Is it immoral to evict a friend?

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It’s a sin for your “friend” to sponge off of you. St Paul said that
-For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: If any one will not work, let him not eat"
(2 Thessalonians 3:10, RSVCE)
 
Get a lawyer to start eviction proceedings, give her 30 days notice, and be prepared to have the sheriff evict her.

You have tried being kind, you have asked her nicely, you have tried to give her a time frame, nothing has worked. At her age and with the way she is (not) handling things, it seems to me that she is going to need help from her church, and social services. You might want to do some legwork and get her some phone numbers to get started with.
 
This person isn’t a “friend”. A true friend wouldn’t think it was okay to manipulate and impose on others in this manner, nor would a true friend be imposing guilt on their host.

Many people are prayer warriors, including right on these forums. Praying is fine, but it does not give a person the right to camp out in your home, nor is that even necessary in order to pray for someone. If I pray for my friend Joe, I don’t assume it’s okay for me to crash indefinitely on Joe’s couch in return for my prayers or that it makes my prayers more efficacious to do that.

The priest probably wants you to try to be kind, but if you have to call the law then you have to call the law. I also can’t see the ending of this friendship as being a bad thing for you. This person needs help that you cannot give, and they seem to be pretty toxic. If I somehow ended up in this situation, I would first urge the person to leave on their own and if they weren’t agreeing, I would do whatever legally I needed to do to get them out.

One question - if this is your “apartment” that presumably you rent from some other landlord, are you even allowed to have somebody else who isn’t on the lease living there for 2 years? I would check the terms of your own lease to make sure you’re not in violation by having an additional roommate who isn’t on the lease. If you’re violating your own lease then the friend needs to go as of right now.
 
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Thanks Agnus…I do have guilt.issues I think which is why I’ve let her stay so long…like a fear that God will be mad at me if I assertively make sure she knows it’s time to move on…it’s completely false and misguided on my part but I am working on it through prayer…I think i was also scared that having her go would put me back into a depression that started after my multiple surgeries…but I’m better thank God and ready to get back into life!
 
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Thanks Puer…she had been a friend through the years even while living somewhere else but I agree I’m being taken advantage of…or more like she is too comfortable in this scenario to really leave…I blame myself too because I vacillated on really asking her to leave…I’ll ask but then pull back…but now I’m ready to move forward
 
Thx! Yes…that is why I’m consulting my lawyer…you proposed a good suggestion! Thanks
 
Thanks…what do you think is a fair time period after being here 2 years? 2 months?
 
Thx! Since she already has not agreed to leaving in 3 months, I’m thinking of starting legal action right away though? I’d be happy to give her 2 or 3 months as long as she is legally bound to leave when that time has expired.
 
Thx!:what do you think is a fair deadline for a someone with no money who has lived here for 2 years? She has kids but they are in Trinidad…one is here but he rents a room in a house and has a limited income
 
Thanks Penny…its hard to believe she is genuine but I believe she is. I’m only presenting the concrete details but not the generous side of her personality. However, yes, I absolutely agree I’m being taken advantage of…I know she is praying for a new place but she needs to take action as well.
 
Thx! The she’s human comment was meant to imply that she can be prone to manipulation like anyone else…I’ve seen it in other ways with her too…I’m confused why she seems to always have a direct line to God! As a Catholic, which she is not, total humility in my opinion is the mark of a true saint…she has so many saintly virtues like faith and prayer but her proness to manipulation has me confused… .I think it’s because she is desperate for a home which hurts me but i agree it’s not my responsibility to give her a home until she is good and ready to leave…
 
In NYS once they’ve lived there for thirty days it takes a formal court eviction to make them leave, even if they’ve never paid a dime in rent. As a police officer I’m frequently called to “evict” deadbeat tenants and then become the subject of verbal abuse myself when I inform the caller that I have no legal authority to make them leave.
 
Thx so much…I own the coop…or technically I’m a shareholder since a coop is not real property…management knows she is there and seems to accept it…at first they wanted me to sign something saying she resides her for liability purposes maybe? I said I wanted to talk to my lawyer first…they seemed to have dropped the subject…
 
Thx…they know she is there and don’t seem to have a problem with it…I though of that too though!
 
Thx! I worry about the fact that she might not be here legally as preventing her from getting civil services? Perhaps not?
 
Yes…I agree with you that living with me and praying for me are two separate things! I am grateful for her company and her prayers but I believe now it’s time to move on…
 
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