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Lucky7
Guest
I’m confused. Didn’t you ask in the title of your thread whether it was depression? If you’re sure it isn’t why did you ask us?
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benjammin
Guest
It kind of seems like depression, but i’m not terribly unhappy. To be honest i’m more just tired of having to live up to the expectations of society. Its hard because I try to do things like approach girls and try to actively seek marriage, but it doesn’t seem to work, and I just feel like giving up. Sometimes it makes me sad, but sometimes I’m more angry that I can’t seem to get anywhere with my vocationI’m confused. Didn’t you ask in the title of your thread whether it was depression? If you’re sure it isn’t why did you ask us?
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Christine85
Guest
I think you just need to try and be more positive, I understand your situation must be very frustrating, but as I said earlier, which you did not appreciate, You just need to continue to trust in God, everything will be ok. As you said, rely on him for your strength. Be happy in yourself, and try to remain positive and you never know what might happen .It kind of seems like depression, but i’m not terribly unhappy. To be honest i’m more just tired of having to live up to the expectations of society. Its hard because I try to do things like approach girls and try to actively seek marriage, but it doesn’t seem to work, and I just feel like giving up. Sometimes it makes me sad, but sometimes I’m more angry that I can’t seem to get anywhere with my vocation
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Nom_the_Wise
Guest
You young folk are just killing me. :banghead:
Maybe it’s because I’m in my mid 40’s and doctors get harder to avoid when you get older, but based on the OP’s original post alone, a visit to a doctor for a check up is clearly in order. You *may be *clinically depressed or you very well *may not be *clinically depressed. You *may be *borderline diabetic or not. You *may be *having kidney issues, liver issues, *pick an organ *by God! The point is, benjammin’s original post spooked a good deal of us, and going to a doctor for a routine check up *should *happen. The attitude presented there was not a normal mindset and a doctor can absolutely help to get to the bottom of it, at least rule things out and narrow the field.
It’s just a really really really good idea. Even if he’s from Nebraska. “My Antonia” by Willa Cather is my *only *experience with Nebraska. I was 24 when I was diagnosed with type II diabetes, and benjammin’s experience is giving me serious flashbacks. Blood tests and urine samples are certainly warrented, no matter what else. It’s hard to have a positive self image when your blood is as thick as molassus.
When that’s worked out, yea or nay, you can focus on spiritual and vocational issues.
Maybe it’s because I’m in my mid 40’s and doctors get harder to avoid when you get older, but based on the OP’s original post alone, a visit to a doctor for a check up is clearly in order. You *may be *clinically depressed or you very well *may not be *clinically depressed. You *may be *borderline diabetic or not. You *may be *having kidney issues, liver issues, *pick an organ *by God! The point is, benjammin’s original post spooked a good deal of us, and going to a doctor for a routine check up *should *happen. The attitude presented there was not a normal mindset and a doctor can absolutely help to get to the bottom of it, at least rule things out and narrow the field.
It’s just a really really really good idea. Even if he’s from Nebraska. “My Antonia” by Willa Cather is my *only *experience with Nebraska. I was 24 when I was diagnosed with type II diabetes, and benjammin’s experience is giving me serious flashbacks. Blood tests and urine samples are certainly warrented, no matter what else. It’s hard to have a positive self image when your blood is as thick as molassus.
When that’s worked out, yea or nay, you can focus on spiritual and vocational issues.
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Nom_the_Wise
Guest
And I’m *not *yelling. I just don’t want anyone to accuse me of Internet yelling. I’m being direct and trying to give a sense of urgency.
More general practioners are now trained to identify (or rule out) clinical depression because there are more of them than there are psychiatrists, and a general practioner can order blood and urine tests that a psychiatrist cannot. It’s one-stop shopping, bro!
Seriously, you don’t want type II diabetes if you can avoid it. If you have it, diabetic meds combined with diet and exercise will help you. If you don’t get it ruled out, you will suffer like this for years and think that it’s your fault, that there’s something wrong with you. And if you have type II diabetes, or are clinically depressed, then you’d be right.
You. Doctor. Stadt.
Or not. It’s a free country after all.
More general practioners are now trained to identify (or rule out) clinical depression because there are more of them than there are psychiatrists, and a general practioner can order blood and urine tests that a psychiatrist cannot. It’s one-stop shopping, bro!
Seriously, you don’t want type II diabetes if you can avoid it. If you have it, diabetic meds combined with diet and exercise will help you. If you don’t get it ruled out, you will suffer like this for years and think that it’s your fault, that there’s something wrong with you. And if you have type II diabetes, or are clinically depressed, then you’d be right.
You. Doctor. Stadt.
Or not. It’s a free country after all.
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Christine85
Guest
I agree to rule out diabetes as it can really alter mood
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october_baby
Guest
I understand where your coming from more than you know :console:Anymore, I find myself just not wanting to give a darn. For a few years I thought I was called to marriage. I remember going to a retreat and praying and feel that I was called to be married and have kids. Mostly because I realized that I am a person who needs people, and being alone isn’t really good for me. (not that its the only reason I want to get married, but I need that support). However, lately I just feel so down on the whole marriage thing.
