Is it allowable to use NFP in order to have no child?

[somecanadian]

Aw. Thanks. I’m blunt and kind of can come off aggressive but I promise I’m just trying to learn and this is how I do it! Haha.

 

[halogirl]

It’s ok I’ve been told on here I’m strange and manipulative lol . Most people are good and mean well. Xx no point not being yourself

 

[someone429]

I know another Catholic couple who didn’t use NFP. They got married in their 30s and had 9 live children and 13 miscarriages, so 22 pregnancies.

9 children are very many. I don’t think I can handle such a large number of children. Even if the money is not a problem for me (which is unlikely to be the case), the time, care and efforts are still a problem for me.

 

[somecanadian]

Well, I can say they seemed very, very happy. They aren’t rich but are the ones who told me God would provide and for them, He seemed to.

But we have to know our limitations.

 

[MagdalenaRita]

I think today with healthcare and college costs it would be pretty difficult but people used to do it. They also had fewer things and lived in smaller homes though also

 

[Elf01]

Do you truly believe it is usually a wholly free choice for empoverished women in the third world?

A woman in that situation would be better off being helped into a situation where she can make a free choice. Homilies should focus on what is required of a husband and if necessary helping the wives of those who don’t learn to start new lives.

 

[MagdalenaRita]

I think the important thing might be to talk to your priest where you can explain better to him what might be your reasons for wanting to avoid pregnancy. It is important to be willing to be open to life in marriage. The wording can be just, serious or well-grounded in Humanae Vitae but it is important that the reasons for using NFP be moral ones. I would read Humanae Vitae. A very important document.

Also, be very sure you and your future spouse are on the same page in this and in your reasoning because it can be very difficult when one is very desirous for children and the other is not. I have known several women who wanted children desperately and their husbands did not and it was very hurtful to the women.

This is something that would typically be discussed with your priest anyway as you go for pre-marital counseling.

You will need to be ready to answer this question at your wedding:

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?”

 

[una_ecclesia]

Many cultures in the past didn’t resort to contraception or NFP. They also happened to breastfeed on demand though, among other practices (it’s called ecological breast feeding today), which, on average, does space out births by anywhere from 2-4 years. If I recall. These cultures would have averages of 4 children in some places, up to 7 children in others (again these are averages… some women had more, but others had less) . But this wasn’t done intentionally to space births. The women would just do it to feed their kids, and it had its effects. Modern lifestyles and demands on women don’t really work well with women’s reproductive systems, unfortunately.

 

[ShowersofRoses]

They also happened to breastfeed on demand though, among other practices (it’s called ecological breast feeding today), which, on average, does space out births by anywhere from 2-4 years.

Hahaha…I tried that. Didn’t work for me, at all!!

 

[una_ecclesia]

Welp, it’s why I said averages… (I think the requirements are more than simply on demand breastfeeding though… there’s a whole bunch of other things got have to do)

 

[pensmama87]

Right. There’s also infertility due to malnutrition or other factors. People in the past did have higher fertility rates than now, but even then, most people did not have a child every year.

 

[rcwitness]

You are talking about rape. If the sex is against the will of the person, the use of contraception is a form of self defence. Completely different than wanting/choosing sex while blocking the chance of pregnancy.

In those situations, it’s not a “lesser disorder”. It’s not a disorder at all.

 

[dumbox]

The bias should always be openness to the gifts of one’s conjugal union.

The real work is to penetrate the question “why avoid having a child”.

“Because my wife has been told by her doctors she will likely die” is a good reason.

“Because I think the world has too many people” is not a good reason, and this excuse likely hides another reason (I want my freedom, I don’t want to give heroic effort to raising a child well, etc.).

 

[goout]

goout:

A poorly formed conscience does not excuse the sinfulness of an action.

Agreed though I believe you really mean to say:
“A poorly form conscience does not change the objective disorder of the action.”

No that’s not what I meant to say. I meant to say what I said, and I said what I meant.
Poorly formed conscience does not excuse sin. It might mitigate culpability.
Culpability is God’s sphere of competence, not ours.

We are called to be holy.
If you glean nothing else from the Second Vatican Council, it should be this: the universal call to holiness.This is a demanding call that roots out half heartedness and indifferent moral attitudes.

 

[someone429]

The bias should always be openness to the gifts of one’s conjugal union.

The real work is to penetrate the question “why avoid having a child”.

“Because my wife has been told by her doctors she will likely die” is a good reason.

“Because I think the world has too many people” is not a good reason, and this excuse likely hides another reason (I want my freedom, I don’t want to give heroic effort to raising a child well, etc.).

Is seeking freedom bad? Is a person obliged to give heroic effort to raising a child well?

Of course, sacrificing one’s freedom to give heroic effort to raising a child well is praiseworthy. But, why is it an obligation? Why is it culpable if a person simply doesn’t want to do so?

Perhaps, if a person wants to avoid this obligation, he or she can only remain single.

 

[MagdalenaRita]

Why is it culpable if a person simply doesn’t want to do so?

I keep hearing “a person”. What if this person doesn’t want this or doesn’t want that?

Marriage is about two people coming together, sharing their love and participating in God’s creation. Also, it is about giving of oneself for your spouse and your children.

If you are seriously thinking about marriage and do not want children, I highly suggest speaking with a priest and definitely talking to the person you are intending to marry.

 

[JanetF]

Serious question to those who are old enough to remember. Was there this much stink raised over “the rhythm method” before NFP was so widely promulgated?

30 years ago the running joke was “what do you can couples who practice the rhythm method?” Answer: PARENTS.

I think NFP has come a long way in a short amount of time and is now more reliable.

 

[Elf01]

When this somewhat “pie in the sky” wishful solution lands and gets results of course.
In the meantime such unfree women may well be wholly inculpable for doing what they wisely do.

People have been called to give their lives for the faith. Just saying.

 

[SeriousQuestion]

Actually it was because you were being rude and judgmental.

 

[MagdalenaRita]

I think NFP has come a long way in a short amount of time and is now more reliable.

Definitely agree.