Is it degrading/condescending to refer to a woman as 'female'?

[Lea101]

I definitely think it’s inner city slang. I’m not American so I don’t claim knowledge about this, but based on social media and all, it seems extremely common with the youth who use slang in general.

 

[Lara]

I’m starting to think that receiving backlash on this Catholic forum is the norm, rather than the exception.

I’ve been on this forum since about October, and it’s been very depressing to realize that many Catholic responses are so unkind. I’m really surprised. I should have known, from having been in two ministries at Church, that there is so much tension within Catholicism.

The OP felt he was crucified, and more than likely he was, for simply using the word female. Yes the world is going crazy, but as Catholics, we should be more forgiving. Language itself is a very imperfect means of communication. Have you heard this line?

“Teach. If necessary, use words.”

For those of you who are offended by the word female, please write down ten ways you offended somebody this week which were much worse.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

I think context is everything with this sort of word.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

You stated the issue issue so simply.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

The OP felt he was crucified, and more than likely he was, for simply using the word female

If one reads the thread one will see that he was not. He was taken to task for lacking humility when he was corrected on using the word in a way that is used to demean women.

For those of you who are offended by the word female, please write down ten ways you offended somebody this week which were much worse.

No one here is offended by the word female. I am a female person, a female student, a female ______; but you have to fill in the blank. Calling me a woman is easier and less awkward than calling me a female person.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

If you wouldn’t use males in the same way maybe ask yourself why.

 

[AugustTherese]

when he was corrected on using the word in a way that is used to demean women.

No one here is offended by the word female.

You obviously did not the thread.

First of all, there is nothing inherently wrong with using the word ‘female’. Does this sound familiar: “Male and female he created them”? Secondly, it is glaringly obvious that my intention was in no way, shape or form even remotely close to even hinting at using that term in a way to ‘demean’ a woman I love more than I love myself!

He was taken to task for lacking humility

I created a post seeking urgent help on a situation that has been unbearable for me. I have been in suffering and a confounding state for nearly two years. And, people have the audacity to want to attempt to ‘correct’ something that doesn’t even need to be corrected. And, then you have the gall to to claim I was ‘lacking humility’!

 

[DignumEtJustum]

No… it is factual. When facts are offensive to people, such people are deeply troubled.

 

[Vonsalza]

Well, someone once got upset with me when I called her “ma’am”…

Always call 'em “miss”. Makes them feel younger and the ones that know they’re probably not a “miss” will smile at you for it - usually.

As an aside, I call my wife “woman” when we’re feeling a little lippy and argumentative in a semi-playful kind of way.
In response, her lippiness intensifies quite markedly.
She has also been known to respond with light violence at this point…

 

[Bruised_Reed]

You obviously did not the thread.

I read every post here and in the other thread.

First of all, there is nothing inherently wrong with using the word ‘female’. Does this sound familiar: “Male and female he created them”?

Did you read the thread. No one has suggested the word female is wrong, but how you used it.

Secondly, it is glaringly obvious that my intention was in no way, shape or form even remotely close to even hinting at using that term in a way to ‘demean’ a woman I love more than I love myself!

I wouldn’t say it was glaringly obvious. You stated that you did but how you referred to her left some question. I’m going to repeat myself: Some men deliberately use the word female to refer to women to dehumanize them. On this forums I’ve seen posters use “men and females” and those aren’t equivalent. Do you see that?

I created a post seeking urgent help on a situation that has been unbearable for me. I have been in suffering and a confounding state for nearly two years. And, people have the audacity to want to attempt to ‘correct’ something that doesn’t even need to be corrected. And, then you have the gall to to claim I was ‘lacking humility’!

What derailed your thread was you not considering the first correction. You want to become a priest yet you aren’t willing to learn how to speak about half of a congregation? You ignored anyone who was offended on behalf of a woman in your life and you appear not to care that how you used the word can be offensive. Not the word. How. You. Used. It.

Did you see the post about the difference about using boy or boys and that calling someone boy can be problematic? Do you understand why? If you do, can you give the same consideration with regard to woman/women rather than female/females?

 

[Fauken]

Oh, here’s a clever one.

 

[KathleenT]

I think someone had a bad day and took it out on you.

I might think the choice of female sounds awkward but it is certainly no reason to chastise a person.

 

[AugustTherese]

I wouldn’t say it was glaringly obvious. You stated that you did but how you referred to her left some question

Really?! Then, what exactly about how I used ‘this female’, ‘left some question’? Strange how not everyone felt this way, but a select few, mostly women.

On this forums [sic] I’ve seen posters use “men and females” and those aren’t equivalent.

What does that have anything to do with me or my OP? That seems like a hasty generalization fallacy.

No one has suggested the word female is wrong, but how you used it

Actually, not one person pointed out ‘how used it’, because, there was absolutely nothing wrong with how I used it; i.e. “This female to whom I was engaged”. Does that sound ‘dehumanizing’ to you?! The same people that had criticized me on that forum have suggested that the word ‘female’ is solely an adjective and not a noun; do you think, just maybe, that these people might have ‘read’ my OP with good intention, but rather chose only to focus on the word ‘female’, thus most probably became over-sensationalized by their seeming own insecurities, as others have clearly argued that there was nothing wrong with my usage of that term?

