Is it a sin to arouse oneself?

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Suppose you look at a girl with a beautiful face. You do not look at her with lust, because “lust” is defined as sexual desire, and you have no desire to have sex with her. You only desire to admire her beauty. And it is not a sin of impurity, because she is modestly dressed, and you are only looking at her from the neck up. Nevertheless, the simple pleasure of looking at her face is enough to give you an arousal (even though for most men it probably wouldn’t). Is it a sin to continue admiring the beauty of her face?
 
Suppose you look at a girl with a beautiful face. You do not look at her with lust, because “lust” is defined as sexual desire, and you have no desire to have sex with her. You only desire to admire her beauty. And it is not a sin of impurity, because she is modestly dressed, and you are only looking at her from the neck up. Nevertheless, the simple pleasure of looking at her face is enough to give you an arousal (even though for most men it probably wouldn’t). Is it a sin to continue admiring the beauty of her face?
My opinion on this is that’s fine man. There are a lot worse things you can be doing then looking at a girl’s face and getting turned on. 😛
 
Jesus,our Lords peace be whit You.
OK,if You do it just by looking at her face,You don’t think or want,to have sex whit her,and You are able to forget her in,lets say,one hour,it is a borderline case. I would advice You to look the other direction.
Things do change IF You are married.
 
Suppose you look at a girl with a beautiful face. You do not look at her with lust, because “lust” is defined as sexual desire, and you have no desire to have sex with her. You only desire to admire her beauty. And it is not a sin of impurity, because she is modestly dressed, and you are only looking at her from the neck up. Nevertheless, the simple pleasure of looking at her face is enough to give you an arousal (even though for most men it probably wouldn’t). Is it a sin to continue admiring the beauty of her face?
I think your thoughts go beyond her beauty, if you are honest with yourself. Your arousal is a sexual response, so even if you don’t admit it, your mind and body are responding to a sexual attraction.
 
Desires of the flesh including sensual pursuits in general lead you away from Christ. You become fixated on short term pleasures that never sustain joy and they become habitual as you must repeat them to return the arousal time and time again. Instead focus on wisdom and the knowledge of the true self…these will lead you to a joy that sustains you.
 
Suppose you look at a girl with a beautiful face. You do not look at her with lust, because “lust” is defined as sexual desire, and you have no desire to have sex with her. You only desire to admire her beauty. And it is not a sin of impurity, because she is modestly dressed, and you are only looking at her from the neck up. Nevertheless, the simple pleasure of looking at her face is enough to give you an arousal (even though for most men it probably wouldn’t). Is it a sin to continue admiring the beauty of her face?
Lust is not just sexual desire.

Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

From Jimmy Akin the Chief Apologist at Catholic Answers:

jimmyakin.org/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html

From the well renowned Theologian Fr. John Hardon:

catholicreference.net/index.cfm?id=36447

From EWTN Theology Dept:

ewtn.com/expert/answers/dating.htm (though I would twique it a bit…for under pure intent I would add if one has begun to consent…sin already begins…I think the author intents it to be just “spontanious enjoyment/desire before any consent”)

Look…(pun intended)…if some spontanious arousal happens that one does not consent to happens…this does not mean there is any sin at all. I know you will not like this …but it “depends” on what is happening and the reason etc. To give examples… If you are having dinner with a date and are sitting across from the girl and talking with her in chaste/modest conversation …and some spontanious arousal occurs…one simply does not consent to it…and does what one can…look away for a moment…change the topic to something that may help…ignore it and of course do not consent to it (such is not a sin).

Or such can happen just being in the company of the girl…or holding her hand…well try to distract yourself…let go of her hand for a bit…that sort of thing…but do not scruple.

Now lets say you see some girls face on a train…and such happens…well look away…read a book or something til it passes. What one does not want to do is continue thinking or looking in a way that is stirring it up. Then perhaps try even to meet her if you are interested…

But yes…it can be a sin. It depends on what one means by arousal and other factors etc…for example some simple and little “involuntary stirrings” are often best ignored…they just happen.

