect of marital sexual relations- the pleasure or the sacrifice- is to deny God’s inherent design for it.
You are arguing that sex= pleasure and nothing else, and the marital embrace= sacrifice and nothing else. Both of those definitions are wrong. Just like with so many things in the church, intention is SO important- and semantics don’t matter… Whether it’s called Sex, The Marital Embrace, or even “Mommy and Daddy Funtimes” or WHATEVER- it doesn’t matter. What matters is that, when you enter into it, you do it recognizing and rejoicing in it’s inherent design; as a beautiful and sacred (and- dare I say it- pleasurable) gift from God.
I could no more separate God from the Eucharist than I could Pleasure from Sacrifice during sex. To do so would make the act disordered and NOT kosher
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jmjconder
Guest
**Sounds like none of the posts understand what I am trying to convey.
If you asked the general public what sex is - many will agree it is intercourse. However if you ask what the MARITAL (thank you for pointing out my sp errors in such a loving ?] way) embrace is few could define it.
Is sex the same as the marital embrace…NO. is the marital embrace the same as sex - I guess most of you in the thread believe so. I continue to refuse to call what my spouse and I exchange as “sex.”
This is a Catholic forum ~ I wonder why more of the posts on this thread do not understand the difference.**
If you asked the general public what sex is - many will agree it is intercourse. However if you ask what the MARITAL (thank you for pointing out my sp errors in such a loving ?] way) embrace is few could define it.
Is sex the same as the marital embrace…NO. is the marital embrace the same as sex - I guess most of you in the thread believe so. I continue to refuse to call what my spouse and I exchange as “sex.”
This is a Catholic forum ~ I wonder why more of the posts on this thread do not understand the difference.**
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The_Bucket
Guest
Because you’re referring to a distinction that is only present in your head, not one that exists in ours or in reality. If you want to distinguish marital relations from fornication, then feel free. Both are sexual actions. One is licit and the other is not. That’s the only distinction; you’re getting far too hung up on diction.
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