Introvert in need of advice

[two1176]

I have a dilemma. I believe that I am called to the priesthood but I am very introverted. I am not that great at public speaking but I can do it when asked. At the same time, I feel that I have a vocation to the priesthood. I was wondering if there are other introverted/shy people in the same situation and if so, how do you handle public ministry and shyness. I know that there are a number of introverted priests and religious, I am just curious as to how they handle anxiety. Thanks in advance!

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

I have a dilemma. I believe that I am called to the priesthood but I am very introverted. I am not that great at public speaking but I can do it when asked. At the same time, I feel that I have a vocation to the priesthood. I was wondering if there are other introverted/shy people in the same situation and if so, how do you handle public ministry and shyness. I know that there are a number of introverted priests and religious, I am just curious as to how they handle anxiety. Thanks in advance!

The anxiety will always be there. I have found that the more I work on it and with it the more manageable it has become.

 

[rowermath]

What direction are you thinking about? Diocesan or religious? That might also be something to consider if you haven’t already.

In Christ,

m.a.t.h.

 

[po18guy]

How about looking into a contemplative order?

 

[two1176]

i was thinking of the diocese. My diocese is very solid in the Faith and they are in need of priests. I thought about a contemplative community, but I am worried that if I join one such as the trappists, I will never get to see my family. I know that many monastic communities never leave the cloister unless they have to go to the doctor. I have to do more investigating.

 

[Cloisters]

i was thinking of the diocese. My diocese is very solid in the Faith and they are in need of priests. I thought about a contemplative community, but I am worried that if I join one such as the trappists, I will never get to see my family. I know that many monastic communities never leave the cloister unless they have to go to the doctor. I have to do more investigating.

I’m an introvert, too, and have an internet ministry called Cloister Outreach.

cloisters.tripod.com/

I’ve started a new religious organization which will eventually become a religious community of hermits-in-diaspora (a private association of the faithful with the intention of becoming an institute of religious life). This is under the guidance and encouragement of my diocese.

cloisters.tripod.com/cloisterites/

I know the Carthusians are hermits with priests, as are the Camaldolese, but the latter rule allows for absolute reclusion, which almost sounds like what you’re being led to do. The Holy Ghost works on attraction, and grace builds on nature, so if you’re not being led to speak to the populace, then don’t force it.

There’s also a priest in the Oklahoma City diocese who lives a life of eucharistic adoration and reclusion with his bishop’s blessing. He has a blog. Hopefully, someone out there has the URL.

Please feel free to PM me if you so desire.

Blessings,
Cloisters

 

[Trishie]

I was introverted for years. It’s caring about other people, trying to bless them by understanding, kindness, help, that makes you leave a lot of shyness behind. I was painfully shy…but very friendly now, because of the above reason.

I guess you have to forget to be self-conscious because you’re focussing on others. You may be very shy, but you can gradually become confident.

People do accept you as who you project to them in general. If you are hesitant, they don’t feel confident about you, but if you flourish in your warmth towards others, that’s how they perceive you, and you can give them a whole lot more that when you were shy and sel-doubting. You end up not being shy or lacking in confidence. It’s caring about others that achieves this!

 

[two1176]

I do have to make a greater effort in being sociable. As an introvert, I do not wear my emotions on my sleeve and I believe that sometimes I come off as angry or depressed even if that is not the case. This summer, I plan on taking a public speaking course at the local community college to help overcome my stage fright. Thanks for all the good advice.

 

[Trishie]

God bless you, and all the best with the course. Understood about the privacy of emotions… one does meet more reserved priest and religious, and that’s good too… as we have to be authentic, and sometimes silences or brief words preach good homilies! Your private emotions are mostly deeply relevant between God and you and that doesn’t make you less effective. It has potential to be the opposite.

And it does take time for us to unfold into the most effective person that we are created to be, whether introverted or extroverted. You are a good, sincere person, and this in itself is blessing to others.

 

[two1176]

Thanks Trishie for the kind words and support. I am new to the forum and I am impressed at how supportive people are here.:thankyou:

 

[po18guy]

I do have to make a greater effort in being sociable. As an introvert, I do not wear my emotions on my sleeve and I believe that sometimes I come off as angry or depressed even if that is not the case. This summer, I plan on taking a public speaking course at the local community college to help overcome my stage fright. Thanks for all the good advice.

Many actors and actresses suffered from stage fright. It did not hold them back much, if at all. Also, consider that you are thinking of consecrating yourself to the Lord. As such, He will strengthen you and the Holy Spirit will give you the words when they are needed.

The vocation does call for “people persons” though. If your heart is filled with love of God and of neighbor, it will not be the problem that you currently think it is. Have you attended a “Quo vadis” retreat? They are designed for those who are investigating possible vocations. A Priest and/or a Bishop is present to answer questions and give direction.

Contact your parish or archdiocese for information on the retreats.

Christ’s peace.

 

[Angeluzza]

I don’t know for sure, but I think I read somewhere once that extroverts do better in a cloister than introverts - which is odd, as you would think it would be the other way around at first.

If that is so, maybe the opposite is true for those who have vocations outside the cloister - maybe introverts do better in vocations where they are engaged with others a lot and have to become extroverts.

