C
CopticChristian
Guest
Bill,This is interesting because from what I have learned, and from what I have seen in both my personal life and in my professional life, is that the rescuer and the enabler are two separate and distinct roles.
The ‘enabler’ makes excues for the alcoholic, often the spouse, calling in sick for the alcoholic and is also co-dependent on the alcoholic, effectively shifting their psychological/emotional problems into the backround and focusing on the alcoholic as a means of unhealthily coping with their own issues.
And the rescuer is one who will not enable the alcoholic. They will do various things to promote the person to get off of alcohol, but won’t enable. They will take the person to treatment, etc, they will be a person who the alcoholic will confide in, but will be a person who gives the alcoholic the ‘straight dope’ when it comes to their drinking. They may acknowledge that the alcoholic has a lot of problems in their life, and acknowledge that this could very well lead them to drinking…but they will not allow the alcoholic to view these as excues to drink. They will essentiall say “yes, you have it hard” but drinking is making those things worse. I will help you insofar as your getting away from alcohol but wont’ support your use of it at all.
This is part of the psychological model I learned re: alcoholism and believe that those working to reform in AA are moreso resuers and not enablers. They may have small traits of enabling but don’t fit that role like the spouse of an alcoholic typically does, giving money for alcohol, continuing to make excuses for the alcoholic etc…while the rescuer will only work with the alcoholic around stopping drinking, not giving them money for ‘this is the last time’ 100 times in a row, giving them a place to stay dispite their continued use, etc the way enablers do.
God Bless,
Bill
Most would say that the rescuer/enabler are the same as seen here…
huffingtonpost.com/carole-bennett/rescuing-the-alcoholicadd_b_476862.html
loriklauser.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=47&Itemid=39But what do they mean? What does the **“rescuer” or “enabler” **look like and why are these labels so common to so many well meaning family members and friends that love the alcoholic/addict?
alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa980225.htmAn enabler or rescuer is a person whose actions make it easy for someone with an addiction or who is dependent upon something to keep on in their poor behavior.
I don’t think it really matters because once you realize that this is dysfunctional thinking and understand dysfunctional thinking you should then realize that the entire paradigm of AA is dysfunctional filled with lies, secrets, shoulds and shouldnt’s which is the earmark of all dysfunctional thinking.It’s easy to define the “rescuer” or “caretaker” as an enabler.
In other words the disease model of AA/Religion of the 12 steps is a dysfunctional paradigm.