What derailed your thread was you not considering the first correction

Of course I ‘considered’ it. I considered it to be completely impudent for someone to attempt to ‘correct’ something that needed not to be corrected. I rebuked those comments because they were simply there solely to criticize, not to ‘correct’! My OP was to seek help about a discernment situation that has been of indescribable and excruciating, personal torment for me. And, for people to read ‘this female’, and for them to claim that you cannot use it has a noun as it is ‘dehumanizing’ is not just ignorant, but downright malicious and self-indicative of seeming deep-seeded problems they are projecting on such a superficial and trivial use of semantics.

You must have missed my multiple comments where I explicitly informed the posters that I chose to use ‘this female’ solely to protect her identity.

 

[KathleenT]

I think one of the big problems we have in our modern culture is people getting “offended on behalf of someone else.” This makes for very fraught discussions. A person takes the side of the Great Defender, helping those who cannot help themselves but the other side is defending themselves against a person who suffered no actual harm.

There is a reason in the US Constitution the accuse has th right to face their accuser. People get over-zealous in defending others. Which is often a wonderful thing but can become grossly unfair.

As no one here likely knows the woman in question better than OP, is it really appropriate for people to decide to be her defender? We don’t always have the right to speak for others. When people have given my family and friends hard times on my behalf, I find it condescending and annoying.

 

[AugustTherese]

As no one here likely knows the woman in question better than OP, is it really appropriate for people to decide to be her defender? We don’t always have the right to speak for others.

THANK YOU! And, I presume you are a woman, @KathleenT, yes?

 

[KathleenT]

Yep!

Prayers for your discernment. Sometimes picking between two goods is much harder than bearing crosses. (I am guessing that is your issue, didn’t see your other thread.)

 

[Brendan_64]

I think one of the big problems we have in our modern culture is people getting “offended on behalf of someone else.”

I would agree with that. Whether or not this trait is apparent or not on this thread is another matter, but this does seem to be prevalent in our society these days.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

As no one here likely knows the woman in question better than OP, is it really appropriate for people to decide to be her defender? We don’t always have the right to speak for others. When people have given my family and friends hard times on my behalf, I find it condescending and annoying.

Let’s not reduce it to just that (obo others). Other posters found the use offensive. I see the use regularly on CAF, and while I don’t think the use is intended to be demeaning, it’s odd that the same person will use men and not males. Perhaps I should have called them out but the OP used it in a unfortunate way, and repeatedly, and got defensive. It looks like the other thread is gone and perhaps if you had read that you would see how the conversation went.

I think some people are uncomfortable using the word woman and one has to wonder why. I’m starting to think it’s a very powerful word if some are reluctant to use it or don’t see the difference between using woman and female in the same way.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

Really?! Then, what exactly about how I used ‘this female’, ‘left some question’? Strange how not everyone felt this way, but a select few, mostly women.

Bruised_Reed:

Perhaps because women are the target of the sometimes thoughtless, sometimes deliberate and demeaning use of it.

Actually, not one person pointed out ‘how used it’, because, there was absolutely nothing wrong with how I used it; i.e. “This female

This female…what? This female what?

Does that sound ‘dehumanizing’ to you

Yeah, it does. It sounds reductive.

The same people that had criticized me on that forum have suggested that the word ‘female’ is solely an adjective and not a noun; do you think, just maybe, that these people might have ‘read’ my OP with good intention,

That you think was obvious but is not. There are plenty of Red Pill guys on the forum and the way you used it was similar to the anti-woman use of the word.

but rather chose only to focus on the word ‘female’, thus most probably became over-sensationalized by their seeming own insecurities, as others have clearly argued that there was nothing wrong with my usage of that term?

You used it in several times, and shut down those who found it problematic.

thus most probably became over-sensationalized by their seeming own insecurities,

What insecurity might that even be?

as others have clearly argued that there was nothing wrong with my usage of that term?

Others are wrong. At the very least it’s grammatically incorrect, but I’m not a stickler about grammar, I am a stickler about how people are referred to.

And, for people to read ‘this female’, and for them to claim that you cannot use it has a noun as it is ‘dehumanizing’ is not just ignorant, but downright malicious and self-indicative of seeming deep-seeded problems they are projecting on such a superficial and trivial use of semantics.

No, you are either unaware or don’t care that female is used in a deliberately demeaning way. We can unconsciously pick up a way of talking about people or think it’s cute to use a variation of the ‘N’ word or what have you. What is malicious is deliberately using words that way or minimizing their impact.

You must have missed my multiple comments where I explicitly informed the posters that I chose to use ‘this female’ solely to protect her identity.

I saw that and I saw that you edited your posts. Why did you edit them?

You skipped over my question about the words boy or boys and why one is problematic. Do you see the problem? Would you use the word in a way that is demeaning? Why or why not?

 

[angel12]

First of all, there is nothing inherently wrong with using the word ‘female’.

And again, no one said there is.