Is it a liturgical abuse - or even a sin - to renew your marriage vows?

[ThuribleGuy45]

A recent response in the Apologist’s Forum has left me very unsettled. The gist of the response is that Catholics don’t renew their marriage vows - more specifically, that the vows are lifetime and this don’t *need *to be renewed.

While I understand the sacramental principle involved, we’re on the brink of our 25th anniversary. Our priest has offered us a vow renewal service - in fact, I know of several such services that have been held in our parish. I also know that our bishop also holds such services each year in the cathedral for couples celebrating significant anniversaries. But now I’m wondering: Is “renewing our vows” a liturgical abuse? Is it a mortal sin because it supposedly shows that we don’t believe in the “lifetime” nature of the sacrament? Is it blasphemy to attempt to do so? We’ve been so looking forward to the ceremony, and now the whole thing is under a dark cloud of doubt and the joy has gone out of it for us.

With traditional marriage under attack on all sides, I would think the Church would welcome the opportunity to recognize and reinforce long-term sacramentally married couples. I don’t understand why re-commiting ourselves to each other would be taboo.

 

[First_of_9]

Don’t get hung up on the word “renew”. Rather, emphasize that you are “reaffirming” the promises you made years ago to each other and to God. There is nothing wrong with celebrating and “recreating” a joyous and grace-filled event.

Enjoy your blessings!

 

[Sr_Sally]

THere is a special Mass held every year in our dioscese for couples celebrating significant milestone anniversaries. Since many, many couple attend, I know they don’t all stand in the front of the church and say their vows again. I think just being at the special Mass and having their marriages blest is the purpose. As the previous poster said–to reaffirm their vows.

I wouldn’t try to recreate a wedding scene, but simply reaffirm your commitment and ask for a blessing from the priest.

 

[SHAKA_MAKA1]

There are many masses where we renew our baptismal promises. Also there are marriage anniversary blessings in the sacramentary (red book the sever holds for the priest) so it must be o.k. to do in a liturgical setting.

 

[buffalo]

Why do vows need to be renewed?

 

[SHAKA_MAKA1]

Maybe the word should be remember

 

[Mattapoisett64]

Why do vows need to be renewed?

If I understand what the OP has written, he understands that they don’t *need *to be renewed - the point is that the couple wants to renew them to observe their 25th anniversary - a type of observance that I always thought was not unknown at 25th and 50th anniversaries.

 

[buffalo]

If I understand what the OP has written, he/she understands that they don’t *need *to be renewed - the point is that the couple wants to renew them to observe their 25th anniversary - a type of observance that I always thought was not unknown at 25th and 50th anniversaries.

Then why not accept the graces that come with a marital blessing?

 

[Phemie]

In the Marriage Rite book there is a section for a renewal of vows. We know that the original vows were for life. In the Canadian Rite the words are exactly the same as the original exchange of consent, in fact the Rite refers you back to the exchange of consent from the wedding ceremony, although the words spoken by the priest make it clear that you are already well and truly married. As I understand it, the US rite has different words for the exchange of consent that make it clear that you are reaffirming your vows to each other.

 

[japhy]

The eternal and everlasting new covenant in the Blood of Jesus Christ is renewed at every Mass.

Surely the vows of a wedding covenant (which ceases at death) can be renewed.

 

[Giana]

On our 25th Wedding Anniversary, my husband and I renewed our vows and it was beautiful! In fact, we try to renew our vows on every wedding anniversary. I think it’s wonderful that we’re able to do that.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

A recent response in the Apologist’s Forum has left me very unsettled. The gist of the response is that Catholics don’t renew their marriage vows - more specifically, that the vows are lifetime and this don’t *need *to be renewed.

While I understand the sacramental principle involved, we’re on the brink of our 25th anniversary. Our priest has offered us a vow renewal service - in fact, I know of several such services that have been held in our parish. I also know that our bishop also holds such services each year in the cathedral for couples celebrating significant anniversaries. But now I’m wondering: Is “renewing our vows” a liturgical abuse? Is it a mortal sin because it supposedly shows that we don’t believe in the “lifetime” nature of the sacrament? Is it blasphemy to attempt to do so? We’ve been so looking forward to the ceremony, and now the whole thing is under a dark cloud of doubt and the joy has gone out of it for us.

With traditional marriage under attack on all sides, I would think the Church would welcome the opportunity to recognize and reinforce long-term sacramentally married couples. I don’t understand why re-commiting ourselves to each other would be taboo.

It would be wrong to attempt to re-celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage, unless it is certain that the original exchange of vows was somehow defective. Nothing wrong with renewing the promises made, no different from renewing your Baptismal promises.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

PLease tell me how do you renew your Baptisimal promises? I thought you could only be baptized once? Can you explain that please? Thank You Nancy

 

[japhy]

PLease tell me how do you renew your Baptisimal promises? I thought you could only be baptized once? Can you explain that please?