Read well the above links. One must know oneself and the principles involved. Such ill help in the varied situations…together with the virtues of prudence , chastity and modesty. Also get a good confessor to help you out. So you do not scruple about things etc.

To answer the simple question of the title: Yes to intentionally arouse oneself is sinful and is one example of grave matter for mortal sin…or if one say continues the arousal with consent … (for a single person…obviously one wants to be aroused at times when one is married…)

But sometimes arousal comes a unintended side effect…and then…well read the above again and the links…

PM me if you wish
 
To answer the simple question of the title: Yes to intentionally arouse oneself is sinful and is one example of grave matter for mortal sin…or if one say continues the arousal with consent … (for a single person…obviously one wants to be aroused at times when one is married…)
Or one knowingly consents to the pleasure.
 
Thank you for your responses.

Let me get this straight. Suppose you have two men. One is normal, and the other has an abnormal physical sensitivity to sexual pleasure. Both men walk into a room and notice an attractive, modestly dressed woman. They both find her equally attractive. The first man looks at her face and admires her beauty, but he decides not to look below the neck in order to avoid the possibility of an arousal, and he successfully resists any impure or unchaste thoughts or desires about her. He does not feel any “stirrings”, so he feels safe to continue to look at her an admire her facial beauty for several minutes. The second man, who is again equally attracted to her, does the exact same thing, limiting his thoughts and his looks the exact same way, but this small amount of pleasure gives him an arousal. Are you saying that the first man did not sin, but the second man did sin? This seems unfair. It would be like making a law that only people taller than 5’10" are allowed to eat meat, and the rest of humanity must fast from meat for their entire lives. Why is the first man allowed more sexual pleasure than the first, just because his body responds differently?

I think we can all agree that both men were experiencing some sexual pleasure, and they both consented to it. But to say that the first man sinned is going way too far; and if the first man didn’t sin, how can one claim that the second man sinned?

I understand that pursuing sexual desires leads one away from Christ, and that to objectify a woman is unhealthy. But there are a lot of other things in life that are also unhealthy and may lead one away from Christ, but we wouldn’t call them directly sinful. My only question is whether the first and second man are sinning, not whether they will have a healthy spiritual life.
 
Thank you for your responses.

Let me get this straight. Suppose you have two men. One is normal, and the other has an abnormal physical sensitivity to sexual pleasure. Both men walk into a room and notice an attractive, modestly dressed woman. They both find her equally attractive. The first man looks at her face and admires her beauty, but he decides not to look below the neck in order to avoid the possibility of an arousal, and he successfully resists any impure or unchaste thoughts or desires about her. He does not feel any “stirrings”, so he feels safe to continue to look at her an admire her facial beauty for several minutes. The second man, who is again equally attracted to her, does the exact same thing, limiting his thoughts and his looks the exact same way, but this small amount of pleasure gives him an arousal. Are you saying that the first man did not sin, but the second man did sin? This seems unfair. It would be like making a law that only people taller than 5’10" are allowed to eat meat, and the rest of humanity must fast from meat for their entire lives. Why is the first man allowed more sexual pleasure than the first, just because his body responds differently?

I think we can all agree that both men were experiencing some sexual pleasure, and they both consented to it. But to say that the first man sinned is going way too far; and if the first man didn’t sin, how can one claim that the second man sinned?

I understand that pursuing sexual desires leads one away from Christ, and that to objectify a woman is unhealthy. But there are a lot of other things in life that are also unhealthy and may lead one away from Christ, but we wouldn’t call them directly sinful. My only question is whether the first and second man are sinning, not whether they will have a healthy spiritual life.
Again I direct you to my response and the links there.

to add a bit.

Sexual attraction is not the same thing as sexual pleasure.

No one may consent or “enjoy” sexual pleasure …outside of marriage… such is sin (grave matter).

