Is it a sin to want to die?

[Bataar]

I still think there’s a difference between wanting to commit suicide (and not doing it) and just wanting to die. Like I’ve said, I want my life to end. I’m tired of it. No matter how much I pray or ask for God’s guidance, I don’t get anything. I’m not asking for much, just to know his plan or to get some kind of encouragement. I’m tired of being alone with nothing to look forward to. And yes, I am alone. God doesn’t talk back to me. God doesn’t offer any kind of comfort or relief, etc. It’s a complete one sided relationship. How can I follow God’s will if he won’t make it known at all for me? There’s nothing good going on in my current situation, either for me or for God so I have a hard time believing that my current situation is his will unless he wants me to ultimately despair at some point. It’s a no win situation for me.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

I still think there’s a difference between wanting to commit suicide (and not doing it) and just wanting to die. Like I’ve said, I want my life to end. I’m tired of it. No matter how much I pray or ask for God’s guidance, I don’t get anything. I’m not asking for much, just to know his plan or to get some kind of encouragement. I’m tired of being alone with nothing to look forward to. And yes, I am alone. God doesn’t talk back to me. God doesn’t offer any kind of comfort or relief, etc. It’s a complete one sided relationship. How can I follow God’s will if he won’t make it known at all for me? There’s nothing good going on in my current situation, either for me or for God so I have a hard time believing that my current situation is his will unless he wants me to ultimately despair at some point. It’s a no win situation for me.

I feel your pain. No really, I’m much in the same situation. Sometimes I wish I could just fall asleep at night and never wake up.

Suppose though, a person decides that life sucks and he wants to die. Suppose I was to stop taking my cholesterol and blood pressure medicines. Suppose I stopped eating healthy. Suppose I stop exercising. After all, these things just postpone the inevitable. So I’ll just let my health go to pot and hopefully I’ll die sooner rather than later.

 

[AbideWithMe]

I’m honestly very worried about my own tendency to gloom and despair. I fear that it will become more present and consuming as I get older and perhaps have less options and opportunities than I do now as a young adult.

For what it’s worth, I’ve found life has gotten better and easier as I’ve gotten older.

–I can put things into a larger perspective more easily.

–I know that the rough periods, which used to seem to loom so large that it was only by faith that I could see past them to an imagined brighter end, are temporary.

–From some of those hard periods, I’ve learned to be truly thankful, even if only for little mundane things, right in the midst of unpleasant circumstances.

–I’ve learned to be in the present moment, without an “internal dialogue” distracting my attention, from going through difficult times.

Hang in there. For people here who are Catholic, if I remember rightly Brother David Steindl-Rast has some really good writings on thankfulness.

There’s a saying that “If you want to play the piano in heaven, start practicing now on earth.” That makes me remember that if I want to be one of the people kneeling before God in thankfulness, praise and wonder in heaven, I’d better start practicing thankfulness now…even if sometimes it’s something as small as being thankful for a cool glass of water on a hot day, or saying a blessing to Him as I step into a warm, still house on a blustery cold winter day. I think I need not wait for things to be better in heaven before I find ways to be thankful every day.

 

[timotheos]

Psalm 22:6 – But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people.

I love this psalm; it transcends the many centuries for me to discover my true identity in it.

Your question is a good one. But really what are you saying? Is it life itself, ie. to breathe, to see, to think, so unbearable? Or is it, for example, your place among other people, and lack of any hope of fulfilling your deepest desires with other human souls, eg. friendship, empathy, marriage, etc.?

I have been aware of my own ambivalence toward life. My own desire to die is based on my lifelong deep despair over the all-pervasive evil, selfishness, greed, superficiality, nastiness and materialism in other people. And yet, put me in a desert, away from the sin of all mankind, and I can find much for which to thank God, and much to live for. And, in this setting, I can recognize my own sin better; it’s just me and God and no one else to distract me.

You need to find exactly what it is that makes life unbearable for you. Then, at least for now, in your relationship with God do your best to exclude it from that part of your life that makes you want to live. If it is certain people, or a situation, sequester them away. If your concern for people who don’t follow God keeps you roped in, remember, God will take care of them in his way; it is ultimately not your responsibility. He is their creator, not you.

Wanting to die is to want to throw out the bathwater, which is creating a horrible stench. But I think there is still a baby in there somewhere, and you need to find him.

