Is it bad that I don't take part in the sign of peace?

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I am not the biggest fan of this part of the Mass. I once attended a Church of England Mass (it was high church and I do not think we need to digress into a side discussion about whether Anglicans really have Mass). They have the Sign of Peace after the Prayer of the Faithful. I have no idea whether this would be the best place for it, but it felt better there than interrupting the Communion Rite… However, it does not feel “right” at the place where we have it.

I do not refuse to participate but only go as far as what I think it is supposed to be. I shakes hands with the person to my right and left. Others go as far as leaving their place to shake hands with other people. Father leaves the altar but only comes to the first two rows. I do not think he should leave the altar and if he is why only give the sign of peace to those at the front?
 
Sarcelle said:
I’ve been to a church were the people grew with each other and they pretty much froze out those that didn’t grow up them
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I’m in a small town parish that I did not grow up in so I see alot of that.

I had to find other means, outside of Mass social activities to meet and get to know others.
 
In parishes here, we just smile and nod/bow. It’s a bit odd to do anything else unless you’re hugging/kissing your family.

I usually just nod to the people sitting beside me and anyone who makes eye contact with me during this awkward 5 seconds.
 
I recently traveled to my hometown and
visited a Catholic church there for a weekday Mass. I was surprised when the priest completely skipped the sign of peace. I Don’t know if that is normal for all Masses or just the weekday Mass.
But there were about 30 of us there and we were Pplnot asked to share the sign of peace
with each other.
 
If you dont want to do it then don’t, other people should respect that. I don’t mind doing it but dont like to go too enthusiastic. I’m quite happy if someone doesnt want to. I have my own quirks, I dont like the thing in some churches where everyone holds hands during the Our Father…so cue me trying not to do that…such is life. I think it detracts from the prayer and I dont like holding hands and have a balance disorder so will fall over or struggle at the least. I wouldn’t worry about what other people think, if I were you… it only matters what your Father in heaven thinks and he knows why you dont do it and that you mean Him respect so nothing else matters.
In our parish it’s a minor thing people shakes hands behind them and in front and one or two of the very outgoing people might leave their pew but unlikely. It’s here the British reserve is appreciated. I’d hate it if it was a massive to do (even though I’m not British).
 
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About bowing or smiling or whatever else not to offend pew neighbour who wants to shake your hand before holy communion. Actually sorry but let them be offended. It’s offending our Lord we should be concerned about. The Agnus Dei has started and I am praying with my hands in a praying shape and that’s my duty, not worrying whether person who has turned body away from our Lord on the sanctuary to attempt to shake my hand is offended.
 
Sarcelle said:
This church had the reputation around town of being a snobby country club where the parishioners were not only cliquey but also affluent.
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That’s quite sad really. For a period of time I attended a church in a very affluent area, but the people there were very welcoming and friendly. We go to another parish now, but we still go back there regularly.
 
From what I recall, Judas Iscariot also rejected the sign of peace and look where he ended up. :roll_eyes:

I guess it’s your choice, but people may see you as being a pariah or infected by disease.
 
michaelArc said:
I guess it’s your choice, but people may see you as being a pariah or infected by disease.
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See this is a problem I have.
People thinking anything about someone and making a judgement about them. Let’s focus on the Lord.
 
I think is mostly cultural. I am originally from Italy and we are overall quite open to physical touch. I never felt uncomfortable shaking hands or, if I know the person well, giving a hug or a kiss. In US where I live now the same behavior would be probably considered inappropriate so during the sign of peace I smile and nod but I shake hands only if the person nearby starts the gesture. Also I think in US in general there is a diffuse fear of germs. At my parish there is a big container of hand sanitizer at the entrance of the church!
 
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Wait - is this truly supposed to be like “reconciling with our brother”? Because I often have no idea who these people are. So do I really need to reconcile with them?!
 
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No.
That is the point I’m making.
I will shake their hand at the SOP, and then walk out the door and they don’t even look at me. If anything it is fake and a deception.
 
Well what do expect when someone extends their hand out to you and you don’t even acknowledge them?

You have the entire mass to focus on the Lord. You honestly can’t give 30 seconds to your fellow parishioners?
 
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michaelArc said:
Well what do expect when someone extends their hand out to you and you don’t even acknowledge them?

You have the entire mass to focus on the Lord. You honestly can’t give 30 seconds to your fellow parishioners?
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No, I think Thomasbradley312 is saying that even if he does shake hands with them, the pretense is over when Mass is over and our new-found friends walk out the door without acknowledging the new friendship (or purported brotherhood). He’s making the point that the whole “Sign of Peace” wherein we are “reconciling with our brother” is a bit of a fake experience. At least that’s how I feel!

Maybe part of the problem is that we are often in mega-parishes, surrounded by strangers.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
You’re entitled to your opinion. I think you are overreacting to your dislike of the Sign of Peace though, and contributing to the image of the Church as cold and unwelcoming and legalistic. With that, as this is about the 500th thread on “I Don’t Like the Sign of Peace” that we’ve had on here, I’m muting this thread.
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Thanks for announcing that - - do you mind if we continue without you?😆
 
Do you honestly want me to turn and shake my neighbor’s hand during the sacrifice of our Lord?

I can see this is extremely important to you although I can’t for life of me imagine why. Does it really bother you if I or another parishioner put our full focus onto our Lord and His sacrifice for us rather than on you? The way I resolved this when I attended OF masses was to keep my eyes closed and head bowed except when the priest raises the host and I say my Lord and my God (get that indulgence!). Otherwise I would pray eyes closed, head down unless responding to the priest when he said the peace of the Lord be with you. I fraternized with my brethren after the mass if they stuck around. No one seemed to mind so I take it your in a different parish.
 
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