Irish Bishop bans Eulogies

[didymus]

BBC:

Funeral eulogies banned in Irish Catholic diocese

Funeral eulogies are to be banned in one of the largest Catholic dioceses in the Republic of Ireland. The new directive was issued to priests in the diocese under the bishop of Meath, Dr Michael Smith.
Bishop Smith said he wanted to avoid “dumbing down” at Catholic funeral services and that the focus should be on the Mass.
At some Catholic funerals friends or relatives of the deceased contribute to the eulogy with personalised poems, readings and stories about their loved one.
The bishop said he did not feel the church was the appropriate location for appreciations or eulogies but suggested they may be more suitable after the rite of committal in the cemetery or at a later stage.

     The bishop's directive also stresses that secular songs and  readings devoid of a Christian content are out of place in the funeral  liturgy. 
     Father Derek Derby of the diocese of Ashbourne is one of those who will be expected to follow the new directive.
     He said that he would support the policy as it similar to what they have been working within the diocese for the last 15 years.

‘Integrity of Eucharist’

“The context of the funeral Mass in the church should be focused entirely on the celebration of the Eucharist,” he said.
"What were trying to do is focus on the essence of the Christian funeral rite.
"The essence is, of course, two things. One is to support the family, through prayer and the community, but also the other function of it is that we support the person on their journey to salvation.
“What we are trying to do then is maintain the integrity of the Eucharist.”
Fr Derby said they are not saying there is a ban on eulogies
"I suppose that people’s understanding when they hear about a funeral is that they focus entirely on the funeral Mass but the rites of Christian funerals begin long before that.

I’ glad to see this.
At the last several funerals I’ve attended, there’s eulogies from family members but no sermon. I won’t have much control but I hope the priest will give a sermon, reminding everyone I’m trapped in Purgatory in need of prayer.
The now popular “He’s in a better place” sounds like the departed has moved to the suburbs.

 

[Didascalia]

When my Father dies I will certainly be giving him his eulogy! I have never been to a funeral/Mass in Ireland were one has never occurred! Its a very Irish thing, moving and touching, frequently an ancient lament sung in ancient Gaedhlag, but most importantly a eulogy, in my humble opinion, is a very human thing that connects the earthly soul and life of the deceased with the living congregation. The whole point of a good Eulogy in Ireland is that it and your memory may never forgotten, and that the living will always offer a prayer and light a candle. This will not be welcomed.
I can guarantee that the local Teachtaí Dála will get their eulogies when they die, but the local bin men will not!

 

[Dorothy]

It is not that the eulogies are totally forbidden; they are supposed to be given in a more suitable place, not when the congregation is gathered for Mass.

I am on the bereavement committee at my parish, and have experienced what it is like to have several family members come before the congregation and give long eulogies about their loved one. This was not suitable, took a lot of time, and detracted from the Mass.

I have also been to a gathering the day before the funeral Mass, and that is where the eulogies took place.
That was pleasant and congenial.

When the priest is told beforehand some things about the deceased, he mentions them in the homily

 

[john_ennis]

It is not that the eulogies are totally forbidden; they are supposed to be given in a more suitable place, not when the congregation is gathered for Mass.

That sums it up nicely. It’s a very very human thing to express our loving thoughts. Specifically recalling our loved one’s virtues is a healthy thing. The funeral is a convenient time and place to do this, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right time and place.

The mass ought to make us focus even more lovingly (and helpfully!), by its emphasis on our loved one’s dying and rising with Christ.

 

[Catherine_S]

Contrary to common assumption, the purpose of the funeral Mass is not to celebrate the life of the deceased but to offer worship to God for Christ’s victory over death, to comfort the mourners with prayers, and to pray for the soul of the deceased. Relatives or friends who wish to speak of the deceased’s character and accomplishments can do so at* a prayer service** to be held in a home or** funeral** home or at the graveside following the rite of committal (Germ89)*

 

[saveusfromhell]

When my Father dies I will certainly be giving him his eulogy! I have never been to a funeral/Mass in Ireland were one has never occurred! Its a very Irish thing, moving and touching, frequently an ancient lament sung in ancient Gaedhlag, but most importantly a eulogy, in my humble opinion, is a very human thing that connects the earthly soul and life of the deceased with the living congregation. The whole point of a good Eulogy in Ireland is that it and your memory may never forgotten, and that the living will always offer a prayer and light a candle. This will not be welcomed.
I can guarantee that the local Teachtaí Dála will get their eulogies when they die, but the local bin men will not!

“ancient lament sung in ancient irish” sorry ive never seen this at any irish funeral and hope not to.it sounds very pagan. Eulogies are a new thing at irish funerals. priest might have said a few words about the deceased that use to be the height of it. unfortunately regularly forced now to 15 min of dribble about the deceased. irish wake is the place for it. not in the house of our lord Jesus.

