Is frugality advice realistic?

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One thing I have noticed…and I can’t remember if this has come up yet…is that a lot of frugal advice also gets repackaged as “green living” in other places. Things like composting and having a garden, using reusable materials, make your own cleaning products, etc.

Of course, I often laugh at those blogs because of the crazy consumerism. I have to think that NOT buying something is probably going to be a lot better than paying more for something that claims to be “green.”

Or there was the time I was in the checkout lane in the grocery store and there was a blurb on the front of one of the “environmental living” magazines that toted “green sex.” Personally I thought Catholics had it as green as it got, but nope - apparently you need special uber expensive compostable condoms. :whistle:
You know how you skim through things and your minds reads something else entirely???
You wrote “compostable condoms”. My addled brain read “combustible condoms”
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Wow. Those are really HOT relations! :eek:
 
You know how you skim through things and your minds reads something else entirely???
You wrote “compostable condoms”. My addled brain read “combustible condoms”
:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Wow. Those are really HOT relations! :eek:
:rotfl:

This was just posted on my favorite saving money blog:

You Might Be Frugal If…

I don’t reuse dental floss (that would require maybe using it first…I do, sometimes, but probably not as much as I should, thankfully I’m blessed with good teeth) and we don’t do Chuck E. Cheese, but I definitely plan Costco trips around sample times (weekday lunches seem to be the best for sample availability/also not being crowded).

I have wowed employees at stores with the couponing deals, especially at CVS (don’t ever pay for anything at retail price there because kittens will cry, but with sales you can get stuff for…wait for it…better than free. I have impressed cashiers with that. :D)

ETA: I also don’t want to pay full price at thrift stores - I will wait for tag sales or 99 cent days. Same with discount grocery stores like Aldi. Sure, the strawberries are still a better deal at 1.89 there vs. $3 at the regular grocery store, but last week they were 99 cents so I’m not going to pay 1.89 this week. :dts:
 
I’ve thought this same thing as a member of the working poor. I’m on my feet 8h a day and come home to schoolwork - there is only so much time I have to spend on being frugal! It’s enough work sometimes to keep myself in homemade cheap food.

Transportation is another issue. So much of the frugality advice seems to imagine that you’re driving here there and everywhere, unless you live in a place with either lots of stuff within walking distance or have all day to spend on public transit (and haul things home on the bus).
 
:rotfl:

This was just posted on my favorite saving money blog:

You Might Be Frugal If…

I don’t reuse dental floss (that would require maybe using it first…I do, sometimes, but probably not as much as I should, thankfully I’m blessed with good teeth) and we don’t do Chuck E. Cheese, but I definitely plan Costco trips around sample times (weekday lunches seem to be the best for sample availability/also not being crowded).

I have wowed employees at stores with the couponing deals, especially at CVS (don’t ever pay for anything at retail price there because kittens will cry, but with sales you can get stuff for…wait for it…better than free. I have impressed cashiers with that. :D)

ETA: I also don’t want to pay full price at thrift stores - I will wait for tag sales or 99 cent days. Same with discount grocery stores like Aldi. Sure, the strawberries are still a better deal at 1.89 there vs. $3 at the regular grocery store, but last week they were 99 cents so I’m not going to pay 1.89 this week. :dts:
CVS has really good deals especially combining sales, coupons and Extra Bucks.

Yes, I have gotten stuff for free there.
 
Wow, you are so matter of fact about these costs…you must be rich. These kind of fees drive me into foaming at the mouth fits of anger and furious rants about how the entire word is set up as a huge scam so everyone can take my money!
I think that’s actually what it sounds like when a nice lady is foaming at the mouth.

I wrote a stem-winder myself to school a few years back when I first realized that it was death by a thousand cuts.

To give only the example of teacher gifts:

–teacher’s birthday
–teacher’s Christmas gift
–teacher appreciation week (there’s a whole week with different types of gifts suggested for different days)
–end of year present

Choose one (or two), people!
 
But if you spent that hour preparing something special with your sisters and daughters and granddaughters, you’ve come out way far ahead. In fact, you’ve created more than blackberry jam, you’ve created a priceless memory. It seems foolish to even attempt to compare the values of people and money.
What if you did it alone and the baby was watching TV alone the whole time?
 
Indeed.

Likewise, atjar, you might remember that most of the people to whom you are speaking are from a different generation than yours.

In yours, you could reasonably expect to, say, work a job (or two, or even three) over the summer, and have sufficient funds as a result to pay for the following year’s tuition, board, and books at college. My father, who is almost 70, did precisely that, and it was laudable.