Sexual pleasure is for marriage. Period.

But again…go read the post I posted above again and read the links.

It can happen that some involuntary arousal or sexual pleasure …stirrings etc can happen…such need not be any sin… if not consented to or sought. It depends on various things…read the post for more details.

PM me if you wish.
 
Thank you for your responses.

Let me get this straight. Suppose you have two men. One is normal, and the other has an abnormal physical sensitivity to sexual pleasure. Both men walk into a room and notice an attractive, modestly dressed woman. They both find her equally attractive. The first man looks at her face and admires her beauty, but he decides not to look below the neck in order to avoid the possibility of an arousal, and he successfully resists any impure or unchaste thoughts or desires about her. He does not feel any “stirrings”, so he feels safe to continue to look at her an admire her facial beauty for several minutes. The second man, who is again equally attracted to her, does the exact same thing, limiting his thoughts and his looks the exact same way, but this small amount of pleasure gives him an arousal. Are you saying that the first man did not sin, but the second man did sin? This seems unfair. It would be like making a law that only people taller than 5’10" are allowed to eat meat, and the rest of humanity must fast from meat for their entire lives. Why is the first man allowed more sexual pleasure than the first, just because his body responds differently?

I think we can all agree that both men were experiencing some sexual pleasure, and they both consented to it. But to say that the first man sinned is going way too far; and if the first man didn’t sin, how can one claim that the second man sinned?

I understand that pursuing sexual desires leads one away from Christ, and that to objectify a woman is unhealthy. But there are a lot of other things in life that are also unhealthy and may lead one away from Christ, but we wouldn’t call them directly sinful. My only question is whether the first and second man are sinning, not whether they will have a healthy spiritual life.
IMO NEITHER man sinned. You’re not going to burn in Hell for all eternity because you
“enjoyed” an erection. Hell is only for those people who are TRULY EVIL. You’re not evil if you enjoy or consent to an erection. You’re a normal human being.

You seem very scrupulous. I would strongly advise you to stop worrying about if it’s a sin to get and enjoy an erection. It seems like you spend a lot of time worrying about sinning or not sinning. In the time that you worry if the erection you got and enjoyed is going to send you to Hell you could be out doing a work of charity. You could be feeding the homeless, clothing the poor, getting baby supplies together for those who can’t afford them.

Doing good charitable works is far more important then obsessing about something that there is no need for.

Sorry if I seem a little forceful man, I just don’t want your scrupulousness to become something that is so torturous that you give up on your faith. Just relax man. 👍
 
You’re not going to burn in Hell for all eternity because you
“enjoyed” an erection. Hell is only for those people who are TRULY EVIL. You’re not evil if you enjoy or consent to an erection. You’re a normal human being.
Seeking extramarital sexual pleasure, with full knowledge of the gravity, is truly evil. If you do the described actions, you did something truly evil, and you do risk hell. You are not a completely normal human being if you participate in something evil, human nature is broken and weakened. We are never going to be completely “normal” human beings until the resurrection, when our bodies are glorified and restored to perfection, and freed from sin.
 
Seeking extramarital sexual pleasure, with full knowledge of the gravity, is truly evil. If you do the described actions, you did something truly evil, and you do risk hell. You are not a completely normal human being if you participate in something evil, human nature is broken and weakened. We are never going to be completely “normal” human beings until the resurrection, when our bodies are glorified and restored to perfection, and freed from sin.
Well I have to disagree. IMO people don’t go to Hell because they enjoyed a nice feeling. It’s a feeling that at times can’t be controlled and is impossible to not enjoy on some level.

It’s not evil to enjoy something that God gave you. Now mind you I’m not saying go and spend your life masturbating 24/7, I’m saying just enjoying an erection that pops up. Nothing wrong with that. You can’t control them and can’t not enjoy them.

Also we won’t be “normal” after the resurrection. We will be “perfect” human beings. There’s a difference.
 
