Is it just me

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…or does the Family Life forum seem more like a Soap Opera these days. 🤷 When I first arrived at CAF in 2007 it was actually quite a fun place to hang out. Now it’s just plain sickening! 😦
 
Convert_in_99 said:
…or does the Family Life forum seem more like a Soap Opera these days. 🤷 When I first arrived at CAF in 2007 it was actually quite a fun place to hang out. Now it’s just plain scary.
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There’s a lot of trolling in the Family Life forum.

So, don’t take it too seriously.
 
Truth is often stranger than fiction.

It can be very hard to identify trolling vs serious posters, and there are (seem to be) many serious and genuine posters who need help. Better to tolerate some trolling to help those genuine posters than to assume they’re all trolling.

Plus, reading some of the posts here make me very thankful for the good things in my life (esp. wife and children), and aware to cherish and nurture them.
 
I’ve been on and off since 2010, but from what I could tell is there’s a lot of people who are stunted when it comes to decision-making skills. A lot of people have come here for help, told us their situations, and then sort of throw a tantrum or come back later to tell us the aftermath. I think a lot of people’s lives really are stranger, wilder, and more shocking than fiction. But, it’s life and life can really suck at times.
 
Generally, if someone posts about how his wife is cheating on him, I assume troll.

If someone posts about how her husband is cheating on her, I assume it’s a troll guy pretending to be a woman.

I’ve seen the dark places on the Internet. There’s a formula. I see it on CAF once in a while.

Other than that, I assume if the insanely complicated life story is too hard to believe, it’s a troll.

On the other hand–I work with a woman who’s left her supposedly abusive husband (and left her children) three times, has been carrying on an adulterous affair (not her first) with a married guy who works around our building, is currently going through divorce…🤷
 
on_the_hill said:
Generally, if someone posts about how his wife is cheating on him, I assume troll.

If someone posts about how her husband is cheating on her, I assume it’s a troll guy pretending to be a woman.

I’ve seen the dark places on the Internet. There’s a formula. I see it on CAF once in a while.

Other than that, I assume if the insanely complicated life story is too hard to believe, it’s a troll.
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One complicating wrinkle is that some people (and they are usually male people) have a sexual fetish for being cheated on. So, at least some of the people that go on and on about being cheated on aren’t just trolling or poor suffering souls–they’re getting their jollies from writing erotic fiction about being cheated on.

Years ago, I was volunteering at a Crisis Pregnancy Center where a naive worker took a call from a guy that was going on and on about how his heavily pregnant girlfriend was having sex with other men. I wasn’t that worldly-wise at the time, but even I could tell from hearing about it that he was using our Crisis Pregnancy Center as his own personal free phone sex line.

Blech!
 
on_the_hill said:
Generally, if someone posts about how his wife is cheating on him, I assume troll.

If someone posts about how her husband is cheating on her, I assume it’s a troll guy pretending to be a woman.

I’ve seen the dark places on the Internet. There’s a formula. I see it on CAF once in a while.

Other than that, I assume if the insanely complicated life story is too hard to believe, it’s a troll.
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Even if you are correct 90% of the time (which I highly doubt), there’s 10% of the time you are (if you “call them out”) heaping misery on people in terrible situations who are looking for help.

I’d rather feed 9 trolls and help 1 genuine person than accuse them all of trolling.
 
underacloud said:
Even if you are correct 90% of the time (which I highly doubt), there’s 10% of the time you are (if you “call them out”) heaping misery on people in terrible situations who are looking for help.

I’d rather feed 9 trolls and help 1 genuine person than accuse them all of trolling.
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There’s also the issue that people in real difficulties do internet searches for their particular situations, so it can be worthwhile to take the trouble to give a good answer, even if you think the particular question is fake.
 
Xantippe said:
There’s also the issue that people in real difficulties do internet searches for their particular situations, so it can be worthwhile to take the trouble to give a good answer, even if you think the particular question is fake.
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Absolutely. They can all be treated as hypotheticals. There’s lots of good advice offered on this forum that is useful to others, regardless of whether the situation is genuine or a ruse.
 
underacloud said:
Even if you are correct 90% of the time (which I highly doubt), there’s 10% of the time you are (if you “call them out”) heaping misery on people in terrible situations who are looking for help.