**Right. My dad is just a little younger. Back in the late 60s, he’d earn around $1,000 over the summer and school tuition at his Protestant private college cost around $1,500 for the year.
**

ETA: DH’s parents were able to help him with school, though he got mostly scholarships. Mine did not help me. As a result, though I worked 2-3 jobs the entire time I was in college, I still have about 20K in loans to pay off. That’s a burden on any family’s finances. If we had that money, we could invest it for the future, but we can’t. Bear in mind that that balance is lower than that of most of my generation, and that it represents about $400 each month in payments. I took them out, I’m responsible for them, but there’s no argument that they make things more difficult than they could be.

**$28k is actually the average for new college graduates with student loans and a bachelor’s degree. (About 7 in 10 new college graduates graduate with debt.)

ticas.org/posd/map-state-data**

The young SAHM with a $400 student loan payment is pretty much par for the course these days. I’m of the previous generation of SAHMs (a 1995 BA), and I had a total of $6k in student loans. It took about 12 or 13 years (!) to pay off at around $65 a month–they’re very persistent critters if not dealt with very firmly.

Thanks to my own experience and even more so the experience of younger women that I bump into, one of my biggest goals is to ensure that our children will graduate from college debt free.

Well, for one thing, we’re paying almost twice what you paid for much of your working life in FICA/social security taxes, in no small part because your generation tended to only have one or two children.

**Let’s be fair–the US total fertility rate has been hovering around 2 children per woman since the early 1970s. **

Though we pay a far higher rate, and you’ll collect far, far more than you ever put it because of our contributions and because of your younger retirement age, our generation can’t reasonably rely on Social Security for retirement. The system is so far beyond broke that to expect that we’ll have it available in 25 years is foolish at best.

There is that.

We are working and saving this hard partly to fund your retirement, partly in the hopes that we can retire someday, and partly with it ever in our minds that our children must go to college as well, and that they will require our assistance to do so.
Right.
 
:rotfl:

This was just posted on my favorite saving money blog:

You Might Be Frugal If…

I don’t reuse dental floss (that would require maybe using it first…I do, sometimes, but probably not as much as I should, thankfully I’m blessed with good teeth) and we don’t do Chuck E. Cheese, but I definitely plan Costco trips around sample times (weekday lunches seem to be the best for sample availability/also not being crowded).

**Our local mega-ultra-grocery store frequently gives away sushi samples.

Not my thing, but my big kids love it!**
 
Yes. And in our particular case, Baby Girl’s ideas of how best to enjoy an expensive board game set are not compatible with Daddy and the big kids’ idea of how best to enjoy the board game.
😃 Oh I have some great (well, looking back they’re great) memories of those times. Then it was totally frustrating though!!
 
Wow, you are so matter of fact about these costs…you must be rich. These kind of fees drive me into foaming at the mouth fits of anger and furious rants about how the entire word is set up as a huge scam so everyone can take my money!
LOL! Definitely NOT rich!!! Actually we’re just above the cut-off for subsidized lunches (and free book rental). It use to frustrate and irritate me to no end, but I’ve also had to deal with it for so many years, I’ve learned it’s not worth it to waste my energy and anger on this battle. Though I envy people who live in places without the book fees and pay-to-play fees.

I’ve learned I only have so much energy and time (as so many other posters have said).

Much of these fees are basically because the great majority of people only have one or two children. So it becomes a case where when the school / state / teacher look at the cost, they look at it for one child and say - well, that’s not such a big deal, surely a parent should help out by paying “that” much.

And I agree (to an extent). If we’d known then, what we know now, we’d never have been able to justify having more than 3 kids. But thankfully for us, we were blissfully ignorant - so we’re broke but have had the joy all six kidlings have brought us!

And it’s our choice - as mentioned we could cut that number down, but to us, it wouldn’t be the right thing to do. So…we pay the cost, sometimes borrowing from a relative to get through the craziness of back-to-school. We drive very old paid off cars. We live in a tiny house with one bathroom. We don’t have wi-fi, or a digital tv. Some rooms have twenty year old paint on the walls or decades old flooring. It doesn’t look pretty. When something breaks, it tends to take a very long time for it to be fixed or replaced. I spend less than fifteen dollars A YEAR on makeup, and less than a hundred on clothes for me. Furniture, curtains, etc are all many, many years old - usually purchased used and then kept till they literally fall apart.