I’m sorry Adam, but that is not what the church teaches, and it’s never what God has taught us,
in regards to sin and Gods law, your opinion really doesn’t matter, there is only one truth and that truth is God has created sexual pleasures for the married only, and to take those pleasures and enjoy them willingly outside of marriage, is to separate the pleasure from the purpose, it is not only impurity, it is also idolatry, and stealing,

you can go to one extreme and say it is bad to obsess over this sin and make it into a preoccupation, which is true, that is not good and not healthy,
but then the other extreme is not caring at all, which is also not good and not healthy,

the answer is, practice the virtue of temperance, which will regulate your actions and thoughts in a healthy way,
and in this case that means, when such a thing happens, try your best to fight it off, with prayer and other means, and if you fall, well, make reparation, and pick yourself up and try again, but if you do not fall, and you overcome the temptation, then you will receive more strength over these temptations,

so no, it is not something to get worried over in an inordinate way, but it is certainly something that should still be taken seriously,
it is a lack of caring that causes us to sin in the first place, and so even if this seems small to you, that doesn’t make it harmless,
because if we can’t even fight off the little things, than how can we expect to fight off the bigger things to?

true charity is the love of God above all else with all of our heart, mind, strength and soul, and to love our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God, and without that, whatever “charity” work you do is really in vain as far as your soul is concerned, as we are told in 1 Corinthians chapter 13,
so first and foremost, love God, who has told us that we love Him by keeping His commandments, and so even if good works are important, saving souls is more important, including your own.
what kind of charity is it to look after the temporal needs of our neighbor and not the spiritual needs? of course we should do both, but if we want to be true friends of God, we must take our sins very seriously, no matter how small.

the church tells us that to “deliberately take delight in any impure thoughts, desires, or actions” is mortally sinful…so perhaps this is not as small as you think.

here are some helpful aids in fighting and preventing impurity, and some prayers to, -
  1. Have I learned the necessity of praying daily for the grace to remain pure?
  2. Have I acquired the habit of saying an ejaculatory prayer when evil thoughts, desires or inclinations arise?
  3. Have I made regular or frequent use of the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion as a means of strength against impurity?
  4. Have I practiced any special devotion to Mary, the Virgin Mother of God, whose example and intercession are powerful aids to purity?
  5. Have I trained my will power for strength in temptation by practicing some form of voluntary mortification?
  6. Have I tried to avoid idleness, daydreaming, sloth, knowing that to keep occupied is one of the best defences against impurity?
  7. Have I made known even my serious temptations in confession, realizing that to reveal temptations is to gain strength against them?
  8. Have I been diligent in observing even the smaller rules of modesty, such as not to touch others even carelessly, and not to let my eyes wander too freely in public?
ASPIRATION: O Mary, through thy Immaculate Conception, keep my body pure and my soul holy. (300 days indulgence.) [326]

PRAYER: 0 Lord Jesus Christ, who hast said: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God,” grant me the grace of spotless chastity. Thou didst favour St. John with a special mark of Thy friendship because of Thy great love for the holy virtue; let me practice this virtue according to my state that I, too, may be Thy special friend. I am sorry for every fault committed against purity in the past; for every undisciplined thought, for every evil word, for every sensual or impure action. For the future I promise that I shall call upon Thy name and the name of Thy Immaculate Mother in every temptation that assails me; I shall avoid every occasion of sin that might lead me to seek for sinful gratification; I shall insist on chastity in word and deed from those around me; and I shall mortify my body in order that it may be strengthened against the assaults of evil desire. Moreover, I shall try to make some atonement for all the sins that are committed against chastity in the world, which made Thy physical pain so great in Thy bitter pas-sion. I dedicate my life to the defence of this virtue, that the Christian home may be defended and protected and that many souls may be saved from the terrible condemnation that impurity must receive. O Mary, Immaculate Mother, inspire in my heart thy own great love of the virtue of purity.