I’d rather feed 9 trolls and help 1 genuine person than accuse them all of trolling.
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Here’s the thing I’ve noticed about using Internet forums, like CAF, for help.

A lot of people don’t have others in their lives to turn to for help. If they are close to others, they refrain from asking because of impending criticism, get told to get a divorce, tell their husband want to do, etc. BTDT. Forums are a place where people can at least express what is on their minds without being censored too much. There are so many people who are just stifled and need to spill and probably have no other place. I’d rather have trolls around who sound like people who are venting, and know the people who are genuinely venting and asking are at least getting some of that tension out. It’s better than getting wasted every night.
 
i agree with all of the above. And add that there are a lot of people who are addicted to posting all their problems and get more out of that than they would from actually solving problems.
 
What an uncharitable thread!

Some people come here looking for help from like-minded people, people who are at the end of their tether… who may not have anyone else to talk to and people here say its like a soap opera?
If its a wife cheating its a troll?

WOW, thank goodness i have good friends to talk to and a strong faith, because if this was my only hope, then I’d be totally lost.

I’m with the other poster who said you should always give helpful advice even if you suspect a troll.

Many years ago I was on here when I was in a VERY difficult situation, an abusive marriage and because there were a few ppl posting about unhappy marriages, someone, like the OP said a similar thing and started a thread about ‘what you love most about your spouse’ in response! Talk about rubbing it in.

There are MANY people suffering because of adultery, or the mental illness in a partner or an abusive relationship… its the demise of marriage and the wages of sin. Sometimes an anonymous forum is the only place someone call feel comfortable discussing these situations.

Don’t reduce REAL people’s suffering to a Soap Opera.

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people are suffering so much in their lives. And if you find it sickening… DON’T read the threads!
 
There are certain keywords in a posting that I usually avoid in family life and other subforums because I don’t want to read explicit posts.

I just recently opened a thread an literally dropped my phone because of the disgusting detail, and vocabulary used to describe the issue.There was no warning.
 
AveMaria5 said:
What an uncharitable thread!

Some people come here looking for help from like-minded people, people who are at the end of their tether… who may not have anyone else to talk to and people here say its like a soap opera?
If its a wife cheating its a troll?

WOW, thank goodness i have good friends to talk to and a strong faith, because if this was my only hope, then I’d be totally lost.

I’m with the other poster who said you should always give helpful advice even if you suspect a troll.

Many years ago I was on here when I was in a VERY difficult situation, an abusive marriage and because there were a few ppl posting about unhappy marriages, someone, like the OP said a similar thing and started a thread about ‘what you love most about your spouse’ in response! Talk about rubbing it in.

There are MANY people suffering because of adultery, or the mental illness in a partner or an abusive relationship… its the demise of marriage and the wages of sin. Sometimes an anonymous forum is the only place someone call feel comfortable discussing these situations.

Don’t reduce REAL people’s suffering to a Soap Opera.

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people are suffering so much in their lives. And if you find it sickening… DON’T read the threads!
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I’m sorry if you took it as mean. That was not my intention. Im sorry if I hurt you, really I am! :console:

If you look at the latest threads though, they are not from the victim’s perspective, but from the person who comitted the sin. They are seeking to get off clean and not make any mention of their sin to their spouses who have a right as human beings to being treated with dignity and respect. They are being victims of secrecy that could be harmful to not only their emotional well being, but even their physical health. It is sickening that this is occurring. It should not be allowed to happen! 😦 it IS very much like a soap opera. They always get away free and leave devastated spouses and families behind! 😦 The victims will have to live a based on lies. It’s horrible! 😦

I have also had plenty of slaps in the face being here. We can’t have children, I have severe mental illness, and am in a mixed marriage. None of which are very well thought of in many circles of catholic persons. So trust me I can understand that pain immensely! 😦
 
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