 

[two1176]

I have never heard of a Quo Vadis retreat. I will have to look into that. I have heard that extroverts do better in cloisters which is hard to imagine. The one positive aspect of being an introverted diocesesan (spelling) priest is that living and being alone is easier for introverted people. I need alone time to reenergize while extroverts lose energy when they are alone. Either extreme is unhealthy.

 

[3Sanctus]

If you makes you feel any better I’m a pretty extroverted guy who recently graduated from college and is discerning a vocation to become a Trappist monk.

I read someplace that Saint Bruno (the founder of the Carthusians) had a friend tell him that if Saint Bruno didn’t love the world so much (obviously in a Christian manner) that he would have thought the man became a monk to get away from the world, seemingly indicating he was an extrovert of sorts.

Also remember the example of Moses, who we are told wasn’t exactly an extrovert himself and was only able to speak to and lead God’s people by His grace. Whatever God needs you to do, you’ll find the grace to do it. Otherwise none of us would amount to anything, due to our sinfulness. Just surrender to Him and you will find your way. Our wonderful God works in mysterious ways.

In Christ,
Stephen

 

[two1176]

If you makes you feel any better I’m a pretty extroverted guy who recently graduated from college and is discerning a vocation to become a Trappist monk.

I read someplace that Saint Bruno (the founder of the Carthusians) had a friend tell him that if Saint Bruno didn’t love the world so much (obviously in a Christian manner) that he would have thought the man became a monk to get away from the world, seemingly indicating he was an extrovert of sorts.

Also remember the example of Moses, who we are told wasn’t exactly an extrovert himself and was only able to speak to and lead God’s people by His grace. Whatever God needs you to do, you’ll find the grace to do it. Otherwise none of us would amount to anything, due to our sinfulness. Just surrender to Him and you will find your way. Our wonderful God works in mysterious ways.

In Christ,
Stephen

Thanks for the good advice Stephen. I thought about becoming a monk myself but I’m not sure if it would be healthy for me. I have to work on becoming more extroverted. I read on another thread that St. John Vianney was an introvert. He is one of my favorite Saints. I have also met Fr. Corapi in person after a day of his talks and I thought he would be really outgoing. When I met him he was extremely shy and when I complimented him, he looked uncomfortable and even embarrassed. Just goes to show you.
Good luck with your vocation, we need good religious in all forms.

 

[3Sanctus]

Just follow Him and all things will come to fruition.

In His Hope,
Stephen

 

[aksolitude]

Thanks Trishie for the kind words and support. I am new to the forum and I am impressed at how supportive people are here.:thankyou:

I too am an introvert. But it doesn’t mean that you’re shy. It just means that you gain your energy through time alone. Extraverts get their energy through being with others. It’s really the only difference.

Each priest is called to his strengths, and all have their weaknesses. Seminary, and lots of prayer will help you gain confidence. It may not be that you’ll be totally comfortable in public speaking, but you’ll learn to cover that up and get used to a certain level of it. But you’ll also find you have strengths in other things, such as spiritual counseling, one on one time with troubled souls who need you, for example. You are blest just from the call, and the Holy Spirit will lead you through it.

God bless you!!!

 

[two1176]

I have a book about introverts and it claims that there are actually more introverts in society than extroverts. Parties and things of that nature are full of people who would rather be at home reading. Extroverts are just more noticeable because they are more talkative and outgoing.
Sometimes I forget that God gives grace to those He calls. Often I feel like I have to do it all by myself and do it perfectly. The retired priest at my parish told me that he prepares as well as he can and then he lets the Holy Spirit do the rest. He said where else, but at Mass, that you have such a diverse group of people. He said when he gives his homily he knows that the Holy Spirit is working in each person making them receptive to his message. I told him that really takes the pressure off you and he said “exactly”.

 

[aksolitude]

That’s great advice! I’m willing to believe most priests are in fact introverts. If we gain our strength through time alone, then that’s also when we are taking time to pray, talk, and trust our Lord. Through that, do we let the Holy Spirit work within us.

Here I am providing my thoughts to your thread, and you ended up giving back exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!!

 

[two1176]

That’s great advice! I’m willing to believe most priests are in fact introverts. If we gain our strength through time alone, then that’s also when we are taking time to pray, talk, and trust our Lord. Through that, do we let the Holy Spirit work within us.

Here I am providing my thoughts to your thread, and you ended up giving back exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!!

I am happy to be helpful. I think it is a great way of looking at things. I only met with this priest once. When he was talking I felt like taking notes because he had a lot of great advice. I think I will ask him to be my spiritual director.
I was in formation with a community that was very liberal and it made me question my vocation. Since I have left, my Faith has gotten stronger and I have come to realize that I may have a vocation to the priesthood. I was taking classes at the Catholic Theological Union in Chicago which is very liberal. A steady diet of luke-warm, fuzzy theology is a good way to weaken and possibly destroy one’s faith. If you are planning on joining a religious community, make sure you do your homework and find out where they study and what kind of community prayer life they have. Inclusive language and disdain for Eucharistic adoration should be a red flag. I am lucky that my home diocese (Allentown) is solid in the faith.