“Woe to you, Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but within they are full of robbery and uncleanness. Thou blind Pharisee! clean first the inside of the cup and of the dish, that the outside, too, may be clean.Woe to you, Scribes and Pharisees,hypocrites! because you are like whited sepulchres, which outwardly appear to men beautiful, but within are full of dead men’s bones and of all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear just to men, but within you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.” (Matthew 23: 25-28 )

The church gives us the answers, and if we do not understand certain things, it is because either we are not seeking the answers, not open to them, or not praying for the knowledge and understanding of them…

alright, hope this helps, take care.
 
the church tells us that to “deliberately take delight in any impure thoughts, desires, or actions” is mortally sinful…so perhaps this is not as small as you think.

here are some helpful aids in fighting and preventing impurity, and some prayers to, -
  1. Have I learned the necessity of praying daily for the grace to remain pure?
  2. Have I acquired the habit of saying an ejaculatory prayer when evil thoughts, desires or inclinations arise?
  3. Have I made regular or frequent use of the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion as a means of strength against impurity?
  4. Have I practiced any special devotion to Mary, the Virgin Mother of God, whose example and intercession are powerful aids to purity?
  5. Have I trained my will power for strength in temptation by practicing some form of voluntary mortification?
  6. Have I tried to avoid idleness, daydreaming, sloth, knowing that to keep occupied is one of the best defences against impurity?
  7. Have I made known even my serious temptations in confession, realizing that to reveal temptations is to gain strength against them?
  8. Have I been diligent in observing even the smaller rules of modesty, such as not to touch others even carelessly, and not to let my eyes wander too freely in public?
ASPIRATION: O Mary, through thy Immaculate Conception, keep my body pure and my soul holy. (300 days indulgence.) [326]

PRAYER: 0 Lord Jesus Christ, who hast said: “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they shall see God,” grant me the grace of spotless chastity. Thou didst favour St. John with a special mark of Thy friendship because of Thy great love for the holy virtue; let me practice this virtue according to my state that I, too, may be Thy special friend. I am sorry for every fault committed against purity in the past; for every undisciplined thought, for every evil word, for every sensual or impure action. For the future I promise that I shall call upon Thy name and the name of Thy Immaculate Mother in every temptation that assails me; I shall avoid every occasion of sin that might lead me to seek for sinful gratification; I shall insist on chastity in word and deed from those around me; and I shall mortify my body in order that it may be strengthened against the assaults of evil desire. Moreover, I shall try to make some atonement for all the sins that are committed against chastity in the world, which made Thy physical pain so great in Thy bitter pas-sion. I dedicate my life to the defence of this virtue, that the Christian home may be defended and protected and that many souls may be saved from the terrible condemnation that impurity must receive. O Mary, Immaculate Mother, inspire in my heart thy own great love of the virtue of purity.

“Woe to you, Scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because you clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but within they are full of robbery and uncleanness. Thou blind Pharisee! clean first the inside of the cup and of the dish, that the outside, too, may be clean.Woe to you, Scribes and Pharisees,hypocrites! because you are like whited sepulchres, which outwardly appear to men beautiful, but within are full of dead men’s bones and of all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear just to men, but within you are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.” (Matthew 23: 25-28 )

The church gives us the answers, and if we do not understand certain things, it is because either we are not seeking the answers, not open to them, or not praying for the knowledge and understanding of them…

alright, hope this helps, take care.
First off I’m sure this post took you a long time to type and I thank you for caring enough about my post to respond at length. 🙂

I have a few points to bring up though.

“God has created sexual pleasures for the married only, and to take those pleasures and enjoy them willingly outside of marriage, is to separate the pleasure from the purpose, it is not only impurity, it is also idolatry, and stealing,”

It is impossible to not enjoy an erection willingly. Any type of feeling that causes pleasure you enjoy. Saying “I don’t want this” or “God please make this go away” does not make you not enjoy it. If it feels good, at some level you are enjoying it.