This usually happens every Easter, when instead of reciting the Creed, the priest asks “Do you reject Satan? … Do you believe in God, the Father almighty …?” etc.

Renewing a vow is not the same as taking the vow again: thus, renewing your baptismal vows is not the same as “getting baptized again”, nor is renewing your marriage vows the same as “getting married again”.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

HI Japhy, I wondered do you get sprinkled with water? Or just say some words? Thank you for your site it is beautiful and I will get to it better tomorrow ot look at more as I am e-mailing it to myself. Love of Christ Nancy

 

[luminoushope]

I also know that our bishop also holds such services each year in the cathedral for couples celebrating significant anniversaries. But now I’m wondering: Is “renewing our vows” a liturgical abuse? Is it a mortal sin because it supposedly shows that we don’t believe in the “lifetime” nature of the sacrament? Is it blasphemy to attempt to do so? We’ve been so looking forward to the ceremony, and now the whole thing is under a dark cloud of doubt and the joy has gone out of it for us.
.

I am so very sorry that you are having pain and difficulty over this.

First let me say that I don’t know anything about this process in the Catholic Church. I am in the process of converting and pray to be received into the Church at the proper time. I was a Protestant for 27 years. I don’t even know what “liturgical abuse” is but how could it be mortal sin when your intent is only reverence for God, not committing any sin? Do you think your bishop or your priest would lead you into liturgical abuse/mortal sin/blasphemy? There seem to be a lot of different opinions over this matter. We all heard today from Sacred Scripture that God has not given us a spirit of fear!

Here’s my story: my husband and I “renewed” our wedding vows after 5 years in the Assembly of God church we attended at the time. We were kind of talked into it by our pastor, for exactly the reason you stated, that marriage is under attack in the culture, etc, etc. My husband didn’t really like it. To him it contained the implication that “it didn’t take the first time.” He said he would never do it again, and we haven’t. We had our 25th this past March, and just went away to the coast for a wonderful weekend and basked in love and thankfulness to God for our 25 years.

May God bless you and your marriage.

Grace and peace to you,

Luminous Hope (This name expresses how I feel about becoming Catholic)

 

[Phemie]

HI Japhy, I wondered do you get sprinkled with water? Or just say some words? Thank you for your site it is beautiful and I will get to it better tomorrow ot look at more as I am e-mailing it to myself. Love of Christ Nancy

We don’t get sprinkled with water at the time that we renew our baptismal vows but we do get sprinkled with water at some other point during the Easter Vigil and the Easter Day Mass and at other times during the year. The Sprinkling Rite is a reminder of our Baptism, as is our blessing ourselves with Holy Water when we enter a Catholic church.

 

[nancy_dalrymple]

We don’t get sprinkled with water at the time that we renew our baptismal vows but we do get sprinkled with water at some other point during the Easter Vigil and the Easter Day Mass and at other times during the year. The Sprinkling Rite is a reminder of our Baptism, as is our blessing ourselves with Holy Water when we enter a Catholic church.

HI Phemie, now I understand why we bless ourselfs, is it to renew our Baptism? Every time we enter and leave the church?I was a Catholic when I was born and when I was a kid but I went another way after and I forgot alot because I studied differnt. I do confess to this, I remember when I was small child I was thirsty and i did drink the Holy water from the finger dip. Did you ever hear of anyone doing this? It is funny when I think of it I was 6 or 7. Was that a sin? i’m thinking now it would be detramental to your life if you did it these day’s. Love of Christ Nancy

 

[Phemie]

HI Phemie, now I understand why we bless ourselfs, is it to renew our Baptism? Every time we enter and leave the church?I was a Catholic when I was born and when I was a kid but I went another way after and I forgot alot because I studied differnt. I do confess to this, I remember when I was small child I was thirsty and i did drink the Holy water from the finger dip. Did you ever hear of anyone doing this? It is funny when I think of it I was 6 or 7. Was that a sin? i’m thinking now it would be detramental to your life if you did it these day’s. Love of Christ Nancy

Ewww, drinking from the Holy Water stoop! Blech!
Drinking holy water is not a sin, but drinking from the stoop might give your immune system a workout, no telling whose fingers were in there.

Blessing ourselves with water is not a renewal of our Baptism so much as it is a reminder of our Baptism, just like making the Sign of the Cross is a reminder that Christ died for our sins.

 

[wanner47]

My husband and I would like to have a reaffirmation of our marriage vows (maybe for our 10th anniversary, 09/01/11), simply because we weren’t married in the Catholic Church since we were both Protestant at the time. While we know that the Church does recognize our marriage as valid and sacramental, it would be nice to reaffirm our vows within a Catholic context.

And since we do renew our baptismal promises, I don’t see the problem with renewing marriage vows, as long as the intent is to emphasize that marriage is a lifelong covenant that cannot be broken except by death.