Is Canon 1099 an Easy Annulment?

[DonnaNoble]

In my case, I didn’t know something was wrong until after I was married and was living with my husband. Honestly, at that point, just a few months into the marriage it crossed my mind that something was off. But I chose to ignore it and try to “make the marriage work.”

What I really regret, way back in marriage prep, the Catholic priest on my ex husband’s ship advised us not to get married. He never really explained why and didn’t push it and so I ignored it. That last bit was my mistake in all this. I wonder to this day if he knew something was wrong, what it was, and why he didn’t tell me. And I get mad at myself for not listening. I never would have knowingly married a gay man who had no intention of keeping his vows. But then, I never would have had my daughter and I can’t imagine life without her. So I can’t be too regretful.

 

[TheOldColonel]

It’s very hard to prove.

 

[AlNg]

Annulments are NOT wrong because they prove the sacrament never took place or was never consummated.

Not consummated, yes that is a reason for annulment, and there are others such as hiding that you have been married to someone else. But Cardinal Kasper has expressed doubts about the honesty of some marriage annulments. Just look at the statistics. 10 or so marriage annulments granted in 1929, but over 60,000 in some years recently in the USA. Has any other Church or ecclesiastical community experience such a huge jump in marriage breakups during the same period? i agree with what YourNameHere has said and I know of other cases similar to what he has mentioned.

Annulments nowadays are simply a legalistic way for Catholics to accept divorce, and it’s become a real charade.

Even some Cardinals have called the farce for what it is and recognized it’s de facto Catholic divorce even if de jure it’s “annulment.” Let’s call things what they are in fact, in reality where we live.

The Catholic Church would do good to adopt the Eastern Orthodox custom of allowing for divorce and remarriage after a period of penance and discernment, not use fancy legal loopholes to justify de facto divorce.

Yes, i believe you are right.

i am not sure about the 99%, but I heard that it was over 90% of those who apply for annulment in the USA are granted them. If 90% of Catholics are not married, but think that they were, doesn’t that raise red flags about the integrity of the marriage process in the Catholic Church?

 

[DarkLight]

If 90% of Catholics are not married, but think that they were, doesn’t that raise red flags about the integrity of the marriage process in the Catholic Church?

To be fair, that’s 90% of those who apply for annulment. Presumably annulments are only applied for when there’s some issue with the marriage.

 

[Pup7]

What I really regret, way back in marriage prep, the Catholic priest on my ex husband’s ship advised us not to get married

Wow. I’m with you - I wonder if he knew.

I’m so sorry you went through all that. But I’m glad you have your daughter.

 

[AlNg]

To be fair, that’s 90% of those who apply for annulment.

It is actually more than 90%, according to what I read.

 

[DarkLight]

Either way, my point is it’s only of those who apply. Hopefully many of those with valid marriages never seek an annulment, or are discouraged by their priest.

 

[Golightlyholly]

Disagree. There are cases were anullments should he granted because there are grave reasons the marriage was not valid. It is up to the tribunal to decide. And no, it is not easy to have an anulment.

 

[AlNg]

Either way, my point is it’s only of those who apply.

But once the marriage is tested, about 95% are found to be invalid. And you have to get a divorce before the tribunal takes your case. Is that what Jesus wanted for US Catholics - 60,000 divorces and marriage annulments per year in the US ? Wasn’t it better when there were only 10 marriage annulments per year as in the year 1929, when there were strict rules about granting an annulment? What other church in the world has seen such an enormous surge in marriage breakups during the same period?

 

[Phemie]

DarkLight:

Either way, my point is it’s only of those who apply.

But once the marriage is tested, about 95% are found to be invalid. And you have to get a divorce before the tribunal takes your case. Is that what Jesus wanted for US Catholics - 60,000 divorces and marriage annulments per year in the US ? Wasn’t it better when there were only 10 marriage annulments per year as in the year 1929, when there were strict rules about granting an annulment? What other church in the world has seen such an enormous surge in marriage breakups during the same period?

Back in 1929 it was social suicide to get a divorce and divorces were nasty so few people opted to go through that. And for Catholics it was worse than that so it’s not surprising that there were so few annulment back then. Women particularly stayed in abusive marriages they would run from today.

My next door neighbours growing up are a prime example. They married because she was pregnant. He beat her and he beat the eldest daughter who at one point confided in me that during one beating she had screamed at him, “Why don’t you just kill me since you never wanted me born?”

