Is french kissing ok?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Harmony1988
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
Yea, personally i’m guilty of doing it a lot in the past but I’ve never gone further than that in most cases.

I think it’s venially a sin unless it leads to more serious sins. However I wouldn’t recommend going down that road until your relationship is pretty secure and stable like (6months or more o dating) since it’s neccessary to establish that emotional connection before a physical connection.

Also its better to wait as close to marriage as you can before engaging in that behavior. But really bottom line, it’s sinful if out of physical lust rather than emotion but it should be avoided or very cautionly practiced since it can easily lead to fornication.
 
The only stance of the church on this issue, is that of aquinas, above quoted, who says it is a mortal sin to kiss, or touch for the purpose of pleasure, as a sign, or other such, like the kiss of peace, it may be acceptable to kiss, or as friendship, but the simple fact remains, either you or your fellow, if he asks that you french kiss him, will be doing it for pleasure, cut him off if he persists, and tell him now you will.👍

//??Of course I am sure Aquinas meant this for outside of marriage??//
//??John Paul spoke about acceptable foreplay in humane vitae. I think we can french kiss IN MARRIAGE??//
//??but not outside of wedlock??//
 
I really don’t think the church or anyone for that matter has the right to tell us specifically what we can or can’t do in a relationship outside of fornication and other grave sexual acts.

I mean in the realm of cuddling/kissing. What right is there to restrict those too? Why don’t we restrict everything to be safe? Then there is no intimacy or even chance to get emotionally close to your significant other who you may very well marry. But how will you get to that point if all you can do is sit near each other 3 ft minimum at all times and just talk and laugh?

Lets say she tries to cuddle with me or grab my hand?

" Ohhh hun no I can’t, I’m not allowed it’s forbidden"

" Lets say she tries to kiss me a deep kiss on our 2 month anniversary, ohh babe I can’t it’s forbidden, I can’t. I can give you a peck though"

Seriously! ? That is a great way to end a relationship, or not let it grow very far.

Why? Because your starving your partner and yourself of real intimacy required to grow a bond and a relationship. That is necessary to even reach the stage of marriage vows.

You NEED to have intimacy that is non-sexual and that grows the emotional bond and connection, and grows out of love, there are so many examples.

Granted that’s probably good to do on the first 2 or 3 dates but all the way up until the wedding day?? !! Be realistic people. For those of you married posting here, did you really do that with your spouse the whole time you dated?

Granted yea cuddling and heavy kissing CAN easily lead to grave sins if you are not morally grounded or have little self control in yourself. But then you shouldn’t be doing that if that is the case. I personally have kissed and cuddle many times without going further and without any trouble resisting the temptation to.

For those of you like me who have no problem doing these things and avoiding sin, there is no reason to refrain from it since there is no sin in it AS LONG as it is out of emotional feeling rather than sexual lust.
 
Harmony1988 said:
This isn’t for me, but for a friend, he asked. My gut feeling is no.
Just last night he was telling me I was ridiculous for not wanting to do ‘stuff’ with a girl and etc. I showed him a short video of chastity speaker and all around great guy Jason Evert on youtube…and the reaction was not expected…

All of a sudden he wants to embrace catholic values, in his own words, he was raised a catholic, but never followed it. Now he’s having a hard time explaining to his girlfriend why exactly he has a change of heart and why he wants to stop doing ‘stuff’, so she is putting up natural defences and one question he asked me is french kissing ok??
Click to expand...
Nothing wrong with French kissing, it is only a style and in itself there is no problem with it. 🤷
 
French kissing seems harmless, provided you know your limits…I’m 17 and surrounded by temptation, I’m the only catholic out of my friends, and they have had heaps of boyfriends and have all lost their virginity, they openly tease me and mock me because I have refrained from going too far, I have frenched, I didnt think it was a big deal, it was rather boring Lol, but I know my limits and resist the pointless temptations because I choose to, I would rather wait to be married first before all that, besides it all seems a little overrated…meh thats just my perspective
 
Post before the previous post is referred to!

Once again we clash- still have those same views on homosexuality?

The style of kissing is defined as foreplay- and incites lust, I prefer truth over opinion, we are not protestants, that we can choose to disagree. There is truth, and there is mortal sin- in causing others to perform mortal sins, please rather aim at clairfying the truth from the truth, than justifying your extra-ecclesiam, orgininating views.

We want evolution of doctrine, not cut off a limb and place another persons one into it.

We want- “hold to what you originally heard”

not “hold to liberal, may I add american, views till death!”

Please, find another thread on another website. This is after all moral theology, not immoral opinion. Thanks, goodbye!👍
 
Once again we clash- still have those same views on homosexuality?

The style of kissing is defined as foreplay- and incites lust, I prefer truth over opinion, we are not protestants, that we can choose to disagree. There is truth, and there is mortal sin- in causing others to perform mortal sins, please rather aim at clairfying the truth from the truth, than justifying your extra-ecclesiam, orgininating views.