 

[doanli]

I’m honestly very worried about my own tendency to gloom and despair. I fear that it will become more present and consuming as I get older and perhaps have less options and opportunities than I do now as a young adult. This is a culture where you seem to lose value and social visibility past a certain age. Aside from an innate or perhaps learned disposition to melancholy, there are a great many external circumstances weighing on me. I feel that the scripture which says something to the effect of God never gives us more than we can bear is deepy untrue. Perhaps Jesus, in his divinity, didn’t have as great or accurate a regard for human weakness and frailty as he could have. People can not bear some crosses their whole lives through. If people didn’t have more than they could bear, then we wouldn’t go insane, have mental collapses, and even commit suicide. I have been told that the only cure for depair is faith in God and hope in Christ as laid out in the new testament, but all that these ideas have ever provided was a kind of temporal inspiration that would subside easily and quickly. It satisfied my craving to believe in something beautiful and ideal, but it never existed as anything other than an abstract. Hope should be more than just an idea, it has to be an experience, something that imbues a person and is an animating spirit. I don’t know how you access that kind of hope.

I have to admit, this has been my exact thoughts over the years. Then I feel guilty for not having enough faith. What did the saints have that sustained them? It’s all so complex to me now and I don’t understand half of what I read anymore. I don’t understand why I have not attained that peace even though I live in a pretty much free country where I am not persecuted (yet) for my faith, and have been blessed with so much. I feel so ungrateful for not feeling more, and some days, not yearning to learn more. I have tried to be good to work on my faults. I get better and then regress. It’s disheartening. I cannot get the image of the Lord checking boxes of my pro’s and con’s out of my head when He reviews my life in the Hereafter. I am so afraid I’m going to fail miserably because I never know if a thought, any idea, is from Him or some passing vanity of mine.

 

[doanli]

I love this psalm; it transcends the many centuries for me to discover my true identity in it.

Your question is a good one. But really what are you saying? Is it life itself, ie. to breathe, to see, to think, so unbearable? Or is it, for example, your place among other people, and lack of any hope of fulfilling your deepest desires with other human souls, eg. friendship, empathy, marriage, etc.?

I have been aware of my own ambivalence toward life. My own desire to die is based on my lifelong deep despair over the all-pervasive evil, selfishness, greed, superficiality, nastiness and materialism in other people. And yet, put me in a desert, away from the sin of all mankind, and I can find much for which to thank God, and much to live for. And, in this setting, I can recognize my own sin better; it’s just me and God and no one else to distract me.

You need to find exactly what it is that makes life unbearable for you. Then, at least for now, in your relationship with God do your best to exclude it from that part of your life that makes you want to live. If it is certain people, or a situation, sequester them away. If your concern for people who don’t follow God keeps you roped in, remember, God will take care of them in his way; it is ultimately not your responsibility. He is their creator, not you.

Wanting to die is to want to throw out the bathwater, which is creating a horrible stench. But I think there is still a baby in there somewhere, and you need to find him.

I know what I would change, but that would involve uprooting my family, who are happy where we live now, my husband is happy with his job, my son is happy with his friends and with high school. I cannot change jobs (do something else) because it will not pay me enough to help pay the bills. And my husband will NOT even consider selling our house.

 

[Bataar]

I have to admit, this has been my exact thoughts over the years. Then I feel guilty for not having enough faith. What did the saints have that sustained them? It’s all so complex to me now and I don’t understand half of what I read anymore. I don’t understand why I have not attained that peace even though I live in a pretty much free country where I am not persecuted (yet) for my faith, and have been blessed with so much. I feel so ungrateful for not feeling more, and some days, not yearning to learn more. I have tried to be good to work on my faults. I get better and then regress. It’s disheartening. I cannot get the image of the Lord checking boxes of my pro’s and con’s out of my head when He reviews my life in the Hereafter. I am so afraid I’m going to fail miserably because I never know if a thought, any idea, is from Him or some passing vanity of mine.

I hear the “You have to have faith” platitude quite a bit. It wears thin after a while. I have faith. It just doesn’t help. Having faith doesn’t change my circumstances at all. Probably due to my Aspergers, I’m a total realist so I can’t make myself hope for something unless I know of a realistic way for it to happen and that just isn’t the case for me.

 

[littleflower22]

I personally do not think so…

I asked a priest one time during confession if it was bad/sin that I prayed for my death and that I wanted to die… he said yes… because you were rejecting a gift from God… and basically everything the previous posts had mentioned… (I found a different priest -spiritual director who understood and listened to me and helped guide me and direct me and gave me the proper advice to obtain the right perspective and keep moving forward… I highly suggest seeking out a spiritual director)

I used to beg God everyday to take my life…pray an oncoming car would come and hit me… get in a freak accident… something that would take my life so I could die… since suicide was not an option… I realized this was a selfish approach and although it was a sincere desire it was not pure or in the right perspective…