“the church tells us that to “deliberately take delight in any impure thoughts, desires, or actions” is mortally sinful…”
I think and maybe I’m wrong but I think the quote is not mortally sinful, but a grave matter. There are many discussions about if a grave matter is ALWAYS a mortal sin or not. Many good, practicing, holy catholics would say that something that is grave is not ALWAYS 100% a mortal sin. It is just very close to it.

Also to answer your questions.
  1. Yep.
  2. No.
  3. Yes and no.
  4. I, along with my boyfriend, pray the rosary daily.
  5. Not sure what that is? What is it?
  6. Kind of. I’m not lazy but I do like to daydream though.
  7. No.
  8. Honestly, not at all.
 
All,

I await your responses to the situation with the two men (with the exception of Adam, who already responded). Did they both sin, neither sin, or one sin and not the other?

I am convinced that sexual pleasure outside of marriage is a sin. Thank you, especially EmeraldWings, for your enlightening responses. EmeraldWings, I answered “no” to all 8 questions, so unless I try some of them, I have no excuse for failing! Now I have something to try… thanks so much for the list.

But I need some elaboration. What exactly is “sexual pleasure”? Did the first man in my scenario experience “sexual pleasure”, or was it something less? Note again that he did not have an arousal.

You said earlier, “the church tells us that to ‘deliberately take delight in any impure thoughts, desires, or actions’ is mortally sinful”. But in all of my posts, I have made it very clear that there were no impure thoughts, desires, or actions whatsoever. All I did, and all the two men in the scenario did, was look at a pretty girl’s face and enjoy looking at it. That is not impure. That is not desire. Therefore your quotation is irrelevant, and I still await your response to my posts.

Please, somebody respond to my scenario in my last post.

And Bookcat, I will get to your links.
 
All,

I await your responses to the situation with the two men (with the exception of Adam, who already responded). Did they both sin, neither sin, or one sin and not the other?

I am convinced that sexual pleasure outside of marriage is a sin. Thank you, especially EmeraldWings, for your enlightening responses. EmeraldWings, I answered “no” to all 8 questions, so unless I try some of them, I have no excuse for failing! Now I have something to try… thanks so much for the list.

But I need some elaboration. What exactly is “sexual pleasure”? Did the first man in my scenario experience “sexual pleasure”, or was it something less? Note again that he did not have an arousal.

You said earlier, “the church tells us that to ‘deliberately take delight in any impure thoughts, desires, or actions’ is mortally sinful”. But in all of my posts, I have made it very clear that there were no impure thoughts, desires, or actions whatsoever. All I did, and all the two men in the scenario did, was look at a pretty girl’s face and enjoy looking at it. That is not impure. That is not desire. Therefore your quotation is irrelevant, and I still await your response to my posts.

Please, somebody respond to my scenario in my last post.

And Bookcat, I will get to your links.
looking at a pretty girls face is not sinful, admiring beauty is just fine, but if it does cause arousal, then that is a problem,
yes what may not be a sin for one person can be a sin for another, if one person gets aroused by something that someone else doesn’t, then that person should avoid that thing, unless it is absolutely unavoidable,
but what makes it a sin is not simply being aroused, but giving in and enjoying that arousal with no effort to overcome it.

i’m sorry i cannot explain this further right now, i have to leave for work, but i will try to explain it better when i get back if you want me to.
 
Well I have to disagree. IMO people don’t go to Hell because they enjoyed a nice feeling. It’s a feeling that at times can’t be controlled and is impossible to not enjoy on some level.

It’s not evil to enjoy something that God gave you. Now mind you I’m not saying go and spend your life masturbating 24/7, I’m saying just enjoying an erection that pops up. Nothing wrong with that. You can’t control them and can’t not enjoy them.