Thankfully, DH and I are on the exact same page - kids first. Our bedroom, for example has been without flooring, except for some left-over carpet scraps from our parents, since our home was flooded twelve years ago. Under those scraps is simply the concrete slab the house is built on. Estimated cost for flooring would be around $400. Not an outrageous sum. 🤷 But when we talk about it, it inevitably comes down to choosing it or choosing something enriching for the kid(s) 🤷 We’d rather invest it in their growth and memories and continue to do without. I’m not sure if that’s a frugal choice or an insane one 😃 But it’s what we do. (I will have a huge happy dance though whenever we finally get that floor in and I have a “finished” bedroom! Thinking we may have a shot six or seven years.)
 
I think that’s actually what it sounds like when a nice lady is foaming at the mouth.

I wrote a stem-winder myself to school a few years back when I first realized that it was death by a thousand cuts.

To give only the example of teacher gifts:

–teacher’s birthday
–teacher’s Christmas gift
–teacher appreciation week (there’s a whole week with different types of gifts suggested for different days)
–end of year present

Choose one (or two), people!
What gets me is that my teacher friends generally don’t particularly want/need these gifts - well except for the meals during teacher appreciation week 😃 - but my child would feel the world would indeed end if such a time came and they didn’t have a present for the teacher! Thus I was finally inspired - now (depending on season) they either get to take teacher a bouquet of wild flowers cut from the backyard (and carried in a “vase” picked up at a yardsale - which can actually be anything that holds water) or a homemade bouquet of tissue paper flowers made from the tissue paper I save from gifts we receive 😃

Actually, I’ve had some great success with the yard-sale “vases”. On a couple occasions I’ve found old glass bottles for a quarter that turned out to be very “vintage” and the person was thrilled with their gift. Another big success was a set of Holly Hobby drinking glasses with sayings about friendship on them.

Anyway - figure the teacher will either love it or pitch it when the child isn’t around - but either way the child’s proud and happy - and I’m out fifty cents at most. 👍
 
What gets me is that my teacher friends generally don’t particularly want/need these gifts - well except for the meals during teacher appreciation week 😃 - but my child would feel the world would indeed end if such a time came and they didn’t have a present for the teacher! Thus I was finally inspired - now (depending on season) they either get to take teacher a bouquet of wild flowers cut from the backyard (and carried in a “vase” picked up at a yardsale - which can actually be anything that holds water) or a homemade bouquet of tissue paper flowers made from the tissue paper I save from gifts we receive 😃

Actually, I’ve had some great success with the yard-sale “vases”. On a couple occasions I’ve found old glass bottles for a quarter that turned out to be very “vintage” and the person was thrilled with their gift. Another big success was a set of Holly Hobby drinking glasses with sayings about friendship on them.

Anyway - figure the teacher will either love it or pitch it when the child isn’t around - but either way the child’s proud and happy - and I’m out fifty cents at most. 👍
That’s my kind of gift-giving. 👍

From what I can tell, people really do appreciate something homemade even if inexpensive. I frequently do food gifts and people love it because they can enjoy it and then not be left with any clutter in their house.

I’m also glad that teacher gift giving doesn’t seem to be “a thing” here. I got a couple nice notes and a candle once_ but that was it. My MIL retired from teaching a few years ago and only a couple students got her something, usually at Christmas. She hates “stuff” so if she’d been getting it from 30+ it would have driven her crazy!!
 
I’m not a housewife, but I do live below the poverty line, and own a deep freeze. You can buy them for pretty cheap off Kijiji and the like. I bake my own bread, make my own soup stock, and do a lot of my own meat processing to save money. Having a deep freeze means you can buy reduced meat and freeze it. I’m a fan of making my own boneless skinless chicken thighs and substituting them for chicken breast.
 
Much of these fees are basically because the great majority of people only have one or two children. So it becomes a case where when the school / state / teacher look at the cost, they look at it for one child and say - well, that’s not such a big deal, surely a parent should help out by paying “that” much.

**Right. **

Thankfully, DH and I are on the exact same page - kids first.
Right!
 
What if you did it alone and the baby was watching TV alone the whole time?
I can’t even go to the bathroom alone with my baby. I get constant crying and fat little fingers sticking under the door. Sometimes she attempts to compromise. She’s been known to shove a board book under the door so I can read it to her while I try to do my business. If you can manage to can things while the baby watches TV, then that’s priceless in and of itself!
 
I can’t even go to the bathroom alone with my baby. I get constant crying and fat little fingers sticking under the door. Sometimes she attempts to compromise. She’s been known to shove a board book under the door so I can read it to her while I try to do my business. If you can manage to can things while the baby watches TV, then that’s priceless in and of itself!
And likewise, I find your old world picture of a kitchen full of bustling grandmas and aunties and sisters toiling over the jam way, way, way out of my experience.

