Is it degrading/condescending to refer to a woman as 'female'?

[KathleenT]

I read things like this and think it is a wonder guys talk to us at all.

 

[AugustTherese]

I don’t see a ton of posts insulting him. Just a bunch of women saying that they find it disrespectful depending on the context.

You obviously did not see the other thread where this originated. People knew the context there along with my intentions, yet still felt the audacity to criticize me. Hence, I moved it over to this thread.

He just got offended because he didn’t get the response he’s looking for. Perhaps he thought he would get a heated thread about feminism. Idk but it’s obvious that he’s not here to find out the answer to the question he asked

It’s nearly impossible to ‘offend’ me. I did, rather, get annoyed that people had the gall to turn a thread of mine regarding my discernment of the priesthood into this rigmarole of political correctness when they, again, fully were aware of my intentions and the context.

 

[AugustTherese]

We all know you didn’t try to be offensive. We know you were trying to protect her identity,

Really?!?!? Then why the comments?! You’ve got to be kidding me!!!

Reread what you wrote:

We all know you didn’t try to be offensive. We know you were trying to protect her identity

your utter and obstinate denial that your words could be taken in a way that you didn’t mean them

You ‘all’ know that I did not try to be offensive, yet I somehow have this ‘utter and obstinate denial that [my] words could be taken in a way that didn’t mean’?! Which is it?

 

[Seeksadvice]

I hear a lot of terms for a lot of things. I scratch my head at people complaining about using the terms male/female. There are a lot nastier terms out there than that; that tend to come blaring out of vehicles, etc., where the owners have more stereo than common sense.

 

[Fauken]

You ‘all’ know that I did not try to be offensive, yet I somehow have this ‘utter and obstinate denial that [my] words could be taken in a way that didn’t mean’?! Which is it?

They’re not mutually exclusive, though I may have been unclear. Saying that your words have an implied insult and saying you’re being insulting are two, though subtly different, things. One is an implication, willing or not, the other is outright and direct. People are having more issues with the former than the latter.

 

[Fauken]

Really?!?!? Then why the comments?! You’ve got to be kidding me!!!

On my end?

Whether you’ll believe me or not, I care a very great deal about words, how they’re chosen, and paired in sentences. It’s almost like they have a taste and a certain sound to them. I said earlier that I have no agenda to push, but if I did have one, it would be to help you see what others are trying to say. If my memory is correct, I posted something in your thread about making decisions in times of spiritual desolation and answered why I thought you were in one. I then started posting again to remark about how there are many types of dictionaries, that we didn’t know what dictionary your Google definition of female was from (more specifically I asked you if you knew). From then on, every post I wrote was to expound on the people who were saying your word choice was improper/rude/offensive/etc. I know you’re not trying nor wanting to be offensive, so I keep writing to try and explain their points so you can try to avoid future unintended mishaps. I’m not here to bully you or shove a radical feminist agenda (that I don’t even approve of) at you.

 

[DarkLight]

I am reminded of the quote- No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

I always thought that was a pretty silly quote. Good way to pretend that what goes on in our world has nothing to do with our own personal lives.

 

[abucs]

I see plenty of ‘male’ signage for toilets.

Never realised I was being persecuted.

Can I sue anyone?

Isn’t that how the secular religion works? I’m offended. I am therefore entitled to your money.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

But would you refer to a man as a male. If I said, that male I live with is always leaving the toilet seat up, wouldn’t you think that a strange way to talk about my husband.

 

[abucs]

I think given the context of the word ‘male’ in the sentence it would be indicating you would be extending your husband’s actions to males generally.

I would think this could be used either because of jest, observation or from a militant feminist perspective.

I would not think it was strange from one of these perspectives.

 

[ConfusedLucy]

That’s definitely what I would assume if I heard someone use male like that

It’s not the most offensive insult in the world though.

 

[abucs]

 

[KathleenT]

That’s not what that quote means at all.

 

[KathleenT]

Why is it a mishap?

Some women were offended, some thought it was strange, some would prefer another word, and some thought it was perfectly fine.

So out of all of those responses, why is it okay for you to say it was a mishap because some were offend but wrong of the OP to decide it wasn’t a mishap because many weren’t offended?

One thing none of the posts can explain is why those who took offense trump those who did not.

 

[Fauken]

It’s not a mishap because people were offended. It was a mishap because that was not the best choice in wording and as a result people got offended. Nor has anyone said the offense, perceived or not, trumps the feelings of those who don’t. For what I’ve seen, the point has been to show that their concern is valid.

 

[AugustTherese]

It was a mishap because that was not the best choice in wording and as a result people got offended

Again, I cannot help how people take a word I used with perfectly good intentions and use it as a catalyst to push their own propaganda. I could have used ‘woman’, and someone could have gotten offended and retorted with, “She’s got a name!..Would you address her as: Hey, woman!?” Now, it becomes a catch-22 that no one can win; we might as well not discuss anything and anytime in fear of offending a select few, especially when they know the context was appropriate and the intention good.

 

[KathleenT]

Just call her cupcake next time.

 

[DarkLight]

That’s not what that quote means at all.

Offense isn’t an inherently bad thing. It’s our way of caring about the society we’re in enough to want things that are wrong to be better.

In this case…while OP may not have meant offense, he used language that is very commonly used by those who do. And unfortunately a lot of them tend to claim the same “you shouldn’t get offended” type of lines as a defense for why what they said was ok. I would advise OP to avoid the word simply because it can be a word that comes across that way, and in these cases it’s very easy to substitute one that won’t.

 

[KathleenT]

You advised and he disagreed. As is his right.

But are you offended because some men are intending to offend you? Or are you offended because there is a reason to take offense to what they said?

Let me put it this way…taking offense for no other reason than someone is trying to offend you is the same as saying “How High?” When they say “jump”

 

[Fauken]

For all of the time I’ve been in this forum, I’ve never seen anyone get corrected for calling a human female “woman”. Granted, I’ve never seen them get corrected for using “female”, but I don’t think they used it as you did. And what propaganda has anyone shoved at you?