Invalid Marriages and RCIA

[tinalewis]

Not necessarily. I dropped out of RCIA in January of 2008, a week before the Rite of Sending, because my husband’s annulment process has stalled at that point. I wasn’t going to be able to participate in the formal meeting with the bishop, and it felt good to be out of RCIA, frankly. It was starting to feel like chewing broken glass to watch my RCIA classmates happily continue and share their experiences while I listened not knowing when I would be able to join them. No one wanted to hear about my pain during the annulment process, nor should they. Also, I was working 7-day weeks and having to go to the dismissal thing in addition to regular Sunday Mass was a schedule-juggling act I was relieved to be free from.

I think from my own personal experience, that it’s cruel to expect someone to sit and watch others enjoy and share an experience they want so much to have themselves. You wouldn’t sit a starving person down and eat a big meal in front of them, would you? And afterward tell them how much it meant to you to have such nourishing food? That’s what it’s like for someone in RCIA who is going through an annulment.

 

[psr13]

That is very disappointing to hear, and rather unusual. I would encourage you to speak with the head of RCIA and consider you and that person appraching the priest. RCIA is about preparation and everybody should be prepared as best we can prepare them. Many share your situation and they typically stay in a prolonged preparation because of their personnal situation. These people often cannot participate in Rites and sacraments until their outstanding issues are cleared. The priest needs to provide an answer why he thinks unprepared people are better off.

The priest is the one who runs the RCIA program. I couldn’t justify driving there every week if I weren’t going to be welcomed into the church. After it started we moved, and it took over an hour to get home from the church. No church around here would let us enter the program after it had already started. Plus, the priest definitely wouldn’t have liked us to stay. The first day when we told him we were having troubles getting ahold of the church in the Philippines he said he didn’t want us taking up space.

 

[Texas_Roofer]

The priest is the one who runs the RCIA program. I couldn’t justify driving there every week if I weren’t going to be welcomed into the church. After it started we moved, and it took over an hour to get home from the church. No church around here would let us enter the program after it had already started. Plus, the priest definitely wouldn’t have liked us to stay. The first day when we told him we were having troubles getting ahold of the church in the Philippines he said he didn’t want us taking up space.

This is just terrible to read, you are certainly welcome in the Church. The Church only exists to help people. I hope you find a new parish. I would hope this is a misunderstanding, no one goes to church or class to take up space.

 

[StillWondering]

For those upset with the situation. Remember that while your own vows may be true and complete, your spouse’s may not. It takes both to have a valid marriage. If the spouse was Catholic and fails to follow Canon Law, they can invalidate the marriage they have with you.

This happens to Catholic marriages too. If Jill marriages John who she dearly loves and commits herself to, she made honest vows. Now she does not know that John actually had other ideas. And after they marry for 20 years, she finds out that he was not properly disposed of to marry and her marriage is invalid. It is still invalid. She did not sin before during the 20 years because she did not know. But now that she knows, it is hard but the best thing to do is to either regularize the marriage or live unmarried with the spouse.

This is not your situation alone nor is it an arbitrary ruling from some committee. It is the obedient teaching of the Church passed down from Christ through the Apostles.

 

[SpaceNeedle]

This is just terrible to read, you are certainly welcome in the Church. The Church only exists to help people. I hope you find a new parish. I would hope this is a misunderstanding, no one goes to church or class to take up space.

Agree, wholeheartedly.

 

[Dbaba]

Originally Posted by psr13
The priest is the one who runs the RCIA program. I couldn’t justify driving there every week if I weren’t going to be welcomed into the church. After it started we moved, and it took over an hour to get home from the church. No church around here would let us enter the program after it had already started. Plus, the priest definitely wouldn’t have liked us to stay. The first day when we told him we were having troubles getting ahold of the church in the Philippines he said he didn’t want us taking up space.

It is these type of stories that give the Catholic church a bad reputation.
I hope you have found peace now.

 

[psr13]

For those upset with the situation. Remember that while your own vows may be true and complete, your spouse’s may not. It takes both to have a valid marriage. If the spouse was Catholic and fails to follow Canon Law, they can invalidate the marriage they have with you.

This happens to Catholic marriages too. If Jill marriages John who she dearly loves and commits herself to, she made honest vows. Now she does not know that John actually had other ideas. And after they marry for 20 years, she finds out that he was not properly disposed of to marry and her marriage is invalid. It is still invalid. She did not sin before during the 20 years because she did not know. But now that she knows, it is hard but the best thing to do is to either regularize the marriage or live unmarried with the spouse.

This is not your situation alone nor is it an arbitrary ruling from some committee. It is the obedient teaching of the Church passed down from Christ through the Apostles.

I can see a deadline for ordinary annulments which take a great deal of time. However, his is very straightforward as he was a Catholic married to a non-Catholic non in a Catholic ceremony. It takes a matter of weeks according to every priest we have talked to.

 

[Phemie]

I can see a deadline for ordinary annulments which take a great deal of time. However, his is very straightforward as he was a Catholic married to a non-Catholic non in a Catholic ceremony. It takes a matter of weeks according to every priest we have talked to.

Unfortunately, for that you need all the pertinent documents: Recent Certificate of Baptism, marriage records showing where the wedding was celebrated and by whom, divorce papers. The problem is that those documents are not readily available.

 

[lissa70]

Rachel - thank you for your inspiring story of how you put God first and he worked everything out for you in a way you would have never expected. I have always felt that if I put God first and obey his commands it will bring me the most happiness. What faith you have! And your “leap of faith” was an opportunity for God to show his Glory.

Thank you again. I hope you do not mind if I anonymously share your story with my RCIA team leaders.