I feel that i’m not good looking enough to get a girl. I mean even devout girls need something to look at and get them interested. However, rather than work on my appearance, I find myself not caring, and saying “if girls don’t like me for who I am, then its their fault”. I don’t really feel motivated to lose weight or work on my appearance and that I don’t want to change since i’m just fine and its hard for me to lose weight.
I also find myself wanting to be less social. Sure I want friends and want people to go out with, but I don’t have many friends nearby, and though I try to go out, I end up going out alone and feeling like some wierdo creep, and anymore I just say screw it. I’d rather stay at home and be lonely where people couldn’t see me, and only go out for mass, my job, and just to hang out and watch football, even if it is alone. I feel anymore like people just don’t like me or think i’m a good friend, and that if they don’t want to, I’ll just stay by myself no matter how lonely it gets. I’m starting to hate social events. It takes great effort just to talk to random strangers, and i’m afraid they’ll think i’m creepy or weird.
I wish I could feel more interested. I still want to date and find a wife, but anymore it just seems so hard, and girls just seem to think i’m nice. I’ve tried Catholicmatch, as well as match, and nothing’s worked out, except one girl I went out w/ three times (granted it was probably for the best. I don’t think she was as committed of a catholic as I was.) Anyway i just end up feeling dissapointed in both them and myself. Its like i’m just to bland, but maybe thats just it. Maybe my calling is just to work and go to church and pray until I die
Anyway, i’m starting to feel like married life, while it would be wonderful, seems to be too hard. At least the finding a wife part. I feel like it just would be too much effort, and even though it makes me sad that’ll i’d never get to experience being with a girl or the joys of marriage, at least if I just give up, I know what to expect. In a way its kind of comforting. I’d rather jsut be alone and depressed, relying on God to make me feel better and hopefully just live out my dull life until he calls me home.
So could this be a call to the single life, or am I just drowning in depression? Anymore i feel like i’d rather just say single. It would be depressing, but easier. It’s so hard to talk to girls. I mean for heaven’s sake I only have 1 female friend. I must be weird or something. I just feel like anymore i don’t care about marriage. Also, while there were girls I was interested in, i’ve never made a move on them ,and for the past few months i’ve just come to the conclusion they’d rather not talk to me. I also get the feeling that a lot of the best girls are already taken by 23, at least here where i live in the Heartland where most people are still married in their early 20’s. Anyway, it just feels like no girls out there, and even if their is one, its my luck she lives way too far away and I can’t meet her often.
Anyway, sorry for the long rant. I just need some way to get this out. Hopefully I can find some answers. All I know is that I don’t want to be priest or religious, but i shift between singlehood and mariatge, though singlehood is more of a default vocation than a real one. I just feel like though that singlehood would be easier, even if more stressful
Anyway, God bless and thanks for reading
Benjammin
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haedron
Guest
Honestly, you sound depressed to me. This is just my opinion, but I think you need to take a step back from worrying about finding a potential wife, and figure some things out about yourself.
First and foremost, I’d see a doctor and get a professional opinion. You don’t necessarily need to take medication to deal with depression, counseling and behavioral therapy can help a lot and are generally a longer term solution than meds since they deal with the underlying issue and not just the symptoms.
I’ve been through the anxiety/depression thing, and it’s no fun, but here’s the most important thing I’ve learned: Your focus determines your reality. Look at it this way: Right now, you’re spending a lot of energy on negative things - getting down on yourself about your weight, your looks, your lack of female friends, etc. What if you took that energy and channeled it into positive things? Like someone said earlier - join a gym, find a hobby you are passionate about, contribute at your parish, get involved. It’s not easy, but it can be done.
You may find that if you focus on yourself and figuring out who you are as a man and - most importantly - channel all that negative energy into positive outlets, the issues with the fairer sex may sort themselves out.
First and foremost, I’d see a doctor and get a professional opinion. You don’t necessarily need to take medication to deal with depression, counseling and behavioral therapy can help a lot and are generally a longer term solution than meds since they deal with the underlying issue and not just the symptoms.
I’ve been through the anxiety/depression thing, and it’s no fun, but here’s the most important thing I’ve learned: Your focus determines your reality. Look at it this way: Right now, you’re spending a lot of energy on negative things - getting down on yourself about your weight, your looks, your lack of female friends, etc. What if you took that energy and channeled it into positive things? Like someone said earlier - join a gym, find a hobby you are passionate about, contribute at your parish, get involved. It’s not easy, but it can be done.
You may find that if you focus on yourself and figuring out who you are as a man and - most importantly - channel all that negative energy into positive outlets, the issues with the fairer sex may sort themselves out.
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Breezy16
Guest
I thought I was gonna be married, and now I realized I’m bi!
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on_the_hill
Guest
Ben–first of all, depression isn’t necessarily about being sad. Second-- you say you’re short,balding,& fat. Ya can’t do anything for the first two but the third you can. Heathful eating & hard exercise are proven to help with mood/depression.
Third, yes, trust in God. But remember: the Lord helps them that help themselves.
Third, yes, trust in God. But remember: the Lord helps them that help themselves.
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