 

[gus]

When my Dad died back in the 90’s a gave the Eulogy which the pastor actually encouraged.
When my mom died I prepared s Eulogy for her funeral .The young priest told me that Eulogies were not permitted.
He allowed me a couple minutes speak but the theme had to be kept within the realm of religion.
The gospel themes the previous few weeks were on vocation.
I changed my Eulogy to reflect on a women clear in her vocation. Her house had been the primary refuge for generations of children grandchildren nieces nephews and there friends. It gave more purpose to her life than I otherwise could have expressed.

 

[gus]

I don’t understand why people don’t just do their eulogies at the graveside or the reception. It does not “fit,” it does not seem “proper,” to have a eulogy within the funeral liturgy itself. Even having eulogies after or even before the liturgy seems more appropriate and preferable.

I think the graveside is most appropriate. It can also be turned in to a sort of farewell thing, and I think that is good.

Gravesides in many parts of the country in winter are not easily accesssble especially by older people.
Often interrment is not even possible.

 

[gam197]

Grieving is necessary and natural. A eulogy is perfectly fine when done in the proper venue, but I believe if it is done immediately before or after the Mass it contravenes and obscures the unique healing quality of hope which manifests itself in the Catholic funeral Mass . Now what is legitimately permitted during the homily is remembrance of the faith life of the deceased, which of course, is different from a eulogy.

Maybe this could be done in the reception if they have one. Usually the mass is attended by people who knew this person or their family.

This is a human who graced us by their presence on this earth and it kind of bothers me that we can’t even give a few minutes to talk about their life and their effect on us all and hopefully it would include their faith.

I’ve had priests tell me about some raffle event and that there would be tickets sold in the back of the church after mass. Or I’ve had a visiting priest get up tell me that money is needed for this or that which if fine and then usually a second announcement is made at the end of mass to send checks to the church if people did not have cash. I’ve had them talk about the school or an event taking place at the school.

 

[Didascalia]

Hi JC, What I actually meant by an Irish lament was a sorrowful song of a very unique character that is impossible to define in words a lament has sung words!
Keening on the other hand, has no words or music, not even a tune! It’s a profound sound of sorrow that even now as I write this is making me emotional! My mother would keen, she died a few years ago at 63. You can only perform a keen in a state of tremendously deep sorrow, like the lose of a loved one. I remember the first time my mother keened, it was at my grandfathers wake in a tiny wee house that sat amidst a bog in County Tyrone, I was very young, very young. My mother never knew her mother, she died when my mum was two years old, my mum was the last of sixteen kids; my grandfather had had a tough time in the north during the 20;s when he joined the IRA after a lot of his relatives were killed by “specials” in Belfast. Google the Falls Road McMahon Massacre. My grandfather was interred on the Argenta Prison Ship for two years. All of that family pain and sorrow arose from the depths of my mothers soul at her dads wake. It is indelibly locked inside me, I had not thought on it for a long time and am now tearful in a thankful way, I sometimes fear that I will loose sight of things I experienced wit my mum, I’m very glad you brought back that memory of my mum keening.
Pax.

 

[Arizona_Mike]

Eulogies at funeral Masses
catholicherald.com/stories/Eulogies-at-funeral-Masses,16840?content_source=&category_id=&search_filter=&event_mode=&event_ts_from=&list_type=&order_by=&order_sort=&content_class=&sub_type=stories&town_id=

I wish that the parish staff who provides all the info about costs etc. would also inform family members there’s no eulogy during Mass. In fact there should be something in writing, to explain why.

I remember at a funeral Mass for one of my relatives, as the priest began the final commendation rite, my sister stood up to interrupt him - “Excuse me, Father, we haven’t done the eulogy yet,” and she proceeded to the ambo. He asked her to keep her comments to 2-3 minutes – she had spent hours writing it, and spoke for 12 minutes. Too many Catholics “expect” to be given the right to give a eulogy. I’ve seen parishes allow time before Mass begins, and several speakers go up to eulogize.

I agree with the policy not to allow eulogies during the funeral Mass, and in fact I’m thinking of leaving an instruction that no one is to eulogize for me – I want prayers for my soul. My life beyond this world is more important than the one I’m living now.

I feel the same way.

 

[Tigg]

Maybe this could be done in the reception if they have one. Usually the mass is attended by people who knew this person or their family.

This is a human who graced us by their presence on this earth and it kind of bothers me that we can’t even give a few minutes to talk about their life and their effect on us all and hopefully it would include their faith.

I’ve had priests tell me about some raffle event and that there would be tickets sold in the back of the church after mass. Or I’ve had a visiting priest get up tell me that money is needed for this or that which if fine and then usually a second announcement is made at the end of mass to send checks to the church if people did not have cash. I’ve had them talk about the school or an event taking place at the school.

