Is husband condemning himself?

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The husband went to confession the other day. He confessed the sin. Mind you, he confessed these sins in the past. But he confessed them in this context. The Priest said he was unfaithful, and guilty of a mortal sin. 😦 He also said that the husband should not worry about his wife’s sins but his own. Now how does that work out if the wife is falling in love with her friend?
 
7xTu said:
The husband went to confession the other day. He confessed the sin. Mind you, he confessed these sins in the past. But he confessed them in this context. The Priest said he was unfaithful, and guilty of a mortal sin. 😦 He also said that the husband should not worry about his wife’s sins but his own. Now how does that work out if the wife is falling in love with her friend?
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So, is the hypothetical couple in marriage counseling?
 
The husband just can’t help feeling jelousy. He has to come to terms with it all with his wife at MC. But how can he? He can’t admit his faults in years past.
 
7xTu said:
The husband just can’t help feeling jelousy. He has to come to terms with it all with his wife at MC. But how can he? He can’t admit his faults in years past.
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Only when he does will he find peace.
that’s when the healing begins.
 
Hypothetically speaking.
The DH is in such turmoil. He knows for a fact his DW had an EA with her boss while all the time denying him sexxuall intimacy without him begging. So he became guilty of sin at massage prlrs more than once. How does he find out exactly what happened with his wife in the EA without being a total hypocrite? Should he ask her not to wrk any longer? She doesn’t want to. Perhaps they can just generalize the sin to each other.
 
7xTu said:
Hypothetically speaking.
The DH is in such turmoil. He knows for a fact his DW had an EA with her boss while all the time denying him sexxuall intimacy without him begging. So he became guilty of sin at massage prlrs more than once. How does he find out exactly what happened with his wife in the EA without being a total hypocrite? Should he ask her not to wrk any longer? She doesn’t want to. Perhaps they can just generalize the sin to each other.
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Listen:
The husband CHOSE to go the massage parlor. The reason, or his motivation, or who he wants to blame for this is immaterial. It’s HIS sin. While he is busy blaming the wife for why he got himself into trouble…he is still not dealing with his part in it.
What if she says "well, he was seeking other women, so what could I do? My boss sympathized with me…he was kind to me…he was nice to me…etc etc. How would hubby feel then?
Looking fro someone to blame is NOT taking responsibility.
It will never resolve until both parties accept their guilt to making the wrong choice.

The rationale here is flawed.
 
pianistclare what you wrote is 100% correct. The h can’t blame the w for his sin.
But what if it has been a few years since the h sinned in this way and has repented. What if the h has taken the w to MC to get help for their relationship only to find an inappropriate emotional love affair via emails, and texts. How should he deal with that?
 
7xTu said:
pianistclare what you wrote is 100% correct. The h can’t blame the w for his sin.
But what if it has been a few years since the h sinned in this way and has repented. What if the h has taken the w to MC to get help for their relationship only to find an inappropriate emotional love affair via emails, and texts. How should he deal with that?
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Is the hypothetical husband snooping?
 
7xTu said:
Yes he was because he could no longer ignore the haunting gut feeling he was getting. Mind you, he only learned this after he was trying to repair the mrrg
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Does the wife know the husband was snooping and what he knows?
 
Xantippe said:
Does the wife know the husband was snooping and what he knows?
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Hypothetically speaking, yes she knows he knows of certain digital conversations that were inappropriate. He even brought proof to MC. Oddly enough, she never protested or was angry. And he did confess to her, (however lightly), that he did stray… but he didn’t get into details.
 
7xTu said:
pianistclare what you wrote is 100% correct. The h can’t blame the w for his sin.
But what if it has been a few years since the h sinned in this way and has repented. What if the h has taken the w to MC to get help for their relationship only to find an inappropriate emotional love affair via emails, and texts. How should he deal with that?
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He should ask her to stop. And if she wants to save the marriage she will.
Has the marriage counselor been frank with her?
As in…you’re losing your husband. He wants to save the marriage. Do you?

If so, what did she say?
 
pianistclare said:
He should ask her to stop. And if she wants to save the marriage she will.
Has the marriage counselor been frank with her?
As in…you’re losing your husband. He wants to save the marriage. Do you?

If so, what did she say?
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Hypothetically speaking of course, she doesn’t want a divorce and never did. She never answered the question about stopping anything yet. She says they are friends. She also does not want to leave the jb since she loves it there. He won’t force her. But something has to be done. The flirting and emails and texts have to stop.
 
7xTu said:
Hypothetically speaking of course, she doesn’t want a divorce and never did. She never answered the question about stopping anything yet. She says they are friends. She also does not want to leave the jb since she loves it there. He won’t force her. But something has to be done. The flirting and emails and texts have to stop.
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Sounds like she doesn’t think what she does is as hurtful as what he did in the past.
It sounds harsh, but I might let her know that if it didn’t stop, immediately, and completely that I might want to have a word with the other party.
Either she’ll stop…or get hysterical.
I mean, I don’t think she needs to lose her job, but she needs to understand that this is inappropriate. Is the other party married? I wonder how she would feel if you got a special female friend at work?
I’m amazed at how people justify this, and try to make the other party seem like they are over-reacting. If he’s married, she is coveting someone else’s spouse.
It’s a commandment. Tell her to look it up.
Hypothetically, of course. :rolleyes:
 
This just occurred to me:
How did DH pay for the massage parlors?
Isn’t he hypothetically unemployed for some years? :hmmm:
I think if my DH used my hard earned money for massage parlors…I might not be quick to forgive…
:confused:
 
pianistclare said:
This just occurred to me:
How did DH pay for the massage parlors?
Isn’t he hypothetically unemployed for some years? :hmmm:
I think if my DH used my hard earned money for massage parlors…I might not be quick to forgive…
:confused:
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Hypothetically speaking, if my husband had spent family funds on massage parlors while the rest of the family went without basic necessities, I would not feel very forgiving.
 
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