My perspective was why would anyone want to stay here on Earth with all this temptation and sin when any happiness they felt if any will be multiplied tremendously beyond human understanding in Heaven where there clearly is no sin or temptation… It just didn’t make sense to me…Why does anyone want to live a long life… Wouldn’t you want to die as soon as you can so you can be home in Heaven?? I struggled with this concept and request for several years until my perspective changed for the better…

I realized that my request although it was sincere it was selfish… I am trying to see the good in everything… because God made everything good… and am trying to see Christ in everyone… God placed me here on Earth as well as you and everyone else for a reason and it is our duty to perform to the best of our abilities His Will… we are here to Know God, To Love God, and To Serve God… Once we have completed whatever it is that God sent us to do only then will He bring us home…and ON HIS TIME… which is frustrating when you don’t know what you have to do and you just want to go home! (So there really is no point in praying for your death… it will just frustrate you if you continue to pray for your death and every morning you wake up upset that you are still alive…at least that was the case for me… I am learning to accept that I will only die in God’s time and to be patient and trust in Him) Now I wake up every morning and thank Him for a new day and another opportunity to do His Will and for another chance to spread His love and bring others to Him and tell Him that I look forward to the day when He takes me home to Heaven.

I am still trying to put it all in the proper perspective but I have not asked God to take my life or wished for my death for seven months now.(And I am much happier because of it) I know I am here on Earth for a reason and I want to fulfill my purpose and do God’s will. However I am still scared to connect to something tangible on Earth because I know that if I were given the opportunity to die and go to Heaven I would go instantly… I also know that even if I were gifted everything my eyes and hearts desired on this Earth I would give it all up with out a thought and accept my death without a fight… I’m not sure if that is right or not but it sure makes it difficult when you are thinking about marriage …the possibility of children… a work life… (How can you be held responsible in a marriage and with children if you would be ok just leaving them on Earth if you had a chance to go to Heaven… surely that isn’t right?? But I don’t know this is still something along my journey that I am struggling with and have yet to figure out) Can you really have both… desire to die/be home in Heaven & a life on Earth?

Please find a spiritual director/priest to discuss these thoughts and desires you are having. I personally do not think it is a sin. I think it is a wonderful thing to want to die because it shows that you see beyond Earth and want to be Home in Heaven. Just make sure that the reason you want to die is not to escape something, depression, and it is not self-seeking… all of those that I mentioned were factors into why I wanted to die… even though I did have sincere intentions aside from those it didn’t matter because overall as a whole my intentions were not pure… I have been working on changing this and for me I no longer want to die to escape something or because I was depressed… I am constantly putting myself in check to make sure my intentions are not self seeking… And because of this my desire to die and to be home in Heaven is stronger than ever… It is still not 100% pure but I am and always will work on improving that.

Pray to God to open your eyes and grant you wisdom and understanding of why he will not let you die.

I hope this helps and I didn’t ramble… your post just caught my eye as I struggled/still struggling with this same idea. Hopefully my experience helps you move forward quicker than I did… I was struggling for a solid four years (I am 22 now) but have wanted to die and go to Heaven since I was a little girl. Hopefully you can transform your desire to die into a happy positive experience

Life’s Short. Heaven’s Forever.
1 John 2:16-17

 

[Robert_Sock]

“Love not the world, nor the things which are in the world. If any man love the world, the charity of the Father is not in him.”
–1 John 2:15

 

[Robert_Sock]

“Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
-John 12:25

 

[thesmiter1]

Okay, I am not talking about committing suicide, which is a mortal sin, but is it wrong for a person to want to die of natural causes. For example a person wishes that they would get in a car accident caused by another person, or that they would get a heart attack or an aneurysm. I know its a weird situation, but how would it be sinful for someone to want to die, but still go on living if nothing happens?

I have suffered through depression, and have dealt with this on numerous occasions throughout my life. I would say that if the desire is caused by a mental disorder (such as depression), it is not necessarily mortal sin, but it is inherently disordered and perhaps grave in nature. However, the individual may have mitigating circumstances that take away the mortal nature of the sin, leaving them less culpable.

Here is the main point: regardless of whether or not it is a mortal sin, it is disordered, and the person needs HELP. They need spiritual direction, therapy, and possibly medication. I have found recently that I need all three. God is vital in all aspects of life, and so they need Him, and they also need to alleviate the illness that they have.

Try to encourage this person. Tell them that they are beloved by God, and that He is well pleased with them. Tell them that there IS hope, and that there is HELP. Trust me, I have been to the deepest, darkest depths of depression as a result of circumstance (as there was little I could do), and my mind worked in the way that I became depressed and desired death. This CAN be changed. It is disordered, but telling them it’s sinful will not help. Telling them they are LOVED, and that God’s love applies to THEM, is what they need. Get the HELP!

May God bring hope to those who despair, and peace to those who suffer.