The last four things are: Death, Judgment, Heaven, Hell. When I die, please love me enough to pray for my eternal soul, not dwell on what I was on this earth, because after death, I will no longer care about such things. I have entered a new life with promises of happiness I could only vaguely imagine.

I guess the real question becomes - is the Mass for the benefit of the soul of the deceased, or for those left behind? (Again, I’m not saying a eulogy is bad, but only that it should be a separate event from the Mass.)

 

[Tigg]

BBC:

I’ glad to see this.
At the last several funerals I’ve attended, there’s eulogies from family members but no sermon. I won’t have much control but I hope the priest will give a sermon, reminding everyone I’m trapped in Purgatory in need of prayer.

Wouldn’t it be great to have the gospel preached to those left behind?

The now popular “He’s in a better place” sounds like the departed has moved to the suburbs.

 

[Ridgerunner]

I have been to a number of Protestant funerals, and sometimes they’re almost circus-like. I don’t like eulogies. The deceased is before the Throne of God being judged, with absolute love but also with absolute justice.

And so we mortals purport to sit in judgment of the deceased; a judgment that might be so far off the real mark as to be a travesty, almost a defiance of Divine Judgment. And we’re tacitly encouraged to think our judgments of a person (always positive in eulogies) are what count, when they don’t count at all.

We pray at funerals, showing our concern for the deceased and asking God to be merciful. That’s the limit of what we can do.

 

[Phemie]

I have been to a number of Protestant funerals, and sometimes they’re almost circus-like.

I’m sorry to say that Protestants don’t have the monopoly on circus-like funerals. There have been some celebrated in my parish that certainly fit that description to a T.

 

[Slaney]

So that sort of rules out having " Old dogs and children and watermelon wine sung at mine. "

 

[didymus]

So that sort of rules out having " Old dogs and children and watermelon wine sung at mine. "

Well, Dies Irae seems out of fashion, I was wondering if I could get Nina Simone’s “Sinnerman” sung at mine.

 

[retire_early]

Wow! this forum discussion has caused me to register and make my first comment!

Being Irish-American, this topic caught my eye.

Seems like everyone is eulogizing these days, but when Mom died in 2010, I told the priest and the rest of the family there would be no eulogy at church (don’t ask me how the middle child of eight got to make the decisions this time–I don’t know). Didn’t seem proper, and besides, I felt like praying and, well…the Mass, itself, means so much.

Younger sister did one of those power-point movie thingys with pics of Mom and family in the church hall while we were all munching on a nice buffet after Mass. That was fine and a good thing. Everyone eulogized about Mom while sitting around eating. Seemed so natural. No need to speech-ify all occasions.

When they’re dead, they’re gone. Might as well tell them what a good person they are to their face. And give 'em a kiss and a hug while you have a chance.

 

[Tigg]

Wow! this forum discussion has caused me to register and make my first comment!

Being Irish-American, this topic caught my eye.

Seems like everyone is eulogizing these days, but when Mom died in 2010, I told the priest and the rest of the family there would be no eulogy at church (don’t ask me how the middle child of eight got to make the decisions this time–I don’t know). Didn’t seem proper, and besides, I felt like praying and, well…the Mass, itself, means so much.

---

Younger sister did one of those power-point movie thingys with pics of Mom and family in the church hall while we were all munching on a nice buffet after Mass. That was fine and a good thing. Everyone eulogized about Mom while sitting around eating. Seemed so natural. No need to speech-ify all occasions.

When they’re dead, they’re gone. Might as well tell them what a good person they are to their face. And give 'em a kiss and a hug while you have a chance.

Welcome to the forum…what a good idea your sister had and this is a great post!

 

[gracepoole]

I have been to a number of Protestant funerals, and sometimes they’re almost circus-like. I don’t like eulogies. The deceased is before the Throne of God being judged, with absolute love but also with absolute justice.

I’ve always assumed that one’s particular judgment happens immediately upon death.

And so we mortals purport to sit in judgment of the deceased; a judgment that might be so far off the real mark as to be a travesty, almost a defiance of Divine Judgment. And we’re tacitly encouraged to think our judgments of a person (always positive in eulogies) are what count, when they don’t count at all.

We pray at funerals, showing our concern for the deceased and asking God to be merciful. That’s the limit of what we can do.

God’s judgment is final, but this doesn’t mean we must ignore our own experiences with the deceased. Remarking on these memories isn’t equal to sitting in judgment – it’s human. Why wouldn’t God appreciate that? I have a hard time thinking that God is irritated with the son who wants to honor his mother by speaking about her devotion, faith, and love while asking for His mercy on her behalf. Only God can dispense absolute justice but we can attempt to demonstrate absolute love for the deceased.