Fairly early in the marriage our Pastor advised her to get out, but she stayed with her abuser for over 60 years. He cheated on her every chance he got and at least one son continues the abuse & cheating tradition with his wife. They had 8 children; of those, 7 married and only 1 has had a successful marriage. The damage will likely extend into the grandchildren.

How many more went through that? Sadly, a few years ago I had a young priest tell me that no matter how serious the abuse the spouses should stay together. All I could do was shake my head.

 

[AlNg]

Back in 1929 it was social suicide to get a divorce and divorces were nasty so few people opted to go through that…Women particularly stayed in abusive marriages they would run from today.

People in abusive marriages were allowed to separate, but not remarry. Today, they are allowed to remarry. Is that an essential change in Catholic teaching?

 

[acanonlawyer]

60,000 divorces and marriage annulments per year in the US ? … What other church in the world has seen such an enormous surge in marriage breakups during the same period?

These days, the number of “annulments” in the USA is less than 30,000. Does that mean things have gotten better in terms of marriage?

As for what other church saw a huge increase in marriage breakups from the 1920s to the 1980s (let’s pick that decade since that’s probably the peak in terms of “annulments” in the USA), my guess is that they all (practically, if not literally) did.

Dan

 

[rcwitness]

I too believe many Catholics are using “annulments” as a loophole to remarry.

The funny thing is, is that when you try to ask clergy and Catholic counselors if they believe the marriage is valid or null, they become stupified and dumb.

But when you want out, they open the door.

Where are the wise pastors? Where are they who care and want to represent Jesus instead of playing Him?

 

[rcwitness]

AlNg:

60,000 divorces and marriage annulments per year in the US ? … What other church in the world has seen such an enormous surge in marriage breakups during the same period?

These days, the number of “annulments” in the USA is less than 30,000. Does that mean things have gotten better in terms of marriage?

As for what other church saw a huge increase in marriage breakups from the 1920s to the 1980s (let’s pick that decade since that’s probably the peak in terms of “annulments” in the USA), my guess is that they all (practically, if not literally) did.

Dan

I also think there is a general attack on Marriage from the enemy. But lets be honest. The Catholic Church is not overcoming the enemy. We are falling into the pit.

Even if all these hords of annulments were ligit, it is still a very ugly state of affairs that so many null marriages are being contracted. The end result is the same. Broken families and second lives.

 

[rcwitness]

It is the modern mentality that you have to live with someone for a good amount of time, and begin sexual relations to know if you are sexually compatible.

Divorces and annulments just strengthen that mindset.

Get to know the person better. Date for 4 years. Use contraception. Wait until you are financially secure to have unprotected sex.

 

[rcwitness]

There are couples in my parish who are not Married in the Church (not convalidated either, of course) yet have been counselled by the priest, and are receiving Communion!

Ive seen this more than once.

Its as though they are afraid to convalidate, cause, God forbid, that would mean NO GETTING OUT!!!

 

[acanonlawyer]

I also think there is a general attack on Marriage from the enemy. But lets be honest. The Catholic Church is not overcoming the enemy. We are falling into the pit.

Even if all these hords of annulments were ligit, it is still a very ugly state of affairs that so many null marriages are being contracted. The end result is the same. Broken families and second lives.

Its as though they are afraid to convalidate, cause, God forbid, that would mean NO GETTING OUT!!!

Yes. The main problem today with marriage (in my opinion) is that fewer Catholics are getting married in the Church: The decline in the number of Catholic marriages over the past 30 years is staggering.

Dan

 

[rcwitness]

And our pastors are giving tacit support of this!

My pastor wont even ask my wife to meet and speak with him (and me) in order to address some serious issues.

Im not asking for him to be psychologist, but Spiritual director and confirm the faith regarding our marriage!!!

Several priests rejected my invitation to “please have mercy on my wife and just ask her to meet together!”

 

[Xanthippe_Voorhees]

And our pastors are giving tacit support of this!

My pastor wont even ask my wife to meet and speak with him (and me) in order to address some serious issues.

Im not asking for him to be psychologist, but Spiritual director and confirm the faith regarding our marriage!!!

Several priests rejected my invitation to “please have mercy on my wife and just ask her to meet together!”

No priest is going to put someone into a situation they don’t want to be in. Nor are they going to feel comfortable this day in age in appearing to “gang up” on a woman with her husband–even if they are both in the right.

The onus is on the priest to ensure these sort of conversations are had before the sacrament of marriage is administered.

 

[rcwitness]

Who said a priest has to put someone into a situation they dont want to be in???

Why on earth would talking to the pastor be a situation you dont want to be in???