Is it a sin to go to confession under these circumstances?

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Well, I’ve struggled with the same situation. Having parents who don’t confess and receive communion in a state of mortal sin. My advice would be to confess having invalidly partaken the Eucharist.
I did that for a long time. But, once I confessed it I always cross my arms and don’t receive communion if I’m in a state of mortal sin (which is every time I go to mass, bc I too am struggling with overcoming masturbation).

So, confess. Then don’t receive.

Soon you’ll gain freedom from your parents, to have enough control over your own life to drive yourself to confession. The Church only encourages the faithful to receive the Eucharist, and I think the obligation is to confess and receive validly only once per year. [either at Easter, or if you’ve done so at another time in the year, **I think is the official position of obligation]

SO, even though some people may not like that response. I make it bc I used to be in your shoes. At 16/17/still under your semi-practicing parents’ roof I’d say if you can only rarely go to confession, so that it’s hard to be in a state of grace; just find hope in that you’ll only have this struggle for 2 or so more years— and it isn’t a struggle if you’ve stopped receiving.

There’s my :twocents: hope that helps.
 
Definitely call a priest and explain your situation with your family. Never be afraid to call a priest. I am sure he will be able to arrange some way of meeting up with him. Any priest would be more than happy to do that.

Are you close enough to a church where you could ride a bike? Or even take a bus?

We are all given trials in our lives, but God never gives us more than we can handle.
 
Thanks, guys, you’ve all been really helpful. 🙂

I think I’m going to go for it and ask one of my parents about taking me to confession. I’d like to give them a chance before I talk to a priest. I haven’t decided which one to ask yet (I’m a girl, btw), and either way it probably won’t really matter since whoever I tell will lose no time in telling the other one what I’m up to. I do know that my mom has had some pretty bad experiences with confession (and when she tried going again when we were at the National Shrine last month, the priest was asleep when she went in :p). My dad wouldn’t go near the confessional there, but I wonder if he might be more open to taking me and less likely to judge me for it, since I think a lot of his views are more conservative than my mom’s. Plus my dad would be less likely to ask questions or go into the church with me just to “monitor” me.

If the answer is no, I’ll call my priest, explain the situation, and see if I can work something out on my own. The nearest church is around three miles from my house, but I’ve actually never been to it and I’m not sure where exactly it is; my parish is about eight miles, which would be a very doable bike ride if my parents weren’t breathing down my neck asking where I was going, you know?

Sound like a good plan?

Thanks,
~lefty22
 
lefty22 said:
Thanks, guys, you’ve all been really helpful. 🙂

I think I’m going to go for it and ask one of my parents about taking me to confession. I’d like to give them a chance before I talk to a priest. I haven’t decided which one to ask yet (I’m a girl, btw), and either way it probably won’t really matter since whoever I tell will lose no time in telling the other one what I’m up to. I do know that my mom has had some pretty bad experiences with confession (and when she tried going again when we were at the National Shrine last month, the priest was asleep when she went in :p). My dad wouldn’t go near the confessional there, but I wonder if he might be more open to taking me and less likely to judge me for it, since I think a lot of his views are more conservative than my mom’s. Plus my dad would be less likely to ask questions or go into the church with me just to “monitor” me.

If the answer is no, I’ll call my priest, explain the situation, and see if I can work something out on my own. The nearest church is around three miles from my house, but I’ve actually never been to it and I’m not sure where exactly it is; my parish is about eight miles, which would be a very doable bike ride if my parents weren’t breathing down my neck asking where I was going, you know?

Sound like a good plan?

Thanks,
~lefty22
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Sounds like a great plan and there is nothing that says that your Confessor needs to be your parish priest - any Catholic priest will do. Your parents may surprise you or you may be a beacon of light that brings them back to the confessional.
 
lefty, I’m glad you’ve decided to talk to your parents. Let us know how it works out with your folks!

In my personal opinion, it wouldn’t be a good idea to *commit *a sin (lie, deceive) or break a Commandment (Honor thy father and mother) to go to confession.

I hope you get to go to confession soon and receive absolution and peace, as well as strength to better resist temptation in the future. It’s easier to avoid some temptations than others, but try to avoid them when you can.

As a wise priest once told me, just 'cause the devil’s knocking on the door doesn’t mean you have to open it and invite him in!
 
I’ve noticed that our young friend Lefty seems to come up with new angles after receiving answers that require yet more answers. I think the whole thing is a game of some sort, just my opinion, but on the off chance that it isn’t a game Lefty, try this. Pick up your telephone, I somehow suspect you’ll say you don’t have access to one, but anyway, pick up the phone, find a phone book, I know, you probably don’t have one of those either, and CALL A PRIEST👍👍
He can tell you exactly what your situation is and what you need to do.

Give it a shot. It just might work.
 
lefty,
A lot of people have given you some great advice. I’ll be praying that you get to confession! However, this I can’t agree with:
I totally understand why you have to take communion in a state of Mortal Sin, as you are being prevented from attending confession and pressured to take communion. God will understand.
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My parents also pressured me to receive communion a few years ago, at a time when I was almost constantly in mortal sin. They were, for some reason, convinced I was scrupulous (I wasn’t in the least), and didn’t like seeing me cross my arms or stay in the pew week after week. So I started receiving communion in mortal sin, just to please my parents. Let me tell you, it was NOT worth it. Looking back, I would have rather been kicked out of the house by my parents than received even one communion while not in a state of grace. If you go to Mass and are in mortal sin, try thinking of the martyrs, who chose to die rather than commit a serious sin, often against the wishes of their family and close friends. Somehow family pressure, with no more serious consequences than that you’ll receive an interrogation, seems less intimidating once you consider this.
I would encourage you, when you have confession, to also talk to the priest about this situation. Explain to him the pressure that you’re feeling from your parents. He will likely have some good advice on how to deal with this.
Good luck and God Bless You!
 
Some of us were lucky to have parents who really encouraged us to go for confession, without ever snooping about to find out what our confessions were all about. For that am eternally grateful for it helped nurture a love and reverence for the sacraments and to get the convictions and understanding of what this sacrament does. Certainly I don’t see any sin in going for confession in that state: you need it. You will not be sinning against your parents. Do take time to reflect on the following point from the Catechism of the Catholic Church and I think you will see the point:
2223 Parents have the first responsibility for the education of their children. They bear witness to this responsibility first by creating a home where tenderness, forgiveness, respect, fidelity, and disinterested service are the rule. The home is well suited for education in the virtues. This requires an apprenticeship in self-denial, sound judgment, and self-mastery – the preconditions of all true freedom.
 
Do you tell your parents who you are calling every time you make a call? If not, it is not going behind your parents’ back to call your parish priest and to explain that going to confession is difficult because you are fearful that your parents may ask why you want to be taken to confession if you ask. Then see what he advises! it is important not to do your parents down or to make assumptions about what their response might be as this would be very unfair. The truth of the matter is that you are fearful (rightly or wrongly) so say this and say what it is you fear.
 
So I asked my mom today and she said she’ll take me!! 🙂 The conversation actually went pretty well; she asked a few questions and we got into a VERY long discussion, but mostly I just let her talk and the bottom line is she says she’ll take me whenever I want. Not sure if that will happen in practice since I know she doesn’t entirely approve, but I’m really relieved that at least for now it looks like I’ll be able to go on occasion. Thank you so much for all your ideas and advice!

~lefty22
 
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