Our nuclear family has always lived 2,000-3,000 miles away from family because of the demands of the academic job market, which requires a lot of geographic flexibility to get a job. If I were to reproduce the jam-making scenario in our life, I’d first have to tear my sister, mom, MIL and/or aunties away from their jobs and fly them across the country. (And at least two of those women make a very high hourly wage that has to be accounted for–the psychologist and the pharmacist…)

We might be literally looking at a $1,000 jar of jam.

Hence, the hypothetical need to glue my toddler to the TV in order to do a big jam project by myself–I don’t have any access to “free” help.

(Also, locally we don’t have access to the sort of ridiculously inexpensive berries that make jam-making attractive. When I was a kid, my mom did once (ONCE!) can blackberry jam and it was fabulous, but in my home town, blackberries are essentially free–they’re literally a weed where I’m from in Western WA.)

I think frugality is very resource dependent. And strong local support and family connections are actually resources that not everybody has, just like not everybody has a lot of money, and not everybody has boundless energy.

By the way, there’s a very funny book called The $64 Tomato about a guy’s work on his large organic garden. By the end of his experiences, he starts doing the math and realizes that his garden is costing him enormously.

Here’s an excerpt where he does the math:

npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5360768
 
And likewise, I find your old world picture of a kitchen full of bustling grandmas and aunties and sisters toiling over the jam way, way, way out of my experience.

Our nuclear family has always lived 2,000-3,000 miles away from family because of the demands of the academic job market, which requires a lot of geographic flexibility to get a job. If I were to reproduce the jam-making scenario in our life, I’d first have to tear my sister, mom, MIL and/or aunties away from their jobs and fly them across the country. (And at least two of those women make a very high hourly wage that has to be accounted for–the psychologist and the pharmacist…)

We might be literally looking at a $1,000 jar of jam.

Hence, the hypothetical need to glue my toddler to the TV in order to do a big jam project by myself–I don’t have any access to “free” help.

(Also, locally we don’t have access to the sort of ridiculously inexpensive berries that make jam-making attractive. When I was a kid, my mom did once (ONCE!) can blackberry jam and it was fabulous, but in my home town, blackberries are essentially free–they’re literally a weed where I’m from in Western WA.)

I think frugality is very resource dependent. And strong local support and family connections are actually resources that not everybody has, just like not everybody has a lot of money, and not everybody has boundless energy.

By the way, there’s a very funny book called The $64 Tomato about a guy’s work on his large organic garden. By the end of his experiences, he starts doing the math and realizes that his garden is costing him enormously.

Here’s an excerpt where he does the math:

npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5360768
The kitchen full of people spanning all generations of a huge extended family all cooking food based on old family recipes is very much a part of my experience. I don’t get to see it now, living away from family in the east, but all I have to do is fly west and see it again.

I now see how blessed I was.
 
And likewise, I find your old world picture of a kitchen full of bustling grandmas and aunties and sisters toiling over the jam way, way, way out of my experience.

Our nuclear family has always lived 2,000-3,000 miles away from family because of the demands of the academic job market, which requires a lot of geographic flexibility to get a job. If I were to reproduce the jam-making scenario in our life, I’d first have to tear my sister, mom, MIL and/or aunties away from their jobs and fly them across the country. (And at least two of those women make a very high hourly wage that has to be accounted for–the psychologist and the pharmacist…)

We might be literally looking at a $1,000 jar of jam.

Hence, the hypothetical need to glue my toddler to the TV in order to do a big jam project by myself–I don’t have any access to “free” help.

(Also, locally we don’t have access to the sort of ridiculously inexpensive berries that make jam-making attractive. When I was a kid, my mom did once (ONCE!) can blackberry jam and it was fabulous, but in my home town, blackberries are essentially free–they’re literally a weed where I’m from in Western WA.)

I think frugality is very resource dependent. And strong local support and family connections are actually resources that not everybody has, just like not everybody has a lot of money, and not everybody has boundless energy.

By the way, there’s a very funny book called The $64 Tomato about a guy’s work on his large organic garden. By the end of his experiences, he starts doing the math and realizes that his garden is costing him enormously.

Here’s an excerpt where he does the math:

npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5360768
I agree that canning isn’t always frugal. Truly, when we did canning, it was more out of tradition and bonding. We often made baskets to give away as gifts at Christmas time, which was sort of frugal. However, since I learned how to do it, if I ever needed to do it for financial reasons, I would be ready.
 
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