Also we won’t be “normal” after the resurrection. We will be “perfect” human beings. There’s a difference.
If sexual pleasure happens as you describe in a single person…and that person willingly “enjoys” that is “fully consents to it deliberately will full knowledge” that IS a an evil. It is called a mortal sin. So yes there is something very wrong with that!!!

Now if something like this happens that is say for example not the persons fault etc (all sorts of times this could happen in varied ways…and sometimes there is fault etc) and the person does not consent to it…(willingly enjoy them) well that is what is called involuntary…and THAT is no problem…no sin.

(read Hardon catholicreference.net/index.cfm?id=36447 and post 6))

Catholic Moral Theology makes very good distinctions here.
 
All,

I await your responses to the situation with the two men (with the exception of Adam, who already responded). Did they both sin, neither sin, or one sin and not the other?

I am convinced that sexual pleasure outside of marriage is a sin. Thank you, especially EmeraldWings, for your enlightening responses. EmeraldWings, I answered “no” to all 8 questions, so unless I try some of them, I have no excuse for failing! Now I have something to try… thanks so much for the list.

But I need some elaboration. What exactly is “sexual pleasure”? Did the first man in my scenario experience “sexual pleasure”, or was it something less? Note again that he did not have an arousal.

You said earlier, “the church tells us that to ‘deliberately take delight in any impure thoughts, desires, or actions’ is mortally sinful”. But in all of my posts, I have made it very clear that there were no impure thoughts, desires, or actions whatsoever. All I did, and all the two men in the scenario did, was look at a pretty girl’s face and enjoy looking at it. That is not impure. That is not desire. Therefore your quotation is irrelevant, and I still await your response to my posts.

Please, somebody respond to my scenario in my last post.

And Bookcat, I will get to your links.
As to sexual pleasure…etc

Yes those links will help you answer this and other things.

Pm me if need be
 
looking at a pretty girls face is not sinful, admiring beauty is just fine, but if it does cause arousal, then that is a problem,
yes what may not be a sin for one person can be a sin for another, if one person gets aroused by something that someone else doesn’t, then that person should avoid that thing, unless it is absolutely unavoidable,
but what makes it a sin is not simply being aroused, but giving in and enjoying that arousal with no effort to overcome it.

i’m sorry i cannot explain this further right now, i have to leave for work, but i will try to explain it better when i get back if you want me to.
i’m sorry i have to correct myself here, i probably shouldn’t have replied when i was already in a rush for work,

i said “what may not be a sin for one person can be a sin for another”
i meant to say that in regards to near occasions of sin,
when something is an actual sin, it is a sin for everyone, but can be venial or mortal depending on varying circumstance,
but in near occasions of sin, it can depend on the person,
and we are told by the church that we are obligated to avoid near occasions of sin.

ok, i’m actually at work now and my brake is just about over, so i’ll probably reply again later.
 
There is a story of 2 bishops that are walking down the street. A prostitute walks by them one of the bishops turns away and adverts his eyes, while the other one stares at this prostitute until she is out of sight.

The one that turned away said to the other, “Avert your eyes friend so that you do not sin.”

But when he turned back to look at the one that was staring at the prostitute; he notices that his friends eyes are filled with tears. Tears because he felt pain. Because one of God’s beautiful creations was being used for such terrible things.

In this case, did either one of them sin? No. The one was afraid that he might sin, so he turned away to avoid it. A good thing to do if you feel that you might get yourself into trouble. But the other one seemed to have more of an appreciation of God’s creation of the beauty of a fellow human being. He had no impure thoughts, because he understood the nature of her creation and looked at her in that way instead of with lust.

So is being aroused by a girls face wrong? Well, I doubt that if you looked at her in the same way as that bishop would you have become aroused, so it wasn’t exactly the best thing for your to do. However, as long as you didn’t dwell upon it for hours, or use your arousal to commit some other, more sinful action, I don’t think it was much to worry about. We are human beings and we don’t always have the same understanding as our pure bishop in the story. I’m confident God understands this.
 
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