We want evolution of doctrine, not cut off a limb and place another persons one into it.

We want- “hold to what you originally heard”

not “hold to liberal, may I add american, views till death!”

Please, find another thread on another website. This is after all moral theology, not immoral opinion. Thanks, goodbye!👍
 
You know, i’m tryna be a little helpful so that the poster can use the different answers and decide what helps him best, I’m sorry but you came across as rude, I only said that “french kissing seems harmless” not that it is, I didnt mean any harm or purposely intent that everyone should do it out of wedlock and see that its harmless, because thats certainly not the case, its just that everyone should know their limits…as I know mine…Goodbye and God bless:thumbsup:
 
Sorry, I wasn’t speaking of your oppinion, which was enjoyable, we posted at the same itime in response, I was speaking of a poster who I now consider notorious for promoting UM, wide views on morals, which are contrary to the faith he claims to folloow, and who never corrects his statements- this is what we call the spectrum virus- the belief that every view is equal to truth, and yes- it was not kindly, but as to him, I believe kindness to the oppressor, is cruelty to the oppressed- that being us innocent listeners to his Protestant way of approaching Catholicism (not that protestants agree with him).😉
 
😊 aww sorry, I guess I just assumed because of the first statement, i misread it and thought you were referring to mine, my apologies for jumping down your throat:o peace:D
 
No problem, which statement made you think I was speaking of you, daughter of Christ?
 
I think an understanding of the term “lust” is appropriate here. I haven’t hit it up on dictionary.com recently, but I think it is viewing someone entirely as an object to pleasure: entirely, object.

If one has no love or connection with another, and initiates an act, even a peck on the cheek, if meant to lead at that moment or at a point in the future to orgasm, solely for the orgasm, then that’s lust. (Such is the absolute wrongness of masturbation)

However, if two people truely love each other, and are not yet engaged or married, and they kiss, whether it be a peck or a french kiss, it cannot be an act of lust. It’s an act of love. However, the two should be careful because too much may get their fires going and that would be uncomfortable for both of them.

I suppose I assume too much at one point too. My gf and I (will be engaged next Summer and married in a few years) are about to become Catholic, practice and learn Catholicism as much as possible until then, and of course desire to remain chaste. Our individual weaknesses are supplanted by the strength of Faith that we support in each other. So what I’m saying is, we can kiss, french if we want, and not go too far. That’s where I’m assuming that other Catholics would have as much self-control.

If you are led easily astray, then I wouldn’t recommend it.

Whoops, I went on a tangent. I meant to get some feedback on the full meaning of “lust” :o
 
Ok - firstly it is a sin which leads to sin-
(( probably -Church approved))
saints.sqpn.com/ncd01653.htm

secondly, it includes any kissing for the sake of pleasure
(Church approved)
newadvent.org/summa/3154.htm#article4

“I answer that, As Isidore says (Etym. x), “a lustful man is one who is debauched with pleasures.” Now venereal pleasures above all debauch a man’s mind. Therefore lust is especially concerned with such like pleasures.” Venereal means sexual
(Church approved)
newadvent.org/summa/3153.htm#article1

ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tb30.htm
Holy Father John Paul
(Church approved)
"Offenses against chastity

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes." Catechism (Church approved)
vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm
 
As I said, I misread the post you wrote and because you posted twice so I assumed you were referring to mine…it was “Post before the previous post is referred to!” my apologies:blush: :o
 
Marc_Aupiais said:
Post before the previous post is referred to!

The style of kissing is defined as foreplay- and incites lust
Click to expand...
I assume it is my post you are reffering to. I cut out the un-charitable parts of your post.

It all depends on the initial situation and the individual couple. It can lead to more, and it cannot lead to more. 🤷 The technique in itself is just that a technique which is neither good nor bad. You have to give most couples the benefit of the doubt and trust them to make the right decisions when using this technique. That is how it is most often done, most people can control their hormones.
 
Marc_Aupiais said:
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes." Catechism (Church approved)
vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm
Click to expand...
This is a question I’ve had as well. I think a lot of people are being misguided about what it means to lust and what it means to have sexual desire.
 
2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes." Catechism (Church approved)
vatican.va/archive/catechism/p3s2c2a6.htm

Any persuit of pleasure between intimates outside of marriage (procreative and unitive) is disordered, seeking unity, like hugs, normal kisses, etc is NOT pursuit of pleasure, or it would be lust.

Lust is always persuit of sexual pleasure missing one or both aspects, in any circumstance!

p.s. Applejuice, I’m glad to make aquaintance, marc.👍
 
I probably should get off this forum considering I have nothing more to add to my opinion… Like wise Marc 😉 peace to all 🙂 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top